Survivor

Guest Post: The Surprising Role that Underwear and Other Unmentionables is Playing on Survivor

Episode II:  Attack of the Boobs

By: Matthew Bok

Who would have thought that two episodes in, boobs would have played such an integral part of Survivor: One world?  In our first installment the men tried to barter a peek for fire, while in the second chapter women blamed boobs for their undoing in the immunity challenge.  Speaking of challenges…

There is an interesting dynamic when it comes to Survivor challenges.  In seasons where there is a random pairing of people the challenges can require strength, speed, agility, puzzle solving ability, shuffleboard, or other skills.  When the teams are split along gender lines the challenges are always geared to favor a particular gender.  Not to be sexist, but strength generally favors men, balance favors women, etc.  Three challenges in, 2.5 (the rope challenge is mostly neutral) of them have favored the men.  Two balance challenges?  Really?  Still the women find themselves inexplicably with a donut in the win column.

I predicted last week that Colton’s immunity idol wouldn’t remain hidden for long.  I said that he wouldn’t be able to keep it to himself, and for right now he’s in an okay spot.  The thing that hurts Colton in the short-term is the men winning.  The longer the men win the longer it is before he can play the idol.  If the men win next week I think that Colton will have alienated the few allies he currently has.  What are the odds that he won’t p*ss off one of the people that knows that he has it.  One of them will go to the four whoresmen of the apocalypse and the five will vote someone else out, flushing the idol.

As bad as Colton’s play was the first three days, he outdid himself in the next two, managing to make the women against him also.  The one thing he’s done so far that wasn’t bad for him was asking for the idol, but outside of that he’s done more sitting around than Heidi after a spider bite, not really doing anything.  The clock is running down on his Survivor time.  He has a time-out to stop the clock, but it’s just a matter of someone taking a knee to run out the rest of his time.

Outside of Colton the men didn’t get much airtime outside of Tarzan’s banana hammock.  Even if that is your underwear of choice in the real world, why would you wear it if you know that’s what you’re going to be walking around in on national television?  He looked like he was smuggling an immunity idol in there.  You try not to look, but it’s like a car crash (or boobs), it’s an eye magnet.  Tarzan’s jewel snuggler gets the player of the week for the men, because it’s the only thing I can remember (and can’t forget.)

Speaking of underwear…the women took the opposite approach of Tarzan.  Be pleasing to the eye.  Flaunt it if you’ve got it.  Wear lingerie that some would call date-night lingerie.  They know what they have and they wanted to show it.  There’s less skin shown at one of IluvMiki’s football games.

The player that came off the worst this week is definitely Kat.  So cute, but oh so young and foolish.  She wasn’t the sole reason for the immunity loss, but she was one of them.  Fortunately for her she is like the Ted Kennedy of Survivor, since she’s on the right side she can screw up and continue to be a Senator no matter what she does.  Also like Ted, she’ll never be President (win the game), she’ll have to be content with being part of the in-crowd until they run out of outsiders to get rid of.  The other two women that came off as bad were Christina and Monica.  They both voted for people that were in their alliance.  This isn’t Big Brother.  Your show of solidarity with the majority isn’t going to get you a seat at the cool kids table.

Nina almost could have been up for player of the week, and if editing was to be believed it was closer than it actually was.  She made valid points, people agreed with her, but at the end of the day the hour-two alliances were more important than what is in the long-term best interests of the tribe.  It’s a stance that actually makes sense.  The women’s tribe is already in a world of hurt, and betraying alliances so early in the game would have made their tribe even more fragmented than it already is.  Their ship is listing badly, and unless something drastic happens (see predictions) they will become fodder for Pagonging.

So no one really stood out as playing well this week, and a few stood out as playing badly.  It’s still early in the game, and outside of the two boots, Colton is still the one with absolutely no shot, though Kat is really in a bad spot right now.
Past Predictions:

Colton will tell someone about his idol:  check

Someone on the girls’ tribe will tell the Fratboy Alliance about Colton’s immunity idol:  TBD

Alicia will be the second boot:  nope

Colton will annoy people on both tribes:  check

Men will find hidden women’s idol:  nope/TBD

Previews:

Rain is coming.  Better get inside.  The men have a (good) shelter and fire.  The women have a crappy shelter and no fire.  The men don’t give the women fire.  Is there a point where basic humanity takes you out of the game and you cut someone a break?  Not if they want to win.  Kat (I think it was her) summons the spirit of Naonka and whines about the weather and the cold.  Will this be the first time that the quitting changes get applied?  I don’t think so, because she’s had way too much airtime.  It’s much ado about nothing and no one quits…yet.

Predictions:

As mentioned the first week the castaways this season seem to have a lack of Survivor knowledge and how the game has played out before.  I think that things will come to a boiling point with Colton and the men will say that enough is enough.  They will either throw the challenge (quite possible) or will just lose it.  This will lead to Greg being voted off.  There will be five votes for Greg and four for Matt.  Colton will play the idol.  The swap will still be episode five, and the men will still have an 8-6 advantage.  If the women lose next week Christina will be gone.  Still sticking with my prediction of Bill as the winner (he is still on the show, right?)

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