Survivor NZ: Thailand

Survivor NZ: Thailand — “Don’t Stuff Yourself”

Logan Saunders recaps episode 8 of Survivor NZ: Thailand ahead of episode 9.


Previously on Survivor NZ: Brad and Dave have hidden immunity idols.  Josh was given the illusion of safety at the Outpost by Arun, but was led to a rare Chani blindside. Fingers were pointed at Arun. A medical condition saw JT’s early exit from the game. Outpost puzzle win gave Lisa an advantage at the next Tribal Council, but Khangkhaw’s attempt to throw a challenge backfired. Renee had her target set on Matt, but once again Dave worked to help Matt escape and Dylan’s time in the game was over.

Ten are left; whoooo will be voted out tonight?



DAY 20

They all talk about blindsiding Dylan and his “sneaky pricks” remark.

ADAM: I just feel like the luckiest boy in the world. I’ve won pizza, watermelon, I didn’t go to Tribal Council for twelve days, then one the 20th we get rid of Dylan!

The Prince of the Ball!

Renee is hesitant to trust Matt. Adam is curious which way to swing heading into the next round.















Yep. Just two tribes of five.



DAY 22

Tess didn’t sleep because she chose to sleep underneath a carpet. She claims an animal that sounds like a chipmunk followed by a chicken screech kept her awake all night. Tess thinks the chicken was killed by a pile of sugar plums.

Brad checks the cage. None of the chickens were harmed.

Lisa mourns JT’s bowels.

EVE: What do you think the reward will be?

LISA: Five new tribe members.

Survivor absolutely refuses to merge with any fewer than ten members anymore. In fact, even ten is considered to be stretched thin.

Lisa wants to align with people who will respect her gameplay by day 39 and also people who won’t be hit by votes early on in the merge. She rounds up Tess and Tara. She says they have to agree to whatever plan is proposed to them and limit future powwows for the three of them. Eve walks by.

LISA: Awkwaaaaard.

It’s only awkward if you say it’s awkward.

Adam sings music from an unknown Disney soundtrack. Dave is digging his Chani tribe. Everyone is laughing at Adam’s jokes for some reason. That’s when you know you’ve been on the island for twenty-two days. Renee is the only one not laughing.

Renee tells us she is annoyed that Dave and Arun never ever listen to her opinion or want to work with her as a unit.

Renee goes into the jungle with Adam to develop a game plan. She likes Adam as a person and believes she has a genuine alliance with Adam. Adam is equally fond of Renee and wants to become a destructive duo. They are on the same freakin’ page. Watch out.

RENEE: I am ready to play now.

You have been playing all along, Little One.

. . .Scratch that. I think Renee would beat me up for calling her Little One.



DAY 23

Adam cannot wait to see Khangkhaw’s reaction.

We see the reaction. Adam jumps up and down all giddy and hugs Lisa. Well that’s a pretty blatant celebration.

LISA: I know it was his dream. . .but just can’t trust that guy.

Who can you trust other than Tess?

ARUN: I am gutted JT is gone.


CHISHOLM: JT wants everyone to know he can finally poop, and that his health comes first.

Thanks for the update.

For today’s challenge, they’ll fire sandbags one by one at a wall of targets. First tribe to take out five targets horizontally, vertically, or diagonally wins reward.


Nah, just kidding.

CHISHOLM: Wanna know what you’re playing for? You’re gonna have to wait until after the challenge. . .one thing I’ll say is it’s a beauty.

I love that Survivor NZ decides to conceal most of their rewards.

Arun intentionally misses his first shot because he thinks this challenge is abusive towards women. Meanwhile, Tess connects.

Renee is first to score for Chani. Arun and Dave ignore this.

Tara hits a target. Adam misses with a grin on his face.

CHISHOLM: Adam doing nothing for Chani!

He is probably still in his happy place from Dylan’s elimination. Adam isn’t even connected to reality.

Dave keeps missing; Tess keeps hitting.

Khangkhaw has hit six targets while Chani has hit only two.

Tara keeps connecting too as they have two areas where they are two targets away from winning the challenge.

Lisa smashes a tile to reduce it to one tile away from victory. Chani’s best path is three tiles away.

Dave fires a sandbag like Claire Champlin from TAR 17 style as it hits him in the teeth.

Brad can’t hit the target repeatedly.

Renee pulls back and smashes Chani’s fourth tile. She is good at this.

Eve takes a turn. Slow motion. Perfect shot. Khangkhaw destroys this reward challenge. Chani sits silently as they watch the celebration.

Tess is hoping the reward is chocolate.

CHISHOLM: Do you want to know???

Chisholm pulls back the cover and it goes to commercial. Great.

So we wait an extra ten seconds. It’s the merge buffs.

CHISHOLM: You’re all winners today!

The Participation Trophy of Survivor challenges!

LISA: I am in the perfect position right now. Khangkhaw has the majority. As long as Matt and Adam are with us.

CHISHOLM: Your tribe name is Phsan–it means ‘to merge’ in Thai.

That’s sooooo uninspired.

Brad echoes Lisa’s confessional of feeling that he is in a great position.

CHISHOLM: Did anybody promise people back home that they’d make it to the merge?

MATT: I promised Jade that I’d make it to merge. . .Jade is my partner. . .

CHISHOLM: What would Jade make of Matt right now?

(MATT pulls his hat down and cries.)

MATT: Jade loves me for who I am and is my best friend.


The winners of this challenge will check Tree Mail/Mailbox for their reward back at camp. They will be using the old Khangkhaw beach for the remainder of the game in case anyone gave a damn about that.

We spend the next several seconds watching beautiful birds and a pretty waterfall. The tribal flag has been replaced.

TESS: The food is going to keep people abuzzing.

Yes. Abuzzing.

Matt tells us he has a very close relationship with Brad. Everyone unloads off the boat with a bunch of coconuts. Where did they get these coconuts? I don’t know.

Arun is hoping Adam and Matt will serve as undercover cops working for him. I dunno, man. Do Chani’s taxes pay their salary?

Renee freaks out over pasta.

ADAM: Hot chips! Hot chips!

French Fries, Adam. French Fries.

No watermelon for Adam though, sadly.

I wish there is a lot of booze. I want to see some drunk Kiwis.

TESS: I had food in both hands the whole time. I could not stop.

That is the culinary version of double fisting it, as we say on Survivor.

Dave devours that pasta until he suffers from temporary heartburn. Lisa equates the feast to the joy of holding her newborn son in her hands.

Everyone has a food baby. Dave looks really sick. Like the type of sick we suffer from when we see Tom make out with a spoon on Survivor South Africa.

Dave feels like he is going to ‘yay’ then returns to eat some more.

RENEE: You’re better than this, Dave!

Is he?

Adam stops in the middle of the meal.

ADAM: Are we individual now?

TESS: No. One big family.

A family which shall cannabalize.

Tess says Eve was going to be protected, but because Chani eliminated Josh, she wants no Chani spared.

Tess and Adam have a private chat on Dylan’s Hill.

ADAM: I missed you so much. Oh my god, that was the worst ten days of my life. It was hideous over there, the energy was disgusting.

What happened to Dylan’s elimination being the peak of your life thus far?

Adam intentionally exaggerates what happened.

ADAM: Arun is so mean. He’s controlling and just says mean things all the time.

Yeah, and he doesn’t even like watermelon!!!

ADAM: He thinks he’s cool, but he’s just a dick.

And he isn’t all that in a bag of crisps!

Tess announces her plan to pick off all four members of Chani.



DAY 23

Dave doesn’t view the family as a happy family. He is hesitant to trust his new alliances.

Brad and Tess chat about potentially working with Eve. Tess doesn’t think they can flip Eve as she collects a massive Mailbox.

Former Khangkhaw reads the Mailbox letter.


RENEE: Read it out loud!

Eve says each person who won the reward challenge gets to pick one luxury item from a list. She reads the entire list. Dave and Arun regret their request.

Two chocolate bars are on the list.

Brad picks toothbrush and toothpaste because charcoal doesn’t “cut the bastard” sometimes.

Tess picks chocolate bars. She knows it was the most childish thing to pick.

Lisa picks toilet paper.

Eve picks a pillow.

Tara picks a towel.

Adam continues his Arun Slander Campaign with Brad.

Adam informs us that he doesn’t want to play with Arun at all. He don’t care too much for him.

ADAM: It will open opportunities with Dave, Eve, and Renee. You’re going to have three fresh babies running around like MA-MA, PA-PA!

For the first time in his life, Adam wants to be a foster parent. God help us all. I’d call Kiwi Child Protective Services.

Adam does a fairly decent impression of Arun by tilting his chin as high as possible and speaking in a low but quiet voice.

ADAM: The week of f’n hell.

Adam bows before Brad.

ADAM: Thank you. Capcom. F–king Capcom.

And a Megaman to you. It’s nothing.

Tess and Matt chat privately.

TESS: He is literally come back from the dead.

  1. a) He didn’t die
  2. b) Never use the word ‘literally’ again. Those privileges have been revoked.

Matt notes Brad and Tess are extremely close and doesn’t feel he fit in there.

Hey, now you know how Arun feels when it comes to you and Dave. It hurts, donit?

The former Khangkhaw 2.0 see their rewards in a secluded area. Tess finds a hidden immunity idol clue in her chocolate bar–nah, just kidding.

Back at camp, the former Chani all decide to vote against Lisa. Eve is already onboard somehow. Hmmmm.

Khangkhaw returns. Renee feels Tara’s towel and Lisa’s toilet paper–something JT never had to use during the game.

Dave has a confessional repeating their plan to elimiante Lisa–mainly because nobody will see it coming. It is desperate but he has no other ideas.

Brad uses the toothpaste and grins like a Got Milk? commercial.

ADAM: “Look at my teeth! It’s so white!”

Not one of your better impressions, Adam.

Arun thinks Brad is hurt that he doesn’t have Adam and Matt with him.

ARUN: Brad will be shaking in his boots.

Will he?


DAY 24


Superfan Lisa brings back the tribal idol for the last time.

Chisholm asks Adam about the feast. After a lengthy chat about nothing, Chisholm takes back the tribal idol.

CHISHOLM: Tribal immunity is no longer on the table.

The individual talisman which is an intricate red cross connected to a green snake and skull necklace with a smaller earring at the bottom of it makes it one hell of a talisman.

For today’s challenge, it is one of Chisholm’s favourites. They’ll have 120 wooden tiles and use it to build the highest stack possible. First to three metres wins or highest after a measly twenty minutes takes home the talisman.

CHISHOLM: Give you a minute to get sorted then we’ll crack into it.

Not rip? Sigh.

We commence. Tara initially starts building on the top of the ladder rather than on the ground. Too bad she abandons this quickly.

Adam observes everyone. Are you even trying, bro?

We are treated to a montage of Dave having the widest base in this challenge that I have ever seen until he starts narrowing it. Brad’s base is very wide too.

Tess’ tower is ridiculously thin. Hers is the tallest but no way it makes it to the top. Yeah, it goes down. Shocker.

Lisa’s entire tower topples after about the two metre mark. Matt is now the closest to victory. He is barely ahead of Dave. I am amazed Dave isn’t running out of pieces.

Matt’s tower has a gigantic lean. Arun nearly catches up but it’s too thin and it topples. Matt opts to stop building entirely. It’s a wise move as the wind picks up. Matt is doing his damndest to block the wind.

Less than three minutes remain. Now ninety seconds.

Eve is reduced to smithereens. Dave’s collapses.

Lisa is four vertical tiles away. Ten seconds remain. Four seconds later Lisa loses her tower.


He’s laughin’!

MATT: My mom taught me patience is a virtue and that paid off today.

Matt does the most cringeworthy dance after Chisholm puts the talisman on his neck. Matt’s head was nearly too big for the talisman which is hilarious. It didn’t look comfortable.



DAY 24

Brad trusts Matt completely.

BRAD: Now we just need to finalize who we’re going for.

We see a chicken moonwalk! F–k the strategy chatter, let’s watch this chicken moonwalk some more!

Matt and Adam talk about what to do. Lisa runs into the water.

ADAM: We were just talking about you.

LISA: Whaaaat?

Adam is trolling everybody.

We are now reminded of Lisa’s Steal Your Vote.

LISA: I know it can be like a Poisoned Chalice.

Arun is their desired target. They air fistbump.

Matt is wearing a shirt that says ‘GOOD LUCK’ on the back of it. That sums up the whole attitude surrounding merge. His buddy Dave joins him. Dave confirms the plan to oust Lisa.

MATT: Heck yeah, I’ll vote Lisa.

Why heck instead of hell? I need more confidence, buddy. This is raising red flags.

MATT: I’ll be here tomorrow. I’ll make sure of it.


DAVE (confessional): If I play my idol, I am definitely stuffed for next Tribal.

As stuffed as that feast.

Dave thinks something is up but has no choice but to trust his N64 buddy.

Arun compares this to D-Day. Yes, a Tribal Council on Survivor is equivalent to the Allied Powers storming the beaches of Normandy to kill thousands of Nazis. Same thing.

Renee has a confessional about having not much of a desire to stick with Dave and Arun anymore. Oh my word, the magic third variable that nobody sees coming.







Chisholm confirms jury and the dreaded Final Three. -_- Oh well, just another improvement to be made for season three.

Tara speaks.

TARA: I chatted with everyone today. Did all the rounds.

ARUN: You didn’t chat with me.

TARA: Sorry. Must have missed you.

EVE: You didn’t chat with me either.

DAVE: Didn’t chat with me.


We go straight to the vote rather quickly. As we go to vote, Lisa plays her Steal a Vote on Arun.

Arun is devastated. Antonio Banderas is shedding tears as we speak.

Matt grins with the talisman.

DAVE votes LISA.

All other votes are unknown. Chisholm sits in his chair an extra few seconds before collecting the votes. Maybe he had a Charlie Horse?

He brings back the urn and asks if anyone would like to play an idol. Nope. Nada.



Two votes Lisa.


Samus? Samas Aran? WHAT A TWIST!




Two votes Lisa, three votes Arun, one vote Dave.








5-3-2. Dave is all alone, sucka!

Nah, just kidding. He’s still got Matt loosely.

Arun talks about how much he loves everyone and is stoked and just get the hell out of Tribal Council already. We don’t have time for your soliloquys.

CHISHOLM: Arun didn’t take the opportunity to make a final plea. I bet he wishes he had now.

I don’t think it would have mattered.

Next Time on Survivor NZ: The sharks are circling for the three remaining Chani members. Khangkhaw look to attack their own. And it’s every man for himself.

Arun is shocked by the result. Renee’s words against Arun in her vote is brutal. Lisa is surprisingly animated as she holds up two votes against Arun.


Yeah. Arun was an obvious boot. The strongest member from the minority tribe who was the least trustworthy and least flexible is an easy ouster for everyone involved. The decision to eliminate Dylan rather than Matt really screwed him over big time. Arun tells us in his final words that he was blindsided by the vote tonight. I think Arun really fell out of sync with this game after he eliminated Josh. He was doing so well and was a favourite to win! Dude lost his focus when tribal lines began to fade.

We have a game now folks! Eve and Renee have pledged loyalty to various Khangkhaw members. Dave has an idol which I can’t see him holding onto for another vote considering it is now 8-1. Matt can’t really protect him at this stage.

Nothing has really changed from what I said at the end of last round. This elimination was fairly academic. It will be the upcoming round where all of the fireworks will be firing off into the air.

Let’s see who will get hit by the recoil.

I liked how production decided to name the merged tribe the merged tribe in Thai, and no that is not a typo. Hiding the merge buffs underneath the reward at the first challenge of the round was also a unique idea. I love to see Survivor try very minor tweaks to the game like this that no one sees coming. Harmless tweaks.


Will Arun shave his beard prior to the next Tribal Council?

My guess is no.

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