Australian Survivor

Australian Survivor: Disorganized Organized Chaos

Logan is back with Episode 2 of Australian Survivor: Season 4. This episode he looks into reasons why a player lost and answers a reader’s question about diversity on Australian television.

Australian Survivor: Disorganized Organized Chaos




   Michelle          Sarah             Henry                Ben



Joan: Gone. She is still really cute in her intro shot, though.



      Mark W          Kent              Odette



Jacqui:  She looks like she wants to kick somebody’s ass in her intro shot. It cracks me up each time.



      Jericho      Samantha         Luke




        Ziggy            Locky         Anneliese       Mark H



       Adam               Tara               Jarrad         Tessa



         Kate              Aimee            Peter                AK



Previously on Australian Survivor: Cyclone Joan, the one who was expecting to do better than anybody did last year, ended up doing worse than almost anybody did last year as she was hit with what was ultimately an 8-4 elimination at Tribal Council.

In other words, the Cyclone Joan did not wreak as much havoc as Suenami.

And the Suenami, of course, is as weak as Logan Saunders’ storms in blogging which he is afraid will soon be called “Sue Not Me”.



Kent announces to everyone that he does not care who voted against him. He was surprised by the tie. So was Samantha. She is more upset than Kent is about it. This should be fun.

Luke brags about flipping the vote (although Kent stayed in the game and probably pissed off half of the tribe in the process).

LUKE: You can’t control me. I am in control of myself.

That is what every alliance wants to hear. Producers want a chaotic mess in contrast to last year’s relatively straightforward gameplay, and I think they are going to get what they want.

I am sure the strategy obsessed Survivor watchers are going to be infuriated by this, but it is going to be such a hot mess to watch.



AK starts crying. Everybody else talks about AK being on the outs. AK is aware he has dug his own hole. Adam proceeds to console him.

AK: I feel like I jumped out the blocks like Usain Bolt. I am just gunning it like I think it is a 100-metre sprint and it is a marathon.

Australian Survivor has AK running in this game like it is Usain, baby. Man, I really need to get DJ Khaled out of my head.

Adam wants to send AK home because it would be a nice feeling.

I don’t know if I want that. If AK is already a disaster on night 3, imagine what he would be like by night 33 or night 43.



Samantha recaps her alliance with Mark W, Jacqui, Henry, and Sarah. She says Mark W is the only person she can be real with.

They note the opposing alliance is Ben, Luke, Odette, and Michelle.

Samantha does not know who is in control of the other alliance, but she trusts Michelle the least of anyone.

Now we hear Michelle’s perspective. She says Samantha was too dominating.

SAMANTHA: But Luke is loose.

LUKE: One strong alliance? BORING!

We’ve got Homer Simpson at the Asaga camp. Awesome.

Luke and Jericho discuss their simultaneous brotherly and father-son bond. That means we have a 5-5 alliance with Kent in the middle. Luke thinks he has Kent turned against them.

LUKE (slaps JERICHO in the crotch): You just gotta tell [him] Sam is a loser!

JERICHO: It’s going to be a bloody mess!

A 5-5-1 division on Asaga, where the guy who received six votes is somehow in the middle. My god.


Mark H is chasing down a shark. Meanwhile, we now break down alliances on Samatau.

Tara, Peter, Adam, Kate, Tessa, and Ziggy (the guy from Laverne and Shirley?)

Tara notes Adam as the leader of the alliance and is okay to be his wingman and really likes him. They decide to bring AK into the alliance and continue to drag him.

AK notes Adam is in the power position as we watch Adam be the only one receiving a shoulder massage as the group sits in a circle. So over the top.

AK: The idol is the golden ticket. I am going to make people think I have an idol.

Ah, AK in the Idol Factory. There’s no place I know like pure pure imagination. . .

AK approaches Jarrad.

AK: I found a chicken idol in the chicken coop on the ship … I have to play it on the first Tribal Council…I could either choose the chicken coop or I can play an immunity idol on myself.


As in DAYUM! this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

Jarrad buys it. My word.

JARRAD: That’s not what I wanted to hear.

It’s what producers wanted to hear. I can guarantee that.

The story spreads. Apparently, Jarrad has seen the chicken idol.

Everyone is talking about the chicken idol. This is as absurd as Vince’s Poop Idol from Worlds Apart.

AK: I didn’t come here to finish in second place. I came here to win. I am going to eat my way to the top.

What’s he going to eat? His chicken idols? And don’t worry AK, I don’t think you have to worry about finishing in second place.



One member from each tribe goes down a slip and slide, grabs a ball, and puts it into their goal. First to SEVEN wins reward.

And what is the reward for this insanely physical challenge? Fishing gear and an outrigger canoe.

Needless to say, this challenge build is much smaller than the immunity challenge.

Kate sits out. She hasn’t had one confessional yet, by the way.

Apparently, each tribe can volunteer their first player. It’s Locky versus Mark W.

JLP: Damn…Battle of the Big Boys.

Straight women and gay men…win reward!

Locky scores the first point.

Match 2: Luke vs. Adam.  Adam’s dive is ridiculous. He sticks his tongue out at Luke.


Way to channel your inner Chris Daugherty.

Match 3: Jericho vs. Peter. Jericho totes whoops Peter.

Match 4: Anneliese vs. Jacqui. Anneliese slips on her back. She tries to rip Jacqui’s pants off. Jacqui is able to stand upright and punt the ball.

Score is 2-2, by the way.

Ben is hesitant to go up against Mark H.

JLP: Good luck, boys.

BEN: I’ll need it.

Match 5: Mark H. vs. Ben

Mark gets VIOLENT with Ben. Ben’s shorts have been down for nearly the whole round. There were some big head slams. Mark scores the point.

Match 6: Ziggy vs. Odette. Ziggy wins.

Match 7: Jarrad vs. Kent. Kent falls before he even starts the slide. Jarrad wins. 5-2.

Match 8: Aimee vs. Michelle. Aimee wins.

I wish they would spend the extra second saying who is against who when there are 23 people in this game.

Match 9: AK vs. Henry. Battle of the Manbuns. AK talks strategy with Henry and says he is in trouble on his tribe. I don’t think they are even talking that quietly.

AK: I am on the outs and I am not even strategizing… If there is a mutiny, I’ll be taking it. Good luck, bro.

JLP: Aaron, if you win it right here, you’ll be a hero for your tribe.

Henry proceeds to grab the ball and spike it without mercy. AK loses his chance at securing the game-winning point. It’s 6-3. Pure silence when AK rejoins his tribe.

Match 10: Tessa vs. Samantha. Sam scores the point. This is after Tess does a body slam on Sam’s head in the slip n’ slide.

Match 11: Tara vs. Sarah. Tara holds onto Sarah’s legs for dear life after Sarah grabs the ball. Sarah kicks Tara’s cleavage and is so close to the goal. It looks like Tara is about to wrestle it away, but Sarah musters the point. Michelle lets out a primal yell.

Everyone has had a turn. It is 6-5. Locky and Mark are up again. They lather up. Geez. Do we need this scene?

Match 12: Locky vs. Mark W. Locky completely loses his shorts. It’s like watching an ancient Greek Olympic wrestling match.

JLP: Locky is doing the Whale!

His day one stunt for the tribe is proving to be useful.

Locky pulls a Sugar and scores the winning point naked.

JLP: Nice cheeks.

And that’s how Samatau wins reward.



LOCKY: I lost a bit of dignity.

Dignity is lost, but fishing gear and a canoe are won.

AK analyzes the fishing gear and sees a wrapped up envelope in the canoe. Locky and Adam are hanging around the fishing gear. AK concludes he will come back later in the day.

Adam rounds up his core alliance and says he thinks he knows where the clue is and wants them to distract AK because he figures AK spotted the clue too.

Adam casually strolls over alone and pockets the clue. The poker player pulls it off. Now we have several shots of Adam’s pocket.

AK knows Adam has the clue. It’s good because Adam is his alliance, right?

Kate and Adam read the hidden immunity idol clue together.

ADAM: Try and not to be seen by the rest of the group.

As long as nobody else knows, it should be good.

AK: That was when I knew it was time to get rid of the kingpin.

Oh boy.



Luke wants to create his own spy shack. He hides under a palm frond in the middle of the jungle near the water well. Or hide behind a single leaf.

Nobody. Slows. Down.

Jacqui turned fifty this year. She never thought she would be on Australian Survivor. Jacqui collects water with Henry.

JACQUI: I am fabulous and fifty and I am going to win.

Henry points out the idol clue under the lid of the water well.

JACQUI (Smeagle voice): OH MY GOD! IT’S A SCROLL!

Good thing Jacqui is with a selfless yoga instructor. He knows exactly what the clue is referencing. He finds a box on top of a branch in a tree. The Asaga coloured ribbon is on it. I am amazed nobody else hears Henry and Jacqui. The idol is theirs Henry’s. She is aligned with Henry now.

Henry says it is a big superfan moment for him. The idol goes straight into his crotch as he proclaims himself and Jacqui as the new power couple. Hey, folks, age is just a number.

NOTE: In the previous season, contestants were told by producers to not bother looking for idols and were discouraged talking about idols for the first two episodes. They said none would even be hidden. Clearly, that is not the same policy for this season.



Peter hates camping. The women hate rats and are not referring to AK. While they are building the shelter, they notice Adam going to The Island (a neat wrap-around island offshore in plain sight) where everyone watches Adam searching for the idol. It is so ridiculously obvious. The idol is underneath Adam’s knee, but he doesn’t see it. AK knows where Adam is looking and decides to join him.

The remaining tribemates argue over whether shelter or blocking AK from the idol is more important.

Adam casually gives up and retreats back to shore as AK heads to the island.

Adam rounds up his alliance.

ADAM: So I went to the island, and I’m going to be honest with you, I didn’t find it. I don’t have it. Yet. I’ll give you two choices. You can help me look for it if you wanna play with me. If you don’t, that’s okay, then Bugalugs will get it and find an idol.

The three women (Tara, Kate, and Ziggy) ask Adam if they all have to go with him to prove they are aligned. They are annoyed by Adam’s paranoia and ultimatum.

Tara tries to make it clear that Adam made it sound as an ultimatum as he backpedals.

KATE: It will be too obvious if all four of us were to go.

Adam looks disappointed. He rejoins the rest of the tribe as he shares the clue with EVERYONE except AK. It is either 11-1 or close to it.

Locky picks up the discarded Samatau ribbon and declares it is gone.

LOCKY: The clue was so easy to find. You couldn’t not find it.

They ask what they should do.

ADAM: Vote me out. It’s okay. I don’t mind.

LOCKY: That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I’m with you.

ADAM: No. Well, so what?

LOCKY: Well, then something’s up. What do you [Ziggy] make of it?

ZIGGY: The fact you just told us to put your name down makes you think you actually have it.

Adam realizes that everyone thinks he has an idol and suggests they still look for it. Locky and Ziggy aren’t interested. They know it’s gone.

ADAM: They think I have an idol, and that’s not good.

No kidding.

LOCKY: I feel like I am getting super played because nobody would ever say that.

Hopefully, Adam can apologize for panicking to his friends later on in the day and attribute it to the stress and adrenaline of the idol.

Otherwise, it is the biggest hero to zero moment for a reality TV contestant, and we’re not even talking about Andre & Damon.



Sarah describes the conditions as impossible because it is impossible to look for food or start a fire.

Mark H’s name is now Tarzan.

JLP: What has life been like at Samatau?

MARK H: Sh– …but we ain’t f–king quittin’. We’re looking for another night in this s–hole.

Well, that’s honest and transparent. Adam could learn a lesson from him.

Nine members will race through a series of obstacles. Mud pit, bamboo tunnel, and a brick wall. Then they will use a sledgehammer to pound in five pegs releasing a drawer containing war clubs. Use the war clubs to smash tiles. Once all tiles are smashed, immunity is theirs.

Tara is sitting out for Samatau as Ben chews his nails.

This swamp is nasty. AK and Ziggy are throwing the clubs for Samatau. Jacqui and Henry are throwing the clubs for Asaga as if they wanted to make their bond subtle.

Everybody is looking like Greek gods and goddesses purifying themselves before battle.

JACQUI: They all look naked.

That appears to be the theme of the episode.

Kent is physically struggling with climbing over the muddy beam then does a big face plant as he flops over. Ouch.

Mark H. is temporarily stuck in the mud.

Samatau completes the mud pit first.  Locky BULLRUSHES THE BAMBOO TUNNEL!

Asaga eventually completes the mud pit. They are not doing well with the bamboo tunnel. Luke and Mark W are doing a lot of the work.

Samatau is done the bamboo tunnel. Locky smashes through the brick wall in a single shot. My god. It truly is like he is from Ancient Greece. I think he just made a few people switch teams.

Both tribes eventually make it to the sledgehammer pegs. Each person can only do one peg. Poor Locky cannot be abused to take a huge lead. Peter and Anneliese are giving up some of the lead. You can tell Anneliese’s arms are burning.

Ben is mishandling the sledgehammer. He can’t hit the peg at all. Adam completes the final peg for Samatau. He has to be coached on how to open the drawer. Everyone is furious.

Ben eventually nails the third peg. Odette is on the fourth peg.

AK connects with the first club. Then he gets the second club. Then the third.

Kent is hitting the final peg.  He has a surprising amount of power. Then he has it. He also has to be coached on how to open the drawer. Why does everyone on the mat know how to open the drawer but never the person who is right there?

Samatau has three tiles left. Asaga has all six. Asaga is moving much faster. Henry hits one. Jacqui hits the second one.

Ziggy hits a tile but with not enough power. This could be fatal.

Jacqui hits a third tile. We’re tied. Henry hits a fourth. Nevermind. Not tied.

AK is slowing down and winding up before each toss. He stops to grieve over the lost lead.

Henry hits a fifth tile. Jacqui does a bounce hit to hit the final tile on the bottom. They hit three each. That made the difference.

Ziggy apologizes repeatedly in the aftermath. JLP invites over Jacqui. She really is fabulous and fifty.

JLP tells Samatau to get clean before coming to Tribal Council. Nah, just come to Tribal Council all muddy so JLP can’t tell you guys apart. That’d be a good troll job.

AK: I need Adam gone. I need to cut off the head of the snake.

What about the head of the dragon?


 DAY 6

Everyone cleans as Adam gives them an ultimatum to either clean up in the water or go look for the idol with him. Nah, just kidding.

Adam tells his alliance that he thinks his head is on the chopping block.

In the shocker of all shockers, this vote is coming down to Adam or AK. Anneliese thinks she is up for elimination, but I think she needs to turn her head towards the empty island and realize she is safe.


AK: It’s organized chaos.

AK pulls out his chicken idol and shows it to everyone.

ANNELIESE: It’s a rock. We don’t believe you, chicken boy.

She is so unimpressed.

TARA: Bokbokbok.

AIMEE: Mate, that’s a rock. He obviously doesn’t have an idol. Mate, AK thinks he is smart but you are a goose, mate. A goose!

Anneliese approaches AK.

I love how AK is twirling the string for the chicken idol on his fingers like it is a ball-in-the-cup.

AK tells Anneliese that Adam told him to vote her out.

ANNELIESE: I have been trying so hard to get Adam on-side. I even gave him a massage and he barely talks to me.

Anneliese and Aimee agree to vote Adam. Locky wants to vote Adam too. Jarrad and Peter are in the alliance too. Their contingency plan is voting Kate if an idol is played.

Anneliese, Aimee, and Locky agree they find the chaos to be fun.

That’s a good point. There isn’t any bad drama at camp. Everybody is respecting each other and having fun in this chaos.

Adam talks to Mark H and one of the other women who have had minimal airtime. Maybe Ziggy?

ADAM: I don’t give up.

Other than saying ‘vote me out’.

Adam says he hasn’t talked to Tara since his idol mishap.

ADAM: I don’t want to talk strategy with you …I want to apologize.

TARA: You had AK running around here like a lost chicken. You know, and I get it, he is an idiot.

So many chicken analogies for AK. I can’t figure out if AK has embraced this label yet.

With five minutes before Tribal Council, AK wants to deflect some votes. He talks to Jarrad. Jarrad tries to turn him away, but AK apologizes anyway.

JARRAD: You’re sketchy now, mate.

Now? Sketchy NOW?

JARRAD: You’ve given me too many weird messages, dude.

It’s like what an ex-girlfriend says to her ex who wants her back.

AK wants to fight tooth and nail. Like, the Idol Tooth and the Immunity Nail.

AK: I want to be remembered for playing big.

. . .For three episodes.

So it’s time for Tribal Council. Twelve people, their first vote, and somehow it will be messier than what we saw with Asaga yesterday.

Q&A time with JLP.

Aimee’s shirt is full of cats.

AIMEE: It’s constantly raining and we don’t sleep.

Unless you are Cyclone Joan.

Ziggy says trust is important and everything blah blah blah.

Tara expands upon the trust discussion.

TARA: Don’t get paranoid and flop around.

Flop around …like a whale? Or a chicken’s wings?

Tara says the paranoia is strictly with Adam and AK.

JLP: AK, Tara is saying you are quite paranoid.

AK: I haven’t been paranoid. I know what the reality is and I am on the bottom. I was going to look for the idol, but saw Adam on the island and definitely had the clue. The second I went over there Adam left. But I didn’t find one.

Mainly because Tai wasn’t there to offer Mark as a sacrifice for his safety.

Adam says AK is causing disharmony.

JLP: Aimee, do you think anyone else is playing as aggressive as [AK] is?

AIMEE: Kind of. Not chicken idol aggressive.

JLP: Wait. Wait a second. What’s a chicken idol?

Yes, chicken idol has become such a normal part of camp life that you forget people like JLP are so lost as to what the hell you are talking about.

AIMEE: That’s just a rock, dude.

AK: It was a brilliant idol.

Adam claims he was upfront with everyone and admits to sharing the idol clue with the people he trusted. Mark H shakes his head.

MARK H: You could have kept the clue for yourself and got it. That’s commendable of you, mate.

Was that sarcasm, Tarzan?

ADAM: I haven’t lied yet.

Phew. That’s a relief.

ADAM: Actually, there is one person I lied to was AK, and that was on day one. He wanted a twosome on the beach. That was aggressive of him, so I said yes.

At least AK knows to wait until day three or four to propose a threesome on the beach.

Anneliese has no idea what will happen and does not feel safe. She says her name is in play.

JLP: Really? It seems like it is all about these two.

ANNELIESE: But with chicken idols in play, you need contingencies and I am expendable.


JLP: It is time to vote.


What an odd piece of editing. Hilarious. I had to rewatch it twice. The Tarzan nickname needs to go.

Before Adam stands up to vote, he asks Tara, Ziggy, and Kate if they want to prove they are on his side before looking for the voting parchment or stay seated as AK will get to the voting parchment first.

Nah, just kidding.

Everyone votes in secret except AK and Kate.

AK: You think you are pretty smooth but you are probably still wearing a velcro wallet.


KATE: It was a fantastic chicken idol.

Compliments to the chef.

Why is the paper weight for the voting parchment look like the green icon from The Sim? I just noticed it. Has anyone else?

JLP asks if anybody has a hidden immunity idol or a live chicken they wish to behead and turn into an idol, it is time to play it.

We see AK reach into his bag and then COMMERCIAL BREAK. Damn you!

We resume. AK reaches into his bag.

AK: Jonathan. . .

TARA: Not the chicken.

AK: Some people might say this is a stupid move, and I have absolutely no regrets. I’d like to play that for Jarrad.

JLP (confused expression): . . .OK, I can confirm this is a real hidden immunity idol. Any votes cast for Jarrad will not count.

Jarrad is immediately interrogated. He is as confused as everyone else.

The chicken idol actually doesn’t look much worse than the real one.


SECOND VOTE: Anneliese 🙁






EIGHTH VOTE: ADAM (Eight of diamonds)

NINTH VOTE: Annalise



4-4-2-1. What a mess.


5-4-2-1. How the hell did Annaliese barely survive that? Why did AK play that idol for Jarrad? How the hell did Adam get himself voted out this round? How the hell did a guy with a chicken idol find the real one?

JLP talks about trust being a valuable currency. A currency which is not used on the beaches of Samoa.


Next Time: AK’s stock continues to rise, Sam and Mark W form a dangerous alliance. Henry turns on his own.

Adam said he needed to form blind trust with people and has no hard feelings towards AK. Some of the votes reveal the players talking about how they had a stronger social bond with AK compared to Adam.

ADAM: He needs to go or you are destined for doom.

I don’t think anybody takes AK seriously anymore, nor has any power. I think this quote alone at the end of his final words explains why Adam was voted out.

So let’s sum up why Adam went home.

1) Nobody else was taking AK seriously. In fact, they are so non-threatened by AK that they were okay with letting him claim an idol. It’s a very Russell Hantz-esque situation where Russell’s ridiculousness is so transparent and so overplayed that he is the perfect person to take to the end and beat. Just let him go wild and crazy and hope he is on your side as the chaos deflects attention off of you.

2) Too much strategy and not enough fun. Everyone knows AK is a buffoon. But the best part about it? AK knows it and was able to have fun with the others about it. The players let AK go off on his little imaginary chicken idol adventures like he is their ten-year-old nephew. Adam is like the older brother who whines, complains, and takes AK’s antics far too seriously to the point that it backfires on him. Just let AK play with his piece of coral, Adam.

3) If you are searching for an idol, don’t leave the spot where you think it is unattended when your biggest enemy is about to show up.

4) If your alliance is upset with you over a mistake you made, don’t wait until an hour before Tribal Council to apologize. I don’t know why he waited so long to talk to Tara. You’d be surprised how quickly people will get over things if you talk about non-game related stuff.

5) If you are receiving a shoulder massage, talk to them afterward to ensure they don’t join the majority to talk to you.


So now to our reader feedback. Since this is not Survivor NZ, more than seven people are reading this and will actually offer feedback. Let’s respond to it.

Mark Herrison (he has an accent above the ‘e’ in his name but can’t figure out how to do that on my keyboard) writes: “I hope you mention Australia’s problem with white washing television.”

My first piece of feedback of the season is about my thoughts on race in Australian media.

Boy, am I unprepared to field that question …but let’s go ahead.

As someone who has watched four or five seasons of Aussie Mole, two seasons of TARAus, and now 1 1/12 seasons of Aussie Survivor, there does seem to be a bit of a lack of diversity when it comes to Aussie reality TV. Or the seasons I have seen, anyway.

Upon a quick Google search, the White population in Australia is 75%. That would mean six of the twenty-four contestants on average should be a visible minority.

However, White people tend to apply for reality TV more frequently than minorities (for a few reasons that come to mind such as socioeconomic, cultural, and representative which is a really lengthy topic to jump into in one of Logan Saunders’ silly blogs) so we could drop that down to five if we played percentages that account for the country’s population and also the application ratio.

The only three people I can think of in this cast from the top of my head would be Jericho, Jarrad, and Cyclone Joan. Readers feel free to correct me on this.

Of course, that lack of representation will stir some controversy.

On the flipside, you have a show like Amazing Race Canada. Out of the 100+ racers to compete, three were born in the Congo. As someone who has lived in Canada their whole life, I have never met anybody personally who is Congolese-Canadian. We have also had Chinese born contestants and this season has a contestant who was born in Sarajevo. Oh, and a Nigerian-born father and daughter team from two seasons ago.

There have also been several racers from the LGBT community over the past five seasons.

In fact, some people from the Canadian LGBT community have been complaining that TAR Canada OVER-REPRESENTS the LGBT community on the show.

I think the question we need to ask ourselves is “What level of representation is high enough that it does not feel like an entire cast is being whitewashed in the mainstream media, but low enough to ensure we do not feel like “they are taking over?”

Who is the ‘we’ in that statement?

Who is the ‘they’ in that statement?

I have a feeling that answer is going to vary for every single individual. I mean, if the LGBT community cannot agree on appropriate representation in TAR Canada, I assume it would be equally complicated for minorities when discussing this subject in Australia.

And I should probably end the discussion there. Or do you really want a White Italian-Canadian telling everybody in Australia what their feelings on whitewashing in their media should be? Maybe Mark’s goal all along was to get me into trouble and have this Canuck’s blog shut down after two episodes.

So that does it! Kate is probably gone soon or Luke depending on which tribe goes to Tribal Council.

And have you noticed that every male contestant has had enough airtime to be memorable after two episodes, but it was a lot more time-consuming for me to look up which one was Tessa, Ziggy, Aimee, Michelle, or Sarah? I had to rewatch footage like three or four times before I was confident enough to type their name into this blog. I know most of the airtime has to be spent on the crazy men who have been losing their mind (or their shorts) during the first two episodes, but surely casting found twelve memorable women deserving of airtime, yes?

Peace out and just chill   …’til the next episode.

“Logan Saunders has finally recovered from his Snoop Dogg concert. Yesterday he found a dress shoe on the sidewalk near where he lives. The forest fires are refusing to stop in British Columbia as hundreds of evacuees currently occupy his town. His saddest moment yesterday was when he tried to buy a screamer (ice cream mixed with slurpee), but the self-serve ice cream machine was broken. He returned home with only slurpee in hand.”

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