Survivor NZ: Thailand

Survivor NZ: Thailand — “The Four Dimensions of Defeat”

SURVIVOR NZ: THAILAND Episode 4: “The Four Dimensions of Defeat”

Previously on Survivor NZ: A desperate Chani fought for its first challenge win, but Eve made a tactical error with their prize. unleashing idol envy among her tribemates. Over at Khangkhaw, Tess shared her hidden immunity idol with Brad and he snatched the idol for his Tight/Invisible Five alliance. Dylan found himself isolated from his tribe. Once again, Chani failed to win/participate in the immunity challenge and faced their third Tribal Council in a row, but a light scramble couldn’t stop a blondeside.




They agree Franky’s exit was extremely gracious. Renee is sad that her partner is gone and the Boys Club will send her home next round.

Dave feels like shit and hopeless because he couldn’t shift the vote away from Franky.

A full intro. Hooray.






















DAY 10

I feel like the day numbers are inconsistent again in the Survivor NZ universe.

LIAM: At least one point per day I go “holy shit, I am in Thailand playing Survivor”.

I feel like Liam has a lot of ‘holy shit’ moments.

Everyone brushes their teeth with black tar prior to eating dung beans, rice, and some other holy shit.



DAY 10

Five of the players are sitting on Dylan’s rice hill with him. Dylan continues his four-episode storyline of not feeling safe. We cut to everyone being in the shelter except for Dylan who is on his trademark hill.

Adam and Tess laugh in the shelter about Dylan still being miserable. He goes into Dylan’s dimensions. One is Happy Dylan where he is exceptionally energetic, then second dimension is Sneaky Dylan where he quietly talks to his allies on his raft, third dimension is Sulky Dylan where he sits quietly on his hill.

ADAM: And fourth dimension, which I haven’t seen yet, is Sassy Dylan. . .I’m sure it’ll come up.

TESS: If he’s gone, who will we take the piss out of?

Kathy after a jellyfish sting.

Dylan and Kaysha play pattycake on a raft as Dylan contemplates why Dylan’s watermelon is keen on hating Dylan’s Draft Dodger hat guts.

DYLAN: I trust Kaysha explicitly.

Wanna try that word again, Dylan? Or could you care less? Perhaps listen to ‘Tony Danza’ by Elton John while you’re at it, too.

Lisa listens to Dylan’s narrative being that one alliance is the Cool Kids (Beefcakes + Adam + Tess) versus The Outcasts. She disregards this narrative and doesn’t think it’s true (even though we’ve heard countless confessionals from the majority that it is). Tara likes the safety net where Dylan is such an obvious target.

Josh and Tara have a brief conversation as he has a confessional.

JOSH: I’m almost itching to go to Tribal Council. I don’t like losing, but I wouldn’t be disappointed to lose. . .I want to test the alliances. Sometimes it’s good to lose and shake things up.

Wow. I predicted this at the end of episodes two and three that the majority alliance would want to throw an immunity challenge by round four.



Khangkhaw laughs at Franky being voted out.

DYLAN: By the looks of it, the opposition doesn’t like strong females.

EVE: Then he doesn’t think Renee and I aren’t strong females.

DYLAN: You might be next to go.

That is First Dimension Dylan.

The reward challenge is Sumo At Sea. Or rather, Sumo At Mud. You know how it is. Use a padded beanbag to knock your opponent off of a platform. Last one standing on the platform scores a point. First to ten wins reward. Yikes. Nothing being edited out.

Chisholm tells ’em what they’re playing for: Tea, coffee, biscuits. More than a week’s worth.

The sit out rules change to not sitting out the same people in back-to-back challenges. Most likely because so many women are out of the game and renders this impossible for the format.



JT BRUTALIZES JOSH AND WHOOPS A CAN OF WHOOP ASS! Nah, JT  gives his back and is quickly knocked in. Point Khangkhaw.

Josh nearly loses his leg from the knee down when stuck in the mud on the way back to the bench.



The two women spin more than a dancing Turkish Dervish as Renee eventually pushes Tess in.




Dylan can’t answer Arun’s strikes. Dylan goes in. Arun offers a low five but Dylan puts his hands up to resist.

DYLAN: He kicked me. I don’t want to high five.

CHISHOLM: I didn’t see the kick.

Neither did I. Would Antonio Banderas’ clone really kick you?



We see the worst camera angles for this matchup that I can’t commentate on it. Dave looks sloopy and is quickly finished.

CHISHOLM: He is in the drink!

You can’t drink that mud.




Eve looks like she is gonna charge but it’s all Kaysha. Slaughter.




Liam is on the edge many times but has really good traction and balance. So much spinning. This is intense. Liam refuses to give up until Matt grows like a maniac and pushes Liam. Matt had too much muscle.




Josh pins Dave to the ground but stands up. Dave tries to push down on Josh’s body with the padding but Josh uses the centre of gravity to toss him. Terrible technique by Dave. Low centre of gravity is key, folks. He tosses the beanbag in frustration.




Eve gets abused for about fifteen seconds around the ring until Tess uses one last burst to have Eve land back first in the mud.




Lots of low hits. Both guys are using a lot of power. It’s like Mario Tennis growls. Arun shoves Matt in. Matt gets some major air.




Liam wins the point somehow. We barely see it.




Renee loses sight of the edge of the mat and walks off without realizing it.




Error 404. No cans of whoop ass to be found. Easy point for Adam.




Liam whoops Dylan. He has scored two-third of the team’s points.




Kaysha dismantles Renee’s lack of power pretty quickly. Renee always has her back to the platform when she steps into the mud.




Arun gets Josh on the ground and keeps smothering Josh’s face with the mud repeatedly. It does nothing. Josh casually stands up then uses bursts of energy to push an exhausted Arun into the mud.

Challenge over.

Khangkhaw is now 8-1 in challenges.

CHISHOLM: Chani is pound for pound the lighter tribe, but played, I reckon, with plenty of heart.

That’s a big change of tune since his insult at Tribal Council.

EVE: I’m gutted. . .I grew up with two sisters. Not a lot of rock-ups at my house.


Kaysha says she had to fight for her place on a team, unlike Eve.

CHISHOLM: Khangkhaw, come and grab The Smoker.

The Smoker??? The statue from season 4 of The Amazing Race during the Amsterdam leg???? A f–king statue is their reward?

It reminds me: I wonder how excited a tribe would be if marijuana was a reward? Like, if it was legal in whatever country Survivor was filmed in for the season?

Renee is unhappy with their eighth challenge loss.



DAY 10

They risked it for the biscuit, and Matt nearly loses it over the biscuit. Wait, that’s Brad. Too many manbuns. Tess bounces when she eats a biscuit. They eat three rounds of biscuits. Easier on Kaysha’s stomach than the brownies and Chisholm’s fizz.



DAY 10

They talk about Dylan’s accusation of the kick. Renee notes the Boys Club alliance. Wasn’t Eve the one who targeted Franky and vice versa? And Franky wanted to use Renee as a decoy too. You’re just self-destructing, ladies. Boys ain’t got nothin’ to do with it.

Chani vows to win a challenge. Good luck with that.



DAY 11

Kaysha has picked up on two power couples. Brad and Josh are one couple and the other is Adam and Tess.

KAYSHA: She is definitely the shining star on our team. She’s gorgeous. . .I know she has to be the target because she’s got the boys captivated.

Yes, Tess is like what Fergie is to the Black Eyed Peas.

Kaysha brands Matt as the Unseasoned Character. She pulls him aside at the water well. My hair is slightly longer than Matt’s.

Matt tells us he is closer to Kaysha and is comfortable around her, but still doesn’t trust her fully. He thinks Kaysha could be ready to blindside somebody with an idol or with an idol Dylan might have.

So even though the Tight Five has an idol, Matt is convinced a second idol is in play at camp? Did production tell them multiple hidden immunity idols can be claimed by a tribe pre-merge before any of them are used? This could get excessive fast.

Brad retrieves mail from the Outpost. One member must go. Everyone woos. One of seven sticks need to be drawn. He always picks the last one.

ADAM: Dylan is definitely not going to Outpost. I’ll make sure of that.

Tess attempts to rig the sticks, but Kaysha takes over with the sticks. Plan foiled.

Brad sees Kaysha turning her back to everyone for too long when fixing the sticks. Brad is paranoid Kaysha is being devious like with the brownie lie. Once again, the accusation of deception is unfounded as Josh draws the Magic Stick. Kaysha is bummed none of the Outcasts are going.



DAY 11

You know who is bright enough to rig the sticks? JT. He puts the longest stick on the left hand side as Arun draws it. The Kiwi Kangaroo Court is over as Arun gets to go to Outpost this time. JT feels Arun is a huge threat to win this game, but is risking to invest trust in Arun for now to improve the situation on Chani.



Arun and Josh low five. Josh views this as best case scenario. He wanted Arun or Dave for some reason. No idea why since he knows nothing about Chani.

No challenge today. It’s a dilemma. Somebody has to sit out of the next immunity challenge. Not just sit out of the challenge, but doesn’t even go to watch the challenge. Furthermore, whoever doesn’t go to the challenge is immune from Tribal Council.

Arun and Josh have a casual chat.

ARUN: Is there a divide?

JOSH: It’s perceived as the boys running it, but Kaysha is quite strong.

ARUN: Who is running the show?

JOSH: It’s an even thing cause we haven’t gone to Tribal. We really need to go to Tribal.

ARUN: We want you to go to Tribal!

JOSH: Dylan doesn’t offer much. He is probably the outsider and is going around lying to everyone.

ARUN: You keen to go in an alliance with me?

JOSH: . . .

ARUN: . . .

(CHISHOLM grinning.)

JOSH: Um, f–k. . . .

ARUN: . . .

ARUN (confessional): No one should trust me.

JOSH: Yeah. Yeah.

ARUN: The long game?

JOSH: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ARUN: Yeah. That works well.

Josh thinks Arun is a good person to have in his alliance post-merge because he is pulling strings at Chani. Ummmm, what?

JOSH: I want to go to the merge with the strongest players. I don’t want any weak ones.

ARUN: Who are the weak players?

JOSH: Lisa. Tara. Dylan. It’s obvious. Most of our guys quite strong besides Dylan.

Dylan is quite the punching bag. His Dodgers hat is his only protection.

ARUN: Everyone plays a different game on our tribe. There’s a divide but nobody knows what the divide is. It’s a trainwreck over there.

JOSH: Do you trust JT?

ARUN: That’s a hard one. Is Tess with you guys?

JOSH: We’ll find out at our first vote.

JOSH (confessional): Knowledge is power in this game. He won’t know about our five here. He doesn’t need to know about that for a long time.

You just told him your four weak players and that you don’t want your weak making it into the merge. I think Arun has it figured out.

Chisholm chimes in saying they have thirty seconds to decide. Josh proposes that they could offer up sitting themselves out of the challenge. Josh is asked.

Josh sits himself out; Arun feels he is too useful to sit out, and sit Eve out because Chani needs to win one.

ARUN: It’s good to have fingers in different pies.

Why is this analogy being used multiple times?

JOSH: Not a rock solid alliance but Arun won’t know that until it is too late.

And you won’t know the information given up to him until it is too late.



DAY 11

Arun is 100% honest about what the dilemma is.


Yes, Senator Clay Davises.

Arun tells them that Josh nearly sat out Brad, and presumes it is because of a tight connection, and opted to sit himself out then reveals Eve is sitting out. Eve is offended at first, but is OK to be perceived as weak. Not to mention Chani is f–ked if Eve has to swim in another immunity challenge.

You know who doesn’t like Eve sitting out? Renee. This guarantees she is dead.

Arun tells them that Josh acted like he wanted to go to Tribal Council.

DAVE (confessional): I’m thinking there’s more to the story. If he doesn’t tell me more I’ll be disappointed because I was hoping him and I could stay as strong as we could.

I love the natural suspicion that Outpost brings.



DAY 11

Everyone applauds Josh for sitting himself out of the challenge. How noble.

Kaysha sees only Brad, Matt, Tess, and Adam smiling while he talks. Adam has concern when he realizes Eve is sitting out for Chani while Josh is sitting out for his tribe. . .but then we get the second dimension of Adam.

ADAM: I’m not too fussed about losing. I think we need to cut some people out and it rhymes with Smesha and Shmylan. I’m over them. One of them needs to go.

And the player rhyming with Shmadam is devoted to the Tight Five.



Arun and Dylan feel the stakes of this challenge.

CHISHOLM: First things first Tara, I’ll take Old Mate back.

Such a Kiwi nickname for an idol.

For today’s challenge, four tribe members will be chained together by their ankles. Two of the four will have a wrist tied to a pole. After untying knots, they must navigate their way through a obstacle course untying bags of balls and chains. Once at the mat, they’ll open the bags to make Grant Bowlers for the remaining tribe member to toss them at a ladder in a classic game of ladder toss. First tribe to land three Grant Bowlers on the ladder wins immunity.

Khangkhaw has to sit out three people yet again. Adam, Kaysha, and Dylan are sitting out.

CHISHOLM: Sweet, let’s crack into it.

We commence!

Tess and Matt are attached to the pole for Khangkhaw; Dave and Renee for Chani. Liam looks confused by the challenge. Chani are first to be released as they chant together walking through the wooden brackets like they are a bunch of boy scouts. Tess eventually releases her knot. It’s a solid one minute lead for Chani. Maybe even more.

Matt gets very physical with JT and Arun as they are untying the bags in the same space. Chisholm shouts at them to play nice.

Chani escapes with the bags as Khangkhaw has two more to untie. The lead grows as they reach the second area where bags are being untied. Khangkhaw is slowly walking to the same spot. Chani gets away with all of their bags seconds before Khangkhaw show up.

Arun is designated as the Grant Bowler Tosser. Lisa is stumbling as Khangkhaw tries to walk with all of their bags to the mat. Brad is the tosser for Khangkhaw.

Arun is taking a lot of time to untie the bags and put together the Grant Bowlers. Chisholm notes Brad is untying very slowly. Arun lands one. Misses two. Then he lands a second one. Brad is at a snail pace, or Chani’s typical pace. Arun easily lands the third bowler.

TESS: I’m feeling a wee bit bad about my performance.

A wee bit. Or not at all.

KAYSHA (confessional): I’m livid. It was a big ballzap. Tess was pathetic on the rope. I know she did and I want her to know that I know she threw the challenge on purpose.

Chisholm asks what the key was to Chani’s success. Renee says it was working as a unit. . .or the fact three out of five players blatantly threw the challenge and sat out their strongest member at camp.



DAY 12

Kaysha knows Tess won’t go home, but wants to create enough doubt to trigger Tess to play her idol.

Tess talks to Adam about Kaysha throwing her name out there. Adam assures her that a majority of the people will be saving her this round. Meanwhile Tess is SO STRESSIN’ and is paranoid. She is also paranoid about Dylan having the mystery extra idol that doesn’t exist.

TESS: I’m worried about Matt cause he’s with Kaysha.

Tess needed to watch more Survivor to adjust to the level of paranoia heading into Tribal Council.

Josh frontstabs Dylan and informs him he shall be voted out of the game, but others will scramble anyway.

Josh has an extended confessional that doesn’t make him the most likable.

Tess approaches Brad.

TESS: So I’m the f–king scapegoat.

She’s gonna melt down worse than a Salvator Dali independent film. This is fantastic. Twelve days of paranoia floodgates is pouring into the open.

Kaysha’s plan is to save Dylan; she tells Dylan about the idol rumour and using it as a trick to create a split vote, and use the vote split to gather the Outcasts together.

Kaysha’s target: Adam. Oh boy. Wouldn’t that be delicious.

Brad, Matt, Tara, and Kaysha talk together to eliminate Dylan. Matt doesn’t think Dylan has an idol because he keeps looking. Kaysha wonders if there should be a contingency plan in case Dylan has an idol. Matt’s lightbulb goes off that they’ll need a split vote. Who is the backup? Lisa? But she’s good at puzzles. So no. Kaysha thinks Adam should be the backup vote because Adam has a knee injury. Brad is hesitant to do it. Matt tells Kaysha to be the one to vote for Adam while everyone writes down Dylan.

So yeah. Kaysha’s plan doesn’t work. The only vote splitting is Kaysha’s. They are back to square one. Kaysha instructs Dylan to spend the remainder of the afternoon hunting for an idol.

Brad whispers to Lisa that they aren’t “buying Kaysha’s yarn”. Wouldn’t it be wool?

BRAD (to LISA): If Dylan has an idol, therefore Kaysha and Matt are going to vote “Adam”. And by that, I don’t mean “Adam”.

Ah. Everyone is on to Kaysha’s games. She screwed herself over this round.

Dylan keeps searching. And searching. And searching. He is determined to keep searching until Tribal Council.






CHISHOLM: Lisa, is Tribal on your bucket list?

Good one, m’boy.

Dylan thinks Matt saying the game hasn’t been playing until day 12 is a lie.

Adam acknowledges the underlying negative whispers and there is one bad egg. Dylan volunteers himself as the bad egg.

CHISHOLM: Adam, why aren’t you looking Dylan in the eye and telling him what are you doing?

ADAM: I dunno. He can do whatever he wants. I don’t really care.

CHISHOLM: Would you look Adam in the eye and tell him what’s going on.

DYLAN: I’d love to.

ADAM: Go for it.

DYLAN: Here’s my issue with you. . .I’m a big fan of this game.

ADAM: Really???? We didn’t know that on day one.

DYLAN: You sit around and acting like you don’t want to be here which is frustrating to me.

ADAM: Why I don’t like you is you have thrown around everyone’s name under the sun. Tara’s. Brad’s. Tess. Under the sun. Everyone.

DYLAN: Three people.

ADAM: Three people? Well that’s three more people than everyone has done out here. We’re not like that. We’re not snakes.

CHISHOLM: Isn’t that Survivor?

ADAM: Yeah, but he got caught out. Be a bit smarter.

Adam ripped Dylan apart swiftly. If this was Phoenix Wright, Dylan would be like Winston Payne.

Adam proceeds to do imitations of Dylan. Exaggerated, but amusing.

Lisa feels Dylan is squeezing Dylan’s eighteen years of superfandom in the span of ten days which is hurting him. Kaysha cries about how Dylan has been beaten down in this tribe and is empathetic.

It’s time to vote. This vote is a foregone conclusion.




I’m sure it’ll be 7-1-1.







Dylan’s jaw is unhinged. 2-2-1-1.


I have the same look. 3-2-1-1.



DYLAN: Oh my god.

Kaysha played too hard in conjuring alliances that were never going to break.

LISA: You did good.

(KAYSHA shrugs.)

Just when you think a man is being voted out, a woman gets randomly blindsided once more. I am sure Incel is endorsing this season.

Next Time on Survivor NZ: Dylan prepares for the worst. A twist in the game sees childhood friends reunited but leaves Brad and his tight five down in the numbers.

Kaysha is at a loss for words and didn’t expect to go this soon. Kaysha is crying a lot and wanted to represent her family. Meanwhile we see Matt be the vote that wrote down Kayshaw. Who the hell spells it Kayshaw?


One thing I really like about Survivor NZ is that we’ve now had two people go home without having their names brought up as being vulnerable after the immunity challenge. In the American version, it’s always a) or b) or c) if idols are circulating. Somebody you assume is safe never goes home.

Here in NZ, the audience has been blindsided twice. However, the eliminations are explained because of the content you see throughout the episode.

Yos was too much of a leader and too bossy for anyone willing to put up with beyond day three.

Kaysha was trying to stir up an infinite amount of trouble that they felt it would be disastrous to take her into a swap or a merge. At least they know Dylan will be permanently on the outside of the alliance and will never trust him.

This was a calculated and devious move on the part of Khangkhaw. I underestimated their brainpower after the first three episodes, but definitely have a bit more respect for them tonight. . .except Josh. Josh didn’t realize how much of his cards he showed to Arun.


In typical Survivor fashion, when a losing tribe wins immunity in round three or four, the following round immediately has a swap. Both tribes excluding Dylan and Renee are fairly united. Hell, you could say Renee is more frustrated with her position than being disloyal in any way to the tribe. Meanwhile, I don’t think Dylan gives a crap about Khangkhaw.

Obviously it’s going to be impossible to figure out the dynamics of the new tribes other than that Khangkhaw will presumably have the numbers advantage on both. Obviously whichever tribe ends up with Dylan will have a lot more suspense to their trip to Tribal Council.

And yes, we will see Dave and Matt surrounded by bags of Dill Pickle chips and playing  007 Goldeneye allowance in the camp’s living room by next week as they drink Sprite with their weekly allowance. I love that the show is breaking the fourth wall on this.


In other news, Arun made the right move to sit out Eve. I am curious to see what she does with her idol next round.


JT will be very nervous about a swap. He is hoping he gets at least two Chani to flip with him or his position is awful.


Keep in mind that Chani’s immunity win has an asterisk.


From now until next week, I am going to gloat about my assumption that Khangkhaw would get impatient and throw the immunity challenge. They executed Tribal Council well, but not knocking Chani down a little bit more may prove to be a fatal error if this swap doesn’t split the tribes in an ideal fashion.


Under what circumstances would Dylan work with anyone on Khangkhaw? An alliance of seven against him was exposed tonight. I could see him getting along with JT. . .or view JT as being his biggest competition.


Overall, I am very happy with these four episodes of Survivor NZ. This shows how great Survivor can be and the Outpost twist is a great replacement for Redemption Island. It doesn’t impact the game by breaking it with an excessive number of idols and advantages, but just enough of a twist where I look forward to it every episode. Good work, production.

I am invested in this a helluva lot more than whatever Ghost Island has done all season long.

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