Back again for week four. Here we go.
Last week, we got the big reveal of a mutant third tribe, created by the Survivor gods from scraps left over from past Survivor players forged into a mess of a team…the yellow tribe…okay, maybe a little overdramatic….but come on. The yellows on paper don’t look too hot. I half expect the yellows to show up at the next challenge like this:
Doesn’t it feel like the yellow team is going to be decimated one by one unless the producers come up with another forced, contrived gimmick to switch things up? I don’t see how they avoid another Tribal Council unless the next competition is a random one that takes no strength or skill…like maybe a rock/paper/scissors comp…which actually I would love to see. Really, though, the creation of Team Yellow, basically salvaged my Spencer pick. It’s as if the Survivor gods said:
“Scott, your Spencer pick to win it all was so good, so well-thought out that we don’t want him to be voted out this early in the game. What we’re thinking of doing, even though it’s completely crazy and is going to come off so forced, is create a third team…Yes, I know it sounds crazy and it’s way too early to do this, but in order to save Spencer and more importantly, your Spencer pick, we have to do this. We are going to stash him on a stacked team where he probably won’t be going to Tribal Council until the merge happens…You’re welcome.
–XOXO Survivor gods”
So maybe that didn’t happen exactly like that, but I’ll take it. I mean, there is nothing worse than writing for a site on Survivor and continuing to pick the most idiotic people to win the game season after season…Now, granted this is an all-star season so I had the benefit of knowing the players ahead of time; therefore, it’s not as if I can take full credit for knowing how to instinctually pick a good Survivor player. If you look at some of my past picks…they’re awful…they’re gruesome…I think one year I picked that poker player, Garrett, who had a mental breakdown from not eating on day 1 and was gone I believe as the first or second person voted out. It’s embarrassing if you pick a player to win the season and they are one of the first three gone. I need to beat the other writers on this site. I need your support. I’m drawing a line in the sand….You’re either with me or you’re against me….Who’s coming with me?…..
Now fast forward to 60 minutes from now when Spencer is voted out and this will be the most unintentionally funny first opening to a blog ever. I don’t even like Spencer that much, but I’m so competitive that, even though I think at times he has acted like a douche, he’s the pick I made, so I need him to win…..Let’s see if the Survivor gods continue to have my back…It’s 8 pm Portland, Oregon time:
8 pm
Previously on Survivor, I forgot how swarmy it was when Spencer was trying to bond with Jeremy through emotional relationship talk. Talk about lost love with Jeremy to better your game…I guess…whatever works for you.
8:02
Post-vote with Team Mellow Yellow, we join Jeff who is privately celebrating the fact that he dodged getting any votes at the last Tribal. For some reason, the soundtrack from Johnny Depp’s Public Enemies is playing in the background…seriously, watch the start of this episode again and then play this clip:
Bizarre.
8:03
Tasha and Woo are having a talk and Tasha is saying that Jeff should have been the one to go. Tasha reassures Woo that he is not going anywhere.
Wow, on cue and just like in week two, Abi shows up exactly at the wrong/right time as Tasha is having this talk with Woo (who voted for Abi)…I literally saw a producer’s hand pushing Abi to the mark right where she was supposed to go to “confront” Tasha.
8:04
Savage explains the double-edged sword of aligning with Abi, and I understand where he is coming from because Abi makes Gollum look like a more mentally stable and trustworthy alliance partner.
Abi gives us a little crazy for thirty seconds explaining in a nutshell that Woo wrote down her name, so he has to be the next to go…not a completely irrational thought.
8:05
We join the Bayon tribe as Jeremy talks about the happiness of finding the hidden idol. I would have the worst poker face if I found the idol. I would be walking around like a high school student that smoked pot for the first time…hyperparanoid.
Stephen asks Jeremy if he has had any luck finding the idol. Jeremy is keeping this secret to himself and is really selling to Stephen that they need to find it. Jeremy tells us that he is willing to take Stephen all the way to the finals with him.
8:06
Commercial break:
Last week I said there were no good dramas on TV right now, but I totally forgot about Fargo, whose second season premiered on Monday night and it was fantastic. Great cast but every shot of the episode was good, and I definitely feel comfortable saying it’s the best drama on TV right now. I strongly recommend getting into it. Granted the competition right now is Blue Bloods, Code Black, and Blacklist…
And the robot show on USA Network is really good too, but that season just ended so technically. I’m right about Fargo being the best TV drama on right now.
8:08
Back from commercial and back with the yellow team. Savage is lamenting his current situation. No food, no respectable shelter…He calls his current situation “Hell”. Granted with Woo, Jeff and Abi there with him, I can understand why Savage feels like he is in Hell.
8:10
Everybody in the community joins each other for the Reward Challenge. Jeff then announces that Peih-Gee has been voted out and the camera accidently catches Kass and Kelley Went mouthing to each other, “Which one was Peih-Gee?”…probably too awkward of a moment to have shared with us.
It is announced that the first team to finish the competition wins a barbecue set while second place wins a smaller set of kitchen appliances. I feel like they need the models from The Price is Right to unveil prizes like that with Jeff telling us the retail value of each prize. Anybody against this?
8:11
The three players chosen to do the challenge are Savage, Terry, and Jeremy. I guess it’s the Senior Circuit: 40 and Older Only Challenge….Wait is Jeremy forty?….Thinking…..Eff it, he could be 40.
8:14
Highlight of the show this week: Probst yelling, “Dietz, big and long”…First off, that’s what she said; secondly, I would think that’s a compliment most men would love to hear.
8:15
Savage with some serious clutch moments as he wins the challenge for the Yellows.
Terry and the fighting Ta Keos come in second.
8:16
Tasha gets emotional when discussing what this win means to the tribe…I mean, they won supplies but did they actually win food too? Because stop me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think Hell has much in the way of food options, no?
8:17
Commercial Break:
My weekly anti-Code Black rant of the week. Okay, here is the literal preview for tonight’s episode… cough, cough, smoky voice: “What if your next patient….was …….a ……killer?” As it cuts to some actress really going for it with her facial expressions as she apparently is holding a syringe filled with medicine that could help the killer…but…but…will her morals allow her to save a killer? I’m going to guess that she doesn’t want to save the killer, but one of the older doctors is going to say something like: “Look, rookie…we don’t play god here…right or wrong…our job is to save people….even….monsters like him.” Are there different moments during the show when one of the characters yells “Code Black”? I’m sure Code Black means something serious, but if I were an actor on that show, I would be chomping at the bit to yell “Code Black” over and over again.
8:21
Back from commercial, we join the victorious Savage and the Yellows enjoying the food they won..so to answer my earlier question, yes, they did win food to go along with their supplies.
8:22
We next join Kass. It’s been a while since we have heard from Kass. Looks like she has been laying low. She tells us that since the last time she played she read a pretty recent self-help book called How to Win Friends and Influence People…which I think just came out in 1957. I actually read that book in high school. The only thing I remember from that is that it’s good to call everybody by their first name and to say it around them as much as possible as I guess it makes people happy to hear their name out loud a lot…
Kelley Went sees Kass cutting up her beads and goes to investigate what the hell she could be up to as she is skeptical and tells us that she doesn’t trust Kass. As she approaches Kass, Kass waves her away and tells her to “get away”…..Kelley was obviously right to be skeptical as I never would trust that ……
Oh wait, Kass made Kelley a present with those beads as apparently it’s Kelley’s birthday….like I said, Kelley was wrong for not trusting Kass.
8:24
Jeremy, Stephen, and Spencer talk. Jeremy asks Spencer about Kelly Wigles and Spencer has no issue with throwing Kelly under the bus.
Monica is not buying it and she breaks her record for this season as we see her on camera for more than twenty-eight seconds. Is it me or is she really hot, though? I think that’s as deep as my analysis is going to go tonight.
8:25
Commercial break:
There was an airline commercial and it got me thinking of what the worst airline is out there. I’m super-biased, so I’m going with Southwest. When I was 14, I was flying from my dad’s and was supposed to fly to San Diego to see some friends. We got there a little late, so when I got there and got in line to get my boarding pass, I was towards the back of the line and I guess they overbooked the flight because, well, they overbooked the flight, and a group of us in the back were told that we were essentially screwed….So I was 14 at that time, which means that I wasn’t young enough to where bumping me would have been illegal or against policy, but I wasn’t old enough to deal with a situation like that alone. I had to basically come close to crying for the Southwest staff member of the next flight that I was put on standby for to secretly slip me a boarding pass for. Yeah, not my proudest moment, but seriously how shady is that? I mean overbooking flights and being okay with maybe screwing over 10-15 people??? I’m sure everybody has an airline that they hate, but I’m sticking with Southwest.
8:30
Time for the Immunity Challenge. It’s the blindfold game, where two people are blindfolded and one person shouts out directions. I guess you could say this comp is one that could be wide-open and fair for teams less athletically inclined.
It’s really hard to describe the action here. It’s chaos…Everybody is trying hard…Terry is wandering around blindfolded, alone probably about a half mile away from the action.
8:35
Everybody gets the puzzle pieces that they need and it’s going to be a tight race to the finish.
8:37
Bayon and Ta Keo come in first and second. Back to Tribal for the Mellow Yellows.
Savage tries to explain the difficulties of his position, but basically, has a mental breakdown or stroke while trying to explain it…I feel for the guy actually.
8:38
Commercial break:
You know what bothers me right now? This.
Bennett
Aiden
Sage
Liam
Michael
William
Mason
Jacob
Everett
River
That is the list of the ten most popular baby names for boys right now. So many douche names on this list…..I mean “River”? What? Seriously, don’t be “that parent”. Give your kid a normal name…Don’t try to be overly fancy because really, if you do that, you’re no better than a Kardashian…Trust me, all your friends will secretly hate you and your kid if you name them River or Aiden…Don’t do it…You have been warned.
8:42
Back from commercial, we join the Despondent Yellows. Tasha tells us that Abi is unpredictable…Maybe the understatement of the season.
Jeff’s name gets thrown around a little bit too. Things have gotten so bad for Jeff that he is strategizing with Woo.
8:44
Woo makes his pitch to Abi. At least Abi is smart enough to see through his Woo-ness and isn’t buying it.
8:46
Tasha and Abi talk, with Abi wanting to take out Woo. Tasha wants to take out Jeff. Abi tells Tasha that she is “thinking” maybe twenty or thirty times.
Tough to know where this is headed tonight. Looks like it’s either Woo or Jeff going, though.
8:48
Tribal Council time. Jeff Probst goes to Jeff V first, but a bat or flying unidentified thingy comes by and scares the shit out of everybody…Everybody needs a moment to gather themselves.
8:49
Jeff V absolutely destroys Woo with making his pitch. He plays to each person’s ego, but Tasha is clearly not wanting to vote out Woo.
8:52
Woo makes one last pitch to Abi. I really have no clue where this is headed between Woo and Jeff V … gun to my head, I think Jeff is going.
8:53
We go to the votes:
Jeff
Woo
Jeff
The fourth person voted out is Jeff V. Kind of bittersweet as Jeff was fun to watch play the game. As someone that really brought no physical skills to the table, he clearly has some social skills and the game is more fun with him around. I liked that he didn’t go out like a dead fish like so many other players do. Props to you Jeff V and I’ll see you in another life, brotha.
Recap:
Who the hell knows once again where this game is headed. The past two weeks have been primarily focused on the creation and demise of the Yellows. How much longer can the producers let them suffer like this before merging or creating some other wrinkle that dissolves this monstrosity of a team? To take this night full circle, I go back to looking at my Spencer pick to win this game. As long as he stashed away with the Bayons, he will be in a good place, I think, because I don’t see them going to Tribal for at least a couple of episodes. I mean, if the odds were put up in Vegas, you’ve got to think that Spencer would at worst be a 10/1 favorite to win the game. If you take my personal vested interest out of this, then the other favorites I wouldn’t mind throwing some coin down on would be Savage (I liked his performance this episode) and Jeremy (crazy…but he has an idol and appears to be in a good place). I know Kelley Went has an idol, but she’s playing a little paranoid for me. I just don’t see her winning the game.
Once again, though, you should never listen to my theories on who is going to win the game because they usually go down in flames….So, with that said, who are the three favorites to win this game as of now? Thanks for reading. See you next week!
