This season, the RHAP bloggers are squaring off against Inside Survivor, Reality Blurred, and True Dork Times to find out once and for all which is the greatest Survivor writing site on the internet.
The Test: Predict how each juror will vote at Final Tribal Council.
(NB: Some promos have revealed details about the finale. We will not be using this information, and we request that you do not discuss it in the comments.)
- One point will be allotted for each correct vote.
- No spoilers! We will be using only our powers of perception, logic, and sheer intelligence.
Now that I put it like that, I’m not so sure this is a good idea, but we already made our predictions, so onwards to our
eternal shame certain glory!
I polled the blogging team (Catherine Lucas, Christine Larivière, Dan Heaton, Michel Trudeau, Scott Gallagher, and myself) and the results had Cydney and Tai being the last two jurors (in the event of an F3, Tai will make it to Final Tribal Council).
Sarah says: Neal’s question might be anything: “What was your big move?” “Pick a number between one and ten.” “What are your opinions on LGBTQ issues?” “Does this bow-tie make me look fat?”
There will be only one correct answer: “Yes, Neal, you would have won.”
Neal will vote for: Aubry
Christine & Michel say:
Nick in an italic—Italian accent: How you doin’? If you win the million, will you marry me?
Tai: No, no, no, no, NO.
Aubry: If our signs are compatible.
Michele: I don’t need to be married, bro.
Neal: Did I mention I already made a million dollars? Honest!
Nick will vote for: Michele
Catherine says: Debbie’s extensive experience in the entertainment industry has prepared her for this. She will give an amazing speech, juggling the entire time. She’s going to be the star of the final tribal council, and she’ll vote for Aubry, her friend since the start.
Debbie will vote for: Aubry
Dan says: Scot is the juror most likely to pull a half-Murphy. He glares at the players during Tribal Council and seems unamused by their success. He clashed with Michele over the sabotage, and they were never close allies. Yet he targeted Aubry out of respect, not personal anger. Aubry was Scot’s direct competitor on the opposing team, and she beat him. A former NBA player can respect that.
Scot will vote for: Aubry
Michel says: Julia will stand, face the Final 2 and pontificate: “This season proved that survival was a key component of the game and, in order to survive, you have to know how to use every resource available. So, did you eat Mark?”
Julia will vote for:
Michel says: Jason will turn to Michele and ask: “Have you ever been blonde in your life? You sure acted like a dumb blonde when you decided not to go with me and Julia, and now you’ve lost my vote. Good luck, Aubry.”
Jason will vote for: Aubry
Christine says: Joe will return to interrogation mode for Michele: “What strategic moves have you made?” Michele will give her regular spiel on not making waves and playing under the radar. Joe will fire back that that means you make an undetected move, not wait to be shot like a sitting duck.
As Good Cop, he’ll tell Aubry she played a good game.
Joe will vote for: Aubry
Sarah says: As somebody who’s used to competition, it’s very possible that Cydney will approach her jury duty with professional good sportsmanship. To which we say: “We can’t go to no Final Tribal Council with no damn Rebecca.”
Let’s hope Storm’s a-coming.
Cydney will vote for: Michele
IN THE EVENT OF A FINAL TWO:
Catherine says: Tai will cry. Guaranteed.
Then he’ll ask each finalist what the game has taught them. Michele will have learnt that she is a strong, independent woman. Aubry will tell Tai that she learnt to listen to her heart, which will resonate with Tai. He’ll cry again, and vote for her.
Tai will vote for: Aubry
Congratulations, Aubry Bracco! No need for your horoscope this week, because we are predicting all the gourmet coleslaw you can eat. (And when are we ever wrong?)
So now that we’ve put our reputations on the line, comment below or use #JuryJeopardy on Twitter to tell us how we got it wrong. Or just cheer on the site of your choosing. (That’s us, right? Right??)
Don’t forget to check out the ridiculous assertions of our competition:
Andy Dehnart at Reality Blurred
Jeff Pitman and Pat Ferrucci at True Dork Times