The Celebrity Apprentice

Guest Post: The Unintentional Comedy Gold of Teresa Giudice

A Celebrity Apprentice guest post from Jordan Kalish

Picking this week’s MVP is not an easy task.  The logical choice would be Lisa due to her lashing out at Dayana.  However, she won it last week for basically the same reason, except for the fact that it was Lou Ferrigno who incurred her wrath.  I wouldn’t want to become predictable.  Aubrey had some funny comments as always and Clay was pretty good during the puppet show, but I’ve decided to give the award to someone who I never thought I’d talk about much on this blog.

Episode 9 MVP: Teresa Giudice 

Teresa Giudice might be the dumbest person I’ve ever seen on a reality TV show.  Given that I’ve been watching members of the Monono tribe play Survivor for two months, this is quite an accomplishment.  When this season started, I thought we’d be getting an abrasive character like NeNe Leaks.  Instead we have this Real Housewife who has the personality of a bewildered three year old.  I don’t think anyone else in the world would have been so excited by the idea to name a puppet ‘Fabulina’.

While she isn’t intentionally funny like Adam Carolla, Lisa, and Aubrey, her dim antics had me laughing throughout the episode.  While trying to come up with puppet ideas, she originally wanted to go with a ‘different’ name like Rhianna or Beyonce.  Yes, naming puppets after two of the biggest current music stars is very creative.  She would have suggested naming it Debbie Gibson as well, but wanted to avoid a four-alarm dump during the show.

Teresa proved she doesn’t know how to count while learning how to use the puppet.  I still don’t think she knows that the word ‘seven’ has two syllables.  Somehow, while trying to improvise about cleaning supplies, her best attempt was coming up with a parmesan cheese roller.  If she thinks that cheese is a cleaning supply, I wonder if she uses Windex as an ingredient in her cookbook.

Until now, The Celebrity Apprentice hasn’t been a game in which strategic play determines who stays and who goes.  As Richard Hatch alluded to in the Reality Rally interview with Rob, Trump tends to fire people on a whim.  However, Teresa’s strategy of naming her daughter Milania*, after Trump’s wife, seemed to be one of the reasons he fired Paul Sr. instead.  Pregnant celebrities should take note.

*Teresa most likely named her daughter after the Italian city Milan, which according to her cookbook ‘Fabulicious’, is her other daughter Gia’s favorite city.  Therefore my previous paragraph about Teresa coming up with strategy is moot.

Subtle Editing Jabs At Dayana

While Lisa was pretty mean to Dayana, the editors weren’t much kinder.  After Lisa told her that she was too hard to understand to be in the show, she got subtitled in her next confessional.  Later, they showed a close-up of her while Lisa and Clay were puppeting about vapid models.

Unintentional Inappropriate Comments

-Trump to Penn: “You were pretty big, I would say you’re pretty big.”

-Trump to Clay: “You’re actually not a small guy.”  Clay: “I used to be small.”

-“Puppet Up!”

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