Survivor Kaoh Rong

Survivor: Saving Private Tai

Here we are, back for a very important episode of Survivor. Look, I’m feeling a little more gun-shy this week after singlehandedly jinxing Nick last week, which ultimately led to his demise. No, it wasn’t a move he made when the show was filmed probably six months ago– it was literally me picking Nick as the top dog that led to his being voted out last week. For this, I am sorry Nick. Now I really have no idea where to go with this season. I mean, who are we looking at here for real challengers to win the game? Someone has to win, right? It just seems like there is no way to project who is coming out of this slop this season: Nobody and everybody has a chance. Maybe my original theory I put out there for the first half of the season will come to fruition…

Maybe my original theory  which I had put out for the first half of the season will come to fruition–a female winner being destined this season. Nick’s demise after having looked so strong the previous week has only muddied up the waters of a very murky season already. I think we are living in a Survivor world this season where most of us are not going to be really satisfied whoever ends up winning this season. It just feels that way to me. Maybe someone over the last few episodes will really stand out and separate themselves from the herd, but honestly, it doesn’t really feel like that is going to happen this season, right?

Once again, let’s look at where everybody is standing heading into tonight:

Cydney: I guess we will start with Cydney as maybe she deserves the “top dog” placement for her orchestration of the Nick assassination last week. Cydney made a big move– clearly she was agitated all episode, so I think her ability to manage her emotions is going to be more and more limited as we proceed, but I don’t think she is the only one left in the game that shares that trait. We will see if she becomes the de facto leader of the “all-girls” alliance.

Jason: Jason, we can guess, probably feels blindsided by the Nick departure and will probably overreact and want blood, but will he be smart enough to link the move right back to Cydney? You would think anyone with half a brain would be able to, but he is a Brawn after all, so who knows. He has an idol, but it’s clear that he doesn’t quite comprehend how fast things can change in Survivor. He needs to stop resting on his laurels and stay in the moment if he doesn’t want to end up going home with an idol in his pocket.

Scot: Another one that just pretty much mailed it in last episode as far as social gameplay is concerned. It’s safe to say he was pretty much caught off guard with what was happening, like when Vince Vaughn shows up to bowl in The Break-Up:

Scot doesn’t seem to have the social weapons to make a lot happen at camp, not that he’s an awful player or anything, but he seems to lack the ability to really get the better players of this season to fully follow his lead. It seems like his days might be numbered soon if the women and/or brains can find the upper hand.

Debbie: Debbie is ready to beg, borrow and deal, basically willing to do whatever it takes to make it one vote to the next and for that you have to applaud her will and heart to make it in this game. Debbie’s problem is that she just rubs people the wrong way, so for her survival, she needs to get past tonight, get the number of people on “her side”, at least more balanced in her favor. I could potentially see her as a target tonight, but if she can survive tonight, anything can happen down the road.

Joe: Joe seems to be more and more in the background as each episode goes by, highlighted last week when he was cashed out on the hammock as the boys were strategizing. The producers should just have taken it a step further and set up a recliner and Matlock episodes for Joe to watch.

Personally, I like Joe. I just don’t know if he knows what the hell is going on around him now. It’s like the game sped up and got so complicated with people saying one thing and doing another, so that Joe is just like “The hell with it” and just going with the flow. I don’t think he will be a target tonight, but if battle lines are drawn with the women and the men, will Joe know it?

Aubry: Aubry is still looking perpetually uncomfortable hanging in there. Maybe nobody benefited more from Cydney’s aggressiveness than Aubry last week. We will see how that cookie crumbles and whether Aubry is still a target for the other side tonight. Who is Aubry’s “ride and die” partner now moving forward? Will she just hope this all-girls alliance has legs and ride that out for as long as it does, or is there another move for her to make?

Michele: Michele seems to have emerged as the trendy dark-horse pick by some of you as a potential winner this season, and on one hand I kind of see it, and then, on the other hand, she seems like she isn’t really a leader per say. I guess this season it really doesn’t matter because I can see a final tribal where someone like Michele wins because the people next to her are so hated that the jury says FU to those people and gives Michele the money. Not to say that Michele can’t completely deserve it on her own merit, just saying I could see a hostile jury this season.

Julia: Julia gets some credit for not taking the easy way out last week and at least being a part of a pretty big move last episode. I don’t know if it’s better for Julia to slink back to the Brawn men or stick with the girls now until the bitter end. I don’t see a path or a scenario that leads Julia to becoming the winner this season, but I do see a scenario where someone else decides they would like to sit next to her in the finals. I guess I don’t see her being a target tonight (Cue to 8:55 tonight as Jeff is extinguishing her fire).

Tai: Maybe Tai could be our other dark horse to win this season. He looked really good last episode when he outlasted Cydney in that Immunity Challenge. I think for him the tough part is that he is so likable and good at challenges that he is maybe the biggest threat in the game. I think he will be good for the next couple episodes though as there is a power struggle for numbers, so maybe everybody will be distracted to notice that Tai is such a huge threat this season. For Tai, it just comes down to when and how he will play his idol. Will he join forces with Jason or will he play the idol in another way? Tai seems willing to do what other people want, so I can see him helping Jason even if it’s not the best move for his game. I’m pulling for Tai, though, as he was one of the only picks I got right heading into this season.

So that’s my breakdown of everybody heading into tonight, which after tonight at best will probably be laughable and at worst pathetic. Will the girls solidify their alliance as one annoying, dominating alliance or will the Brawn men strike back? Will Joe have to get up to pee seven times tonight? All these questions will hopefully be answered tonight!

It’s 8 pm, Portland, Oregon time. Let’s sit back and watch everything unfold.

8 pm

Previously on Survivor: Basically, last week ended with the Brawns going into the Shower Room in The Rock

with the women sneak attacking Nick and the rest of the Brawn/Beauty men. It was a big night for Cydney.

8:01

Back after the last vote. Tai gives a “girl power” to the girls. This leads to Tai confusingly asking Scot if this means the girls are “together”…Yes, Tai…yes, it does.

Jason, Scot and Tai vow to use the super-idol next time anything wonky should happen at the next vote….AND they decide to take away their food??? I guess they are taking this setback in stride.

Tai is slightly uncomfortable with this “aggressive” plan of Jason and Scot’s….I’m sure the producers are also sweating a little bit at the thought of bullies taking over the game….

8:03

We have an early morning talk with Scot, Jason and Joe, who’s probably been up way earlier than everybody else. As Joe is making the fire, Scot and Jason take the machete and ax..I guess the plan is to piss everybody off.

I’m sure this will play out well just like they’ve figured in their minds: “We’ll hide the tools and turn everybody against us more and then they will learn their lesson and never vote in a way that we don’t like again”…I guess that’s the thinking? Seems pretty iron clad to me.

Commercial Break:

I finally saw Black Mass this past weekend. Johnny Depp, I guess was good, because he’s always good, but his make-up looked so creepy.  He almost looked like a CGI character.

Also in that scene and in the movie playing Johnny Depp’s right hand man and psychopath is the guy that played the main stoner in Dazed and Confused, and so the whole movie I kept waiting for him to turn to Johnny Depp and go “Check you later” while wearing a T-shirt with a bong on it.

Black Mass one of those movies that leaves you just feeling bad about yourself and the world, but it wasn’t good enough like Goodfellas to make you ever want to watch it again. It was like a one-time viewing type of movie in my humble opinion. I think we’re due for Johnny Depp to be in a really good movie again, one that isn’t a Disney movie or one where he’s not playing an over-the-top character in a C+ movie…Maybe I’m in the minority here, though?

8:07

We come back and immediately Joe and everybody figures out that some of the tools are missing. Everybody is obviously irritated. They just try to adjust with what they got to somehow cut some wood. Scot watches on with a very disturbed look on his face.

This then leads to Scot standing up grabbing water and pouring it out on the fire. Everybody is confused and this is not a good look for Scot or Jason. Poor Tai is just having to sit back and watch this, obviously he doesn’t want to be a part of this, but he’s not feeling (so far) like he can stand up to them.

8:11

Mercifully, we head to the Reward Challenge.

Debbie shares the hijinks back at camp with Jeff. Jeff asks Scot to explain his rationale for his behavior, which leads to a less than stellar answer from Scot. Things are ugly out here this season.

8:13

Nice reward challenge prize tonight as it’s take-out Chinese food.

Jeff gives everybody the chance to pick their own teams, which leads to Julia defecting from the girls’ team, which then leads to a huge raised eyebrow from Cydney.

Joe chooses to sit out, but gets to pick which team he thinks will win and if he’s right he gets the reward too.  For reasons that are not clear, he decides to pick the all-girls’ team.

8:17

The boys’ team and Julia wins. Why on earth would Joe choose the girls? Scot and Jason have been pretty douchey this episode, but you have to admit it was kind of funny seeing them win.

Julia now has put a huge target on her back. I don’t know if there was a smoother way to join the boys’ team for this challenge, if there was, it wasn’t the route that she went with, though. She should consider not joining the all-you-can-eat Chinese food buffet back at camp.

Commercial Break:

Honest question: Are people really talking themselves into Donald Trump…Like is this something that is really going to happen? I mean, I’m not talking politics or what side one of you might be on, I’m just honestly asking if this is really going to happen? My good friend RJ has talked himself in Trump, so I assume other people are too, and wow, this should be the funniest election in our nation’s history. Can Trump at least host his next rally or press conference in his old Apprentice boardroom flanked by the old guy and the steely blonde woman that always looked pissed off, as reporters are firing questions at Trump.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGYUjEkC8Hs

Maybe at the end of the press conference, he can pick a reporter at random and fire him and ask everybody to leave? Would anyone be against seeing this? Seriously, my first memory of Donald Trump is as a kid watching him host Wrestlemania IV, so I’m not sure if that is a check in the good or bad box, but I guess only in America.

8:22

Back from break, we join everybody post-competition.

The victors all enjoy their Chinese food. The boys take their crack at trying to swing Julia, who is already thinking ahead. She’s thinking that these two assholes are so unlikable that she should roll with them.

8:24

The losing team all are guessing at which way Julia will swing now.

Debbie and Julia talk, with Debbie trying to feel out Julia. Julia asks Debbie what the plan is, but Cydney sees this and is not feeling Julia at all. Cydney’s agitation level is probably at a 7 right now, but we still have a lot of time left in the show tonight, so I could foresee it getting to a nine or ten by the end.

Commercial break:

If you had to buy stock in who will have the next really big movie again between; Tom Cruise, Will Smith or John Travolta, it has to be Will Smith, right? I mean, John Travolta is out, not even sure why I have even brought him up in this. I guess only because at a couple points he has had huge comebacks in his career, but then I just remembered he is playing Robert Shapiro in the OJ Simpson TV miniseries, so on pure principle, he is out.

Tom Cruise needs to carry a big hit in the worst way. Maybe a new Top Gun movie will put him back over the top. I don’t know about you guys, but I need Tom Cruise back in my life. It’s always fun to see him and the woman he’s with who has the invisible shock collar around her neck that the Scientology people monitor in case she tries to escape ever. I guess Will Smith is the answer, though.I mean, yes he has been on like a five-year cold streak. The one movie he made with his son, the science fiction movie was really the straw that broke the camel’s back. And how is he not in the new Independence Day movie they are making???? I just need to know if he turned them down or did they turn him down? I still think he should have said yes when Tarantino offered him Django. He could have spun his career off into a better area…He blew it. Will Smith suffers from thinking  Will Smith is the best thing ever. I dare anybody to try and sit through this 40 minutes of self-aggrandizing Will Smith and Jada Picket Smith (who nobody under 35 years old knows) talk about how wonderful they are without vomiting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8-Xm8q57B8

So I’m pulling for Cruise but I bet it will be Will Smith.

8:29

Back from break, it’s night and we join Tai as he shares that he is committed to Scot and Jason, and for some reason, he now decides to put the fire out sneakily. It’s like Tai is Upham at the end of  Saving Private Ryan. War has made him dark.

8:30

Joe wakes up to a no-fire camp and he is making the “I didn’t sign up for this shit” face.

Aubry sort of puts it together that either Scot or Jason has an idol, so the target should be Julia. Aubry is right, sort of that Scot has an idol, but thinks he’s acting like a douche because he has an idol, not because he really is a douche. Either way, she is right.

Debbie still wants to take out Scot and Aubry, walking like an 89-year-old woman, tells us that she is firm in her mind that Julia needs to be the one they vote out.

8:32

Time for the Immunity Challenge. It would be fun if Julia somehow won it tonight….but I’m definitely not going to bet on that happening.

The competition is building a large domino block thing. Not sure who this favors tonight. I just know I would be so stressed that I would probably spazz out throughout the whole competition and start chucking blocks at people.

8:36

Holy Cow! Julia might win this comp…..

NZEURYURUYYUYEzeii&kei !!!! Translation: I can’t believe it, but Julia wins! This should lead to a very interesting Tribal tonight!

Commercial break:

Okay.  I had to hit pause on the show tonight because my girlfriend wanted to go get a drink and my girlfriend is very pretty and hard to say no to. I just got back, and now, I have to think how this is going to play out tonight. Will Jason and Tai burn two idols to join forces to turn the tables? Is that the best move for Tai. I don’t know if I was him if I would play it? I had a Jack and Coke, so my impulsive mind would say: “No, I’m going to hold on to this idol for myself” as I don’t think Tai would be the target, but I guess we will see.

8:42

Back from commercial, the girls talk and Debbie wants to split the votes between Scot and Tai, but Aubry is not happy that Julia is a part of this conversation.

8:43

Julia goes and tells Scot and Jason about the plan. They plan to vote out Cydney, but they also are not sure about Julia.

8:44

Aubry and Cydney talk and both are not happy with Debbie spouting off the plan to Julia and now they want to vote out Debbie? What the hell is happening.

8:45

Cydney and Aubry talk to Joe about their plan to vote out Debbie, but Joe, the voice of reason, looks at them incredulously and just says “no”.

They move on to Julia–the person that they want out, but can’t vote out, but are mad at Debbie for talking game in front of –and now want her to vote with them to take out Debbie.

I think Cydney and Aubry are acting a little too cray cray. Maybe I’m wrong, but they seem a little too frantic.

8:48

We head to Tribal and this should be a good one.

8:49

Julia going with the boys at the challenge turns into the major conversation piece.

8:50

This leads to Scot, Jason and Tai sharing that they have an idol and they put on a huge show for everybody, acting a little clownish saying they are going to play the idols tonight but not sharing the power of combining the idols. Not sure if this was a smart move….Hubris in Survivor usually doesn’t pay off…

This leads to people whispering to one another, but we don’t really get to see what is being said.

8:53

We go to the votes, but first, when Jeff asks if anybody wants to play an idol, Scot and Jason do some more shtick for everybody as they do paper-rock-scissors to decide whom to give the idol to and then they give it to Tai, who stands up and then sits down, confusing everybody. Haven’t these guys read The Art of War??? Aren’t you supposed to keep your advantages to yourself, not vomit them all over the place???

We go the votes:
Scot

Cydney

Scot

Cydney

Cydney

Debbie

Debbie

Debbie

8th person voted out and third member of our jury: Debbie….Wow!

Recap:

OK, so what the hell just happened? How did Debbie become the target?? I guess it was a good play, as obviously the girls would rather sacrifice Debbie over Cydney. Debbie was entertaining this season. She was undone by what made her succeed early on, which was her need to take charge or try to take charge of the votes. Where this leads us now, is the Brawn men back to thinking that they are in control of the game. Usually, the Survivor gods don’t allow people who play and conduct themselves that cockily to succeed, but if they can keep Tai from defecting they seem to be in a good place heading into next episode.

Is the girls’ alliance dead now? Which side is Julia really on? Oh, and I have to give props to Julia, as all season I have thought she was a “nothing” player, but she at least has been a factor. I have no idea which side she is really with and I guess maybe she doesn’t have to officially choose right now. Or is she just going to be the target next week? Who in the hell do you people think is going to win this season?? Last week, it felt like Michele was the popular choice, but I’m not sure. Maybe Tai? Somebody help!

Thanks for reading. See you next week.

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