SurvivorSurvivor: Cagayan

Survivor: Lets Get This Out Of The Way

nickcover copyConfessional of the night: “I think it’s really telling how fast and how almost desperately Alexis came up to us. Now that we see Beauty’s fracturing a little bit, it puts the Brain in a much better position. The fact that they’re this divided shows that we can play them against each other.” – Spencer

I heard a lot of rumblings last week that J’Tia was unpredictable or that as a player, you don’t want to play with unpredictable players.

I might be attacking semantics, but I believe the aforementioned statements deserve further discussion.

Lets get this out of the way: People may be irrational, but they aren’t unpredictable. And irrational players can be harvested to secure yourself a victory.

A person may do something you wouldn’t normally do, but that doesn’t mean they’re unpredictable. It means they’re different from you. Your unwillingness or inability to predict their behavior has nothing to do with them. It has everything to do with you.

When you play the game one day and a tribemate does the opposite of what you or the majority of humans would do in a particular situation, don’t deem them unpredictable and be in a frenzy to vote them out with the rest of your tribe. Talk to them. Ask them questions. Become the only person on your tribe that understands them. If you can do this, you’ll give yourself one more option and perhaps more importantly, take one more option away from your competitors.

I hate when you make sense. I AM sense. See. This is why I don’t compliment you. Thank you. What are you thanking me for? For confirming how great I am. NO. You’re dumb. But you just told me I made sense. I take it back.

Time for “10 sentences or less” WITH (alphabetical) Power Groupings. Lets go!

14. aka In need of an outcast twist

Cliff @UncleCliffy30

Cliff It’s his fault[/caption]

I don’t know how I feel about Cliff disliking Trish. He disliked her so much that he ignored her for nearly two weeks. It takes two to tango.

Agreed. But it begs the question: Is Trish THAT bad or is Cliff not as cool as I thought?

I have to think Trish is that bad. Regardless, it’s his fault for alienating her and he knows it. To win this game, you have to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. The option that nauseates you the most is usually the correct one.

Cliff stayed in his comfort zone and it placed him on a comfy, pre-jury trip. You sound a little cranky.

13. – 9. aka You and I have a better chance of winning this season

Jeremiah @JeremiahPWood

Gets all the chicks!

The truth will set you free

You’re the man. Literally, you’re THE man. It’s your job to bring your fractured tribe back together. How sexist can you be? More on that later!

But come on. He’s 34 and both Alexis and Morgan are 21. Give them a pep talk or throw them some BS. You’re suppose to be a leader in this situation. Round up the troops! All right, that’s enough Probst. Give Nick his column back.

At least try to fake it! See how the remaining Brains tribe and Sarah react. If they don’t react well, THEN run around like a chicken with your head cut off. I officially hate your full circles.

Or no. You know what? Come into your new tribe and start telling the truth. Tell them how you have no allies and you have nowhere to turn. Let them decide between you and three others who they’ll make their fourth to claim majority. Yeah, that’s brilliant!

The truth will set you free…

to Ponderosa. Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning!

Lindsey @LindseyOgle28

Out soon

What matters is how you handle it

Lindsey, Lindsey, Lindsey.

Like you and Cliff, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t enjoy being around Trish. Maybe I would get annoyed by her laugh, Massachusetts personality or her allegiance to Boston. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is how you handle it.

To continually make fun of her appearance comes off as resentful. And that’s one of the worst emotions you could possess.

Woo put it perfectly. You have to accept the type of person she is and then use that against her. Instead, you were unwilling to understand her and in turn, that gave her all the power.

You know what a powerless player, who also doesn’t want to be there, looks like? They look like Lindsey on the beach talking to Jeff about quitting!

Exactly. You REALLY did wake up on the wrong side of bed!

Morgan @_morganmcleod

Officially fair game.

A recipe for Narcissist Pie

Is someone jelly of Alexis? Me thinks so! What guy says jelly? Funny guys? You’re not funny.

Morgan is one of those people you don’t want to be friends with. What she loathes about others, she loves about herself. And that’s a recipe for Narcissist Pie .

She might luck out and make the merge if the Brains get back to their old habits by voting out the strong. Although, it won’t matter because she can’t beat anyone in a Final Tribal Council scenario. You REALLY don’t like when people make fun of other peoples’ looks.

Because it’s typically mean-spirited and mean-spiritedness isn’t fun or funny.

Tasha @missfoxytasha



Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw what you saw at the beginning of the episode. She’s going to the Final Three with Kass and Spencer.

THIS JUST IN: Tasha can’t beat anyone unless their name is Jeremiah, Lindsey, Morgan or Trish. Chances of that happening? Zero.

She’s going to be wishing she voted out Spencer, instead of J’Tia. Welcome to Crankfest 2014!

Trish @TrishHegarty

In on the fix!

Trish is in love

The astute Tony picked up on it right away; Trish is in love. While I understand how similar geographical locations can bond two people, I always find it humorous. It’s like rooting for your local sports team. They’re close to where you live so you innately have to be a fan of them. Which actually makes sense if you have the brain of a caveman. Andddddd you just offended 95% of your readers.

Good! I hope they’re all from Boston.

Trish refuses to stay on the bottom and you have to respect that. Although, the decisions will become more difficult as the game progresses. And unfortunately for her, she’s not capable of turning tough decisions into correct ones. What size did you buy your new cranky pants in?

8. – 4. aka They should be in the first group, but I don’t feel like getting ridiculed

Alexis @alexis_maxwell

Sorry? SORRY?


I’m a little bummed with Alexis. Pun intended? BUT what do you mean? Okay. Stop.

I think she’s safe for a few more votes, which will get her to the merge. But like Spencer mentioned, she was acting in desperation and that renders her powerless.

Also, I’m jelly. Not like Morgan though. Here we go again.

You and LJ cuddle at night? He puts in twerk requests? AND you fulfill them? What are you, a twerkbox? You know, like jukebox, but twerkbox. You’re pitiful. She would malfunction if you put in a request.

My quarters would keep her playing all night! I don’t know what to say anymore.

Jefra @JefraBland

Chicken sex?

The okie doke

Jefra was talking about chickens and eggs again! She can’t get them off her brain. What brain? Hey. Play nice. She’s not a mean person, so there’s no reason to take digs at her.

I have to give Jefra some minor props. She was able to get in with Trish and fed her the common opinion of Cliff being shady. But that’s not where the props come in.

The props are deserved because when Cliff was coming around the way to see what was going on, Jefra gave him the okie doke. As she walked by him, she flashed a big smile and said, “Hey, hey, big man.”

What a conniving, little b*tch! And I say that with a smile on MY face. Bravo! Eh. I wasn’t as impressed. She’s naive and boring to me.

Um. YOU sound like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed!

Kass @KassMcQ

Can live with either decision.

More combinations to win than Tasha

Much like Tasha, Kass is going to regret voting out J’Tia. You’ve been adamant that Spencer was the wrong selection.

That’s because he was! They kept a player that can beat them in Immunity Challenges AND Final Tribal Council over someone who could do neither of those. If J’Tia was with them right now, they’d be in exactly the same power position.

I suppose Kass can hang her hat on having a one or two more combinations to win than Tasha? Boy, these front row tickets to Crankfest 2014 sure are spectacular!

Sarah @sarahlacina

Getting played like the train section at Toys ‘R Us.

Only option is to trust no one

I’m having a hard time trying to predict if Sarah makes it deep. She’s probably in a position that better suits her personality. Her only option is to trust no one. Whereas before she was willing to let her guard down for a fellow donut customer. Are you hating on Sarah again?

I’m actually rooting for her a little bit. I’d like to see her and Tony get back together just to watch Tony mess with her some more. THAT’S why you’re rooting for her a little bit? You woke up on the wrong side of the bed AND had a glass of Haterade!

My best guess is the Brains tribe, like usual, makes the wrong decision and votes out Morgan first and if the situation presents itself, Jeremiah second.

Tony @tony_vlachos

Always looking for that next fix.

Tony isn’t capable of this

The scheming Tony was in a tough spot, but he made the right decision. At best, he was number four within the Cliff, Lindsey and Woo alliance. Why stick around for that? You stick around for that because you have the numbers at 5-2. Don’t self-destruct before you have to!

I believe in taking control every opportunity you get and relinquishing it only if you have no other way of staying in the game.

I know Tony isn’t capable of this, but if he was, this would be his play: He needs to smooth things over with Lindsey and Woo and tell them he made a mistake, but felt Cliff was becoming a little shady. From here he’ll tell them that LJ and Trish are getting way too close and that they were right before; LJ needs to go. Then manipulate Trish and turn her against LJ. Lastly, leave Jefra out in the cold, but reel her in with Trish after voting out LJ with the idol in his pocket.

He’d be sitting pretty because he could go with Jefra and Trish or Lindsey and Woo. Lindsey’s going to quit!

Probably. But like I said, this isn’t in Tony’s bag of tricks. So lets sit back, relax and watch the cop not be able to control his precinct once the merge occurs.

3. – 1. aka I’m sexist

LJ @LJMcKanas

More horse jokes?


Okay, LJ. OKAY. Not playing your idol was pretty impressive. Even if you were voted out in that situation, I’d still give you a nod. Because like you said, what’s three more days buy you? Not a million dollars, that’s for sure.

You’re on point today. Flattery will get you nowhere. That’s not true. Just ask LJ. That’s different. He’s handsome. Ouch.

Anyway. Here’s a motto LJ pulled off beautifully: When you feel fearful, play with greed. And when you feel greedy, play with fear. As counterintuitive as it sounds, it works because initial signals of greed and fear tend to lead to reactive measures, instead of proactive ones.

Since LJ puts in twerk requests, I have a couple requests of my own. Can you smile a little more? Maybe be a little more arrogant? The show was taped last summer. What you’re requesting is impossible.

I’m well aware. I can’t have him approaching Jeremiah territory though. It’s bad for business. Plus, I have him in a fantasy league. OH NOW THE TRUTH COMES OUT. You have ego riding on this horse. Horse joke! I didn’t mean to do that. Of course you didn’t. I’m in your subconscious. I AM your— TOO DEEP.

Spencer @SpencerBGM

Who the heck is Mike?

Survive the game

Spencer, Spencer, Spencer. You already started that way with Lindsey’s section.

If you get to the Final Three with Kass and Tasha, you’re a shoe in for victory. And by the looks of it, that’ll be just the case.

I’ll be impressed by the path you took to get there, but I wonder if your win will be more circumstantial than most. What do you mean by that? I’m not confident Spencer will have done much other than survive the game. Outlast is part of the game!

This is true. But I’ll need him to take control of Kass, Tasha and others for me to crown him an above par winner. As of now, he’s gotten by for reasons other than his own merit. Oh f*ck you! You’re a pompous moron!

Woo @YungWoo23

Isn’t love great?

Woo’s face was priceless

That’s what a blindside looks like! Woo’s face was absolutely priceless. He looked like something was unexpectedly shoved up his rectum. Come on! Seriously?

Graphic, but accurate. He’ll forever be a GIF. Keep typing. Why do you think Woo can win?

I actually don’t think he can win. I wanted to have three players in this section, so that’s why he’s here.

With that said, he has SOME potential. If he can make the merge, he’s more than capable of fitting in and nuzzling himself into the majority. From there he can go on an immunity run when it matters most. It sounds far fetched.

It certainly is. But Woo might have the most combinations to play with during the post-merge game AND Final Tribal Council. He’s in a sh*tty spot right now, but why not have a little hope in Woo?


This is a man’s world!

But it would be nothing without a woman or a girl… Teamwork for a James Brown reference!

Thank you for bantering with me. It was a pleasure.

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