Each week, Scott Gallagher breaks down the show minute by minute in Survivor Pop Culture Recap. It’s live blogging complete with commercial breaks.
Survivor Pop Culture Recap: The Assassination of Michaela James by the Coward Jay Ford
Welcome back everybody. I feel great right now! Mostly due to last week’s ending with Adam sucking it up and doing what was right not only for his game, not only for everybody else’s game, but for America. Basically, a vote for Figgy/Taylor staying in the game is a vote for: The Godfather Part Three, a vote for eating pizza with a fork, a vote for people who bring 14 items to the express line at the grocery store, a vote for being gluten-free, a vote for wearing socks in bed….I think you all get the idea. It was big! Thanks again, Adam…Thank you.
That leads us into tonight. It almost feels like a new game for me now. Because I was so focused on someone taking out Figgy/Taylor, now I’m free to enjoy the game. Like I said last week, my dream is for Ken, David, and Adam to all find a way to join forces and run this game to the end. The chances of this happening I know are not in my favor, but that is what I’m hoping for. I think I need to recalibrate and go over every player and where I think they stand heading into tonight. So, in no particular order:
Chris: The big broad-shouldered giant who is physically dominating the rest of the males whenever we get a competition with contact. It seems that he has been on the wrong side of every vote except for one. He seems as if he doesn’t have a lot of real deep thinking when it comes to the game. All of his plans seem very meat and potato-ish(whatever that means). I don’t see him making it to the end and I definitely see him in the jury, being pissed off about the players who are in the finals and holding a major disgusted grudge.
Bret: Basically a poor-man’s Chris. I don’t see anything really good happening for Bret. It seems like his days are numbered.
Jessica: I’m not sure if I can forgive her for her horrible instincts when she ran to Lucy to tell her about Ken which then caused David to have to burn his first idol…The intense looks she makes sometimes actually frighten me. Anybody with instincts that bad doesn’t deserve to win the game, but I do think if she sticks with Ken and David that she is going to make it far. It just depends if she tries to pull another move and jump ship because she won’t realize that she has it good right now.
Sunday: Sunday hasn’t really had a lot of “moments” this year. Each time we have seen her she is consoling someone. She is like the Survivor team soccer mom. I half expect her to hand out orange slices and Capri Suns to everyone after each competition. I’m not sure where her deep loyalties lie, or what she really wants to do, as she is primarily window dressing right now…Maybe that will change.
Zeke: Zeke seems like the guy that comes into Survivor so excited about experiencing everything it has to offer. Like the guy who plans a trip somewhere and has a 24/7 itinerary planned to see absolutely everything jam packed with no down time….AKA someone awful to travel with…I think slowly Zeke is going to be like the guy who goes to war and comes back a different man. I half expect to see Zeke look menacing looking at the camera smoking a cigarette all by himself…Like C Thomas Howell in Red Dawn:
I don’t hate Zeke or anything, I just think he is going to be used and then discarded…I don’t see him as ever being in the power position.
Will: Has Will done anything this season??? I don’t understand what is going on with him. He just awkwardly shows up from time to time in the background looking like he is constantly having an inner-monologue discussion with himself to “join the group” or to “fit in”. Will ain’t winning this season.
Adam: Adam to me is the best all-around player this season. I have a feeling that he might be the winner this season….Unless somehow, someway Taylor avenges Fig Newton’s Survivor death…..
Taylor: Speaking of which…Taylor seems a little Joffrey-ish to me…Like pre-becoming the king Joffrey. The super entitled Joffrey.
Okay, maybe he’s not that bad and maybe not having Figgy around anymore will show us a new Taylor who we can all learn to love……..
Jay: Jay is likable, but Jay doesn’t really standout to me in any major way as being someone we should all keep a close eye on as a potential winner of Survivor. Just sort of Blah with Jay.
Hannah: Hannah has shown that she is impulsive, which, if you are someone counting on her, could be disastrous. Hannah seems perpetually anxious and has zero chance at winning this game….Not trying to to be a d*ck, just saying the truth.
David: Mr Immunity Idol has grown on me. I like how David has settled into this game and now seems more confident to do what he needs to do in a way that isn’t completely transparent like he was at the start of the season. David could potentially win this game, which is shocking to write.
Ken: Every time Ken talks to someone one-on-one they need to play the “serious talk on Full House” music:
I’m pulling for Ken, but for whatever reason, he seems to be involved in any nomination for vote-out every week. I think unfortunately at some point that will catch up to him. I’m hoping, though, that David, Adam and Ken can link up and make some magic.
Michaela: Michaela is a beast in the competitions…However, she is not a “beast” in the social aspects of Survivor. She is becoming too much of a threat in the physical comps, but not doing enough socially to keep herself secure. Her days are numbered.
Don’t look at her in the eyes…She haunts my dreams. Michelle is ruthless, a cold-blooded Survivor killer. She is fun to watch play, but I don’t think she is going to win. I think she will do whatever she needs to do to stay in the game, which makes it entertaining to watch her play. Just know that she frightens me.
Okay, so that is where my mind is at as we head into tonight’s episode. Let’s hope we get a good one tonight. Here we go! It’s 8 pm Portland, Oregon time.
Previously on Survivor:
We get to relive the glorious Figgy demise again and let me tell you, it never gets old. I would formally like to say thank you to Adam again….Thank you, Adam…Thank you.
We jump right into post tribal council with Adam approaching Taylor, who is open to talking to Adam but clearly he’s a little hostile. Adam explains to Taylor why he did what he did.
Adam, in my opinion, is doing a little too much overacting with his “agreeing” with Taylor that he “screwed him”. I know he has to play nice, but I wish Adam would just say “Look, Taylor, you were in a fully outed f**king showmance, dude! I mean what did you expect me or anyone in my position to do? Wake the eff up and start playing Survivor. I’ve given you a reprieve in this game, so pull up your big girl panties and man the hell up.” Adam took the other approach.
Is this a record for how quickly we have gone into our first commercial break??? Anyways, the World Series is on right now and it’s high drama. Game 7 and the cursed Cubs just gave up a three run lead in the 8th inning. I wonder if any of you are watching this game as well. Trying to write this blog and watch the World Series game 7 at the same time is daunting, let me tell you. Baseball, when it comes to the playoffs, is a Shakespearean type of drama that unfolds. Nothing beats playoff baseball…..
Back from break, we join Zeke, David and Michelle all enjoying a cup of rice. David thinks the next move is throwing Michelle off the island next, but he doesn’t trust Chris to stick to that plan, so he decides to confide in Zeke that he wants to become BFF.
David tells Zeke that he has the idol…Couldn’t he have just said that he wanted to work with Zeke until the end instead of telling him that he has an idol???
Okay, we’re already heading to the reward challenge. Everybody sees that Figgy is gone and people are a little stunned, especially when Michaela coldy shares that Figgy should have been gone long ago….She really needs to work on her poker face.
Taylor’s reaction to Michaela was somewhere between his dog died and being told that Donald Trump is with Figgy alone at an ocean view bungalow.
The reward for this challenge is having a chef come back to camp as he fixes up a huge meal for them. Now this sounds like a legit reward.
Jeff: “You got to work together to release those balls”….Insert joke that would get me fired from this site.
Jeff: “Work together to get those balls out”….Okay, Jeff are you trying to get me into trouble here or what?
This is my sort of challenge, shooting baskets. Everybody is reasonably close to each other this challenge. For the food they are playing for, I would probably mug a helpless elderly couple…..Forgive me.
Team Chris comes in first place.
Team Michaela comes in second place.
Team Ken comes in third place. L.
Michaela once again looks like a real threat in all these competitions and points out to us that she is aware of this and doesn’t want to be “that person” who is a threat…It almost seems like some foreshadowing, no?
How many years is CBS going to trot out Big Bang Theory? Wouldn’t you say that most sitcom comedies have a shelf life of 5 seasons tops? After that, it turns into what Modern Family has become, which is just a cartoon version of what it once was. Every character becomes the most extreme versions of himself/herself, where when the show first started they had those subtle characteristics. After time it just gets to dialed up to where everything is just so forced and not funny. I’ve never watched Big Bang Theory. It just never peaked my interest. It always seemed too unrealistic, but I imagine that it can’t be as good as it once “was”. Maybe I’m wrong.
Back from break, we join the winning orange team being greeted by their chef and some real good looking food.
Zeke and the rest of the boys attack the food like a lamb to a pack of wolves. Chris is openly farting for forty-five straight seconds…Has to be a Survivor record.
Next we join team Purple with Ken giving a heart to heart talk with Taylor about politics. Taylor tries to hang with an intellectual giant like Ken and is not up to the challenge, as he brings it back to the Millennial vs Generation X theme that we are, by law, I guess forced to have to hear at least seven times an episode this season.
Jessica gets feedback from Taylor about Adam screwing him last episode and I’m already getting annoyed with Jessica again, because you can see her doing something that is going to irritate this game from a mile away. She’s just one of those Survivor players who always chooses the wrong the way in the fork of the road Survivor moments.
Next we join the loser green team as they have no food to bond over, so instead, we listen to Michaela seriously compare herself to Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs….Okay, Michaela, settle down…
Hannah breaks down the dynamics of the tribe. She is onto Bret who for some reason is lying about being a cop and chooses funeral director as his alias job. Why is Bret doing this? Has this been discussed? Why would you choose such a randomly unique job as your cover? Why can’t you say that you’re a cop? Are people going to be: “Wait this guy’s a cop. Let’s all stop and hit pause and not do anything until we get this guy out…I mean, we can’t have a cop in this game!”?????
Hannah exactly calls out that Bret is a cop. She shares her theory with Jay, Will and Michaela who agree with Hannah. Great plan, Bret…Quite the ingenious move.
So there is this new Harry Potter type movie? Is this in the same Harry Potter Universe? Is this like years before Harry Potter is born? Is it completely unrelated? Are there going to be six or seven sequels to this to? Can somebody please tell me what is going on?
We’re back and it’s time for the Immunity Challenge. Wow, another basketball themed competition in which they need to shoot coconuts into a net and eventually the net will drop.
The purple team shoots itself into first place early. They get to shoot the coconuts at their colored targets, which is the second part of the challenge. They are looking good.
Ken slingshots the purple team to the winners’ circle as they win and are safe from Tribal tonight!
Chris then shoots the orange team to safety.
The green team of Michaela, Bret, Hannah, Will, Sunday and Jay are headed to tribal. And god knows who the target is tonight.
Hey, look at that. Mel Gibson has a movie coming out, Hacksaw Ridge:
I don’t know if I can stand Eduardo from Social Network, doing an over-the-top Southern accent for two hours. Did you watch that? He might be attempting to take Kevin Costner’s crown from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves for worst accent ever performed in cinematic history. I’m serious. I can’t get over how distracting that accent is in that trailer. There is no way I would be able to sit through that movie. Someone tell me in a few weeks if I was wrong.
Back from break and we join the green team in awkward silence. It looks like we don’t know what the plan is. Sunday feels like it’s either her or Bret going.
Sunday and Bret go off and talk and know that they have to vote for each other. They seemed resigned to their fate.
Michaela using rock props explains to everybody how this vote doesn’t matter, because the Millennials have the numbers come merge. They plan on splitting the vote in case there is an idol. They say once the tie happens that they will vote out Bret..Hmmmmm seems too easy……No drama.
Yep, there we go…Jay comes up with an epiphany that Michaela is too smart and too dangerous and that she should go tonight.
Will seems like he is on board with this plan and here we go as I think he is just shocked that he may get to be a part of a big move.…We may have some drama tonight after all.
We head to tribal……Something is in the air.
Michaela tempting fate speaks up first, talking about how the other tribes have “sketchy people” but her team here is very trustworthy….Oh boy, this is going to end very badly tonight for Michaela, isn’t it?
Basically, everybody is holding up the company line on one of the Gen Xers going home but it seems like a massive blindside of Michaela is happening.
Michaela seals her tempting fate death warrant a little bit more by discussing Bret and Sunday being at the bottom of the food chain…
We go to the votes:
Michaela-The second vote for Michaela sparks her looking at Jay, who steely eyed stares back at her…Michaela asks Jay if he cast the vote for her…Coldly, he nods..They both then stare at each other for about ten seconds before Michaela turns away in disgust. This just got ugly…I thought Michaela was going to grab Jay like Fredo in The Godfather: Part II.
We go to the final vote:
Michaela is voted out…..Wow!
Wow! That was kind of brutal. Michaela getting the blindside of blindsides…I kind of feel sorry for her, but from a game standpoint if I was playing I would want to get her out. Only time will tell if that was the right time or not, but make no mistake, maybe the biggest overall competition player is now out of the game. Jay gets major points for orchestrating that move. Jay, to me, is the kind of the leader of the Millennials need now and if he can make it to the merge, he might have some momentum with him. Granted, the Millennials overall suck in this game.
The Gen Xers are laying low and showing resilience. The Millennials are being impulsive and are somewhat imploding. There has been so much backstabbing and bloc voting that the backstretch of this season is setting up very nicely. The strongest bonds might win out, meaning maybe the group to watch for really is: David, Ken, Zeke, and Adam (I’m just including him here because he has to go with them…just has to). Jessica…Jessica is the person who is going to ruin this….I can see it coming from a mile away. Jessica is going to think that she needs to jump ship and she’ll make a bad move that will probably enable someone like Taylor or Bret to win the game somehow. Maybe that’s a little dramatic on my part, but I think you get my point.
Tonight was fun! A major player got taken out and all the people I’m rooting for survived. To me, right now the power ranking is as follows:
Those are the three for me. Let me know if you disagree or think someone else needs to be in the top three. Thanks for reading. See you next week!