The following is a guest post about Big Brother 14 (and Seinfeld) from Rob Has a Website Contributor and Legendary Live Tweeter, @TheeSoopNazee
“You have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If she is allowed to infiltrate this world, then George Costanza as you know him ceases to exist! You see, right now, I have Relationship George, but there is also Independent George. That’s the George you know, the George you grew up with — Movie George, Coffee shop George, Liar George, Bawdy George.”
“I love that George!”
“Me Too! And he’s Dying Jerry! If Relationship George walks through this door, he will kill Independent George! A George, divided against itself, cannot stand! You’re Killing Independent George! You know that, don’t you?”
-Exchange between George and Jerry on “The Pool Boy” episode of Seinfeld
In my usual, cookie-cutter blog format, I give you three main points from the week’s episodes. This week, only one thing really mattered, so I’ll only touch on one main point, and continue with the usual Notes About Nothing and awards.
After the Coaches entered the game, we were set up for one of the greatest battles in Big Brother history, Boogie vs. Janelle. Unfortunately (for the long term), Boogie ran circles around Janelle and ended the battle in a week. Surprisingly, it actually played out on the edited version of the show the same way it played out on the feeds. Boogie introduced Independent Janie, who wanted to play her own game and team up with the Coaches, to Relationship, or Coach, Janie, who wanted to play with her team, and with that…
The Worlds Collided
Boogie did it. He killed Independent Janie. Boogie had an obvious advantage in that he’s appeared as an extra on Seinfeld, and was obviously well-versed in the Worlds Theory. He knew that a Janelle, divided against itself, could not stand.
When Boogie initially talked to Dan and Dani, it went well, but not well enough. After the initial talk, Dan was sour on joining forces with Chilltown 2.0 and taking Janelle out. Dan thought that it would be best to eliminate Frank, and then team up with Boogie, especially since Boogie disclosed that he was going after Janelle next week regardless of what happens. On Sunday night, it was basically a footnote on the week that Janelle had any possibility of going home.
Then Janelle went up to the HoH. This is when it all fell apart, and I can’t help but wonder if it wouldn’t have been better for her not to interrupt the Boogie-Dan conversation to pitch an all Coaches meeting, because what Boogie did in that meeting was a thing of beauty. What did he do? He told the truth. Anyone who is cast on a future season of Big Brother should be forced to watch this conversation in full, because Boogie went to work. He shot Janelle down at every turn, and even had the audacity to laugh at her and tell her he couldn’t, and wouldn’t, trust her. Janelle was speechless, and couldn’t think of anything to come back with. The part that wasn’t on the show, probably due to time constraints, was when Boogie addressed how they could work together, just so they could shoot it down. Boogie acknowledged that neither of them were going to give up their Number Ones (Frank/Wil), so if they wanted to work together they’d have to go to the second choice. He told them that, if they wanted, they could get rid of Ian or Jenn, but there would really be no point in that, to which Dan agreed. That’s when he asked about Joe, and Coach Janie met Independent Janie. She wasn’t willing to cut ties with Joe because she wanted to keep all of her avenues open, and by doing so, showed her hand to Dan. From this moment, Dan knew that he couldn’t trust Janelle to nominate someone on her team, leaving only Jenn, Ian, Boogie, Dan, Danielle, Shane, and Britney as her only options when she would have inevitably won a HoH. Five of those people are in an alliance with him, and one is Jenn. With that information, this move was a no brainer, and television/live feed gold.
Disclaimer: For all of you crazy cat ladies out there reading my blog, we Live-Tweeters and RHAP Nation love Janelle. And Jeff and Jordan, especially Jeff and Jordan! And whoever else you cheer for. Please send all threats relating to this blog to @LucasHayes on Twitter, pay no attention to the Nazee!
The Notes About Nothing
- In the HoH competition, where everyone actually did far better than I expected, the houseguests were sprayed with bird crap. Don’t we have a deal with the birds! They’re supposed to be defecating on our statues, not our Big Brother houseguests! They broke the deal!
- After the HoH competition, CBS showed Shane giving the kiss to Danielle, and proceeded to show it another 20 times throughout the week. What they didn’t show was Dan telling Shane to give the kiss. Seriously, Shane might want to take up acting with this nomance performance. I want to hear the guy recite “These pretzels are making me thirsty!”
- Cue token “Who’s Jenn” joke of the week
- Ian, much to the dismay of Boogie, showed zero killer instincts in this week’s PoV when he decided to keep the Dog’s Life punishment. He’s lucky Boogie wasn’t the only houseguest in the house in a Seinfeld-Farfel scenario, because in one more day, he would’ve been pound bound!
- Also from the PoV, Frank gets to wear the Spiritard, this year’s version of the Unitard made famous by Jen Johnson. Just once I’d like them to ditch this tired old tradition and force a houseguest to wear a pirate shirt!
- The Team Boogie confessional was gold, and Boogie/Frank/Ian could be the Seinfeld/Kramer/Costanza of the Big Brother house. #BBDreamTeam
- Usually I reserve this spot to make fun of Danielle’s TwoFace, but I’m giving her a pass this week after she got mind-dinged by two of the best players ever. That’s not even fair.
- Throughout the entire Ian-Ashley segment, I was waiting for Julie Chen to shout out “Bazinga!” (Okay, not Seinfeld, sue me…)
- Dan tried to save Janelle. It’s not a lie if you believe it.
The Sein: Awarded to the player who placed their order just right, this week’s Sein goes to, obviously, Mike Boogie. Not much else to say, but his move this week is one of the best single moves ever in Big Brother, and his goodbye message to Janelle was pretty great too!
The Costanza: “Awarded” to the player who couldn’t get their order just right, this week’s Costanza is hard to give out, because I don’t think anyone actually played it that badly. Sure, Janelle probably should’ve just thrown Joe under the bus and sacrificed him rather than herself, but the bottom line is that Janelle was just outplayed by a better Big Brother player, and it’s hard to blame her for that. So I’ll give this Costanza to Danielle, for allowing the Coaches to run her HoH. No Soup For You!
In the end, I’m actually not sad to see Janelle go home, because I’m no Janelle fan. With that said, I think things are much more interesting with the Boogie vs. Janelle feud ever present in the house, so there’s a No Soup For Us situation!
With Frank winning HoH, my (second) winner pick is safe for another week, and is actually in a pretty good position overall, but this week is a little tricky. If he sticks to the plan and takes out Joe, he leaves himself open for backstabbing next week when the only targets for Silent 6 are Wil, Ashley, and Jenn. However, if Chilltown 2.0 turns on their newfound alliance, no one will trust them in this game again and they will be playing alone, or with Wil, Ashley, and Jenn. Either way, alone. I think the move here is to stick to the plan and hope the others stay loyal for the next week. Nomination predictions: Wil and Joe.
Finally, following in Big Brother’s footsteps, fans and former players have been kind enough to record some goodbye messages in honor (maybe not the best choice of word) of Janelle. Without further ado;
Michelle (@neurogodess) from BB11 was not exactly sad to see Janelle go, saying “Ding Dong the B***h is Dead! You should’ve spent more time playing Big Brother & less time playing Housewives of Big Brother.” Cat ladies take it easy, this woman aligned with Jeff and Jordan on her season!
From the guest on Thursday night’s Webshow, and the Greatest Villain that Never Was, Ronnie from BB11; “Janelle-You didn’t deserve to get scumbagged like this and I will laugh when Boogie backstabs theses noobs!” Check Ronnie out at @DarthRonnieT for no-holds-barred Big Brother tweets!
Speaking of no-holds-barred Big Brother tweets, BB14’s Jojo (@JojoDoll1) had this to say about Janelle’s Worlds Colliding; “Janelle, karmas a b***h and your lying got you out! Seriously you’re just a mean b***h you really are! I hope you’re not like this outside house.”
For the RHAP Live Feed Correspondents, there were mixed feelings. Brian Lynch, the Boogie Correspondent, did the opposite of his Coach and took the road less travelled, the high road, tweeting “The #chilltown correspondent salutes Janie. It was a first-class eviction. I am sorry to see her go.” “Nothing personal, just business,” was the tone from Dan Camp with Matt Forsythe channelling Dan. Bill Methling also channelled his Coach when we fired up BritCam, tweeting “Dear Janiee, Brit wanted you to stay but through the tears you had to go, go, go!” You can follow the Correspondents on Twitter @LynchMGM, @SnideSnidington, and @ZootyMcbooty for more Big Brother content!
From the fans side of things, Tim McGinnis (@LifeAsTim) Tweeted “I nose she was goin’ home!” Watch out Tim, I hear the Janelle fans are, umm, passionate? Joshua Smith (@Joshua_Smith08) channelled Dr. Will, tweeting “to quote the great Dr. Will Kirby, ‘she is just a 3-time loser’”
Be sure to check out fellow Big Brother blogger Andy Baker’s Bakers Dozen on robhasawebsite.com, and follow me on Twitter @TheeSoopNazee.