Rob Has a Blogger: Why I’m Loving the New Troyzan

Richie Glanzer will be writing a blog all season long for Rob Has a Website as we continue to cover “Survivor: One World” from every conceivable angle. Click Here to Read more About Rich

Vinny Paps was not a friend of mine. (Last name hidden to protect his identity) We were in ninth grade at Valley Stream South High School on Long Island and Vinny often picked on me. Truth be told, he wasn’t a 1%. Many of my classmates picked on me. I was fat, had glasses, really messy hair, pretty unkempt and outside of Eugene, was the most unpopular kid in my grade. And the only reason Eugene was less popular than me was because he was from Russia. At least my asshole classmates were somewhat patriotic.

But while the Class of 1990 didn’t love me, the Class of 1989 respected me. I had some friends there and they respected me because I stuck up for myself. Yeah you could make fun of me, but if you did, there was a chance my fist was going to meet your face.

Vinny and I both delivered papers for Newsday and one day our animosity came to a head. He started picking on me in front of approximately 20 kids, the vast majority laughing at me. He challenged me to a fight and I said I couldn’t because it was a Jewish holiday. It was some small Jewish holiday but that had nothing to do with it. I was afraid. Finally Paps put his head down and said, “Glanzer, Glanzer, Glanzer…” and the next thing he knew he had spit in his hair and punches to his head. It was alls I could stands and I couldn’t stands no more.

The fight was on and I utterly destroyed this kid. Head, rib, head, rib, head, rib. His best offense was to try to smush my glasses when they dropped to the floor, but I kicked them over to the one person who was rooting for me and continued my assault. The fight was over in less than a minute and I rode off with the papers victoriously. THIS IS MY F’IN PAPER ROUTE!!!!

Vinny never bothered me again. By 12th grade we respected each other, but we never did become friends; just stopped being enemies.  Troyzan, you came to the game too late. Yeah, you beat up the girls, but while they may end up respecting you, they aren’t going to be your friend. At least not in the next 13 days.

Don’t get me wrong, you gave me one of my favorite episodes ever. I severely disliked you as a player, and thought everyone overrated you. (And I still think that; you were a horrible player up until last episode). But I love your competitiveness and though it took you 20-something days to wake up, you finally did. Your plan to bring in Leif, Tarzan, Christina and Alicia was so obvious and it obviously should have worked but for some reason Tarzan, Alicia and Christina are playing for fifth through seventh place.
People who don’t play Survivor will say you made a huge mistake by being rude and cocky to the girls. They will say even if you win all the immunities you won’t win in the end because of what an ass you were. And Troy, you were a huge ass.

And I loved every single moment of it! What those people don’t understand is, without that edge, you don’t win this challenge. Competitive people need an edge, and though you won’t win this season, you had an awesome Survivor Moment. And for that I tip my cap to you sir. You won my respect tonight, but not my Hero Award.
Richie’s Hero:

Alicia. No, just kidding of course. After I said Amber was a deserving champion, Rob C. sent me 17 letters demanding an apology and even forced me to get drug tested. He’s a pretty demanding boss. The hero this week and probably every week from here on in is Kim. I don’t like Kim, and its not just because  I’m supremely jealous. I’m pretty much jealous of anyone with hair. It’s that she’s the coolest cat in the room and she knows it, and flaunts it without actually flaunting it. In a secret scene, when she got back from Tribal Council, she told Troyzan that Jay told her that he had the idol. She told Troyzan that the women are pretty much sticking together. Troyzan respects the hell out of Kim and instead of cursing her out when he voted for her, he said what a great game she’s playing. This is going to be relayed to the jurors when he gets voted out next week.

And if you have the show on DVR, check out when Troyzan won. While Chelsea, Kat and Sabrina were all yelling back at Troyzan, Kim was playing with her hair (which really is the sole reason I hate her). She knows better than to make an enemy out of someone going to the jury. It’s one thing to lie and manipulate, that’s just part of the game, but there’s no reason to get someone angry on a personal level, and she understands that. Kim is now safe until there are five people remaining. The girls will have two chances to open their eyes and realize their biggest threat isn’t Troy or Tar Zan. It’s Kim.

Richie’s Heel:

Alicia, you blew it. You had your chance to take ownership of the game, and finally make a decision, and the decision you made is to follow Kim around like a lil’ puppy dog. And though I do like Christina as a person, and think she showed amazing grace during the Colton berating, I don’t understand why she didn’t go along with Troyzan’s math. She’s clearly at the bottom of the alliance, and she should have known better. If they go with the boys, they can totally sell to the girls at Final Tribal that they were at the bottom of their alliance, and that’s why they betrayed them. And I think at this point, all the girls really want a girl to win this season, even if they feel betrayed. And for future Survivor players, when four people are saying, “Oh no Jeff, no one knows who is ranked where in our alliance” at the same time, then you know they all are lying.
The reason Alicia gets my heel over Christina, is I think Alicia had more of a chance to win since she was in the original alliance of Kim/Kat/Sab/Chelsea.

Richie’s Thoughts:

Excluding dumb idols play, Tarzan is the worst player in Survivor history. He knows he’s targeted yet he still votes with the people that target him. It’s freakin’ crazy.
Gary Wise was on Rob’s podcast. Gary is a poker reporter. In poker, a bad beat is when you have a better hand when all the money goes in, and your opponent bucks the odds, and beats you. An example, I have pocket 10s, my not-so-smart brother has pocket 8s, he makes a really stupid call but an 8 hits, and he wins. That’s called a bad beat. When my brother hit the 8, I felt like the most unlucky guy in the world. All those bitter memories came back at me when Tarzan was bathing Leif. I mean we have Chelsea, Christina, Sabrina, Kim, Kat and Alicia, and you give us Tarzan and Leif????? WTF guys?!?!?!?!?

I love how the girls all scoff at Troyzan when he says they are afraid of him. Ummmmm you’re getting rid of all the guys and saying it’s because they can win all the immunities in a row is the very definition of fear. At least admit it. If I were a girl, I wouldn’t have wanted Tarzan to beat Troyzan, I would have wanted to do it myself. So don’t get all mad at the dude when he calls you out on it.

I know Kat has some ditzy moments, with math and body parts, but I still put her as a strong Survivor player. Evil Dick and Ryan Opray from Survivor Pearl Islands have called her a floater. I just don’t see it. She made an alliance from Day 1, it’s the most powerful alliance in the game. Why would she leave it and make a power move, when she already has power? In this one respect (don’t kill me damnbueno) she’s very much like Sophie Clarke. I think Kim deserves the win, but I would have no problem with Kat winning.

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