Australian Survivor

Australian Survivor: Episode 4

Logan Saunders unravels the fourth episode of Australian Survivor and gives his take on how the contestant voted out fared.

Australian Survivor: Episode 4


Previously on Australian Survivor: Tensions were building on Samatau as Tara and Tessa clashed over loyalties.

Over at Asaga, Sam(antha) became paranoid. It was too much for Henry who hatched a plan. Despite Henry’s best lack of effort, Asaga won immunity.

Samatau was sent to a brutal Tribal Council. Tara and Tessa duked it out. In the end, neither went home. Tarzan used his deciding vote to get rid of Kate.

Twenty-one remain; who will be voted out tonight?



Tessa realizes Tarzan had something with her staying in the game. She proceeds to apologize to the tribe as a whole.

TESSA: Guys, I’m really sorry for all the hard words. I hope you all just understand I was swinging for my life. Thanks for another chance.

No, thank Tarzan for another chance.

TESSA: I made my general apology to the tribe. I actually don’t think I owe any apology. I simply spoke the truth.

And that is how you to try to reintegrate in Survivor.

Tarzan is hailed as a magician as he makes fire. Too bad he couldn’t do it at that reward challenge with Adam.

TARA: Oh my god. I had never felt so. . .oh my gosh I was completely shocked with how Tessa was speaking. She wasn’t backing down and wasn’t going anywhere until she had her final say.

In other news, Tara really underestimated how connected Tessa thought she was to her, Adam, and Kate. I am curious if Tara is aware how betrayed Tessa has been feeling over the past few days.

To Tara, yes, it did not seem like it was flipping from her perspective because she did not feel too obligated to fulfill the alliance of Adam/Kate/Tessa.

But to Tessa? I think Tessa invested a lot more into her relationship and loyalties with Tara, and I think Tara needs to accept that rather than the “You are wrong and it wasn’t really a tight alliance” approach.

It’s going to be a losing battle for Tara until she goes up to Tessa and says: “You know what? You’re right.”

If somebody is that adamant that you were their friend and expected you to be loyal, chances are you have enough time in the game to earn their trust and loyalty back.

But that ship may have sailed after Tara’s heated words at the last Tribal Council.

TARA: She’s making me sound evil.

Tara is so over the word “flipper” that even the substitution of “evil” is more pleasant.

Intro time.



        Ziggy             Locky       Anneliese      


Mark H: I love Tarzan’s intro shot. It looks like he is making fire with his bare hands. I never noticed it before.


       Tara               Jarrad           Tessa


       Aimee            Peter                AK




     Michelle        Sarah          Henry             Ben


      Mark W          Kent            Odette         Jacqui


      Jericho        Samantha      Luke



Sad music.

For some reason, Jericho says “Goood morning, Vietnam” even though Mark H. is the one who looks like Robin Williams (Yes, the producers of Survivor AU on social media compared Mark H. to Jumanji era Robin Williams).

The relationship between Luke and Jericho is reinforced through multiple confessionals. They are best mates. No longer are they siblings or father-son.

Jericho talks about his Christian background and being an innocent angel kid.

JERICHO: I grew up as a Christian–somebody who would sacrifice everything for people. . .But the Jericho in Survivor is completely opposite. I came into this game leaving my morals at the door but they don’t need to know that.

OK, Shay.

JERICHO: I am willing to do anything to win this game.

Well, that’s a new quote.

Jericho is sharpening his machete as Ben watches.

JERICHO (smiling): I am gonna kill some tribemates.

Well, I think Survivor Jericho is already out of the bag. Or the third version of Jericho called Fundamentalist I Am on a Crusade Jericho.

Jericho 2.0 and 3.0 are equally hilarious.

As Jericho plots murder, we go back to Samatau.



They are playing charades. Aimee has never played it. She says out loud how many words are in her answer. Ouch.

Tessa says Mark H is a sweetheart and is like a dad (or my uncle). She, Mark H, and Locky have a brief chat.

MARK H: So maybe this should be the alliance now. The whole tribe.


An alliance of eleven. At least the numbers are solid.

Mark H sits on the hammock as Tessa talks to him in the morning.

MARK H: What I did for you I don’t expect you to align yourself to me. I did that just as like a personal thing more than a game strategy …eh.

TESSA: With real people, everything is a personal thing.

MARK H: Yeah, that’s right. You gotta keep it real. But yeah, you never know, you might have my back right now.

TESSA: I hope so.

MARK H: That’s nice.

TESSA: Who knows what’s gonna happen to me.

MARK H: Psssh. Dunno.

Mark and Tessa watch the sunrise. How nice.

Tara realizes she f**ked up last night and did not want to be labeled as a flipper. It might be a day too late, but she tries to make things up to Tessa.

TARA: I didn’t come up to you later on because I was just tired.

Or angry.

Tara is annoyed Tessa messed with her game plan. She doesn’t want things awkward, but her secret goal is to eliminate Tessa. Meanwhile, Tessa says her goal is to eliminate Tara.

TESSA: She flipped. She flipped and I am not going to lie down and do nothing. I didn’t come here to bow out gracefully. I’ll snuff anyone’s torch to stay in this game.

You’re Australian, Tessa. You’re not supposed to do anything gracefully.

(Insert retorts from everyone here about Canadians. I joke I joke I kidd I kidd if I offend I’m sorry.)



Jericho is surprised Kate was voted out at the last Tribal Council–probably because he didn’t know there was a Kate in this game.

JLP asks Tara how she is feeling. She rambles.

TARA: We’ve got to keep moving forward and we just can’t have any. . .

ANNELIESE: Bad blood.

TARA: Bad links.

Why can’t they say bad blood twice in a row? Would that be a musical copyright infringement?

Henry is asked about food. Nobody cares.

For today’s challenge, JLP will release one hundred coconuts into the water. Each tribe will fill their raft with their tribe coloured coconuts. They will use the raft to surf in two tribemates. Once at the beach, they will use those coconuts to bounce their coconuts onto a trampoline and smash three targets.

What are they playing for? Tastebud Delights, according to JLP. Spices. Fresh herbs. Coffee. Tea. Sugar. Salt and pepper. Anneliese makes a Bob Crowley face. JLP doesn’t say it, but there’s mint too.

Who is sitting out for Asaga? Ben.

According to Australian Survivor‘s alliance graph, Ben is on his own. Talk about being under the radar.

Both tribes talk about who is a good thrower, a good balancer, or who will be too heavy on the boat. Mark insists Locky will be too heavy. They decide not to use Locky.

Samatau sees Asaga’s choice of Luke and Henry.

TARA (to LOCKY): Oh sh**! Look who they’ve got! Just go! Just go! Just go with him!

AK and Locky are the choices.

AK proceeds to pull an Akon and smack Locky’s ass. Oddly enough, this is the second time in three rounds that AK has spanked Locky. My guess is Locky does not hope it becomes a recurring theme.

The challenge commences as JLP releases the coconuts in the water with a single chop. That takes skill. Off-camera he probably had to panic and hit it several times before both tribes arrived.

Ziggy is complimented on her butterfly technique. Phelps and Thorpe would be proud.

Sarah clocks Jericho in the head with a coconut by accident. We know who won’t be waking up on day eleven in Asaga.

Locky singles out Ziggy for her effort from a huge distance.

LOCKY: This is all you, Zig! This is all you!

. . .And seven other people.

Asaga has a lead as Henry balances. Centre of balance.

Samatau has Locky. He sinks instantly. They pile on more coconuts. The guy must be 200 pounds. He sinks again. Oh boy.

Henry is probably around 160 to 170. A welterweight. He is done and swims to shore.

Luke is balancing and pretends to be surfing a wave. Locky does not sink this time.

AK didn’t sink as he high-steps through the water.

Everyone is transporting coconuts to shore. Luke and Henry start bouncing coconuts. Aussie Survivor loves two versus two battles.

Locky and AK begin bouncing. Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce like R. Kelly.

Asaga hits one target. Samatau hits two. Asaga hits their second. Close calls.

Locky nails the final target. Samatau’s spontaneous strategy pays off.

Asaga pulls out the Sore Loser Book of Quotes and says they don’t care about rewards and immunities are all that matters.

Samatau has the spices. Odette calls out for her coffee. In the words of Ness’ mom, T-O-O B-A-D.

Samantha doesn’t care about rewards.

SAMANTHA: I don’t need variety; I just need immunity.

Considering what has been going on at camp, your priorities are well in order.



Rain comes down as they re-enter camp. Salt n Pepper is now in effect. They propose going up to four cups of rice. Uhhhhhhh.

Mark H wants to boost morale some more by going spearfishing. He looks like the guy who could do it. He keeps walking until he finds an urn with a note attached to it.

Dear Mark H.,

Use this hidden immunity idol. Save yourself. Vote Parvati. Tell no one.

xoxo JT

Just kidding.

It’s a moral dilemma. He must choose firewood for the tribe or a big jar of cookies which he keeps to himself.

So. . .a diarrhea explosion on day 10 or firewood to keep everyone warm?

MARK H: They don’t need firewood, but I want cookies.

The way Mark H says this cracks me up. Just the emphasis on the cookies.

And we all know which one Angie Layton would have chosen, yes? It was the only thing holding back camp life for Matsing.

Mark H starts crying. He’d rather everyone have cookies. Man, his pre-game plan of selfish has gone out the window.

MARK H: When you don’t have any food or not much of it. . .When you don’t have any friendship, all you really have got is yourself.

Mark looks miserable and fatigued. 45 days more to go, Mark!



They currently don’t have fire. Jericho goes to retrieve firewood. Instead he retrieves the urn of cookies. It looks like this was the day 10 plan all along. Wasn’t the moral dilemma in episode four of last season as well? Granted it involved a hidden immunity idol clue.

Jericho is faced with the moral dilemma. We have a review of Jericho 1.0 vs. Jericho 2.0.

JERICHO: Of course, I am going to take this jar of cookies!

JERICHO: Thou shalt not steal is one of the greatest scriptures on the Bible but I feel like you didn’t steal. . .I just completely decided to selfishly hide something.

Two completely different things.

JERICHO: It was a jar of cookies all for myself! Of course, I was gonna get the cookie!

It takes the saying “You gotta risk it for the biscuit”.

JERICHO: It was like opening Pandora’s Box.

I thought Jericho was a Christian rather than a Greek Mythologist? Or is it a Big Brother reference?


Speaking of which, I will take this moment to have an aside and say I have already stopped watching Big Brother 19 this season. How do you turn a beloved favourite from last season and make him one of the most controversial contestants along with an equally controversial showmance? And where only one contestant can crack a 3.0 rating on Jokers Updates?

Given how Big Brother Canada 5 failed this year too, we ultimately wait for Big Brother Canada 6 to improve things.


I don’t know which happened more in this scene: Jericho making hilarious faces as he ATTACKED those cookies as if he experienced sugar for the first time in his life, or dropping Bible references. Like, twenty percent of the cookies are probably gone.

JERICHO: There’s only one real tribe and that’s me. I need to start building my tribe and that I stand on this pedestal with this jar of cookies.

How many votes do the cookies get to cast at Tribal Council, Jericho?



Mark H walks back into camp with a huge stack of firewood. Everyone happens to be at camp. He reads the note to everyone as he cries. Like, the opposite reaction to Jericho.

They all said he should have taken the cookies. Mark starts laughing.

MARK H: How the hell could I have slept at night eaten those bloody biscuits?

You wouldn’t. Nature would have called. A lot.

Mark realizes everyone else would have taken cookies, and that being himself means everything.

MARK H: I’ll take that to the grave.

Hopefully, Jericho isn’t the one who puts you there. The guy has a machete and the biggest sugar rush in Survivor history.



Jericho decides to start bribing people with cookies. He smuggles some from his stash in his shirt. He tells Luke to join him at midnight. In the meantime, he is going to use the cookies to recruit Henry.

Hopefully, Henry is willing to give up his Buddhist Zen beliefs to take tainted cookies like Jericho has with his Christianity.

Henry and Jericho are at the water well.

JERICHO: I found …a clue! Not to an idol! I’m not sneaky like that.

No. Only sneaky with cookies.

Jericho tells Henry about the cookies. Henry is good with it. Jericho says they will have two each.

JERICHO: I will not tell Henry about the full stash because he isn’t completely trustworthy.

Yeah, there is something about a Fake Yoga Instructor that is hard to trust.

Jericho tells Henry that he doesn’t know what will be in the cookies. He pretends to be REALLY excited over what it could be.

JERICHO: I was gonna share it with Luke but after the last couple days …

If I were Henry, this would be a red flag for me.

Henry wants rice for dessert. You can’t have dessert until you finish your cookies.



Tessa feels like she is in danger. What else is new? She can’t find a way to escape another immunity challenge loss. She says Locky has a trail of girls following his big broad shoulders.

Tessa will also attempt to play with Locky if it is in her best interests. She pleads her case to Locky and Ziggy.

LOCKY: I know you are in a sucky situation, I bet.

Yep. A reasonable bet.

Locky denies Tessa a spot into an alliance. Mark H joins this conversation.

MARK H: I’m gonna chuck one thing in there then you can ask me all of the questions you want. If you don’t vote for the weakest person in the alliance, none of your people are gonna stay. Your weakest person is Anneliese. Without a doubt. That’s it. It’s simple as that.

LOCKY: That’s killing my game.

MARK H: How is she crucial in your game?

LOCKY: She votes with me.

MARK H: I can vote with you.

LOCKY: But she’s loyal.

MARK: Then what am I?

A garbage man.

MARK H: This might as well just be the Locky Tribe.

LOCKY: I’m happy for you two to talk to everyone individually–

TESSA: I’m going to keep looking for an idol.

I never thought I would say this in Survivor, but that is a tight EIGHT person alliance.

Tessa hunts for an idol.



The entire tribe except Jericho is eating rice on the beach while Jericho stands twenty feet behind them.

He drinks water from his canteen as he shakes uncontrollably. Holy crap. This is an INTENSE sugar high. I have experienced that sugar high before. Somebody needs to tell him to stop.

While he shakes uncontrollably and drinks some water, he sneaks in a whole cookie between sips. He does this multiple times. That sugar crash is going to be ridiculous. He burps loudly which surprisingly does not attract attention.

Jericho retreats into the jungle.

JERICHO: This is going to be the game changer for me. I am going to share my cookies with Henry and Luke.

The phrase “game changer” needs to be banned from existence. Thank god this is the first time the phrase has been dropped in four episodes.

Jericho and Henry sit on a log eating chocolate chip cookies. It is so awkward. Jericho moans.

HENRY: Definitely now I’ve got your back.

Luke and Jericho limp away to the beach at midnight.

JERICHO: Being a Cookie is Monster hilarious, but it’s more hilarious when you have Elmo next to me. And Luke has become my Elmo in this game.

And what is Henry? Mr. Noodle!

Jericho tells Luke the truth about the whole jar. He starts screeching in his laughter. Luke sees there are two hundred cookies in there. He loves the warm cookie dough. They laugh over their cookie date.

Jericho is confident he has Henry and Luke’s trust as he builds his empire and throne.

Man, he risked it for the biscuit and it is paying off.



JLP asks what it is like to win consecutive immunity challenges. Locky is confident with a full belly today. Locky’s abs are officially minted.

Mark W is ready for immunity.

MARK W: We are ready for round three.

Ummm …isn’t this round four?

For today’s challenge, the tribe will split into two groups–builders and runners. OK, Survivor: Fiji.

Builders will build an obstacle course for the runners as they go.

First over a cargo net which the builders will raise. Then stepping poles which they must keep the runners off the ground. Finally, the runners will carry sandbags across a ladder (which the builders hold up) then use the sandbags to knock a block off of a rail. Once the block is knocked off, immunity is theirs.

Kent is sitting out.


BUILDERS: Tara; Locky; Peter; Tarzan; Aimee

RUNNERS: Anneliese; Ziggy; Jarrad; Tessa; AK


BUILDERS: Mark W; Sarah; Ben; Michelle; Luke

RUNNERS: Henry; Jacqui; Jericho; Samantha; Odette


Asaga says to go one at a time. They decide to go two at a time as they quickly ignore their own advice.

Jarrad is told not to go in the middle. Apparently, if you touch the ground then you have to go back to the beginning.

Samatau decides to roll across as if they are a pin flattening out cookie dough.

Samatau is across. Then Asaga.

Locky tells Jarrad to “sit on it”. OK, Fonz. Locky and Mark H transport Jarrad. Asaga copies their strategy.

JLP: This is not this part of the challenge is designed. But hey, if you want to innovate then innovate.

I thought only James Clement was allowed to innovate.

Mark H and Locky single-handedly transport everybody as they sit on their ass.

Asaga blatantly copies this strategy. Jacqui nearly falls backwards. Mark W and Luke are doing all of the work for Asaga.

Jacqui is first across the ladder but didn’t take any sandbags. Woops. Jarrad drops a few sandbags. Whatever falls is out of the challenge.

JLP: Ziggy has two in her mouth!

Don’t giggle.

Henry had some sandbags in his crotch. Nobody was impressed.

All five members of Asaga are across.

AK is the last person preparing to cross as he is very unsteady has a huge amount of sandbags in his shirt. It looks like a reusable shopping bag.

Tribes are practically dead even. This challenge is really creative. They rely on AK’s flow.

Both tribes are close to the edge. Asaga is right at the edge. Block falls. Henry and Jericho’s sugar rush is enough to get them immunity for the third time in a row!

Have Asaga really lost three rewards but won three immunities? I know Samatau would give up every reward for just one of those wins, especially Tessa.

Hey, Tessa is wearing a Hogwarts hat! She’s my new favourite.

Tessa says she needs an idol or another miracle. Well, she is wearing an appropriate hat because magic will be required too to save her tonight.



Tessa knows her head is on the chopping block. This could really drag.

Everyone except Tessa agrees to eliminate Tess.

LOCKY: Clearly she doesn’t have an idol.

AK: We should probably keep an eye on her. I think we should keep an eye on her.

If the guy who faked you out with a chicken idol and played a real one is telling you to keep an eye on her, you should probably listen.

Locky determines Tarzan needs to be kept because he is necessary to do well in challenges (and for fire making).

Tarzan knows Tessa hasn’t found the idol. He decides to look for it.

MARK H: There’s one tree that has all of these nice little holes in it all over the place. I thought I’d go have a look.

And sure enough. . .

MARK H: Bugger me! God, I love this game. Watch the bastards come scrounging now. They all want Tarzan to keep lighting fire. Well, I’m ready to light a few more.

For the second time in three episodes, the minority has the idol. I don’t know how I feel about that.

Mark H talks to Locky.

MARK H: It’s amazing how I just keep finding this wood …I’m just going to write what you said. What’s the point of doing anything different? Be honest with me, mate.

LOCKY: All I can say is we’re all gonna vote Tessa.

MARK H: But don’t we have to have an alternate?

LOCKY: No. I don’t think she has an idol.

MARK H: I may as well vote unanimous.

Locky has an interesting confessional.

LOCKY: Why would you say that now? Tarzan just doesn’t roll over.

Mark H really does have wood. He’s got the biggest wood in this game.

MARK H: The game Locky is playing is “I am sitting back because I am in control”, and all of his servants beneath him are feeling that presence that “We’re safe as long as we’re with Locky”. That’s gotta come to an end some time, and today is that day.

Oh my.

Mark H notes AK is on the bottom of the alliance. He wants to sway Tessa and AK. Tessa tells everyone she will not bother going for firewood.

Tarzan is alone with AK. He wants to give trust to earn it.

TESSA: I don’t have much time to waste here.

MARK H: I’d knock Locky clean out the water. We’d go handicapped into every challenge, but we’ll just absolutely stuff that alliance and I’d be happy to go head-to-head with those other jackards. This occasion deserves somebody higher up the tree.

Mark H has a confessional.

MARK H: Everybody is looking at me like a complete bloody idiot.

AK says they need six.

MARK H: We won’t need six.

Then Mark H pulls out the idol and hands it to Tessa in front of AK.

Tessa starts crying. Mark H is so happy to pass off the idol. He starts tearing up too. AK’s jaw probably hasn’t moved.

Mark H and AK are alone at camp.

MARK H: You’ve got to decide whose side you’re on, brother. Sometimes you’ve just got to …risk it all.

Risk it for the …risk it for the …some sort of snack.

AK wants to make big moves and strike the iron while it’s hot. He has a clear idea of what the smart move will be.

MARK H: I’ve never believed in luck. Fortune is more my thing, and a man believes in his own fortune. Tarzan has found a crack in the alliance and the fury of the gods has come.

They all trek to Tribal Council. AK seriously isn’t telling anyone about the idol? That can’t be true. Not even Jarrad?





Ziggy and AK feel responsible for the loss. AK says he does not fear the opportunity to step up for his tribe.

JLP: Are you in trouble again tonight?

TESSA: It seems like I am always in trouble. It seems I can’t get off the bottom here.

Nobody can get off Locky’s bottom either.

Tessa says Tarzan is a huge challenge asset, a fire starter, and a good guy.

TESSA: So not the quite boat as me. I think I am a much juicier pick off first.

That’s not the word I would use.

JLP notes they will be cannibalizing each other soon due to their mega alliance.

LOCKY: We just have to take each day as it is. They’re on the outs at the moment so we can deal with that now, and then we can deal with that then.

TESSA: It’s easy to say that when you’re on top, Lockland.

LOCKY: Me on top? If you say so.

Lockland is always on top. Just my gut instinct.

Tessa pulls a Ciera Eastin and begs everyone to make a move.

TESSA: Take control and not leave things up to chance. This is a game and we all need to actually be playing this game. And not be riding the majority.

TARA: You keep telling us to “play the game, play the game.” But we played Adam like a professional poker player. He didn’t even know it was coming!

Well. Tara shouldn’t bother with repairing her bond with Tessa anymore. Hopefully, Tarzan doesn’t find another nine idols for Tessa to make jury.

Jarrad thinks he is somewhere in the middle, and believes everybody else is under the assumption they are in the middle.

MARK H: That’s a big middle.

Mike Borassi is offended.

JLP: That’s not possible, right?

JARRAD: If you’re on the bottom then you probably don’t know it.

TESSA: That’s just bad Survivor. The people who win this game make a big alliance and not make anyone feel like they are on the bottom. It’s really good gameplay.

Tessa begs everyone to figure out where they stand in this mega eight person alliance. An alliance the size of the starting tribes last season, mind you.

Mark H points out his loyalty with the moral dilemma and his loyalty in daily life and the people around him.

LOCKY: I don’t trust you anymore. You said to Anneliese “I will never write your name down,” and then told me to write her name down.

ANNELIESE: I don’t want to work with them.

MARK H: Anneliese, I promise I ain’t voting for you tonight.

JLP asks AK where he sits. AK admits he is on the bottom of the eight because of his own fault and is proving by his repeated actions that he can be trusted and that everything he has done has lined up at Tribal Council.

Tessa says people are not playing Survivor.

TESSA: I know you know what I am talking about AK, and I think there are some other people who do too.

AK: Tessa is an extremely smart, logical player AK–

TESSA: Thanks, AK. I don’t get many compliments around here.

AK: And I think she understands the game and to move forward she might knock out someone who is not expecting it.

PETER: No one’s here gonna crack though. We’re all tight.

JLP: Aimee, do you agree?

AIMEE: Bloody do.

Tara feels comfortable with her alliance “at the moment”. JLP asks Locky what should the tribe remember when they go to vote.

LOCKY: Just stick to the plan and see what happens.

Well, that’s the least comforting instruction from the leader of your alliance ever. Eh, we might all be going home. Whatever. Just vote and roll ‘dem bones.

We get a commercial break. Dancing feet may or may not be involved.

It’s time to vote. Tessa is first to nudge the Sims icon and vote.

TARA: I really hope you don’t have an idol.

We see an isolated shot of Mark H next to a flame. He is such a fire man he should have been in the original Mega Man video game for the NES.

JLP tallies the votes. No. I stand corrected. COUNTS the votes.

JLP: If anybody has a hidden immunity idol and wants to play it, now would be the time to do so.

Tessa is shaking her head. She plays the idol. Mark H grins the whole time. Locky’s eyes water. Tara is not happy. Locky looks like his cat died.

MARK H: Go, champ.

Here we go.




FOURTH VOTE: TESSA Win it all Girl


SIXTH VOTE: Lockland




Mark H throws out his arms.

MARK H: Yeah, beauty!

AK looks miserable.

Tarzan’s torch is snuffed as he beats his chest, then asks JLP for a hug.

My uncle is out. Sad.

MARK H: Win the next one for me! What a blast!

JLP: You chose alliance over strength. But if you keep losing challenges, we’ll find out how strong this alliance really is.

Well, given that Aus Survivor‘s swap n’ shuffle structure pre-merge was 4-2-5, it may not be tested at all.


Next Time on Survivor: The season’s first endurance challenge puts bodies and minds to the test. Can Samatau avoid four straight Survivor Tribal Councils or is time for AK to make his move? Like Sue’s move?

MARK H: Bloody hell. What a big finish, eh? What happened? Well, we were gonna knock Locky off but it looks like AK pulled the ol’ turncoat on us and looks like I am going out.

AK’s vote: I genuinely hope you play the idol tonight and I can work with you in the future days.

MARK H: I think Young Tess has got as much chance as anybody.

She needed Tarzan to save her twice. And alliance is 8-1. I don’t know if her chances are as high as anybody’s.

Tarzan feels the rain coming down. He hopes it pisses rain on everybody back at camp.


So it is time to mourn Mark H. in what is the third unique Tribal Council in a row to start the season.

I have already seen numerous complaints online that either Tarzan played it all wrong, he is an idiot, and/or secretly wanted to quit in a way that preserved his bearded image.

Can we just recap that Tarzan entered this episode in a minority of two against a solid established eight-person alliance?

And this isn’t even post-merge where one could win individual immunity and the other plays an idol, or have two idols.

There is one idol and most players assume they will be split into three tribes when it goes down to eighteen players because that’s what US Survivor likes to do nowadays.

Let’s start with the first big thing that most people forget: A huge eight-person alliance allowed somebody in the tiny minority to find an idol for the second round in a row. There were eight of them. Maybe editing was not keen on spending an hour of airtime on ten people searching for the idol, but it looked like Tarzan, AK, and Tessa were the only three people actively searching for idols.

Why, the majority from two rounds ago completely switched up the numbers because one of their own wanted help to fend off the minority from finding the idol, and was punished for this (amongst other reasons) by being voted out.

So they made this mistake twice.

Tarzan informed the tribe that he chose firewood for everyone rather than get revenge and take a jar of cookies for himself. He approached Locky. He approached AK. He approached others to let him integrate into the tribe. With their third immunity loss in a row looming, Tarzan’s initial pitch was “Let’s get rid of our weakest member.” That seems fairly logical to me when tribes are going to be 11-8.

And remember–this is Australian Survivor. It’s not the American version where some form of shuffle or switch will occur at least once or twice per season since One World. Australian Survivor has no set trend or pattern as of yet. Last season’s pattern was 4-2-5. How the hell are you supposed to guess what it will be this season? Maybe with tribes being really close in every challenge, they just let them duke it out for eleven to thirteen rounds, especially when every Tribal Council thus far has been beyond ridiculous. Perhaps producers will not want to mess with the chaotic dynamics.

So yes. Tarzan could have just kept the idol, let Tessa go home, and then if they lost again, play the idol and chances are very very good Tarzan will make it to a switch and join a new group to take out his old tribemates.

But nearly nobody in this whole cast is thinking long-term. In fact, absolutely no one from what we have seen is thinking long-term. They are thinking about this round and this round only. And Mr. Jumanji is no exception.

So yes, Tarzan could have kept that idol. He could have made a deep run in this game by sacrificing Tessa and playing selfishly.

But then there’s this whole human emotion bullsh** that plays into Survivor. That part where the strongest of game players throw away their game plan because doing “whatever it takes to win” is no longer the number one priority. Now it becomes “In what way can I play this and be happy with what I have done?”

So yeah, YOU might not play that idol for Tessa and not bother with triggering a messed up temporary tie with Locky, but Tarzan wanted to do so. Finding that idol for Tessa, handing it over to her, and seeing the looks on everyone else’s faces is exactly what he wanted. Hell, he was the loudest cheerleader beating his chest as the idol was played, knowing there was a 99% chance he was going home.

And yes, handing the idol over to Tessa in front of AK definitely hurt the chances of having all eight people piling their votes onto Tessa because of their refusal to believe she had an idol.

And was Tarzan engineering this as a way for him to quit?

No, Tarzan’s priorities were just not one of self-preservation this week. In fact, I believe you could rank his priorities as follows:

  1. a) Let Tessa have a fighting chance in this game and live out her dream
  2. b) Punish Locky for leading the tribe to three consecutive immunity losses and protecting people who Tarzan wanted out of this game.
  3. c) Self-preservation.

Once you understand that ranking of what Tarzan wanted in this episode, then you realize that EVERYTHING HE DID was to maximize his biggest goals.

Am I saying Tarzan is a good player when it comes to doing what it takes to win Survivor? Absolutely not.

Am I saying that Tarzan knew what he was doing and wasn’t throwing in the towel? Absolutely.

And that’s the key difference here that people need to understand as to why Tarzan left the way he did.

Yeah, we will all be shaking our head and disappointed Tarzan went from being the cutthroat bearded hippie pre-season to the sappy workhorse who wanted his Neleh to get further in the game, but that’s how Survivor goes.

Oh, and without one of their strongest camp and challenge assets, Samatau is pretty much screwed. I don’t think they’ll even pick up a reward this round.

P.S. Jericho was hilarious this episode. Samatau didn’t stand a chance with Sugar Rush Jericho. Hell, Sugar Rashad Evans doesn’t even sport that much energy. I say just give Jericho a never-ending supply of cookies until day 55 and see what the hell happens to him. Maybe he’ll have type two diabetes by the end of this thing.

P.P.S. Women not named Tara, Tessa, Samantha, and Jacqui will eventually get significant airtime this season, yes? You’ve either got to be angry, targeted, paranoid, or fabulous to get airtime this season.

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