Survivor NZ: Thailand

Survivor NZ: Thailand — “JT: The Chatty Chani Nanny”

SURVIVOR NZ: THAILAND Episode 3: “JT: The Chatty Chani Nanny”






















Previously on Survivor NZ: The game took a brutal toll on the players. Both tribes were obsessed with finding immunity idols. Brad found the first but kept it secret within his alliance while Dylan aligned himself with Kaysha. Khangkhaw continued their winning streak forcing Franky and Karla to fight for their survival.

Sixteen are left; who will be voted out tonight?




FRANKY: I felt so sick about that one.

Or just sick in general.

JT’s ideal plan would be to go into a merge or a switch with much fewer numbers but a stronger alliance.

FRANKY: I don’t trust JT.

Right on cue. Imagine if JT ended up being the next Stephenie LaGrossa? I want to see JT intentionally throw every immunity challenge until the midway point.

For the third episode in a row, we get a full intro. Yes, I know it is easier to do it when you have 65 minute episodes, but still. It’s nice to see.




The rice pot is empty. Eve is the only one capable of moving. They are all passed out in a field. It’s a tribe of Kiwi Zombies rather than actual people!

RENEE: We’re in a mindset of a swap or a merge rather than winning challenges.

No kidding.




Everyone hums as Adam sings.

ADAM: Good night sweetheart, it’s time to go.

Oddly enough, this is the exact song Richard Hatch sang when he voted out Greg Buis in Survivor: Borneo. Explain that reference to Tess, guys.

Tara’s current strategy is to be neutral and is amazed she can have a mature conversation with a tribe full of 20 year olds.

Tess is here to prove it’s not about brawn and stuff that blonde girls are obsessed about (as she is aligned with the three most physically gifted dudes on the tribe, but whatever).

TESS: I want to pour water down the tarantula hole and see if it comes out.

My brother would love that.

Adam loves Tess because she is a darling and a hard worker.



We see wooden cobra. Not a real one, sadly.

Chani walks in without Karla.

It’s a 1 vs. 1 faceoff in a ring. On one hand they’ll hold a statue on a platform while using the free hand to knock off the opponent’s statue from their platform. First tribe to TEN points wins reward. That’s a lot of heats to air on TV. . .or maybe Khangkhaw sweeps all ten.

Winning tribe earns fishing gear. It’s a ridiculous amount of fishing gear.

CHISHOLM: It’s Chalker.

The new sit out rule is that you can’t sit out anybody you’ve sat out before, and it has to be one man and one woman.

Kaysha and Matt are sitting out. Sweet. Let’s get it on. Or rip into it.


Adam vs. Dave

Adam starts singing The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly theme as he pretends to strike like a cobra. The goofing around leads to his own defeat.


Tara vs. Eve

Eve gets under like a boxer. Tara is doing circles with her arm. She loses the statue.


Liam vs. Josh

Liam surges in and knocks off the statue. Hiss hiss. Josh’s combo of looking like Locky and Michael from One World doesn’t help him one bit.


Tess vs. Renee

Renee simply strikes.


JT vs. Brad

Slow walking. JT’s shorts are up to his belly button. JT comes in but Brad bats him away for the point.


Lisa vs. Franky

Franky jumps up to knock off the statue.

5-1 Chani.


Arun vs. Dylan

Arun and Dylan are chirping. They talk about food. Dylan comes in but loses his balance. Arun pulled Dylan’s shirt.

DYLAN: I didn’t realize we could pull clothes.

This is going to get vicious.



Liam vs. Josh rematch

Josh is hissing like a snake as nearly strangles Liam. Liam falls backwards as the gate around him collapses. Holy crap. This challenge is taken to the next level.

It’s like in UFC 3 when Keith Hackney and Emmanuel Yarbarough made the octagon collapse.



Tara vs. Renee

They barely lock hands when Tara’s statue collapses.



Dave vs. Brad

Both knock off the statues nearly simultaneously. Brad’s statue barely stayed in the air by about 0.1 seconds.



Eve vs. Tess

Eve keeps coming in. Tess tries to defend, but touches her own statue.



Arun vs. Adam

They both smile at each other. Adam’s knee is bandaged. Arun asks Adam how he hurt his knee. Such an informative chat.

Both statues go flying in a collision but Adam’s barely fell first.



Franky vs. Lisa

Franky keeps circling. Lisa attacks with her non-free hand which was a huge  mistake obviously. Challenge over.

Chani improve to 1-4 but it’s not for immunity! They start screaming. Food is more valuable than immunity.

Tess says she is happy for Chani. Um, OK.

They want the whole team to grab the gear but Arun, Liam, and JT hang back for some reason.

CHISHOLM: Looking forward to hearing the fishing stories.

Yeah, screw the Outpost or immunity challenge. Let’s spend the next 45 minutes talking about fish.




They examine their fishing gear. Liam is happy to no longer feel like an idiot. It’s one thing to be pushed into a collapsing gate and lose, but at least they win.

Eve announces she grabbed a piece of paper from one of the nets. The whole tribe circles around Eve. JT and Renee are shocked Eve announced it to the whole tribe immediately.

It’s revealed in a confessional that Eve didn’t even compute the paper would contain a clue. Franky was the one handling the net after the reward and feels like an idiot for not spotting it.

The whole tribe agrees to dig up the idol and give it to whoever is in the minority alliance at merge. However, Eve is allowed to hang onto it for now. JT is devastated that he doesn’t get to be in possession of the idol.

They dig it up and. . .it turns out to be another clue. JT’s dreams are not devastated. So to the next clue they go.




But first Khangkhaw reels from losing fishing gear.

Kaysha and Dylan have a plan for Kaysha to throw Dylan’s name under a bus or some sort of vehicle constantly. Everyone is hunting for coconuts except Adam because it’s not a watermelon. Dylan is on his own hunting for idols.

Matt finds it suspicious that Kaysha is willing to vote out Dylan.

DYLAN: I love Kaysha to bits.

What about pieces? Or heaps?




The idol finding group of Franky, Eve, and Renee find an additional clue underneath the tribal flag. The next clue leads to an area underneath the dock. Renee and Franky are not happy with Eve being the one to claim an idol underneath the raft.

FRANKY: It’s bullshit.

That’s one way of putting it.

Eve does indeed have the hidden immunity idol. She reads the note aloud. Franky can’t hide her disappointment.

EVE: I would be kind of gutted if I did give away the idol and that would be not very good.


JT outright says to Eve that the idol is his life dream.

JT: I am really glad you found it. . .can I try it on?

It’s on him in the physical sense but not in the possessive sense.

Eve is the only one to have a confessional describing her trust for JT.




Franky says Liam and Renee are the only two not part of the core five, but she wants both of them to stay. She decides to float around the plan of eliminating Eve at the next Tribal Council. Her first chat is with Arun while fishing on the raft. They discuss JT and Eve.

ARUN: Franky doesn’t know this but me, Eve, and JT are a tight alliance.

Uh oh. Franky is talking to the wrong person.

ARUN: I have quite a few fingers in quite a few pies.

Thank god it’s just fingers.

JT: I’m not sure how I’m going to get the idol, I’m just confident I am going to get it.

JT and Eve talk about the idol. He thinks Eve’s intentions will be to pass the idol onto whoever in the group needs it. Eve admits she is nervous about Franky and could read Franky’s disappointment from a mile away. She tells JT to target Franky. JT is fine with it.

Liam brings in tree mail. Select one person to visit the Outpost. It can’t be JT again. They draw sticks.

Eve draws the biggest stick. Her plan was to fly under the radar but that ain’t happening today.

ARUN: If you’re going to the tribe, good luck.

They point out the hidden immunity idol. Eve takes it with her to the Outpost after much deliberation. Franky has an inkling to not trust Eve.




Adam sees Dylan’s face light up as soon as the Outpost clue is read. He is terrified of Dylan.

Kaysha draws the magic stick (tm 50 Cent). Tess is not impressed.

TESS: Dylan is annoying, but Kaysha is the worst threat.

Those two really don’t get along.

TESS: She better get her story straight.

I couldn’t agree more, Tess.




A balancing challenge. Wooden cylinders cut into pieces. They will balance a ball on a cylinder and OH MY GOD IT’S THE SAME CHALLENGE I JUST WATCHED TWO DAYS AGO.

You’re kidding me?

Chisholm unveils a reward of brownies and sweet Thai treats and ice cold fizz.

KAYSHA: Heaps!

Yes, heaps of fizz. Usually heaps of fizz can’t air on most TV shows.

This challenge was only played in Micronesia and Philippines, and now gets to be played twice in the same week.

CHISHOLM: What would hit the spot, Kaysha?

KAYSHA: The Fizzy.

Yes. The fizz would hit Kaysha’s spot. I can’t make this s–t up.


They hold up the same cylinder. Eve and Kaysha are bent over far. This table must be low.

We watch ants crawl as we hit the five minute mark to end the first round.


Three pieces attached to the cylinder. Chisholm crouches for a better view for some reason.


Two more pieces. Only one more round after this one. These five pieces make it very long. I don’t see it lasting long.

Eve can’t get it up. Kaysha wins reward. Khangkhaw is technically 6-1 in challenges. Yikes.

Chisholm instructs Kaysha to eat the treats right now. She can’t even take it back to camp.

CHISHOLM: I’ll give you some of that sweet fizz first.


CHISHOLM: While eating, feel free to discuss anything you want or share anything you want. . .apart from the food.

Eve tells Kaysha that she thinks the boys are ruling the roost.

KAYSHA: . . .Interesting.

EVE: You connected with anyone?

KAYSHA: I connect with everyone on a different level.

Mind games are played. Only thirty seconds left for Kaysha to eat and drink Chisholm’s fizz.

Kaysha looks like she has a stomach ache as the reward ends. Kaysha burps as she exits.




Adam says a lot of drama is surrounding Dylan as Dylan is alone chewing on straw.

ADAM: I hate sulkers. Eating a nice watermelon skipping down to the water like happy as me then you turn around and (*insert Dylan frowning impression*) Get out of here! Get in the water or something!

They keep watching Dylan alone. He isn’t used to people not liking him. Dylan worries he might mentally crumble.

DYLAN: I don’t want to go home because I couldn’t hold my teepee.

They have teepees in New Zealand? I thought that was a Canadian thing.

Kaysha returns to camp as her stomach is doing rolly pollies. What have I said dessert rewards in the past? They do more harm than good.

She is truthful about the whole challenge and reward to the tribe. Kaysha shows off her stomach to prove she is bloated. Adam isn’t convinced as he orders her to show her her teeth. There is no traces of brownies in there, and Adam doesn’t believe lemonade would wash away all evidence of food in one’s mouth.

NOTE: Adam should have asked Kaysha to breathe on his nose so he could smell the chocolate confection.

Adam doesn’t buy her story. Kaysha offers the tribe to pat her down PSA story.

TESS: Bullshit. Kaysha’s story is complete bullshit.

I think producers are accomplishing exactly what they wanted with the constant paranoia about the Outpost.

TESS: I just don’t trust her as a person.

Or as a player.

This is like The Simpsons when Homer claims he has no experience with submarines and the military officer keeps thinking he is making a joke. Poor Kaysha.



CHISHOLM: First things first, I’ll take Old Mate Idol back.

For today’s challenge, they’ll dive down to release puzzle wheels from top to bottom. Once all nine wheels are collected, they’ll use it to solve a word puzzle “CHAMPIONS”. Simple challenge in concept but I think this will be tough to execute.

CHISHOLM: Give you a minute to strategize then we’ll rip into it.

Khangkhaw sits out two people but Chisholm doesn’t tell us who is sitting out.

Franky is first with a piece. Matt comes up shortly thereafter and overtakes her on the ladder. Chani’s strength is limited.

Josh quickly emerges with the second piece as Renee dives in. Renee can’t do it because she swallowed water. Perhaps her body was dehydrated and instinctively drank water.

Josh has the third wheel. Franky is already back in. Matt is back in as Franky can’t retrieve the second wheel. Matt has the fourth wheel piece. Eve takes a crack at it but can’t do it. Meanwhile Matt retrieves the fifth piece.

It’s now Dave’s turn. Josh is taking a third turn at snagging a wheel. The beefcakes are abusing this challenge. It’s 6-1.

Dave can’t do it either. This is a bigger blowout than the previous immunity challenge. Eve is back in but can’t do it for a second time. Are they just going to forfeit?

Matt has the seventh wheel. Tess is going in to give the beefcakes a rest.

Renee’s swallowed water no longer an obstacle as she goes in and succeeds with grabbing the second piece. Tess has the eighth piece. Both have a helluva time climbing the ladder.

Matt retrieves the final wheel for Khangkhaw. Franky tries again and still can’t retrieve a wheel.  Dave looks EXHAUSTED but is going in anyway.

Lisa is attempting to solve the puzzle as Brad and Tess listen to her commands.

Dave can’t do it again yet either. Editors won’t know how to create suspense with this one.

CHISHOLM: Chani still in the game.

. . .Right.

Liam takes a stab. He can’t do it. Renee is diving in. Eve is trying to figure out the word on her fingers without any pieces.

Khangkhaw solves the puzzle. They collected all nine pieces, unscrambled a puzzle, and completed it before Chani could collect more than two pieces.

I think this is up for debate as the biggest blowout in an immunity challenge ever. A tribe wasn’t capable of getting anywhere near the finish line. It wasn’t a matter of taking a long time to do it, but just outright incapable of being able to finish it.




The happy and loving camp is quiet and sombre. Liam is scared because nobody is saying anything.

Renee and JT strategize at the water well. Renee views Eve as the biggest threat and wants to blindside her and remove idols from the game.

RENEE: The less idols in the game, the better.

A true Survivor purist.

JT is about to tell Dave the plan when Eve walks in on the conversation.

EVE: Did I walk in on something?

JT: . .No.

Dave blatantly asks Eve if she is going to play her idol and adds he doesn’t want to vote out Franky. He is very frustrated that Franky is the target.

Arun and Liam join in on the conversation. Eve tells Dave he doesn’t have to vote Franky because it’ll still be 4-3.

EVE: I still want to feel solid I am staying or I am playing an idol.

Eve is confident that she has the backing of JT and Arun and also the trust of the other men on the tribe. She is only concerned about Franky flipping the vote.

Franky trusts Renee, Arun, and Dave. She trusts them way more than JT and Eve.

But what about Liam?

Franky tells Renee she is writing down Eve’s name because of trust and the idol.

Renee pulls aside Dave and JT. Renee tells them she saw Eve put the idol in her bag. Dave hates this scenario because he trusts both Franky and Eve.

JT: Why don’t I tell Eve that the reason people are going after her is because of the idol. Give it to me and she’ll be safe.

Dave and Renee may or may not be troubled by this.

Renee thinks Franky is significantly stronger than Eve.

Dave goes down to the water with Franky. He tells her the truth about Eve voting against her. Dave confesses to Franky that he is nervous because the other men like Eve.

Eve chats with Arun. Arun can no longer be in the shadows.

FRANKY: I can’t see why I wouldn’t have the people on my side.

While they are walking to Tribal Council, Franky whispers to Liam who he is voting for. He says Eve, but Franky says Eve has the idol in her bag and they have to switch it. Arun turns back to hear a part of the conversation.

Chani, you’re a mess. I love it.

By the way, Chani are now 1-7 in challenges.






CHISHOLM: Nine days. Three immunity challenges. Three losses. Three trips to Tribal Council. Who is surprised to be back?

(Everyone raises their hand.)

CHISHOLM: You’re all surprised you are in this position?

EVE: We thought we had today’s challenge in the bag.

CHISHOLM: You thought you had today’s challenge in the bag?????

EVE: We had a plan before we went into it. It was just a lot easier said than done.

A lot easier. A lot easier. Chisholm’s expressions are priceless.

Chisholm presumes Renee must feel safe because she did what others couldn’t do. Renee still doesn’t feel safe.

CHISHOLM: You told me there are no alliances. I am struggling to believe you. Are there alliances now? Dave?

DAVE: I don’t think so, mate. We don’t even discuss it. We don’t discuss it at all. No one discusses it at all.

CHISHOLM: I don’t believe you. No scrambling after the challenge?

DAVE: People talk here and there, but we have a positive mindset we’re going to win it.

CHISHOLM: JT, Look us in the beadies. There are no alliances in this tribe?

JT: There’s no central committee dictating things. It’s like a network. Messages go back and forth.

CHISHOLM: Whose forwarding out the messages, JT?

JT: I just receive ’em.

CHISHOLM: Arun? He’s just receiving?

ARUN: So am I?

RENEE: I’m on the receiving end too.

CHISHOLM: Someone has to be sending them. You can’t all be receiving.

Chisholm is really trying to pry this group wide  open.

CHISHOLM: Is there a tight core then to this tribe?

EVE: One family all on one page. . .no one wants to eat someone else from this family.

CHISHOLM: It’s so hard to buy that.

Chisholm brings up hidden immunity idols.

CHISHOLM: Does anyone suspect there is an idol amongst this tribe?

Everyone laughs and comes clean.

EVE: It’s technically in my hands, but it’s for my tribe.

Chisholm asks if somebody feels more worried than the others. Everyone is equally worried.

CHISHOLM: Anyone feeling more worried than the others, you think? You’re all sitting here looking clueless.

Even Alicia Silverstone has a better idea of what’s going on.

Chisholm stares down Franky at one point until she says something.

It’s time to vote. They’re not giving much information to Chisholm.


EVE: You’re a machine but we got to stay strong.

Man is superior to machine on Chani, apparently.


Does anybody want to use a hidden immunity idol?














Another unanimous vote for the family. Eve didn’t play her idol. JT and Arun have sided with her.

The torch is snuffed. Franky tells her tribe that one of them will win.

CHISHOLM: Wow. A tribe on a losing streak playing a game on a lake just voted out one of its strongest swimmers. I’ve got a feeling I will see you back here soon.

That’s the biggest diss of a tribe I have seen after Tribal Council. I’ve seen atheists with more faith than Chisholm.

Next Time on Survivor NZ: Chani go all out to break their losing streak. Alliances are on shaky ground. And a traitor is exposed at Tribal Council.

FRANKY: I am feeling super gutted.


Franky thinks Eve or JT are pulling the strings in this tribe and to go hard or go home.


Yos. Karla. Franky. All gone in a row and Renee is on the outs, and Eve is in a very precarious position. We have a shot at seeing the first tribe in Survivor history exterminate one gender all in a row before a switch or a merge.

I like that there are no signs of a switch for episode four. Production is letting this play out presumably until Chani can win a tribal immunity challenge. If not, you wonder who the hell they are going to target.

Franky managed to go from being on death’s doorstep to being an Energizer Bunny in challenges. She was one of only two people to bring up a wheel during the immunity challenge. Somehow the other person is the one that is next in line to go home. Chani is a very puzzling tribe.

Chani -did- win their first and only challenge this week. It happened to be the only challenge where no physical fitness was required. It was strictly mental. If this were season one, more mental challenges would be present pre-merge, but producers are going gladiator style with challenges this season and a shellacking shall continue if the budget production has to work with exists all the way through to day 39.

Khangkhaw’s paranoia and lack of trust in some of their tribe members should put them on the brink of intentionally throwing a challenge. They are up 3-0, but that extra victory is really what you need to give your tribe a comfortable enough cushion to start eliminating your own. Chani would just need a luck-based challenge and a mental-based challenge to even it up 3-3 if Khangkhaw were to throw it.

Chani sounds like a host’s worst nightmare to see at Tribal Council. Nobody is giving up any private information or targeting anybody out in the open. Eve wouldn’t even state she is going after Franky. Chisholm is on the verge of pulling his tiny hairs out if he has to go through this at Tribal Council again. Perhaps next round he’ll just sit in silence until somebody says something.

I can’t see Eve going home because JT really trusts her to play the idol for the tribe and/or for him. As long as Eve knows to keep JT happy, she knows she’ll be staying.

JT calling the shots for Chani is worst case scenario and it is showing here. Sure, he might help them post-merge with outwitting Khangkhaw, but at this rate ain’t nobody making it to the merge in the first place.

Dave and Arun need to be more assertive soon. Neither one wants to create waves by going after their own best interests, but letting this tribe implode to a 1-7 record isn’t helping them either.

Liam has survived all three votes, and I can’t see any reason to knock him out next vote. We haven’t seen him be extraordinarily weak in challenges in comparison to his other tribemates yet. Well, except for collapsing into the gate, but that’s just hilarious. I assume the others want to keep dragging him.

Sadly for Renee I think she is screwed if she goes to another Tribal Council before a switch. I don’t think anyone wants to work with her.

Power Rankings for Chani

1) JT

2) Eve

3) Liam

4) Arun

5) Dave – He spoke out too much.

6) Renee – Only allowed to receive messages.

Producers are relying on Dylan, Adam, Kaysha, and Tess to carry the narrative for Khangkhaw. The beefcakes haven’t been the most charismatic players to follow. Their names are Matt, Josh, and Brad by the way. Brad has the idol. I need to remember that.

We saw Tara have a confessional about intentionally staying under the radar and out of everyone’s way. I guess that’s a perfect way to receive minimal airtime through the first nine days of the game. She’s a mom too, if I remember correctly.

Lastly, we have Lisa. The comedic superfan who looks keen to play mindgames. Since she isn’t in danger or looking to be aggressive, the scene from episode one is all we have really needed so far.

Of course, starting round four we need to see a boost in content for Tara and Lisa. Three episodes of being immune in an 18-person season is understandable for minimal content, but anything more and it becomes a bit worrisome. Even if Adam provides really good soundbytes.

Dylan and Kaysha may have four votes to save Dylan if they go to Tribal Council, but they’ll really need a wildcard in the form of Adam to flip or one of the beefcakes to decide he doesn’t want to bro down no mo.

Khangkhaw Power Rankings

1) Adam

2) Matt

3) Josh

4) Lisa

5) Brad

6) Tess

7) Tara

8) Kaysha

9) Dylan


So three episodes are done for Survivor NZ. Three very compelling episodes. We saw a bit more strategy than usual in our third installment because we pretty much had to. Nobody was vomiting, nobody was shivering to death, and it’s clear the strategic dilemmas were prevalent in camp this round. A bit tougher than the “Karla is the obvious boot without a second thought” storyline.

Let’s hope the idol hunting and idol talk is cut back now that it is established Eve will not be going home from Chani pre-merge unless she does something really dumb.

But aren’t dumb moves and strategies as a whole part of Chani’s mantra? I don’t know why I also think this is the tribe that is capable of outwitting Khangkhaw. Perhaps it is flawed logic on my part.

And yeah, I want to see Chani lose two more times. Just two more times, guys. You’re 1-8. Let’s make it 1-14 between reward, Outpost, and immunity challenges. I’m not asking for much.

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