Survivor: Cambodia

Survivor: Destiny’s Child

So here we are again. It’s a Survivor night in America! We are in the back stretch of the game. Last week I compared everyone left in the game as characters from Clue: And it remains true to me today: the people left in the game are all capable (except for Abi) of making cerebral moves that can win them the game. A lot of what happens now will come down to things breaking exactly right for whoever it is that is destined to win the game. Like one of the scenes (that I have used before) from one of the more underrated Scott Gallagher childhood favorites Mr. Destiny illustrates,

one move alters every move that will happen moving forward (obviously), but it REALLY alters what will happen at this stage of the game, where every choice made could be the “million dollar decision”. The two “outside” factors that can make the destiny deviate are the two hidden idols that Jeremy and Kelley have, which are basically like the ring of power from  Lord of the Rings that can and will prevent certain death for one of them as well as swing the game potentially in dramatic directions. It wouldn’t have gone to naturally.

It really is interesting to see how these idols will unfold. Will it be a race so to speak to see who can sit on their idol and not play it the longest, as you would think the last person who plays it will be in the best position? I also find it interesting, because unless I’m mistaken, Jeremy hasn’t been targeted at all this season. Not once has his name come up as a potential vote-out person, which to me again, sounds crazy because it seems so clear that he has been one of the top 3 people in the game in a power position the whole season. How has he not been targeted? We already know Kelley would have already been gone if she didn’t have her previous idol.  It would be interesting to try to figure out where we would be today in the game had Kelley gone when everybody joined together to dump her. Seriously, can somebody (smarter than I am) go back and try to guess where we would be had Kelley gone out. Who would be here that already got voted out?

With that said, we can’t go back and change what happened. We have to play the hand that we were dealt in a matter of speaking. I stick to my guns that Jeremy, Kelley or Spencer is winning this game this season; it’s just a matter of what unfolds that breaks the right way for one of those three. One of the biggest factors seems to be Tasha and what direction/way she will break because she seems like a wildcard. She could be the person who is the instrument in the game that is going to determine who wins.

With Joe going last week and with him being the clear, easy, lazy-excuse-to-target player in the game, it opens up now this wee with so many potential targets. I go into tonight not knowing who the target will be. This leads me to Spencer as Spencer is itching to turn on Jeremy, but can he make it happen? Spencer is interesting in that he knows how to survive and he knows the game. He’s clearly intelligent, but he seems to lack the ability to get people to do what he wants, whereas Jeremy and Kelley seem to have more swagger to get things done.  I think he also lacks that one “ride and die” person that he can roll with 100 percent.

Spencer really, really, really needs to win the immunity idol tonight to get a position of power and we will see if he can set himself up to make it to the Final Tribal. I picked him at the start of this season, but gun to my head, I would put all my money on Jeremy, as it just seems like this is his season. It kind of feels like when Tyson came back and won. It just seems like everything broke his way that season and that he was destined to win. For me right now, Jeremy seems destined to win the game.

I don’t think Abi can win. Like I’ve already said, I love Keith, but he seems as if he could be one of the next two to go because he is so loveable. He is pretty much a pawn, as is Kimmi who has made it far, so on some level that could be good game play, but it could also be that she really isn’t perceived as a threat to win the game by anybody. I could see Kimmi and Abi in the finals sitting next to a victorious Jeremy. With all that said, I could be completely wrong. As you’re reading this, Jeremy could have already been voted out and I will look completely idiotic which isn’t a great look, but I will take that chance. It’s 8 pm Portland, Oregon time, let’s see how smart or stupid I’m going to look!

8 pm

Previously on Survivor:

We get to relive the Joe collapse from last week. I forgot there was talk of an all-girl alliance…Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that…Nobody wants to see that.


We rejoin everybody after the Joe vote. Everybody says that “it’s for the best” except for Abi who is taking it to the next level saying: “Payback is a bitch” all aggressively…Um, are we sure that Joe even knew Abi was in the game? If we lined up Abi with five other women, do we think that Joe would be able to identify her?

Kelley points out that know they all have equal chances at winning immunity challenges.

We find out that Keith randomly was targeting Tasha. Have we had one confessional from Keith where he talked game at all this season? I can’t remember one second of hearing what the hell Keith was thinking in relation to the game.


They all sit by the fire and talk about the votes. Tasha realizes that Keith voted for her and is not pleased. Will this screw the rest of the guys now and swing Tasha towards the girls? Keith no…no..bad Keith.


Spencer and Jeremy have a one-on-one bro-talk. Jeremy regrets voting out Joe, realizing that the men could be in trouble. It’s hard to pay attention because Spencer’s body now looks like a plastic Ken doll’s body. Like, literally, his body looks plastic…It’s jarring.

It is tough to imagine Jeremy and Spencer wanting to be sitting next to each other in the finals, as it seems like votes would be very hard to predict in that scenario.


Commercial break: I’m going through the saddest movies of all time, which might be a longer piece I write about later for Rob’s other site, but this is my short preview tentative list:

  1. Old Yeller: Anytime a dog dies in a movie it’s very traumatic. Seriously, Disney, what the hell are you thinking by making a movie in which the climax is a kid having to shoot the family dog? Thanks, Disney for making me lose my innocence at a very young age and thank you to my parents for deciding this was okay to show to us.

      2. Terms of Endearment: Pretty much the same as Old Yeller except with moms of young children…not cool…not cool.

       3. Top Gun:

Goose (fighting back tears). Not Goose. Anybody but Goose. Hollywood, Slider, Jester–just not Goose. Not Goose.

Those are just three. There are more where that came from ;).


We are back and it’s time for the reward challenge. This week they are playing for the prize of being blessed by monks and sleeping in a temple. I don’t think anybody will admit it, but I guarantee each of them would choose five soft tacos from Taco Bell over a blessing and a chance to sleep in a temple, but of course, the producers order them at gunpoint to act as if they are very excited about the temple prize.


Keith kind of destroys the competition as he wins the reward. He gets to choose some people to come. He goes with Kelley and Spencer.


Keith gets asked why he chooses Spencer, which leads to Keith speaking a high redneck dialect that not one single person can comprehend. The people who don’t get chosen are clearly annoyed, especially Tasha who  basically spells out that she is anti-Keith–he voted for her, so you can’t exactly blame her for her feelings here.


Commercial break:

Tell me at this point of the season that everybody has taken my advice and has been watching Fargo!!?? If you haven’t and don’t want spoilers then just skip past this commercial break.

So what the hell was that last episode!!??? A spaceship? This season of Fargo is seriously on top of the best season’s in the history of one-hour dramas. Every frame of this season has been a masterpiece. I don’t know how they are going to hand out Emmy nominations this year because, seriously, you could nominate literally over ten people from this season of Fargo. No, I’m not some tool about this. The show has been that good. I mean, you have Ted Danson in his best character performance since Sam Malone on Cheers and he’s like number 11 on the list of best performances from that show this season.


Back from commercial with the losers of the comp who bitterly decide Keith needs to be the next to go. Abi shares that she likes to watch everybody else stress and scramble. She is trying to paint the picture that she is somehow in control of the situation. She’s a checker, or at best a pawn, with a bad attitude.

Tasha is telling us that she will leave #TeamJeremy if he doesn’t go along with her in 86-ing Keith. I don’t see Jeremy fighting this battle as he knows Keith has to go at some point.


We join the victors as they marched at gunpoint to the temple and are told to act overly overwhelmed with humbleness and awe because they are at the temple for their reward. Not that going to the temple wouldn’t be awesome normally, I’m just saying at this point in the game, I’ll bet all they want is food, a shower, and a bed.

Keith looks a little out of place with the monks. I half expect him to be ready at a moment’s notice to pull a Frank Drebin from Naked Gun if he see’s something un-American:


Since they acted happy enough, the producers decided to follow through and have allowed them to have food. Kelley takes the opportunity to feel out Spencer and Keith. The three of them appear to make a tentative agreement to a Final Three deal.


Spencer tells us that his ideal Final Three is with Abi and Keith next to him. I would choose Abi and Kimmi, personally, but whatever you think is best Spencer.


Keith throws out Jeremy’s name as who the next to go should be, but Spencer says that the others at camp will be expecting that and the move should be Tasha. Kind of interesting thoughts from Spencer….

The other two decide they are okay with the Tasha plan, but Spencer points out that they need a fourth and realize that it’s Abi who needs to be that person….and they know approaching her is going to look something like this:


Back at camp, Tasha asks Abi to go away so she and Jeremy can talk alone…Doesn’t seem like a smart ploy…It was a bad move…Let’s just be honest– why would she do that?


Jeremy and Tasha talk alone and now Tasha doesn’t want to get Keith out…shockingly, now she wants to get Abi out. Jeremy has the “Shit, I’m surrounded by psychotic women and I need to be very still and not make any sudden movements” face going on, as he humors Tasha’s talk about getting Abi out now. Not that Jeremy can’t get a little cray cray himself, but overall he has done a good job keeping his crazy at bay this season.

Jeremy does seem onboard to get out Abi as it would be one less girl in the game and put a stop to the all-girl alliance plan.


Commercial break:

Dating life update real quick. So I’ve been eating healthier, kind of changed my diet, have lost a few pounds, have gone back to my better look as a young George Clooney (maybe only in my head, but still) and so I’ve been feeling a little pickier lately with my online dating life. Let’s be really honest here– the ratio on online dating for quality women and I’m assuming men is like 1 out of every 17…That is a fact. You really have to be lucky to find one that is quality in all the main categories of looks, personality, level of crazy (5 levels) and miscellaneous (i.e.: Can they juggle? Do they have sports knowledge? Can they cook?). With online dating, usually, you find someone that is good in two of those categories, but horrific in the others.

To be fair, women have the same type of scoring systems too, because I don’t know how many profiles I have seen of women who just say: “ What I care about most is someone funny, nice, family-oriented”, but what they really mean is:“ I want someone tall who doesn’t look like a mutant”. I understand that 100 percent because I can be shallow too. It’s just that I hate the fakeness of online dating profiles. It’s as if online dating profiles are Craigslist car ads–you know the chances are high that you could be buying a lemon. Plus, women have to put up with the fact that 9/10 messages are from horny guys trying to get them into bed and feel really brave because they can hide behind a computer.  I get it would suck to be a woman on an online dating site; I just think for men, we have to start every conversation basically trying to convince the women that we are not registered sex offenders which really is not a great place to start a dating relationship, right? Let’s just get back to Survivor and pretend you didn’t read the previous paragraph, as I’m a little bit horrified with myself now.


Time for the Immunity Challenge. Obviously, at this stage of the game, winning immunity can completely alter the game.

Pretty fun competition as it’s one where they run through a bunch of obstacles and people are eating shit left and right. It’s like an outdoor version of Double Dare.

It would be fun if Jeff followed 3 inches away from them at all times as they were struggling and falling while calling the action for us. Can we vote on this happening in the future?


Wow, Spencer absolutely murders the puzzle part of the competition, as he finishes it in 15 seconds.


Before we can celebrate, Tasha still back in the comp, starts drowning. Thankfully Jeff springs into action, calls for medical and starts sprinting towards Tasha, like The “Hoff” in Baywatch:

The medical team basically says that Tasha spazzed out and is fine.

Jeff decides this is his moment to interview someone after a “near death” experience. Because of this, Spencer’s victory is somewhat marred.


Keith honestly just spoke for forty seconds and I have no idea what the hell he just said. If he gets to the finals, we will need a translator during his final speech.


Commercial break:

I’m going to say this again, sorry: It’s that time of year where if you want to stock up on Karma points (or a tax write off;)) here’s your chance. I work at a non-profit youth treatment center with kids that have had shitty Xmases their whole lives. Anything you want to donate or buy is cool like clothes, hats, shoes, accessories, music. If you’re really well off and want to hit a home run, an Xbox with games. You can email me or message me here if you’re a good person and want to help;) Not that I’m trying to be douche or anything– just saying this is for a good cause.

PS if you have any extra left over, I want this robot, please…Thanks!

By the way, we can’t be that far away from having those types of robots, right? I feel like next to the hoverboard it’s time for technology to step its game up, please!


Back from commercial, we rejoin everybody at camp, Tasha is taking some alone time, because right after an Immunity Challenge with 7 people left in the game, this is the best time to take alone time.


Keith, Spencer, Kelley, and Abi meet alone to talk about the plan to vote out Tasha.

Abi tells us that she is thinking about who she wants to take to the finals with her. Let’s be honest. This show was filmed months ago and I have more control over who will go to the finals than Abi.


Next we get Tasha, Spencer, and Jeremy meeting. Tasha takes the lead and says the plan is to get out Abi. Spencer is playing dumb and we don’t know what Jeremy is thinking, but I guess he is going with Tasha’s plan?


Tribal time. We get to see the members of the jury as they walk in, and apparently, Joe got to smoke some marijuana before this Tribal because he looks blazed with a goofy look on his face. He should be careful because I swear I watched a Vince Vaughn movie in which he and Joaquin Phoenix got caught with weed and Joaquin got put to death (spoiler alert):

I think this movie has been forgotten to put it nicely.

Props to Fishbach. He has an awesome Hawaiian shirt going on.


Jeff starts grilling everybody. Spencer’s talking confidently like someone that has an immunity necklace around his neck.

Jeff shares that Tasha had to be rescued today and the camera cuts to Stephen as he gives the cheesiest reaction ever. Basically, if you missed it, it was this:

This is a pretty nervous Tribal. I wonder if an idol will get played. I would be so paranoid and probably stupidly play an idol. Yeah, just for the record, I would be the worst idol holder ever.


We go to the votes and I have no idea if it’s going to be Tasha or Abi…feels like it could Tasha…


No idol played– we go to the votes!






Keith (What?)

Fourteenth person voted out is Abi!


Wow.  Another random vote that I guess came from Abi voting out Keith. I was surprised that Spencer went with voting out Abi. I thought he was going to pull the trigger on Tasha. Am I crazy that it seemed like he was completely leaning that way?

Anyways, we are here. One more episode left. I made a claim at the beginning of the night that destiny is favoring Jeremy and I still think that is the case, although Spencer is continuing to come on strong…like really strong. It feels like now it’s either going to be Spencer or Jeremy winning this season, as to me, it just seems like Kelley is going to come up a little short. I think if she makes it to the finals, though, she would have some friends in the jury, so Jeremy and Spencer better take her out next. Am I crazy? What do you guys think? How is this going to shake out? I’m sticking with Jeremy to win it all…but pretty much everybody left could make an argument for themselves that wouldn’t make me completely annoyed.

Thanks for reading. Let me know who you think is going to take this thing.

Become a patron of RHAP