Survivor Kaoh Rong

Survivor: Jinx

Here we are, back for the start of the journey towards the end of this Survivor season. We are in the jury round now, with Neal and his idol being eliminated by the infection(s) that has struck the majority of the players this season. Neal left with an idol in his pocket as Aubry was left steaming. Neal, at least, on his way out to the med evacuation boat should have pulled the idol out of his pocket, stuck his middle finger out towards everybody, stared at them without blinking for thirty seconds and then chucked it into the ocean. I can’t think of a better way for Neal to have gone out, but alas.

Last week was really about Nick’s “rise” to power. Because of Neal’s infection, we were robbed of Tribal Council and so we didn’t get to see how things would have played out if Neal would have stayed in the game. I think we can assume that Aubry would have been voted out, as that seems to have been the plan and that would lead us to a similar spot where we are headed to tonight with the Brains on the run for the first time this season, with Nick seemingly having a lot of sway in the game.  Where does this leave us heading into tonight?

Nick: I guess we have to say that Nick is the top dog in the game right now…Somehow a player that other players in the game think is “icky” has risen from being the random creepy guy of the season to being the best player at reading the social dynamics of the game. Maybe last episode was just a set up for the fall tonight. Has there ever been a player that went from “icky” to becoming the winner of the season??

Jason: Feels like he is getting a little bit cocky. What happens if he gets voted out and then tries to bully Tai into combining their two idols…What is the protocol on that if they do want to combine idols?  Are they allowed to cross their idols or is that frowned upon?

I think Jason will be gotten when he least expects it.

Scot: Scot seems to be the guy that is confident that how he sees things is the way it is, even when it’s not. I think this type of thinking isn’t going to end well for Scot. Scot and Jason are walking around like they’re really the big swinging dicks at camp, but it feels like karma will come back against them.

Debbie: Red Lobsters from across the country are starting to sweat that their biggest alumni ever could be in trouble. It seemed like last week, Debbie’s spell started to wear off and everybody was just annoyed with her. She could rally, and maybe last week was just a decoy episode, but it sure looks like Debbie’s reign as top dog is over and now she is towards the bottom of the totem pole. She’s towards the bottom of the food chain now.

Joe: Joe has a perpetual presentation of someone that is going to snap at any moment. Like would anybody be really surprised if Joe has a gun stashed somewhere and at any point could pull it out and start reciting lines from Dirty Harry?

I think Joe is going to just be a number for whatever block of people take over this game, and when he is no longer needed, he will be gone.

Aubry: Aubry has been wielding the sword of destiny all season long, seemingly being in the middle of the forks in the road this season and has been making the choices. She decided to vote out Peter, maybe against her better judgement, and she most likely would have been voted out last week if Neal would not have been pulled from the game. Then who knows what would have happened had Neal slipped her the idol. The game could have gone in two or three different directions this season solely based on Aubry…It seems like out of all the choose-your-own-adventures, all things considered Aubry is not in the worst place imaginable. I think maybe that the target will be off her now? That’s what my gut is telling me, so she will probably be targeted from 8:01 pm to the end of the show at 8:55 pm.

Cydney: For me, still the hardest person to read this season is Cydney. She has been portrayed as pretty quiet and just someone that goes with the flow for the most part. She has looked pretty good in challenges and seems like she isn’t at the bottom of the food chain or a major target heading into tonight, so I guess she is doing well. Who is her strongest ally, though? Jason? He is tighter with Scot, so Cydney needs to start thinking long-term.

Michele: Actually the same thing as Cydney, it’s tough to read Michele and where she stands in the game. She seems more likely to mouth off or maybe force a move that isn’t right timing-wise. She seems to have a very uneasy alliance with Nick and seemed liked she was stuck in the middle getting to decide between the Brains or the Brawns. With Neal gone, I guess the safe play for her is to stick with the Brawns this week and then reevaluate afterward.

Tai: Tai has been bobbing and weaving all season long. He seems to be entrenched now with the Brawns– at least heading into tonight. The biggest question for Tai is whether he will combine idols with Jason. Tai is well-liked, but he doesn’t have a blood oath with anybody in the game, so short-term he is okay, but long-term what is his move to get to the end? Who is his best bet to get him there? I like Tai, root for Tai, but I struggle to see him getting to the end without an incredible series of luck to get him there, though.

Julia: Respectfully, she seems like a nameless, faceless extra on the show, someone who sits on the back far left at Tribal Council and who has all of her “speaking” parts edited out by the producers. I don’t see Julia having any chance in hell of winning this season. She should just find a hiding place, not go to challenges or Tribal, and see if anybody notices, then just show up when it gets down to final three.

So here we are, once again. We really have no clue who the favorite is to win this season, unless you are very optimistic about Nick. Tonight, though, will hopefully be the episode that gives us a road map to where the rest of the season is headed. Let’s see. It’s time. It’s 8 pm Portland, Oregon time:

8 pm

Previously on Survivor: We get the quick recap of the merge last week, and specifically, Debbie’s slow implosion. Basically, the last twenty minutes of last week’s episode was seven players getting examined for death infections.  One of the more anti-climatic episodes you will get on a season of Survivor.

8:01

We start tonight picking up from last week, with Neal just leaving. Scot tries to lighten the mood, doing a horrendous Forrest Gump impression. I don’t think he even got a courtesy laugh from anybody…which always makes you less likely to pull the trigger on a future joke so maybe it’s a win-win for everybody there.

8:02

Jason recaps that the Brawns are in full control and will be splitting votes from here on out. People seem to be on board, but the chances of this actually playing out this smoothly are what, maybe 1/15 odds?

8:03

Aubry dissects the dynamics at camp and, basically, spells out that camp is run by the “in-crowd” in high school, with the jocks and pretty girls at the top of the food chain. If only she had the idol…I wonder if they will drop another idol into the game?

Commercial break:

I won movie tickets to see the new Kevin Costner movie tonight.

I didn’t exactly jump on the opportunity, which is sad because Kevin Costner was like a top tier movie star right up to where he started demanding to make absurdly long, ridiculously bloated movies like Waterworld and The Postman. Seriously, watch the single worst attempt at a British accent in the history of motion pictures ( And how strange is it to see a young Christian Slater in the other role. Christian Slater is like a another relic from 1987-1994. Only people who were alive in those years could ever know who the hell Christian Slater is)…

Even with that horrid, shitty accent Costner was like top five top dogs in Hollywood from like 1988-1994. Then from like 2000 until now– just a slew of crap. I mean did anyone see Mr. Brooks, where he played a serial killer and was supposed to be taken seriously, but you watch all the “ticks” Costner tried to bring to the performance and it just leaves you amazed that a director would let that happen.

8:06

Back from the break and we join everybody back at camp. Jason shares some personal family stuff about his daughter.

Cydney is looking at this that now Jason is a bigger threat due to the potential sympathy card with him. Maybe she was the only one to share that type of point of view to the camera?

8:09

Reward challenge time. This week they are playing for ice cream. At this stage of the game, if I was in their place I would probably mug an elderly couple for a bowl of ice cream  (rocky road with marshmallow sauce, please).

I actually like this comp. One person has to walk across the water on two pole things with flat surfaces that the rest of the team have to hold up.

8:14

This comp is a humongous blowout as one team wins while the other team can’t get past the first stage of the comp. I wonder where they get the ice cream from? Homemade? One flavor for all or what?

Commercial Break:

I finally saw Creed. My girlfriend and I rented it on Sunday, and my lord, was it better than I thought it was. I can’t believe how good Sly was in the movie, and now I’m really pissed that he didn’t win the Oscar for best supporting actor. They gave it to that guy from Bridge of Spies, which come on, that was a complete travesty. I would have walked out of the Oscars in protest if I was there. I mean, how much more can Rocky Balboa do for this country? He ended the Cold War for god’s sake:

He’s had to deal with his wife Adrian dying, his trainer Micky dying and he’s had to deal with his son being abducted four or five times, each time being replaced by a fake son that looked nothing like the previous one. For a parent to lose the same kid five times but carry on like nothing happened really shows an inner strength that I’m sure you or I wouldn’t have. Sly’s a national treasure and it’s not like he’s ever going to have a chance to win another Oscar ever again. He’s 97 years old, give or take.

8:18

Back from commercial and it looks like they have some options at the “ice cream parlor”. The team of Scot, Julia, Tai, Debbie and Nick are feasting. I wonder what the limit was or if it was “all you can eat”? Not eating really any food for a while and then gorging on ice cream must do wonders for the stomach I’m guessing.

8:19

Michele tells us that Jason is feeling himself a little too much. Maybe some foreshadowing???

8:20

The ice cream social turns a little serious as Scot now shares his family struggles and how he takes care of them. Scot doesn’t get the cynical response from anybody, though, at least not that CBS is sharing with us at.

8:21

Back at camp Scot, Jason and Nick talk as Joe sleeps literally four feet away, but I guess they’re not worried about him hearing. Scot and Jason share with Nick that they are concerned about the potential of an “all-girls” alliance.

Nick doesn’t share the same concern and you basically read his mind saying: “Dudes, have you seen the women that are left in this game???”

8:22

Nick and Julia go off to talk. Nick shares with Julia the concern of the Brawn men about an all-girls alliance, but Julia confirms the obvious– that there isn’t one.

Cydney shares that she is tired of Nick’s shadiness and feels like she is on to him. For some reason, seeing Nick talk to Julia alone is making her hostile.

8:23

Cydney calls out Nick in front of Scot and Jason. All of them are completely confused as am I with why she is so salty right now?

8:24

The Cydney slow implosion continues as Jason tries to talk to her one-on-one about why the wheels are coming off the Cydney bus. She is getting paranoid– which obviously in Survivor, it’s probably good to be paranoid– but it’s pouring out of her and they need to plug that leak as she is threatening to call out idols and put everybody on blast.

Commercial Break:

Can we just decide right now to end “hashtags” once and for all? I mean, please, we get it..You like bacon…Or you like wine….Or you like your toddler..Or you like TBT throwback Thursdays, or you like drowning cats…Whatever it is…We get it…We all get it. People who take it way too seriously are the worst, usually political agendas or mothers….basically, women…yes, women have ruined it. Nobody cares that you’re proud of breastfeeding. We don’t need a hashtag for it. I don’t think I’m being too harsh here. I mean, if you’re over 30 years old, think about 1999-you. What would 1999-you think of hashtags? You would think it was pretty douchey, right? You would probably promise to never be someone that hashtagged, right? So when you fast-forward to 2016 and see that you are hashtagging your #mancrushmonday, please, slap yourself in the face.

8:29

Back from commercial, and it’s time for the immunity challenge. It’s a pretty basic one tonight.Everyone has to stand on a beam holding on to the handles on the beam.

8:30

Jeff cockily starts taunting everybody and tells them that for a one-time offer they can jump off for some food. Sadly, Julia jumps off literally five seconds before she would have been eligible for the food.

Scot, Jason, Joe and Michele all jump off for the buffet of food brought out.

8:34

Nick and Tai share out loud that all they care about is a Brain not winning. Cydney is having a hard time hiding the contempt on her face at them and everything.

8:36

It comes down to Tai and Cydney as Cydney looks like a rock and it looks like she doesn’t want to lose this one, but Tai is wanting to prove himself, and with the music in the background, it appears that this might be Tai’s night.

8:37

And just like that, Cydney drops and Tai is your winner. Tai wins immunity and we will see which way or what Cydney does tonight because she does not seem like a happy camper.

Commercial break:

All these commercials for all these stale CBS procedural cop dramas….Honestly, who still watches these shows? It has to be people 60 and over that keep these things running because with the advent of cable TV and Netflix, Hulu, and everything else out there, there is way more quality than these network cop show procedurals. I guess maybe people over 60 can’t get over that and anything past channel 14 is like the frontier to them. That can really be the only explanation, right? I mean, if you could choose between Breaking Bad, The Wire, The Sopranos,  and House of Cards why would you watch a CBS CSI tired show? Not to be a hater or anything, but you can make an argument that the main networks really do need to come up with more creativity in their shows both with comedies and dramas, right?

8:42

Back from commercial, we join everybody back at camp giving props to Tai and Cydney for their effort in the comp. Nick shares that the plan is to split the votes tonight between Aubry and Debbie.

8:43

Nick takes Aubry aside and tells her what’s happening and tells her to vote out Debbie. Nick tells us that he is openly taking advantage of Aubry and knows that she can’t do anything about it.

8:44

But hold everything, as now Cydney is trying to rally the girls to strike against Nick. Obviously, Aubry and Debbie are on board.

8:45

Next, Cydney makes her pitch to Julia and Michele. Michele, I thought would have jumped all on it, but she shares that she is more conflicted and not sure if taking out Nick is right at this moment…

8:46

Julia seems to be pressing Michele to make a big move, but it’s tough to tell which way they are leaning exactly. High drama tonight. Who the hell knows what the hell is happening at this vote tonight!

8:47

We go to Tribal. Jeff introduces Neal as the first jury member, which leads to Neal giving everybody a socially awkward wave, parlayed with a creepy smile…I already miss having Neal in this game.

8:48

Aubry tries to oversell that she really doesn’t have a move to make, playing her cards close to the vest.

8:50

Tai spills the beans on the super-idol, which leads to Aubry and Debbie jumping in to try and instill doubt into Julia and Michele’s mind that they are on the bottom of the food chain..

What the hell is going to happen with Joe by the way? Is he voting with the girls or is he flying solo or what is his play?

8:52

We go to the votes! No clue who’s going.

Aubry

Debbie

Nick

Aubry

Jason

Nick

Nick

Nick

Wow! The 7th person voted out and second member of the jury is Nick.

Recap:

So I must be honest. Whenever I hear a plan for an all-girls alliance I have a natural hatred of it for reasons that are most likely at least 90 percent sexist. With that said, I guess it was a good move for Cydney to orchestrate this mob-like hit on Nick’s Survivor life. I guess it all depends now how she plays to her old alliance mates. Is there a line in the sand now drawn between the men and women and if so what in the hell is Joe doing? In fact, all the rest of the men in the game are stupid, so in a normal season, Cydney would probably be in trouble the following vote, but with this season it’s like a junior varsity game of Survivor.

I’m glad that once again at the start of the night, the person who I said was in the best position in the game was then immediately booted from the game that same night. I really do suck at this. Truth be told, I know I was reaching with Nick as a “favorite”, like I know that was a stretch, but now I really have no clue where to go from here. Michele? Maybe I mixed her up with Cydney in my analysis and Michele will be the poised one, while Cydney’s paranoia and lack of a poker face will be her undoing? Honestly, I suck. You know it. I know it….Somebody help me see what I am not seeing.Who is going to win this season????? Please share below and thanks for reading!

Who is going to win this season????? Please share below and thanks for reading!

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