Welcome to WWE, Survivor style! I will be your host, Scottie the Body taking you through the first episode of Survivor. Fresh off the worst season of Big Brother in ten years, I’m excited for the Start of the Survivor season and I think the first episode did not disappoint. I don’t want to bring Big Brother into this blog too much, but obviously with the majority of that season filled with cast members that would have fit in with one of Leonardo DiCaprio’s dinner parties in Django Unchained, it’s nice to have some likable cast members for this season of Survivor, as CBS glances at Colton’s photo with target sign drawn on his face and a trained assign on call on the island if Colton has any “incidents” this season. CBS has filled this season with enough gimmicks and forced twist to make M.Night Shyamalan proud. This season of Survivor feels like the apex of WWE Wrestling, with all the colorful characters and all the twist’s and format changes to make any fan excited. I’ve decided to probably alienate any future readers I may have had by comparing all the pairs this season to former WWE wrestling pairs. Obviously some of the comparisons are going to be better than others and will probably run out of steam half way through the blog but, if you want to complain, I will drop a Brutus the Barber Beefcake sleeper hold on you!
Let’s introduce are pairs and get into the action!
Seriously, how great would it be if Jeff Probst came out every episode to that song with his Jeff Probst swagger he’s acquired over the years? I like how Jeff has become more of an agitator as the seasons have worn on. It will be weird the day Survivor is done for good and Jeff is playing the abusive husband with a double life in a Lifetime original movie. Until then, Jeff is the man you don’t piss off…ever!
The Bushwackers were honestly a really lame tag-team. They were very popular with a small fraction of the WWE fans, probably very similar to Rupert’s popularity now. The
Bushwackers were always around but never seemed to be serious threats to win any titles, again, like Rupert. Rupert within the first four minutes of the show has found himself in peril. If nothing else, he can hang his hat on the fact that he may have permanently damaged John and Candice’s relationship by volunteering to go to Redemption Island, while John did not. Laura gets a stay of execution with the vets winning the first competition, but will most likely be targeted the first opportunity the vets get at Tribal, unless someone gets frisky and attempts a Coup on a bigger target, which is doubtful in the early stages of the game. Rupert gets to play the role he was born to play, the martyr. Honestly, Rupert getting put in this position may be the best way for him to become more likable again, because to get back in the real game he is really going to have to earn it. I think a lot of us have been Rupert’d-out, but under this format Rupert will literally get his chance at redemption.
The Rockers were a young, hip (at the time) tag teams that featured one of the best wrestlers of all time in Shawn Michaels. Let’s start by thanking Candice and John for giving us the best moment of the episode, when Jeff gave John the opportunity to take Candice’s place at Redemptions Island. Every boyfriend and husband knew what thoughts were in Johns head and when Candice looked at John with a “ I’m going to half-heartedly agree to go to Redemption Island, but you’re going to man the F up and tell me no honey, I will go” look on her face, we thought he would do it. As a guy, you’re in a no win situation because you have to go take her place, even though you know it’s going to probably murder your game. The thing is, John didn’t do that. He immediately agreed with Candice’s fake offer to take one for the team and sent her away to her doom, which leads us to the biggest comparison with
The Rockers. The Rockers had one of the most unforeseen, traumatic breakups in WWE History when
Shawn Michaels turned on
Marty Jannetty, which is similar to what John did to Candice:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkVjgRSoz7k Do we think that Candice is already planned her exit strategy from John when they return home, focusing on where she will stay and what items she will take with her? John is in a good place in the game for now, as the males on the newbie tribe have banned together. John doesn’t have the “look” of someone that is going to make it to the end of the game, which would have been the only way to justify the move he made or didn’t make with Candice. For John to make it far in the game he is going to have to ride the coat tails of people that know what they’re doing, which his tribe lacks it appears. Basically, John needs to make it to the merge and hope a powerful Vet likes him enough to take him far in the game. The only hope for Candice is if she gets so enraged about John that she makes it her single purpose in life to win Redemption Island so she can knee him in the balls. John has taking the biggest roll of the dice ever, will it pay off?
The Heart Foundation featured WWE Hall of Famer,
Brett the Hitman Hart and
Jim the Anvil Hart. Basically this was a one man tag-team as
Brett Hart was a very good wrestler that was very popular with the fans and
Jim the Anvil sucked as a wrestler and has been forgotten by history. Until I see more from Vytas he is being regulated to the Jim the Anvil comparisons. It’s tough to tell after one episode, but Aras seems to be in a good position in the game as he is a strong competitor in physical competitions and plays a good social game. The focus of the episode appeared to take place on the newbie tribe, so we got to see their dynamics more than the veterans. Vytas it appears will role with Brad for the time being, which I think is a good strategy for now. Vytas does appear to have some street smarts in him, so how he will use those smarts will determine how well of a survivor player he is. Out of all the males on his team he seems like the most likely to maybe form an uprising if need be against Brad.
This short lived tag team featured one of the most hated wrestlers in history in the
Honky Tonk Man. His partner was
Greg “The Hammer” Valentine.
The Honky Tonk Man always cheated in his match’s, usually hitting someone with his guitar while the referee was knocked unconscious or distracted. Colton gets the part of the
Honky Tonk Man as he enters this season as probably the most unlikeable out of everybody playing this season. This episode spent some time showing Colton trying to rehab his image from the last time he played, with Colton telling us how he has grown as a person, but then the preview for the next episode showed him throwing all that out the window as that evil glimmer entered his eyes and he talked about wanting to upset the heard. The other Vets seem to know Colton isn’t exactly someone you trust, so it will be interesting to see what happens if the Vets have to go to tribal counsel, as I don’t see Colton having the power he did the first time he played the game. If Colton starts acting up, I can see the Vets sending him to Redemption Island early on in the game. Caleb seems like a decent enough dude. I’m sure it’s tough that he has to deal with what appears to be a homophobic tribe mate in Brad. Caleb doesn’t seem like your typical survivor contestant, he just seems very vanilla. Obviously I’ve seen only one episode so I might be totally wrong about Caleb, but he just seems like a normal man that has an unmanageable boyfriend. It will be interesting to see next episode where Caleb’s head is at in the game and who he is wanting to align with(other than just the men).
Tina and Katie?[/caption]
- Tina and Katie introduced as The British Bulldogs.
Obviously there are not a lot of physical comparisons between the two pairs, but there are some similarities in that both pairs are seen as nice, good natured people, very loyal to one another and fan favorites. Tina still seems to have some “love” from survivor fans after all these years and based just on this episode (small sample size) it appears that Tina will be in position to make another deep run in the game(except I see another destiny for Tina). Katie on the other hand may be drawing dead if she can’t make it to the merge, as the men seem to be willing to pick off the women on their tribe for the time being. I would wager my non-profit/social worker salary(which is embarrassingly low, seriously, I have a friend who sells advertising to golf courses and make quadruple what I make helping kids get off drugs, but I’m not bitter ;)) that Tina will sacrifice herself if Katie gets sent to Redemption Island. I think Tina wants this for her daughter more than she does for herself. If Katie does make it to the merge, I can see this duo making a deep run as Tina has one of the better social games out of this cast and could potentially carry her daughter far in the game. Both of this duo’s fates rest on Katie making it to the merge.
The Nasty Boys were very outspoken and not well liked by their fellow wrestling compadres.
The Nasty boys talked trash even when they were doing horribly in a match. Gervase inexplicably talked trash after the Vets won the first competition and earned the scorn of everybody from the newbies tribe even though he almost went into cardiac arrest during the comp. I had the honor of joining Rob and other fellow bloggers on his podcast this week
robhasawebsite.com/survivor-blood-vs-water-blogger-season-preview-roundtable/, I was in the minority with not being that excited about Gervase coming back to play this season. It’s not like I hated Gervase or anything like that, I just don’t remember him being that compelling of a player, like I haven’t been dreaming about seeing him play the game the past 13 years or anything. It would be like Mallory’s boyfriend Nick from Family Ties showing up on the new Michael J Fox Show, it would be cool for a second but it’s not like America has been clamoring for it. (In doing “research” for this blog I stumbled upon this beauty: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vq9-ZBvkfz0
Seriously, did you know they freaking made a spin off for NICK!! I have no memory of this whatsoever and I remember everything, seriously, stop what you’re doing right now, put your hands on your lap, close your eyes and meditate that they made a spin off TV Show for Mallory’s boyfriend called “
The Art of Being Nick”…wow……) Anyway, Gervase may have had one bad day and will play the rest of the game more humble and controlled, but if not it could be an early exit for him, as clearly he is not the same physical player he once was. It will be interesting to see how Gervase fits in with the vet tribe as we really did not get a good picture of their dynamics this episode. Marissa sadly had to pay for the sins of her uncle and is now knocking on death’s door. Will Gervase take her place? I would guess not.
One of thee most hated yet likable villains of all time, The Million dollar Man. I think this might be my favorite comparison. Tyson is someone I really enjoy watching play Survivor. He is good at competitions and he plays his social game with a wolf-ish smile at all times. Again, we didn’t see a lot of the Vet’s camp this episode so we don’t know how Tyson is going to play this season, but I would guess he makes it pretty far. Tyson’s problem in the past is that he would always appear to lose focus in the game at the worst possible times. He famously screwed himself in Hero’s vs. Villains by not listening to the best player of all time Boston Rob(Ya I said it) by forgetting to vote strategically. Consider me #TeamTyson for this season though, as no matter what he is always entertaining. As far as Rachel goes, she is like the body guard Virgil, very quiet and we don’t know much about her. I have no idea how to speculate how she will do in this game, because she seems pretty passive on a tribe with a few outspoken alpha dogs. If her tribe loses again this week she could be in danger if the guys stick together.
- Laura and Ciera introduced as Demolition!!(because I couldn’t find a good comparison so I went with the most extreme, absurd tag team for them to be compared to) One of the better moments of this episode were the daughters squaring off with the mothers on the puzzle, with Ciera claiming beforehand that she is better than her mother at doing puzzles, then promptly losing the comp because she was not better than her mother at doing puzzles. Laura in her season pretty much got “Hantz’d” and then joined the bitterest jury in the history of Survivor when they stuck their collective middle fingers at Russell Hantz and gave the game to a player who didn’t have a pulse for the majority of her season. Laura is a strong competitor, which should ensure her safety early on in the game. Ciera, like every other female on her tribe could be in trouble when her tribe loses again. I could see Laura taking Ciera’s place at Redemption, and would take her over most of the players this season in the Redemption Island competitions.
I choose one of the most beloved and successful tag teams of all time for Kat and Hayden, because these two are my favorites to win this season, actually Hayden is my pick to win, Kat……not really. I’m a homer, so sticking with my Big Brother roots, I think Hayden has to be one of the favorites this season. If you didn’t catch his season of Big Brother, then you missed seeing Hayden blend an overpowering physical game with a flawless social game. I don’t see why he can’t do the same thing in Survivor. The truly physical dominating players in survivor don’t seem to make it to the finals that much, but I would say that most of those players lacked a smooth social game, which I don’t think is the case with Hayden. So, just to summarize because I don’t think I’ve been clear, I think Hayden will do well this season. Kat is tough to predict because in her season she was aligned with one of the most dominating forces in Survivor history in Kim Spradlin. I think Kat will be one of the stronger female players on her tribe and will therefore be safe for the short term. I don’t see Kat or Hayden willing to sacrifice themselves for the other at Redemption Island.
(I will give you a minute to compose yourself and wipe your tears away because that video is emotional) This is a hard one for me, because Macho Man is my all-time favorite wrestler (for you 2 WWE fans reading this can you believe Macho is not in the WWE Hall of Fame!? Seriously Koko B Ware is in the Hall of Fame but the most iconic wrestler next to Hulk Hogan isn’t?) and I’m not sure how I feel about Brad yet. Brad probably had CBS hovering over the edit switch on the control board with some of his conversations this episode. He has decided to make himself the Alpha leader on his tribe, which probably will spell doom for him sometime in the next few weeks. Another thing about Brad is that I consider myself the biggest sports fan in the Robhasawebsite universe (and will challenge anybody to a sports trivia contest!) but I’ve never heard of Brad before this show. I feel like he carries himself like he’s Joe Montana and expects that everybody out there is going to treat him as such. I don’t see a bright survivor future for Brad. Monica like Miss Elizabeth brings a certain amount of grace and class to the game. I feel like I should be rooting for her to have a more successful game this time around. I think it would be awesome if she can be the one to orchestrate Colton’s demise as he got her last time they both played the game. It will be very interesting to see what happens if/when Monica gets sent to Redemption to see if Brad will switch places with her. If I had to bet on it, I would say he will take her place, but what do you guys think?
After one episode it’s tough to get a good feel on the dynamics of both tribes other than the females appearing to be in trouble on the newbie tribe. Like any good Wrestling match were in store for some good ebbs and flows, with some good old fashion backstabbing. I expect that next week we all will have a better feel for how the early part of this season will unfold, until then let’s sit back and enjoy the other 24 survivor blogs on this website !!!
Tina and Katie?[/caption]
