Each week, Scott Gallagher breaks down the show minute by minute in Survivor Pop Culture Recap. It’s live blogging complete with commercial breaks.
Survivor Pop Culture Recap: Dracula
Welcome back everybody. Pretty uneventful week here in the States….I’m sure everybody was up late last night watching the election. I don’t want to get political here…but where the hell was Christopher Walken when we needed him?
I guess things will probably get interesting soon around these parts, but the hell with that, we have a Survivor night ahead of us here. Last week, we had one of the biggest moves of this season with Michaela getting the blindside. Michaela was going to be tough to beat in any competition moving forward this season so Jay found his balls and decided that it was time to make a big move and everyone should be thanking him for his sacrifice (Thinking to myself, was it a sacrifice? I mean, it might come back to bite him in the ass so let’s go with sacrifice). That leads us into tonight. Do we get the merge tonight? I forget the next episode previews from last week and the election has left my memory very fogged. Let’s again take a moment to figure out where everyone is at heading into tonight:
Chris: Chris was low-key last week. We didn’t get to see a lot of him or what he is thinking. Chris is probably just praying to god that he can get back to his bromance with Bret and everything will be okay…I personally think that Chris might be a marked man coming up here. He is a beast in hands-on competitions and he doesn’t really have the social connections to keep him safe…
Bret: Bret did everything short of wearing camouflage to Tribal last week, thinking it was either him or Sunday going. I’m sure he feels great heading into tonight. Let’s be honest, though, Bret has no chance to win this game. He seems like an extra cast to stand in the background of every scene. I think Bret lingers a little longer than Chris, but not much longer.
Jessica: I’m still not at a place where I’m ready to completely forgive Jessica for her snitching on Ken from two weeks ago. I would be happy to see her go tonight, even though it’s not rational on any level. I just don’t like her facial expressions. They make me tense. I can’t explain it. I just think it’s best for all if Jessica kindly leaves the game.
Sunday: Sunday, just like Bret, was probably thinking: “What in the hell is going on here” last week at Tribal as Michaela was getting voted out. Sunday could easily be someone who is sitting at the final tribal because she isn’t a threat of any kind. I will be interested to see if I’m correct on this or if she is doing more than meets the eye.
Zeke: The “happy to be here” guy, Zeke’s position in the game seems to be getting better, mostly because other than Adam, the rest of the Millennials are impulsive and dumb. Zeke is a good player…WHEN you grade on the curve, the curve being this season of the game. I want to see a little more out of Zeke before I make a huge prediction about his potential in this game.
Will: Will looked horrified as Michaela was reacting to the votes last week, like he was afraid Michaela was going to take her torch and light someone on fire with it. I still don’t think we have gotten twelve total words out of Will’s mouth this season, but for someone in high school, I bet he is enjoying his life right now back at Bayside High or wherever he goes. Will is on my “no chance in hell of winning the game” list.
Adam: Adam did his duty for America the previous episode like we have discussed over and over again, so last week he was given the episode off. Other than having to pretend to be very sorry to Taylor for voting out Figgy during the first two minutes of the show. Adam is still a major threat to win this season. Obviously, he needs to get a majority alliance come merge, but Adam is one of the ones to watch.
Taylor: Can Taylor pick up the pieces after the Survivor death of Figgy? Or is he going to renounce god, drink some blood and live eternally as Dracula?
I would be all in on “Bitter Taylor” for the rest of the season, meaning Taylor does not make rational Survivor moves and makes his only goal to screw over anybody that voted for Figgy.
Jay: Jay gets major points for leading the Michaela ouster last week, as well as scoring points for his death stare and death nod he gave Michaela when she was staring him down. I think doing that took guts, and so although I don’t think Jay is capable of winning the game over the long haul, I do have respect for him and it will be interesting to see where he falls on the food chain when we do merge.
Hannah: Hannah has been a disappointment in that she’s kind of blah when it comes to the nuts and bolts of the game. I mean, yeah, she has panic attacks so she’s gotten some camera time for that as well as her impulsive nature to randomly switch her vote with no logical reason whatsoever, but she does not appear to be making any move to further her game. She seems willing to just be a passenger this season, not someone who is looking to drive at any point.
David: David has the tools (Immunity Idol) to be a main character this season moving forward. The question always will be whether David can control his paranoia and anxiety. David seems to be off people’s radar as an immediate threat….I think. I’m still hoping for the David/Ken/Adam alliance coming at some point…
Ken: Admit it…Ken has grown on you too. How can you not root for the guy? We just really need Ken to make it to the merge safely. I feel pretty confident that he is going to make it and will be around for a little bit.
Michelle: Michelle is the shark this season, swimming around with a dull black look in her eyes. Michelle will strike sharply and quickly if she senses any danger. She has shown the ability to make things happen too, so you can’t underestimate her. I enjoy watching her play the game and it will be really interesting to see how big of a threat she is perceived to be by the other players. Right now I can’t tell at all.
That leads us into tonight. It seems like Millennials for the while are all over the place. I don’t think they will come together come merge, and even if they think they will, I don’t see it happening. As bad as I have thought some of the players are this season, it’s still been a very entertaining season. I hope for some more of the same tonight. Let’s see what will unfold this season! It’s 8 pm Portland, Oregon time:
8 pm
Previously on Survivor
We review the recent happenings of the past couple of weeks. Once again we get to relive the Figgy vote out (Thanks, CBS!). We have one last chance to say goodbye to Michaela as we relive her exit. She was a worthy competitor…I’ll see you in another life, brotha…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7K1A0bh9Cs
8:01
We are back with the Ikabula (sweet name…what?) post-vote. Jay shares with us why he made the move he did…And basically Jay is feeling himself, knowing that he just made a big move. He’s walking around like the big swinging d**k at camp.
8:02
Hannah is mad. She tells us that she was left out of knowing what was going down as well as everybody thinking that she is “dumb”…Well Hannah, what have you done this season to convince us that you’re anything above a neurotic, impulsive, mess in Survivor? Seriously, Hannah, wake up and start playing, then you can complain. She tells us that her next move is going to be getting revenge on Jay…Smart.
8:03
The next morning, we are still with the green team as a speed boat comes to shore. The “captain” of the boat drops off the news that they are merging! Hoo Ah! We get the merge.
Bret halfheartedly tells us that now he can maybe trust Jay, but that his main focus is reconnecting with his man crush Chris.
Fast-forward to a montage of the other two tribes moving their things getting ready for the merge. Here we go!
8:05
Commercial Break
It’s really tough not to talk about the election, but whatever, it’s over and done with. I really hope Trump proposes a law to clean up Facebook from women doing a variety of things that can only be categorized as annoying and obnoxious. Does every mom have to write a message to their seven or younger kid on Facebook under the guise that their kid is ever going to read it or see it, when it’s really for all of us to read? I hate it. I would rather the women just put: “Here are things I love about my child” and then give us the list of traits that we can all applaud and cheer about with you. But no, instead we all have to play along with the façade that we are eavesdropping on some letter from a mother that she meant for her child to see….We all know that kid is not going to go back in twenty years and read whatever you wrote on a f**king Facebook.
I know I have hammered on this point before, but the problem is only getting worse. I just don’t like the fakeness of it all….Call me a cynic, but it is obnoxious and I know many of you agree with me. Instead of writing this fake “letter” to your kid who is either too young to see it on Facebook or will never see it in general, how about this– what if you just read it or say it to them in private??????? How about that?
8:07
Okay, back from break we join everybody hugging and secretly plotting the death of the person next to them in the game. Everybody gets some food and some wine. I wonder how they split up the wine…Is Will going to take a sip and get sick? Is Will allowed to drink here? Would there be anything better than Will hoarding the bottle of wine, blacking out, and getting really physically aggressive with everybody there? Let’s make this happen!
8:09
Jay calls himself the “king pin”…because that usually works out for you when you start thinking you have it made in Survivor….If this were a horror movie, Jay just basically said “I’ll be right back” or “Let me go skinny dipping at midnight at this creepy camp where seventy-four other young adults have been murdered over the course of every Friday the Thirteenth movie”.
Taylor decides to have everybody introduce themselves again, which okay, okay, we did this already, but hell let’s go for it again. Bret picks up on Jay clearly being close with the other Millennials and decides it’s time to reconvene with Chris.
Chris fills in Bret on everything that has happened. Chris is unsure on where they stand in the game.
8:10
Next we get Zeke, Adam and Hannah joining up to talk about everything that has happened on their respected tribes.
Zeke points out that Jay is the top dog. I think he is giving Jay a little too much credit with how much social power he has.
Commercial Break
When I say the name Dermot Mulroney, what does it mean to you? He’s been “that guy” for a very long time, and apparently, is next stop is on a new CBS drama called Pure Genesis, that I’m guessing will be pure crap. He’s like one of those guys who was in movies in the late 80’s and 90’s who goes from network to network every season trotting out a new drama that never makes it. I know he was in My Best Friend’s Wedding…I know he was in Young Guns and I know he was in about thirty crappy romcoms that are just blended together in my mind.
8:15
Back from break, everybody is pigging out on the food they got. Adam tells us that he doesn’t really need the food; he needs the idol that he knows or thinks is somewhere out there.
…And that didn’t take long…Adam finds an advantage. The advantage is stealing a reward from somebody that has already won the prize. So basically, it’s kind of a double-edged sword reward. I would impulsively blow that on something stupid like food or something minimal.
8:17
In the middle of the night, Taylor thinks he’s being smooth with a brilliant plan to steal food from the stash. He immediately starts clanging around and wakes up Bret who in utter disgust sees him and just decides that he may be the stupidest person in the world.
Next Adam see’s Taylor stealing food and decides he is going to take this opportunity to build rapport again with Taylor. I don’t like this move, Adam…Stop…Just stop. I mean, I get it…Taylor is dumb, but this is too obvious.
And yeah, Taylor is seeing through Adam’s BS (as he continues to chow down on the food like a squirrel). Taylor tells us that he plans to blindside Adam. I like Adam, but if he can’t see how this isn’t going to work then he is digging his own grave.
8:20
The next morning, people are realizing that food is missing. Bret and Chris want to strike now on the Millennials.
Next Ken, David and Jessica also agree that Taylor or a Millennial needs to go next. Can we please get Jessica out of this equation?
Commercial Break
I’m not a historian, but I think Trump is the first President since Hoover to win a battle of the Billionaires at WrestleMania? If there are any history buffs out there reading this, could you confirm this for me? This is going to be a “fun” four years…Give or take.
8:26
Back from break, we join Jay and Taylor. Jay points out to Taylor that they need to stay strong with Millennials and get out a Gen-Xer. Taylor then shares with Jay that Adam wants to take out Will.
Of course, Jay and Taylor don’t survey their surroundings because Zeke hears them talking about getting Adam out. Well this is shaping up to be a good one.
8:28
Will gets told that his name has been thrown out there and the poor kid is a little freaked out about this development.
8:29
It’s time for the immunity challenge. This week, the competition is having to stand in place with your arms raised. I’m thinking this going to be won by one of the Millennials.
8:30
Within thirty seconds, Sunday is out.
Next Chris drops…..And on cue, five seconds later Bret drops…How fitting.
This competition is a great view on who has armpit hair.
Zeke drops. Jay drops.
Ken Drops.
Hannah drops.
Jessica has a scary blank stare going on. She looks like the Statue of Liberty.
Michelle drops.
Taylor drops..
David drops
Adam drops.
It comes down to Jessica and Will.
One hour deep and we’re still here. Both are looking strong.
8:36
After an hour and thirty-six minutes, Jessica drops. Will is your winner tonight. Good for the kid.
Adam sends us to commercial telling us that he needs a back-up plan because Will just royally screwed plan A.
Commercial Break
Yeah, I have no idea with where we are headed tonight. Could Adam get blindsided or is he smart enough to see it coming? I’m guessing we might get an idol played by one of the nine people who seemingly have one. It seems like Jay or Taylor could go, but Jay has an idol so I have no clue with where we are headed tonight.
8:41
Back from break, we join everybody post-competition. Will gets respect from everyone, easily the highlight of his season so far. Will shares with us that he wants Adam out.
Michelle hears this news and is not a fan of this plan. Michelle thinks that move is strictly personal not business. Michelle is showing us that out of this younger subset of the Millennial team that she is the smartest.
8:42
Zeke shares with Adam that he heard Taylor telling Jay about the Will plan. The plan on their end is now to gun for Taylor.
8:43
Zeke, Chris, Ken, David and Adam talk about getting either Taylor or Michelle out. David thinks that Taylor has an idol, so they think they should target Michelle. Ken doesn’t like that plan. He wants to go for Taylor…Wow, this is hard to keep up with.
8:44
Taylor cockily thinks he has Adam dead to rights. God, I hope they get Taylor out.
8:45
Wow…Now Zeke is waffling on Adam and is considering voting him out. This is tough to keep up with.
8:47
We head to Tribal. Adam brings the idol, but will he play it????
Taylor gets called out for eating the food at camp. He doesn’t see it as a big deal that he ate his food. Wow …Just wow…. He caps off this whole conversation with a “Rock out, bro!”….For the love of god…
8:50
So far, it’s tough to get a sense of where we are headed tonight with this vote. Taylor keeps telling us that he isn’t worried….Again, I hope to god that he should be worried.
8:51
Okay, we go to the votes and I have no read on this whatsoever.
Vomit….as Taylor writes down Adam’s name and says, “This one is for Figs”.
8:52
Jeff asks if anybody wants to play the idol…..Adam chooses not to…
We go to the votes:
Adam
Michelle
Adam
Michelle
Adam
Michelle
Adam
Michelle
Michelle
Michelle
8th person voted out is Michelle!!!!! Jay, Will, and Taylor look confused. Wow! What a crazy last twenty minutes of Survivor.
Recap
I’m actually a little bit upset to see Michelle go. Clearly, she was the smart one out of the younger Millennials and I would have liked to see how she would have done a little further in the game. But just like the election, we can’t change what happened and now we just have to accept the future that we currently have to work with.
My power rankings haven’t changed at all. To me, Adam or David are the two most dangerous players in the game. Adam is clearly a target now moving forward, you would think, but Taylor and Jay have such bad instincts in this game that maybe a couple of weeks of targeting the Millennials will help Adam slink back into a non-target position It’s doubtful, but you never know. Let’s talk here. Who honestly do you guys think, besides Adam or David, could you see winning this game?????
Thanks for reading. See you next week!
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