Survivor SA: Philippines

Survivor SA: Philippines — “Lovin’ Spoonful”

Logan Saunders recaps episode 6 of Survivor South Africa: Philippines ahead of episode 7.

SURVIVOR SOUTH AFRICA: PHILIPPINES Episode 6: “LOVIN’ SPOONFUL”

Previously on Survivor SA: Nico put a plan in motion to impregnate the entire female population of South Africa with his sexy narrating voice, and it worked as the country’s population doubled overnight. At Luzon, Josie started to see cracks in the old Mindanao’s alliance.  At the Mindanao camp, Marthunis continued to rile everyone up the wrong way. On Visayas, Palesa and Tom’s feud escalated. Visaya ended up at Tribal Council where Palesa claimed another hidden immunity idol. When Murischa’s game faulted, Tom and Palesa put their differences aside.

Somehow, some way, Murischa was voted out.

Thirteen are left; who will be voted out tonight?

 

VISAYAS

NIGHT 13

Chane wants to know how Palesa knew about the idol.

PALESA: I found the clue. Another one.

Except this time the presence of the idol was a bit more subtle.

Tom and Palesa agree they need to get “shit done” and that there is no more tension. . .for like, the next twenty minutes.

We get a shortened intro. -_-

 

LUZON

DAY 14

Werner wakes up so early. So early that the cameras are in black and white like we’re watching an Alfred Hitcock movie. He spots the clue and covers it with a sweater that he wants to dry.

We cut to a shot in colour where Werner tries to absorb his fingers into his eyes. Toni joins him. He divulges the information to Toni.

TONI: That’s gold. That’s two idols between us. The million Rand is in reach right there.

Werner has a confessional where he is wearing a funny Vietnamese farmer’s hat.

 

MINDANAO

DAY 14

Marthunis uses his MENSA brain to construct a chess board.

MARTHUNIS: My brain’s active. I’m fine. It’s when I am bored and doing nothing that I go nuts. PK sucks at chess. He’s not great at all. I saw some of his weaknesses. One of his weaknesses is that when he’s losing he doesn’t give up. . .when it’s obvious that I lose, I would give up and start a new game. That’s the difference.

The difference between chess and Survivor? Survivor has a social game. That’s how Survivor serves as a great equalizer.

And I am curious to see if Marthunis’ philosophical confessionals serve as foreshadowing. You would not see this sophisticated of storytelling in American Survivor.

Katinka and Annalize fix their shelter. They watch as Tevin and PK do nothing to help around camp except play chess.

For the millionth time this season, PK and Tevin strategize as to how to eliminate Marthunis. They see Marthunis and Annalize in the water as Marthunis tells Annalize that she will be next to go because Mindanao will stick together.

TEVIN: We can’t blindside anybody when we have somebody as erratic as that.

It’s like telling somebody what you are going to do in a game of chess one move in advance.

TEVIN: Marthunis’ chances of winning this game are literally zero.

C’mon. Everybody has an eight percent chance when there’s thirteen people. Let’s stick with the odds on paper, guys.

The dudes start helping with the shelter.

MARTHUNIS (to TEVIN): You know, if you did as much work as you create nonsense, a lot would get done, hey?

Tevin is ready to open a can of Bio-Strath on Marthunis’ ass.

I don’t know exactly what they are talking about because there is a lot of mumbling and cursing and joking around.

MARTHUNIS (to TEVIN): Do the women’s job. Go gather some water. Do the women’s job.

TEVIN: You sexist misogynistic mofo.

Marthunis is a bad mother–shut your mouth.

TEVIN: PK and I are just done.

He is leaving this family! No, for real this time! He’s like the Michael Bluth. Jesus.

MARTHUNIS (in front of everyone): You guys think you’re going to blindside me.  I know you’re talking about me behind my back. So funny. I’ve got two idols.

PK: So what’s your next move going to be?

MARTHUNIS: Quit just before you’re going to blindside me.

Ah. The South African Colton Cumbie. Awesome strategy. If Colton was a South African straight married family man.

PK says Marthunis has talked about quitting since the first day of the game and is a coward.

MARTHUNIS: Why aren’t you going to quit?

TEVIN: I’m not going to quit. I am never going to quit.  . .Marthunis will go home.

All talk, Tevin. Fourteen days and this guy is still in.

 

VISAYAS

DAY 14

Chane says her game has flipped. Vusi is silently gathering wood. Chane didn’t sleep last night. She is upset Tom has played an idol and Palesa still has one. They’re doomed at the next vote, and Tom’s anger issues has cost her valuable relationships.

CHANE: The Tom Ship is sinking.

Didn’t it start sinking the minute Neil drew the unlucky rock?

Chane sees her game rapidly going in a tailspin, and opts to approach Palesa and Vusi to jump ship.

VUSI SPEAKS!

VUSI: She was just dealt bad cards and drew the wrong side of the mountain line as it were.

Ah, Vusi. Tune in next week to see if he speaks! Our new Chelsea!

Palesa reads the Tree Mail (or as Tess would say, the Mail Box) and all four assume the reward will be burgers and beer.

Wow. The South African diet is not too different from the North American one.

TOM: If we lose this one, I have 50/50 odds of going home.

Turn those ‘5’s into a ‘1’, and erase the backslash and you are pretty much right, Tom.

 

TRIBAL IMMUNITY CHALLENGE #6

DAY 14

PK is shocked to see Murischa is gone. Werner’s mouth twitches. Annalize grins.

Immunities are back up for grabs. Oh my.

NICO: Tribal immunity is back up for grabs. However, we only need one of these today.

(NICO stabs the sand with one of the idols.)

NICO: Two tribes will be going to Tribal Council today.

VUSI: Not winning today is not an option. It’s extremely important. Not just for ourselves but to show the other tribe we are capable.

Hold up. Why do you have to demonstrate to the other tribes that your tribe is capable in challenges?

Have you ever seen a season of Survivor where, say, Chapera and Mogo Mogo win immunity, Saboga loses, and members on Mogo Mogo say “WE HAVE TO VOTE EVERY SABOGA PLAYER OUT AT A MERGE BECAUSE THEY SUCKED AT PRE-MERGE CHALLENGES”.

It didn’t stop Aganoa from having three of its members be the Final Three in Australian Survivor.

Speaking of Australian Survivor, for today’s challenge we are going to duplicate an immunity challenge from their previous season. Each tribe will stand together on a platform in a line. Each tribe member will have to work with another tribe member to hold up a disc with the palm of their hands. Last tribe standing with at least one disc wins immunity AND reward.

NICO: There’s been much talk lately about a particular something.

EVERYONE: BURGERRRRS!

Winning tribe will find a Steers Build Your Own Burger Bar and their world famous sauces (I’ve never heard of Steers).

NICO: And we all know flame-grilled just tastes better.

Jeanne orgasms and PK’s mouth has been stuck in the same spot for a solid five seconds. Marthunis is really pissed off for some reason.

TOM: I’m so nervous because we’ve not been eating and we’ve been farting. I’m so nervous. We don’t have a choice.

I know Tom was saying ‘fighting,’ but that is -definitely- not what it sounds like on the audio.

Mindanao has to sit out somebody. They choose Marthunis.

MARTHUNIS: The reward didn’t excite me. My metabolism has slowed down so much that I don’t want it to increase by eating. Why do that to myself and go through these ups and downs? Although the prospect of food may have sounded great to everybody, nobody has the intellectual capacity that I have.

Marthunis is actually telling the truth. I know I joke about it frequently, but shocking your system with these really rich sugary or greasy meals is going to make you feel sick in the long run. Mr. Joe (Koah Rong), Jaison (Samoa), Lex (Africa), Bruce (Panama), have all lost a million bucks because of food rewards.

But nobody thinks of the logic when it comes to these rewards. It’s essentially like having cocaine in gestation forms. It’s like a drug in this environment and everyone wants to do as many lines as possible because it’s the most pleasurable thing you can have on Survivor.

NICO: Designed to cause pain.

Much like the pain their stomachs will have after all of those burgers, Marthunis will point out.

TONI-WERNER-JEANNE-JOSIE

CHANE-VUSI-TOM-PALESA

ANNALIZE-TEVIN-PK-KATINKA

Vusi and Tom are trying to cooperate. Jeanne’s arms are killing her. Werner is in pain. They decide to drop their middle disc so they can essentially work in pairs.

TONI-WERNER JEANNE-JOSIE

PK: Please don’t drop it please don’t drop it

(TEVIN drops it.)

PK: F–k.

ANNALIZE-TEVIN PK-KATINKA

Palesa is squatted over so much but yet is still in it. Chane can’t keep her hand up.

VUSI-TOM-PALESA

VUSI: It’s my bad shoulder! My shoulder is killing me!

Vusi looks like he is in child labour.

TOM: FIGHT! FIGHT, VUSI! DIG DEEP!

The cnouragement does nothing. Vusi looks like he tore a rotator cuff.

TOM-PALESA

ELAPSED TIME: 10 MINUTES

Tevin wants to imitate Palesa’s position. Josie does as well. So does Tom.

Jeanne is in enormous pain. Josie’s hand is halfway off the top of the disc. She is groaning.

ELAPSED TIME: 20 MINUTES

Josie’s hand slips off as if it were covered in butter.

TONI-WERNER

TOM-PALESA

ANNALIZE-TEVIN PK-KATINKA

JEANNE: C’mon Toni Tones.

Is that her gym trainer name?

ELAPSED TIME: 30 MINUTES

TOM: My hands are completely numb. The pins and needles are gone.

Annalize and Tevin juggle the disc but it’s gone. Tevin tries to cheat but Nico disqualifies ’em.

ELAPSED TIME: 40 MINUTES

PK-KATINKA

TOM-PALESA

TONI TONES-WERNER

PK: We need to win this. We are the best.

MARTHUNIS: Tom, you know the first two nights at the camp we had so many jokes about you because we had no clue what you do. We were chatting and chatting that this bloke is going to make the fire but then Jeanne beat him at making the fire.

TOM: If you can stop distracting me, that’d be great.

I think that’s the idea, Tom. It’s a game of chess.

MARTHUNIS: Voted off my best friend, Tom.

TOM: Surprised you’re still here.

Aren’t we all?

PK tries to coach Katinka into shifting position but she does the exact opposite and they’re out.

They’re not actually the best–they’re actually the worst.

PK tries to keep Katinka’s spirits up.

The two remaining pairs gain a ton of encouragement from their tribemates.

MARTHUNIS: Tom, does your age give you an advantage or disadvantage?

TOM: Has your mouth ever got you smacked?

MARTHUNIS: Tom, if you lose will you be using the idol against yourself?

I wish these two had been on the same tribe. Marthunis is chirping as if he knows he will be eliminated tonight.

ELAPSED TIME: 1 HOUR

Werner and Toni try to change position but to no avail.

Visayas wins immunity because Palesa and Tom have teamwork! Slow motion hugging!

Tom walks over to Marthunis in slow motion and Tom has his fist clenched. Peter Bentley’s theme from Jaws plays. Tevin and Nico look very concerned.

Just as Tom is an inch away from Marthunis, he hugs and shakes his hand. Marthunis laughs. At least Marthunis isn’t viewed as much of a d-bag as we think he is.

Tom rejoins his tribe as the brand of his underwear Jockey are on full display for everyone. Does Survivor have an official underwear sponsor now? Jockey! The underwear that gives you support when the going gets tough!

After an hour and five minutes, Palesa and Tom grab the immunity idol from Nico together. Palesa had Tom in the crosshairs, but damn, I think this Visayas tribe is going to be a tight alliance in the future. The tribe with the greatest level of cooperation definitely won this challenge. Tom and Palesa are tough AF.

Werner witnessed how tight Josie is with former Luzon at the immunity challenge. He questions keeping her.

 

VISAYAS

DAY 14

Palesa thinks God has a strange sense of humor because the pair which had fought the most managed to scrape together the best teamwork for immunity. Night 13  could be a huge turning point.

Visayas’ turnaround over the past two rounds is amazing.

TOM: Thank you Steers. You can’t believe what you mean to me.

Then Steers starts off “well I don’t usually. . .”

Then Tom says “Step out, show me what’cha all about. . .”

But in all seriousness, Bio-Strath is sleeping on the couch tonight. Pizza Hut is stuck outside like Fred Flintstone in the opening credits of The Flintstones.

Chane is disgusted by Tom because he starts licking and making out with the spoon that everyone is using to scoop the burgers. Usually, I have to be really drunk to make out with anyone like that, let alone a cooking utensil.

And hey, who knew a middle-aged man would have the worst eating habits in a group of people. I would have -never- seen that one coming.

CHANE: I mean, c’mon we’re all sharing the same thing and he’s being disgusting.

You have been living in your own filth for fourteen days, Chane. Perhaps Tom’s standard of hygiene has rapidly vanished into heathen status within two weeks.

 

MINDANAO

DAY 14

MARTHUNIS: Right now I am going to quit because I don’t see a way out of this that I can remain the person that I am right now. That is why I am going to quit.

OK, Colton.

MARTHUNIS: Three reasons that I am going to go. One, like, my brain works at such a fast rate that I get bored. I’m awake since four o’ clock in the morning. The second one, Annalize doesn’t deserve to go home when I don’t want to be here and she wants to be here.

ANNALIZE (sarcastic smile and gasp): Thank you!

Marthunis is Annalize’s savior! His MENSA brainpower surely would have sent her home at Tribal Council tonight!

MARTHUNIS: I ask you to put her in my place. Um, and then the third thing I feel I am hitting the wrong way from where God wants me to go, and I need to jump off the boat and go the other way. That’s the reasons for going. Maybe a lot of the stuff at Tribal Council we can talk about what we’re going to do next. Like what Annalize is gonna do next.

Forget Steers, the greatest reward Marthunis would have played for today is for Nico to pull back a blanket which uncovered the Lord himself accompanied by a raft and a map for Marty.

TEVIN: Marthunis is a quitter. Quitter is gonna quit.

It’s like the start of a Taylor Swift song.

Tevin tells the tribe everyone is different, but would never leave unless he was voted out or dragged by the medics. Katinka thinks fourteen days feels like a lifetime

KATINKA: Fourteen days feels like a lifetime for him. For me, fourteen days is not even a third of the game.

You want to try that math again, Katinka? Do you want Lisa from Survivor NZ to help you?

They celebrate Marthunis’ last supper.

MARTHUNIS: Everyone, at least spell my name correctly. Check the bottle.

Everyone should intentionally spell it wrong.

 

LUZON

DAY 14

JEANNE: Josie is going home. . .what we have going on here is self-preservation and strategy.

Josie and Toni chat on a log to eliminate Jeanne. Werner sees this and decides to dig as Jeanne watches. He makes Jeanne play lookout.

JEANNE: How do you know if it’s there?

WERNER: I just have a feeling.

The same feeling Ace and Josie had.

Josie starts dissing Werner to Toni and that it is the only shot they can take at him.

TONI: Big mistake, Josie. Never go after my number one.

Yeah. Josie swung for the fences at a ball that was never thrown.

Meanwhile, Werner claims the idol while Josie tried targeting him. Wow.

Jeanne now knows Werner has two idols. She thinks Toni has loose lips and refuses to tell her. Jeanne and Werner solidify their bond and figure out what to do with the idol. Werner tells Toni they have the idol. Toni is upset that it was found within Jeanne.

TONI: Dummy found it in front of Jeanne.

I feel like Toni wants to kill her whole tribe. She should call Jericho for help.

 

MINDANAO

DAY 14

TEVIN: Marthunis is so adamant we get his name spelled correctly which is the perfect opportunity to let him leave this island with a bang.

Are Tevin and I on the same page?

ANNALIZE: Murtunis.

TEVIN: Martinhuis. H-U-I-S at the end. He is going to spell it Matthew Anus.

PK: If we can’t blindside Marthunis, we may as well blindside his name.

 

LUZON

DAY 14

Josie feels she has about five lives left and has dodged a lot of votes thus far.

Werner thinks Mindanao might opt to get rid of Marthunis at tonight’s Tribal Council.

 

TRIBAL COUNCIL #6

(SEAMUS)-(NEIL)-(STACEY)-(ACE)-(MURISCHA)

X

(ANNALIZE)-(JEANNE)-(JOSIE)-(KATINKA)-(MARTINEZ)-(PK)-(TEVIN)-(TONI)-(iiWERNERii)

We talk about Marthunis quitting because he is bored.

NICO: What you’re saying is this game is too tough for you?

MARTHUNIS: Yeah, I’ve hit my limit.

Nico confirms with Marthunis that he wants to quit.

NICO: As much as I hate to see you go, the last thing I want is somebody sitting here and they don’t want to be here. Grab your stuff and head on out.

MARTHUNIS: The torch?

NICO: Leave the torch.

Matthew’s Anus casually strolls off the set. Nobody says a word.

For the third time this season, Survivor SA copies Survivor NZ in the same week. On this occasion we see a player quit in both seasons during the double boot episode.

NICO: Mindanao, you came to Tribal Council thinking it’s a foregone conclusion. It’s not. We come to TC to vote tonight. Welcome to Tribal Council.

So. . .we were all wrong.

Half of us thought the Game Changers twist would repeat and one person goes home while the other half thought we would finally get “bottom two tribes each vote one person out separately”.

This is essentially a mix of the two twists.

Annalize says she was happy Marthunis wanted to quit because she feels like the odd one out. Toni says it is still Mindanao Strong. Josie and Annalize are on the bottom. We talk about Blue Blood. Purple Blood. Red Blood. Cougar Blood. Cow Blood.

NICO: Within this Blue Blood Tevin, is there a pecking order?

Well, Nico is doing his best to create an ounce of suspense.

TEVIN: We want someone from blue to win it.

JOSIE: . . .I have a very limited playbook right now.

NICO: Never give up in this game. Never.

Nico wants to inspire Annalize and Josie with a Rudy-like source of inspiration.

Tevin views Josie as being beautiful and smart and wishes she was on his tribe. PK wants to see them have an island romance.

NICO: Want to exchange numbers right now?

Tom already did with the spoon.

Let’s get down to business. Each tribe will vote out for one member in their own tribe. Whoa. Three people going home. Triple boot???? On day 14?  Wait a second. . .we’re getting an Aussie Switchakangaroo aren’t we?

Mindanao votes briefly. PK folds his vote in an odd manner.

Luzon votes seconds later. No votes are shown. They all share the same urn.

Nico asks if anybody would like to play an idol. . .nothing.

FIRST VOTE: JOSIE 🙁

SECOND VOTE: Josie

THIRD VOTE: Jozi

Who did Josie vote for?

NICO: You’ve voted Josie off your tribe but not out of the game. . .Josie, you need to bring me your buff.

Tevin grins.

Josie is now Mindanao.

FIRST VOTE: Annalize

SECOND VOTE: Annalyze

THIRD VOTE: ANNA (long message in small print)

Annalize is now on Luzon.

So. . .that changed nothing right?

NICO: We’re not done just yet. You now each pick one member from your former tribe to join you on your new tribe.

Josie picks Toni.

Annalize picks Katinka.

Has anything changed? I highly doubt it.

This was Tom and Palesa’s chance to be on different tribes without either person going home. They wish they had thrown the challenge. Tom could have been voted out onto a different tribe and pick the spoon to join him.

Next Time on Survivor SA: Tevin and Josie do it.

MARTHUNIS: People’s capabilities of dealing with people are a lot better than what mine is. . .it’s what caused all of the damage with all of the castaways and I hope they forgive me for that.

***

If Marthunis had been willing to stick it out for a few more minutes, he could have been put on the Luzon tribe and likely survive the next Tribal Council. He will likely never admit it, but I can guarantee you that he was kicking himself the moment he found out that he could have spent the remainder of the pre-merge phase on a tribe without Tevin and PK. Marthunis only quit because he didn’t think he assumed production would not borrow a two-time twist from Australian Survivor.

Marthunis’ social ineptitude was his biggest weakness in the game, but his presumptuous nature is what put himself out of the game. He was his own worst enemy.

Although Josie and Annalize have switched tribes and have brought Kat and Toni along with ’em, I presume this will not change any of the existing dynamics. With Marthunis gone, former Mindanao is in an extremely strong and united position.

Visayas, a tribe purely of former Luzon, has seen the tide change once again. The former enemies in Palesa and Tom are now working very well together in challenges, and now Chane has this deep hatred for everything Tom does around camp. She probably thinks the way he walks sucks too.

It looks like we have three tribes staying intact until the merge. Given the twist this episode, I believe it is safe to presume that the three tribe format will be in play for two more rounds. With three tribes of four, this is definitely possible as no tribe can dip below two members.

However, Marthunis presumed somebody had to be eliminated tonight and look what happened to him.

What did they do with Marthunis’ torch? Did Nico unleash a tiger-like level of ferociousness and snap it in half over his knee like Albert Belle and a baseball bat? I want to see that footage.

Werner has two idols. He should be set up for a big blindside post-merge as it all seems too damn good to be true for him right now. I bet he’ll miss Toni over the next few days.

Tom, Annalize, and Josie are all in trouble. Editors are making us think Tevin might protect Josie, but they are trying too hard to push that angle. Tevin, PK, and Toni are going to stick together.

Alright, that does it for this week’s Australian Survivor themed episode. I leave you with this:

What is Tom’s favorite band?

.

.

.

Lovin’ Spoonful.

See you next week!

 

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