Australian Survivor

Australian Survivor: That’s the Way the Samatau Crumbles

Logan Saunders breaks down Episode 5 of Australian Survivor and objectively comments on Aimee’s case of sexually assaulting a comedian. You can also find Logan ranking seasons of The Amazing Race over at TARRankdown.

Australian Survivor: That’s the Way the Samatau Crumbles


Previously on Australian Survivor: A moral dilemma tested loyalties. Farmer Tarzan chose firewood for his tribe. But flight attendant Jericho chose cookies for himself.

When Samatau lost immunity for the third time running, Doctor Tessa was the tribe’s target but Tarzan had other ideas. He gave his immunity idol to Tessa and trusted AK with a bold plan.

But come Tribal Council, AK had his own agenda sending Tarzan home. A guy who has the exact same nickname as me.

Twenty are left; who will be voted out tonight?



Sala sits in a corner wondering if he voted off the right person at Tribal Council that night.

Just kidding.

Everyone observes the fire is still going. Thank you, Tarzan.

Tessa is sad to see Tarzan go. He was her last friend.

TESSA: I need something to happen. Whether it’s a rift within that group or another idol or I am seriously still next to the slaughter.

Another idol it is!

AK sees a rat scurry across camp. It begins to rain. He hugs Tessa as he is aware he is on the bottom. AK is ready to jump the gun before the alliance makes plans together.

AK: I know everyone is playing the game but I think they are playing the game within their little comfort bubble. I am willing to push the limits because I know me playing comfortable will not get me to the end. So I am going to push me as far as I can and hope it can get me to the end.

Man, five episodes in and that entire eight-person on Samatau minus AK and Jarrad have taken an absolute beating in the editing suite.

Intro time.



         Ziggy              Locky       Anneliese



          Tara              Jarrad        Tessa–Somehow not gone



        Aimee            Peter                AK



         Michelle     Sarah            Henry



         Ben                Mark W           Clark



      Odette           Jacqui           Jericho



      Samantha       Luke

asagaNIGHT 11

Jericho is still eating the damn cookies. I think the cookies have received more airtime than Odette, Michelle, and Sarah combined.

Jericho eats the cookies on the beach. He finds it boring to have it by himself. He and Luke share it on the beach. Half of the urn is still left, and you know Jericho hasn’t been pacing himself.

The Elmo and Cookie Monster continues. Both laugh on the beach and make monster poses. Luke is too loud as Samantha and Mark W wake up. Jericho and Luke panic, but Samantha and Mark W go back to sleep.

Actually, do we need to call him Mark W? Mark H is gone. Now he can just be Marky Mark.

JERICHO: To win the war, I have to recruit more.

Man, Jericho’s cookie appeasement is being taken way too far.

Jericho lets Sarah in on the Cookie Conspiracy. Sarah refers to them as magical cookies. This is their best reward yet.

JERICHO: For me, I wanted to share this. . .my cookie with someone. . .and I feel like you and I don’t really like scheme. I don’t really feel we both like. . .

SARAH: We don’t need to.

Man. I know what I am doing on my next first date. Just bring a pack of Chips Ahoy and she’ll be flattered.

SARAH: I’ll take what I can get.

Sounds like my dating life motto.

SARAH: Jericho could only tell one person about which was obviously me.

So here we go. Jericho has lied about the rules to the cookie urn to two people now. He told Henry there was only two cookies apiece and now told Sarah that only one other tribemate is allowed to know.

Jericho is d***ing around with everybody, and it is hilarious. I don’t think he can win based on how much he is overplaying these cookies, but Jericho’s downfall will be a spectacular one.


DAY 12

Tessa is on the bottom. Locky, Tara, and Aimee are on top and Anneliese is being strung along. Remember that? They go fishing with a dragnet.

Tessa says Aimee is not a game player.

There is a huge rat behind the bag of rice.

AK comments on how Locky is the leader of the tribe. A storm is coming. I mean, an actual storm is hitting the Samatau camp.

Ziggy, AK, and Jarrad are a solid group of three and talk about using Tessa. Well, now they just need one more.

AK is upfront with Tessa that he wants to use her as a shield. Since nobody else wants to use Tessa through any means at all, Tessa has no choice but to accept the flattering role of being a shield.

Blah blah more strategy talk.



JERICHO: Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

Has there been a scene with Asaga for the past two episodes that does NOT involve the cookies?

For those keeping track at home, this is the third night in a row that they are on the beach eating cookies.

JERICHO (disappointed): It’s just the crumbs.

I guess. . .I guess that’s the way the cookie crumbles!

Jericho and Luke shove their hands into the urn for the meager crumbs. They lift up the urn like it is Simba being born in the Lion King.

JERICHO: I want to make the last crumb memorable.

Man, they really are bored for entertainment at the beach.

Luke suggests they sprinkle the final crumbs on the players while they sleep.

JERICHO: This game comes with risk. And that’s what I love. I love playing with fire.

Jericho, sure enough, sprinkles the final crumbs all over a couple of the players in the shelter.

JERICHO: Who knew you could do so much with a jar of cookies.

Editors didn’t know that either. Does anybody have an exact running time on the Jericho and The Cookie Monster subplot? That’s one way to pass the time when Asaga isn’t going to Tribal Council.


DAY 13

Because Tarzan is gone, the fun has been sucked out of Samatau. It’s strategy strategy strategy as AK pretends to strategize with Locky and relays him false information.

LOCKY: Obviously I am going to tell AK The Master Strategic Person that I fully trust you and do whatever you want. I trust Tara way more than AK.

Fear The Chicken Idoler.

Locky tells Tara that AK wants to work with him and Aimee. Tara thinks she is the target from AK’s end but isn’t worried.

TARA: AK is a mastermind at this game. . .He has this huge plan that is five steps ahead of whatever we are thinking.

That might be a bit too soon for that label.

Aimee and Tara talk about how AK is smart. AK joins them right on cue and wants them to stay together. Tara’s eyes are on AK.



It looks like the location of last season’s Final Immunity Challenge is being reused. Kent hobbles over the rocks. They are stunned Tarzan was voted off.

JLP asks Peter what it feels like to lose three in a row. Peter thinks they are still strong. OK.

For today’s challenge, everyone will line up side by side in a human chain holding up discs between each person. The last tribe to hold a single disc between any two people wins immunity.

A simple but unique challenge.

Luke asks if Kent’s arms will stay up. Kent says his swimming abilities will prevent his arms from being tired out. I agree.

Ben and a sugar-free Jericho opt to sit out. Ben sure sits out a lot. Young boy needs more confidence in his abilities!

A challenge requiring pure upper body endurance is a surprising one to see two young men sit out.

Feet must stay flat and legs must stay straight.

So here is how the lineup looks.



JLP reveals the positions were completely randomized. I don’t know how I feel about that choice being taken out of the tribe’s hands.

Mark W and Samantha’s height difference is ridiculous.

Sarah tells Kent she has to drop their disc. JLP notes Luke is struggling.

LUKE: What?! I could go to sleep standing here!

Peter and Anneliese blatantly drop their disc. Mark and Sam lose their disc. Sam is already out.

Sarah and Michelle lose their disc.

Locky asks Jarrad to push.

JARRAD: But you’re on the bottom!

In more ways than one if what AK says is true!

Michelle is out of the challenge. Odette is out. Jarrad is out.

Kent and Henry look so uncomfortable.

Tessa says she is doing fine. Locky is not. He has to drop out.

Aimee and Tara are gone. Lots of discs are flying.



Anneliese is gone.

It’s just Ziggy the Olympian and AK left for Samatau.

Twenty minutes in.

Luke’s wrist is upside-down. Henry and Mark are in the bro-iest high five I have ever seen.

LUKE: Four in a row! Give up! Please! Please give up!

JLP says the Olympian and couch potato are working well together.

Luke is gone.

It’s now Henry and Mark versus Ziggy and AK.

Twenty mintues quickly becomes an hour. Ziggy and AK readjust. Their hands are high.

More time passes. It is 90 minutes. Henry and Mark maintain their high five. Now they start doing arm presses to taunt AK and Ziggy.

The rain and wind REALLY pick up. Balancing on the rocks as the salt hits everyone’s eyes is becoming tougher than the challenge itself.

Ziggy and AK lose the paddle. AK kicks the post next to him.

Asaga wins their fourth immunity in a row! Taking reward out of the rotation didn’t screw anything up.

JLP: Henry, Mark, Ziggy, and AK, you outlasted everyone by a factor of five.

Jacqui and Tessa must be pissed that their efforts weren’t recognized.

AK looks even more pissed when JLP reveals the statistic.

Henry takes immunity–you know, the guy who didn’t want immunity two rounds ago.

JLP quizzes AK on his thoughts after lasting an hour and forty-five minutes.

Jarrad whispers to Tessa while the tribe is huddled on the mat.

JARRAD: Let’s make a move tonight.

That’s a ballsy move when everyone is within earshot. Somehow the microphone picks it up but not the other tribe members.

This isn’t like an Ulong or a Matsing where only a loss or two is close. ALL four losses have been insanely close. Brutal brutal brutal.


DAY 13

Everyone comments on their losing streak and how it will be 11 vs. 8 after TC.

TARA: We all agree that Tessa is the easy vote tonight.

But does this tribe ever do easy, Tara?

AK repeats for the fifth time this episode that he is on the bottom of the eight. He wants to make a move tonight.

Oh! A huge lobster crawling on the beach!

AK whispers to Tessa that it needs to be Aimee. He wants Locky out, but they need physical strength for challenges (although Locky didn’t do anything in today’s challenge).

Tessa hopes AK means what he says.

Locky says it was a “sh-tty” challenge. Well, because he sucked at it.

AK thinks Peter is noticing his buddy Tara is moving closer to Tara. That’s his target for the fifth vote.

Jarrad sneaks off with Peter.

AK: That’s good because Jarrad has a softer approach with people than I do.

In other words, Jarrad is better socially.

Peter thinks it is dangerous to have Locky, Aimee, and Tara all together and Aimee is going along with it as Tara and Locky are calling the shots.

JARRAD: You reckon? I thought you and Tara are tight.

Love Jarrad’s passiveness.

Peter tells us he wants Tara to work with him rather than using him as a number.

PETER: I love Aimee, but the thing with Aimee is she’ll do whatever Locky does.

JARRAD: Aimee does make sense.

PETER: Let’s do that.

Well played, Jarrad. This guy is good. He got what he wanted from the conversation all along.

Everyone is eating their beautiful rice. Tara realizes Tessa is beside her as she sits with Locky, Jarrad, and Aimee.

Tara tells Tessa to vote against AK. She thinks this will be a prime opportunity to eliminate AK. Oh, the camera pans to Peter and Anneliese being a part of this conversation too.

It makes us wonder where the hell AK is when eight people are on the beach eating rice without him.

TARA: He’ll never even see it coming!

The vote is now between Tara and AK. Peter realizes nobody suspects he is playing this game (I mean, everybody is playing, but we know what he means).

Tara instructs Aimee and Locky that they must blindside AK.

Locky pulls Anneliese aside and says they must vote out AK.

LOCKY: Tess has had so many bloody lifelines in this game.

TARA: I think if she’s that desperate …What do people do when they’re desperate? They’ll do whatever you tell them to do.

Too bad there are other people on the bottom who are equally as desperate as Tessa.

TARA: I made the biggest move yet. I’m not afraid to say I don’t like AK. From day one I said he got to go. And today is the day. It will be a blindside. It will be torture for him.

It’s probably torture for Tarzan’s fans who wish he had hung onto that idol and would have been in this position instead of AK.






JLP asks AK about his emotions.

Locky knows AK and Ziggy gave it all they had and is proud of them.

JLP: It’s true. You went up against two boys who spent a lot of time at the gym.

What about Ziggy? Where’s Ziggy’s praise?

AK says Henry is his kryptonite after going head-to-head in four challenges. He isn’t surprised he did well because he has mental endurance and mental toughness.

JLP asks Tessa if Tarzan’s words about it being a tight eight is still true. Tessa dodges the question by saying she is frustrated and will not lay down and die.

JLP: Are you in trouble?

TESSA: I am always in trouble, Jonathan.

In the words of Family Feud, good answer.

Jarrad says the eight must stay strong.

JLP asks AK if there is disloyalty in the eight.

AK: I don’t think there is. As far as I know, the vote is going one way. If the vote isn’t going that way I’ll be extremely shocked.

Meanwhile, all eight know there is not a strong eight as all eight are not voting Tess.

JLP: Aimee, with a strong eight, is tonight’s vote pretty easy?

AIMEE: I think we originally thought it was but there was never a strong eight.

JLP (double take): Did I miss something? Last Tribal you said you guys were rock solid.

AIMEE: Eh, that was a couple days ago. . .within the eight, people talk.

Anneliese’s eyes are bulging. JLP sees this too. She thinks she was stoic with her reaction, but JLP says they were coming out of her head. Locky is hiding his laughter. Tara’s jaw is open.

AIMEE: There can’t always be eight of us.

Locky knows they have to cut people either now or later.

AK: As far as I am concerned, there is eight and there is nine of us here tonight. So it should be relatively simple vote.

TARA: I don’t want to sound like an old mother, but as much as I love everyone and stick with everyone as a big happy family, you can’t have an eight alliance. You’ve got to somehow get down to a place where you are comfortable with a smaller alliance. I don’t see the difference in doing it today or tomorrow–

TESSA: I see the difference, Tara.

TARA: Oh, do you?

Tara doesn’t sound like an old mother–she sounds like a bad mother. Wait. That’s Shaft.

JLP asks Tessa if her loyalty is up for grabs.

TESSA: Loyalty is what got me here into the first place. I haven’t done a disloyal thing yet. My loyalty is very much up for grabs to the first whisperer to reach my ear.

JLP questions Aimee about loyalty.

Peter says the vote is easy. Jarrad’s head slumps. Anneliese thinks the vote is easy too. AK says Aimee has put worry in his mind but will stick to what he said he is going to do.

Time to vote.

TARA (writing down AK): I have been waiting a really really long time to write this.

It’s only been 13 days.

AK (writing down AIMEE): You got yourself into a power couple without even knowing it.

JLP goes to count the votes.

AK plays an idol for Ziggy. Nah, just kidding. Three idols in a row would be insane.



Tara grins.


FOURTH VOTE: A.K. (drawing of a chicken)


Locky and Tara are confused.



Did she spell her name out loud?


Tara shaking her head. AK grinning.


Anneliese’s jaw drops.

AIMEE: Spewing!

Aimee received almost no airtime until Tribal Council. In fact, Aimee only had airtime at various Tribal Councils. How tragic.

AIMEE: Bye Jono!

Since when was an early boot from TAR Australia 3 in this cast?

I will be amazed if Samatau can win a challenge.


Next Time on Aus Survivor: AK takes control at Samatau. And the game gets real at Asaga.

Aimee is flabbergasted. She was blindsided while blindsiding somebody else.

PETER: I love you but you are in Locky’s pocket which makes it hard to work with you.

She had a ripping time.

AIMEE: First thing I look forward to when I get home is a pot in the palm from the local pub.

What? Is that slang for beer?


What?! An eight-person alliance wasn’t willing to stick together pre-merge?

Tessa didn’t even receive a vote this Tribal Council. Hell, I don’t know if Tessa will even receive a vote at the next one. Samatau has always been one confusing mess.

What makes Samatau unconventional is that the most likable people, AK, Tarzan, and Tessa, were the ones viewed as overstrategizing and/or ended up on the outside. Meanwhile, the players not quite as likable but were playing a level game were within the majority.

Therefore, people in the middle were more willing to make that jump, and in the words of Tum-Tum in 3 Ninjas Kick Back, it was always a SCRAMBLE!

I don’t think AK will last much longer. Not just because he has dominated the airtime, but I don’t think any members of Asaga will think too highly of him if we ever get a switch/unmerge in the near future. Remember the scene where AK tried to strategize with Henry prior to the waterslide? I guarantee you Henry told at least one person about that exchange, if not the whole tribe.

Why couldn’t Tara, Locky, Anneliese, and Aimee get Tessa on their side? Well, the others in the alliance reached out to Tessa a lot more before this episode. Locky and Tara were pretty upfront with Tessa in past rounds that they weren’t going to work with her. Why, Tara said she skipped out on talking to Tessa for a whole day because of the fight at Tribal Council–which is very fitting because that is exactly what Adam did to Tara which led to Tara flipping against him.

You have to love these repeating cycles in Survivor.

I wish I could comment on Peter and Tara’s relationship. This episode AK and Jarrad kept going on about how Peter and Tara were a tight pair, and then Peter said Tara was drifting away from him and into Locky’s pocket. However, how the hell are we supposed to know that when we don’t see the relationship play out on screen in the first four episodes?

PETER: Tara is more interested in Locky and Aimee.


So we’ll just have to take Peter’s word for it that this is what indeed transpired.

As for what could happen to Samatau next round? Well, if they lose again Locky will be valued even more and Tara is pretty much screwed. Unless the minority finds the idol for the third time in five Tribal Councils, of course.

I assume Samatau loses next round because we haven’t had ANY footage on Asaga for two episodes straight except for Jericho’s cookies. Next week, there is a tease that somebody gets hurt or evacuated. Something tells me Jericho will be involved. After eating all of those cookies, he is both happy and angry.

At this point, I think the women have finally started to receive a bit more airtime than the female contestants in Mountain Dew Survivor. Ziggy was mentioned a few times this round but didn’t really receive any confessionals herself. There’s also Odette, Sarah, and Michelle. Odette’s hair alone should have at least one confessional by now.


AimeeAnd now to Aimee.

The second woman eliminated in a row who did not receive much airtime before being voted out. There has been a helluva lot more focus on Anneliese, Locky, and Tara in her alliance, but yet she is the one who goes home.

I know people will think she was dumb and/or stupid for tipping their hand against a guy who already found an idol and who they were trying to blindside this round, but something tells me everybody knew Tessa wasn’t the real target. Aimee just wanted to have some fun with it and see AK squirm. Aimee truly believed the numbers were on her side.

Furthermore, Locky and Tara are much bigger names in her alliance. I don’t think Aimee even ran the scenario that if anybody decided to overthrow the alliance, she would be the target.

I am curious if Aimee would have been spared if she spent more time with the other people in the tribe rather than being glued to Locky and Tara as was portrayed. Hell, she might have been approached with the plan and likely send Tara home.

And things didn’t get much easier for Aimee after being voted out. I have been circulating the message boards this week, and we have another lovely topic on our hands.

Last week I had to discuss white-washing in reality TV.

This week we get to discuss sexual assault. Specifically, Aimee sexually assaulting a comedian.

I intentionally left this at the end of the blog for this week because for those of you have no desire to read about sexual assault, well …this would be the time to exit the page. We pretty much have to cover it because it is directly tied into Aimee’s legacy on Australian Survivor.

Alright, a few media outlets and superfan message boards have been talking about this over the past few days, and as can be expected, many of these discussions got heated.

Aimee went to a comedy show a couple of years ago. When fans were allowed to take pictures with the comedian at the end of the show, Aimee was dared to pose with the comedian by grabbing his crotch.

She did it and Aimee still has the photo on her phone. Security threw her out, and the comedian blocked her on social media.

Well, Aimee gets voted out this week and guess who is one of the people conducting her exit interview? Yep, that very same comedian.

Because it was a woman groping a man, the discussions were a bit more tricky to navigate.

People who pointed this out were responded to with “If he had groped her, you would say she was overreacting”.

Well, we don’t know that. The people who brought up this incident may be equally offended if a man groped a woman, a man groped a man, a woman groped a woman. Otherwise, they are an asshole.

Then there were the detractors saying “He probably liked it”.

Ummmmmmm, security removed Aimee and he blocked her on Facebook. I don’t think he liked it.

The discussion gets a bit trickier for people to grasp because not only is it a woman groping a man, but a no-named woman groping a famous man. If it was the other way around, you essentially have a Bill Cosby situation here.

Clearly, sexual assault is wrong. Of course, classifying this as sexual assault may be a hefty label for some people because of what our brains typically associate sexual assault with when somebody uses this term, and nobody really associates a woman in her early 20s who has a cartoon-y catchphrase of “spewin!” as the perpetrator with it. But yes, this would indeed be sexual assault.

From personal experience, when I was in high school, I was groped by a female student, and we didn’t talk for over a year. I can tell you that not only is there the added emotion and stress that comes with being in high school, but it was something really hard to talk about publicly or with other friends because of, well, the exact same reaction I am seeing in this situation.

Now to the part about the whole Aimee scandal that I feel is being blown out of proportion. People were labelling this as “The comedian had to suffer through facing his attacker for the first time since the sexual assault trauma” and “He had no choice but to conduct that interview!”

  1. a) We don’t know if the comedian still has any trauma from the incident. He conducted the interview. He was friendly with her. They were making jokes. Nothing in the interview indicates he is still upset about it or he is dealing with any trauma. That’s not to say he ISN’T, but there is no evidence to say he is still reconciling what happened.
  2. b) We don’t know the policies of his place of employment. I think if he went to his employer and said “Hey, I can’t do this interview because of the following reasons.” I don’t know about you, but it would take a pretty heartless boss to make you spend time talking to somebody who sexually assaulted/groped you. I mean, his boss COULD be that heartless, but there is absolutely no evidence that his boss is like that.

All we can really conclude from the Aimee scandal is this:

  1. a) Yes, if you grope somebody and you are taken away by security and blocked on Facebook, you were definitely in the wrong and were lucky to escape charges. Hell, you might have not even been allowed to compete on Australian Survivor.
  2. b) It doesn’t matter what your sex or gender is–it’s wrong to touch somebody sexually without their permission.
  3. c) The victim of the incident appears to be over it and has forgiven the perpetrator.
  4. d) If both parties have moved on, we probably should too. I mean, you don’t HAVE to forgive Aimee. But given what has happened since the incident, forgiving a contestant you watched on your television for the past two weeks is probably the healthiest thing to do.

And because the subject of sexual assault and groping aren’t exactly the easiest topics to cover, and knowing me I probably typed something that came out the wrong way, feel free to message me if you want to question what I said.

Unlike other people who enter touchy subject matter and just want to yell at you the whole time, I’ll actually listen to you and respond to what you have to say. Provided you don’t say I am a huge jerk and/or an idiot.


Alright. We have covered race and sexual assault in the first two weeks. I can’t wait for week three where I will be required to cover religion. What fun.

P.S. I am currently involved in a Rankdown of every team who has competed in The Amazing Race on Reddit (the American version only, sadly. I wish it would have expanded to Canada, Australia, and Asia). I have shared a bunch of my personal TAR stories along the way. Feel free to check it out at . It is one of my many excessive TAR projects that I am currently participating in.

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