Each week, Scott Gallagher breaks down the show minute by minute in Survivor Pop Culture Recap. It’s live blogging complete with commercial breaks.
Survivor Pop Culture Recap: Parallel Universe
We’re back for week three of this season of Survivor. Things are starting to mold into what this season is going to be, but it’s still so early that it’s hard to see where we are headed through this early season fog. Full disclosure, my mind is split tonight due to my beloved San Francisco Giants playing in a one-game playoff against the New York Mets. If they win, they continue into the playoffs. If they lose, the season is over and I will need to be put on a 72-hour safety watch. So just know tonight that my head is elsewhere, but I’m hoping that watching Survivor and writing this will help distract me and get me through this moment of crisis.
Call me crazy, but the Giants have been in my life since the day I was born and they don’t cheat on me. They’re loyal and they can tolerate me drooling when I sleep. With all that said, this is Survivor night and last week we lost my pick to win it all this season in Mari…Now, I can’t even begin to tell you who I think is separating themselves this season. I’m hoping tonight we get more of a picture of who is calling the shots and who is basically just counting down the days until they are no longer needed and sent home. Last week the Millennials really shocked me by letting Figgy and Taylor stay in the game, even though they have flown right into the face of Survivor protocol in openly being in a showmance. I mean, on pure principle, you can’t let a couple flaunt their partnership on Survivor without one of them being cut immediately. It makes no sense with everybody that isn’t aligned with them to vote on their side.
Adam and Zeke definitely had a “Have any of these boobs every watched a second of Survivor?” look on their faces. It was stunning that players can be this idiotic forty years into the history of this show, give or take. I can’t recall a more ridiculous vote. Our first fork in the road this season has taken place and now the players with the least amount of common sense have the power…..or do they? The previews for this episode make it seem like we are going to get a shakeup of some kind with the teams.
So maybe like I mentioned last week, the producers see the writing on the wall with this gimmick and it’s time to just get into Survivor without needing to be hit over the head forty times an episode about the differences between the “old generation” vs the “new generation”. Maybe they realize the time is now to just get into the game and hope the Survivor gods can take over and clean up the mess created by casting, ’cause make no mistake about it, from an ability to play the social game of Survivor, this cast seems like they were frozen in 1999 and just got thawed out two weeks ago. Like apparently, they have never seen Survivor or picked up on the social customs that are supposed to be applied and respected in the game.
It will be interesting to see if that vote comes back to haunt anyone. I would like to think the Survivor gods will punish everybody associated with that vote. Life on the Generation X team isn’t that much better, as that tribe just seems like one walking cliché of survivors past. Nobody on Gen X stands out to me as being a really viable players that would cut it in an all-star Survivor season or something like that. It’s still early in the season and I’m impulsive so that opinion could change at literally anytime, but right now I’m not impressed with any of them. I really do hope that changes tonight, though. With this mess of an opening to tonight’s episode, let’s get into the show as it’s 8 pm Portland, Oregon time!
Previously on Survivor: We start the recap with the autopsy of last week’s disaster on the Millennial team, but not before Jeff tells us that Paul is the de facto leader of the Gen Xers….Okay, Jeff, not sure if I’m buying what you are selling there. Jeff quickly recaps the infamous vote last week and we rushed into real time on this week’s show…I’m in full agreement on that move.
Back at camp, Adam and Zeke pretend to be impressed with what just happened at Tribal. Adam looks a full grown adult man trying to fit in at a Hello Kitty party.
Zeke is lying in the sand with a vacant look on his face. Hannah tries to approach him to talk, to explain her thought process on flipping the vote.
Hannah then explains her rationale on why she voted how she did, explaining how it was ‘the best move for my game”, without explaining why that was the best move for her game. I love when players say this randomly and think it’s just a conversation ender like: “Okay, well since you put it like that, then your horrendously awful move now makes perfect sense”.
Zeke tells Hannah that he would like to be alone. He looks how I’m going to look tonight if the Giants lost this game. (I’ll be checking the score at 8:30).
Zeke continues to ask for space from Hannah, but she keeps trying to force the conversation. Hannah’s not taking this feedback well, as she literally said something five times after Zeke asked her to please leave him alone.
Adam and Zeke, now alone, talk about how they basically feel on the bottom of this Millennial team. I really do feel for them; they want to play chess when everybody else is playing Candyland.
Anybody have any good shows they could recommend right now? Like any dramas? It feels pretty bare right now. I tried getting through the first season of Mr. Robot, but I’m not going to lie it’s tough to see Christian Slater and not think of what might have been with him. The whole time I would watch Mr. Robot I kept secretly hoping he would wear his black hair from True Romance and orchestrate a one time, huge coke deal with some big wig from Hollywood.
Seriously, though, I need a new show to watch. When does Fargo: Season 3 come back? I think I have watched every documentary ever made on Netflix…Even the really obscure ones that have a fan rating of two stars at best. I desperately need a new show!
Back from break with the Gen Xers. CeCe and David talk about being on the bottom of this tribe with Ken. David with an idol is feeling himself a little bit and not giving the “I’m secretly smuggling two kilos of coke through a Turkish airport” presentation that we got with him the first two episodes.
Paul shares that he is feeling better after his scare last week and appears ready to roll. Paul really does feel like he is the alpha on this tribe, as he shares about his fishing prowess.
Paul came back with nothing. He makes a few excuses, which rattles Ken’s cage as he doesn’t understand how the rest of the tribe can’t see through Paul’s BS…and I kind of agree. I don’t know why but Ken has grown on me…I’m pulling for him. He reminds of Captain EO….Yes, that Captain EO. I can see Ken doing missions for the betterment of the planet and fulfilling his missions through songs and maybe a dance.
Tell me I’m wrong, but if one person could be the real life Captain EO it’s Ken…..I stand by that statement.
Ken breaks down the dynamics of the tribe and is “baffled” that he is on the bottom of this tribe. As are we, Ken. As are we.
Tree mail comes to the Millennial team. Four people are going to be chosen to go hang out with the Gen Xers. Will shares with us (with his disturbingly deep voice) that he hopes he is chosen to go.
Jay, Taylor, Figgy, and Will are the ones that draw the orange rocks and are on the way to mingle with the Gen Xers at the old folks home.
Chris, CeCe, Paul, and David apparently drew rocks off-camera as they greet the Millennial four at the beach.
What the hell is happening here? Has this happened before in Survivor? Anyways, they get to eat and drink a little. I’m not sure what the point of this is. Maybe I should shut up because maybe something will come from this.
Paul starts sharing about his rockstar life. Everybody is humoring him so far, but even David thinks Paul is kind of toolish at this point.
Figgy and Taylor try to get intel out of CeCe and David. They are happy to throw Paul under the bus.
David and Taylor talk briefly and David is convinced he has made a blood brother out of Taylor. He tells Taylor that he “trusts him” and that he will happily stick a knife in the back of any Gen Xer….Taylor just awkwardly laughs, and clearly, doesn’t know what to say or do…highlight of the episode so far.
Oh, look CBS is still trying to shove MacGyver down our throats. I did just remember that HBO has a new show Westworld that looks good.
Then I remembered that I actually have seen the original movie in some random, stoned college night in Eugene Oregon.
Is there anything more dated than a 1970’s science fiction movie? I mean, seriously, watch that trailer I just posted. You can watch the Godfather: Part Two which I think came out in 1974 and it doesn’t feel that old at all and then you watch a science fiction movie from that same year, and today, it feels so dated and unintentionally funny. Deep thoughts from Scott Gallagher…You’re welcome.
Back from break with the Gen Xers as the four who met the Millennials get grilled with questions about this foreign tribe. They share with Ken that everybody calls him “Ken Doll”…Ken takes this nickname wayyyyyyyyy too hard. He explains in way too much detail how insulting it is to be called “Ken Doll”. Yaeah,okay, Ken, boo-hoo all the women think you’re dreamy….Poor guy.
Ken, then determined to prove his worth, goes fishing. Ken again openly campaigns against Paul to anybody who will listen. He talks to Jessica about how Paul hasn’t caught a single fish. Jessica isn’t buying what Ken is selling tonight.
Jessica has that random advantage if she makes it to day 36….I would sell that in a heartbeat to guarantee I made it to day fifteen…Getting to day 36 seems way too daunting of a task.
The Evil Empire of the Millennials talks about who needs to go next and right now they are leaning towards Mr. Zeke.
Adam, like me, shares that he is flabbergasted with the last vote and now has no idea what to do next. Adam makes his pitch Michaela and Hannah. He breaks it down very slowly and simply to them, praying to god they grasp how simple of a choice this is: They need to get rid of Figgy!
Yes, the Giants won!(Sorry Rob). It’s amazing sad how happy this just made me. It’s like having a shot of adrenaline. I don’t know how many, if any of you, are into baseball. Maybe you think it’s slow and boring, but let me tell you there is nothing more Shakespearean drama-like than playoff baseball. The anxiety it produces is almost crippling. I tell any girl that I go out with, that the Giants and 49ers are like my children and I’m fully committed to them at all times 24/7…..In an unrelated note, I’m currently single.
Okay, back from break and we are headed to the Immunity Challenge. Wow, there are people on Gen X that I didn’t even realize were in this game. I feel like I’m seeing them for the first time. I can’t even remember their names to list them here.
The comp tonight is a little obstacle course that looks like a course for the Millennials but I’m 0-2 so far this season so don’t listen to me.
Lucy! Lucy was the person I just mentioned whose name I didn’t know. I only know it now because she was taking forever in this competition and getting hostile when her teammates were telling her to hurry.
Once again, Ken gets the Gen Xers back into this competition and they do have life as we get to the final part of the competition which is a puzzle.
All for naught as the Millennials win this one. Generation X is headed to Tribal.
Before we get there the Millennials want to trade for some fishing gear if Gen X agrees to it…….which they do not. So the Millennials don’t always get what they want. If I were a Gen Xer, I would have agreed to let them have the fishing gear if they could get somebody from that tribe to explain to me why the hell they decided to keep a showmance over Mari. I’m sorry… I will never get over that vote.
Wow. When did Rob Lowe get blonde hair and decide to join a doctor show called Code Black???? He looks like he dyed his hair with soy sauce. I totally forgot Rob Lowe was even around anymore. Without ever watching Code Black, I’m going to guess that Rob Lowe is doing a poor man’s George Clooney in ER impression and hoping he can catch fire like Clooney did in the mid 90’s. Can that sort of thing even happen anymore?
Are there even such things as “movie stars” anymore? I mean, in a Tom Cruise, Bruce Willis, Will Smith sort of way? I think the internet ruined that concept forever, because before, there was always a little distance between us and them. We would only really see them in their movies or when they were doing late night shows to promote their movies. Now in this Twitter universe, you find out that Brad Pitt gets drunk on airplanes and gets into verbal altercations with his kids. It feels like the time of true golden movie stars is over. We know too much about them, their personal lives, how absurd they act…It’s just not the same….I guess that is just my Generation X brain speaking, though….Yuck.
Okay, we’re back. Let’s see who the target is here. So far it seems like CeCe is the one going, according to Paul and Chris.
Sunday breaks it down for us that CeCe is the logical choice to go, but it’s Survivor and it’s never that easy.
CeCe knows that she could be in trouble. David and Ken are trying to figure out a way to take out the Apostle Paul.
Hold everything. Now the girls are talking about getting rid of Paul, without ever talking to David or Ken…Wow. This would be quite the flip. Apparently, they are wary of Paul, Chris, and Bret becoming too powerful. I wish the Millennials could watch this and learn.
We head to Tribal. Jeff tells David that he seems way more calm…basically telegraphing that he has an idol, but nobody picks up on it.
CeCe puts it out there that she feels like she is on the bottom of this tribe with Ken and David.
Chris then tries to put out the paranoia fire, telling everybody its way too soon to think about who’s on the bottom of what alliance.
Next, we spend two minutes, for some reason, talking about the differences between the two generations. This is highlighted by Jeff asking everybody if they “text” and if so when they spell “You” do they spell it “You” or “U”. Why this happened, I don’t know. This feels like a sitcom forcing some sort of life lesson on to us.
It’s time to vote and it’s coming down to CeCe or Paul. I would love to see Paul go here, but maybe the producers were just trying to build drama and Paul was never really in danger….
We go to the votes:
Third person voted out: Paul!!!!
Wow. We end with a good ole fashioned blindside.
This episode feels parallel to last week’s episode, except this time the middle members of the tribe decided to make a stand against the powers that be. Last week, the dummies couldn’t see the forest through the trees and made an awful move. This week the Gen Xers finally looked like a competent group.
The question now becomes: Who is the top dog with the Gex Xers? Is it Jessica?? Is it Chris still? Is it up for grabs now? The next episode will be the key, obviously, in showing us who is in control here…OR are we going back to the week to week bloc of voters that changes every week? It can all change week to week and that’s what it looks like this season could be headed to. The Millennials are dumb, and once the merge happens, I hope one by one they get picked off, with the exception of Adam and maybe kind of Zeke, but Zeke to me seems to struggle with being a little too dramatic with his emotions. I think right now the top players this season are: Adam and Jessica…I don’t feel comfortable putting anyone else in that category yet. Maybe I’m off a little, but to
I think, right now, the top players this season are: Adam and Jessica…I don’t feel comfortable putting anyone else in that category yet. Maybe I’m off a little, but to me, nobody else has really separated himself/herself. I know David has an idol, and with that a little swagger, but he is still so transparent with all his moves and “deals” that nobody is really going to take him too seriously as the game progresses.
It’s all wide open still. Let me know who you think I’m missing out on here. Thanks for reading and see you next week!
For the complete schedule of Survivor blogs: RHAP Survivor Blog Schedule. This week we will have a special feature from Sarah Freeman.