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Casual Survivor: Holla @ Cha Buoy

Casual Survivor: Holla @ Cha Buoy

Seriously, if David had yelled at it, maybe it would not have run away! By the way, I am of the vocal minority of Americans who pronounce “buoy” like “boy”. We do pronounce it my way in the word “buoyancy” so what gives? My theory is that the pronunciation changed rampantly after David Bowie entered the music scene. A lot of people pronounced his name in a similar fashion to the way they say “buoy”. Suffice it to say, comic relief ensues during the summer along the coast when people say things like “lobster buoys” and tourists look for boys in the water. I suppose since I am from New England, a lot of our small-scale regional dialect is an aberration of the original British pronunciation. Oh well, it is what it is , but I must admit I cringe listening to Jeff’s pronunciation.

Welcome back to Casual Survivor. I love tribe swaps because it tests the social game more than anything else unless one is on the green tribe, Ikabula, in which case it tests your mental and physical strength, too.

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Isn’t It Ironic?

Oh, sweet irony! How thou dost tease me! Two bumps on a log of players, Sunday and Cece, failed to see a log with the tribe’s logo! That hidden idol log looked amazing. I anxiously awaited the arrival of Brody Jenner to whisk away the green screen at the end. Of course, David had found the idol, but I am still in awe of how real that log looked. Then again, this season, the grainy effect is in place even on photos of the cast. I can take better photos and that is not saying much. Is production too cheap to spring for someone besides a guy using his phone? Come on, Jeff. You oughta know better.

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Add It Up

It’s Week 5 of Millennials vs. Gen X and we have a morphing of tribes from two to three. I am happy the switch came at a number which is not evenly divisible by three like fifteen players so it was a not fully anticipated swap to three tribes, and as a cynical casual mentioned this week, thankfully the ladies were not wearing their buffs as tube tops which, he went on to say, meant they knew already. I suggest just watching and not worrying about rigging until the challenge.

Vanua, Takali and Ikabula have interesting compositions but Takali is pretty strong overall. It was sweet to see Figtails on the same tribe. I wonder if they’ll have the same zeal for one another when they have other forms of entertainment off of the island. I can’t see Taylor living where there is no snowboarding but I guess Figgy could tend bar anywhere. Then Taylor could be enthused that he has his girl, snowboarding, and a drink. I guess he loves his lifestyle and he’s happy making do with a $100 bill, y’all.

Life doesn’t get any better and I am cheering for our couple. Jack Donaghy once said about immigrants: “The first generation works their fingers to the bone making things; the next generation goes to college and innovates new ideas. The third generation… snowboards and takes improv classes.” Jack, meet Taylor. Taylor, please do not go.  I need more perspective on the game from the snowboarder as I may learn a thing or two about living in the moment.

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We Are the Champions

David makes most of us look like triathletes and I thank him for that. Chris and Zeke agonized as he flopped about like a fish out of water in the water. Hearing the theme from Jaws play and remembering the scene in which Jason Voorhees jumps up from the water, David became terror-stricken and his fear permeated the water to the extent that even Chris seemed to have his confidence shaken. Finally, as if commanded via remote control by Jeff himself (Maybe), the buoy rolled back in the water where David had to retrieve it. Unfortunately for David, his emergence from the water had neither the sexiness of Phoebe Cates nor the grace of Michael Phelps. He looked like something the guys from Deadliest Catch would throw back in. At least he felt he was under pressure a bit.

Cece, on the other hand, has a new attitude toward sports. Our Gen Xer did not swim to win nor work hard nor tap out; she with the “I want it all” attitude expects her participation trophy! It doesn’t matter that three people on the other tribe crossed the balance beam before her last week or that Chris nearly had a stroke waiting for her to finish swimming. She finished the way she wanted to, and the whole tribe should be happy she did not quit… except the whole tribe lost. At least she wasn’t sent to her room for this episode like Will.

Like a puppy that looks up with soulful eyes as you gently remind it to use the newspaper, Cece doesn’t get that her tribemates are fed up. She fails to comprehend that Survivor is a game in which you must keep yourself alive. She wants her trophy and that brings on the sad eyes because she’ll never get one from Chris. That, or she shudders to share losers’ lodge with Paul and Lucy who must have schedules up on the walls by now. Poor Cece– at least Rachel and Mari are there. I’d love to say gone too soon but she should have been gone two weeks ago. Another one bites the dust…finally.

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Return of the Mack

Poor Adam can’t get a break. You could see him moan and groan when he saw the Millennials on his tribe. He’s now the fifth wheel on the love tribe. While Ken and Jessica are not exactly living the macklife, they are a close pair. Figgy and Taylor are another story. Taylor playfully mouthed, “You’re hot” to Figgy, which she mistakenly read as “Ken’s hot.” Figgy blushed and agreed, but Adam who had Marlee Matlin signing for him scowled like no one’s business. What Figgy and Taylor do not know is that Adam wants Ken all to himself so they can have a nickname like “Aden”. Ken must not join the Pretty People Alliance and Adam will see to that.

Adam finally makes his move to win over Ken and it works. Ken feels like a big brother to the Millennials and especially likes Adam. In fact, Ken treats Adam as if he is part of the Big Brother program and Ken is his mentor. Once he learns of Adam’s job, the two of them will go off into the jungle and build homeless shelters, perhaps for the Ikabula tribe since Jay is a construction party of one. A perfect bromance is born!

The profound statement of the evening, however, was made by Taylor. Yes, Taylor! Taylor did not understand why he and Figgy as a couple were any more dangerous than a power duo like Jessica and Ken. He didn’t names names, but his point is that power duos are equally dangerous. The only part he failed to consider is that most power duos do not strategize by making out in full view of everyone else. Michaela would not approve.

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All Men Are Liars

When someone writes your name down twice, you target him. When he has written your name down or instructed others to do so nearly every vote except the one where he finally switched target only to have your ally blindside him, you wring his neck. If you happen to be Cece, you vote with him and trust him completely. Cece believes a leopard can change its spots which is refreshing because forgiveness is a good thing but it does not bode well on Survivor.

Michelle as a Millennial found it hard to believe that the Gen Xers were not targeting her. She went to Cece to talk strategy and Cece played the “You won’t get anything out of me” game. I have to hand it to the men. They said to Michelle that she should not worry about what she hears at Tribal and they let Cece believe she was safe because sometimes you’ve got to be cruel to be kind… but in the right measure. And so it goes. Michelle was not given the chance to whisper this time, so she stated clearly that David should go. Then she voted for Cece anyways. Maybe she was looking at Cece’s facial expression for a hint, but 3-2 does not add up to sending David home.

Michelle really has strange tactics. I wonder if she is trying to be true to her faith by not plotting in secret but doing so publicly. What’s so funny ‘bout peace, love, and understanding, you ask? Nothing. It just is not a philosophy to adapt for Survivor.  How dumb is it to tell David you think he should be the target? And in the Millennials’ Tribal, she alienated Zeke and Adam and now Zeke is in a solid alliance with Chris. Next week, Michelle will likely be nutted by reality.

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Twenty contestants, thirty-nine days, three hours of swimming for Cece and David to return back to shore before Tribal…This is Casual Survivor…

Some of our casual viewers are in need of a reality nutting. This week, complaints were mostly about how the swap kills the theme which many of them enjoy. The same fans that enjoy this season’s theme probably yell at children for playing loudly during daylight hours and Figgy and Michelle would be the children according to their comments about them..

Archetype: I Hate Change

Having three tribes is stupid. Why not just two? This is one “twist” I like. It separated some allies and will test the social games of players.

Now half of the players are completely on the bottom. I get the context of what he means, but aren’t half of the players on the bottom each week if we must be literal?

I do not like the tribe switch. I tuned in for Gen X vs. Millennials not mixed up tribes. This ruined everything! This is why we have themed seasons and cannot remember the tribe names anymore, people. Technically, it’s Millennials vs. Gen X.

Merging on Day 36 is too soon in the game. The game is thirty-nine days long. They merge at final three and that’s too soon?! I hope it was autocorrect for his sake because it was Day 13 for the swap. How could it be autocorrect?

Figgy needs to be separated from the guy who protects her. Taylor protects Figgy as a meat shield but she has been targeted. I’m assuming he means Taylor, but who knows.

Sunday needs to go next! Her tribe won. What did she do wrong? She knew she could not dive down again so she swam to the platform. Her tribe finished first. And besides, she’s a neat lady!

One angry lady mentioned that Michelle had a “hoochie shot” while another said that Michelle is evil. She was beloved for weeks and now that she is in the bottom (which clearly half of the players are), the angry mob turns on her. Michaela, on the other hand, had lots of praise and love as did Ken, David, Jessica and to some degree Chris.

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Right now, Michaela looks good but they showed her sassy side again and now I’m worried. Everybody saw her competitive fierceness in the last few challenges and she will be a target at the merge. With Cece out, Vanua may be able to pull a win next week. If the challenge involves a puzzle, Ikabula may end up losing and the Gen Xers will be down in numbers not that it really matters since Chris, Ken, and Jessica are forging new alliances.

Which player are you rooting for? Which one do you think will win? Did the swap make you angry? Whom would you like to see voted off first, Figgy or Taylor?

Did you catch any of the song titles from Ice Cube, Alanis Morissette, the Violent Femmes, Queen, Mark Morrison, and Nick Lowe which, in some cases, were forced into the text? Let me know in the comments.


For the complete schedule of Survivor blogs: RHAP Survivor Blog Schedule.

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