Survivor: Heroes v Healers v Hustlers

Survivor Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers: Ken Griffey Jr. the Fishmonger

Logan Saunders recaps Episode 3 of Survivor: Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers.

Survivor Heroes v Healers v Hustlers: Ken Griffey Jr. The Fishmonger

levuHeroes: Alan, Ashley, Ben, Chrissy, JP

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Healers: Cole, Desi, Jessica, Joe, Mike, Roark

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Hustlers: Ali, Devon, Lauren, Patrick, Ryan, Simone

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Previously on Survivor: At the Hero tribe, Alan was aiming to take out a POWER COUPLE. At the Healer tribe, Joe and Cole went on the hunt for an idol. At the Hustler tribe, Simone and Patrick were the clear targets. At Tribal Council, Patrick made a questionable remark. But in the end, Simone was sent home (hey, that rhymes).

Sixteen are left; who will be voted out tonight?

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HUSTLERS – DAY 7

Ryan decides to channel Luke Toki from Aussie Survivor and starts wearing the clothes of the person he just voted out. Simone’s jacket makes Ryan look like Willy Wonka. Hopefully the Gene Wilder version.

He puts the clothes on Patrick like he is getting ready for high school prom. Then he proceeds to try on the knee-high boots.

RYAN: The practicality of the knee-high boots goes on and on. You can avoid cracks when idol searching if it’s up high. Simone is finally showing her worth well after she’s gone.

Man, they didn’t like Simone at all.

Ryan and Patrick, the two most Irish names together, discuss whom they should vote out or let stay between Ali and Lauren. Lauren is likely to be gone since Ali is very relatable. The fishmonger who is twice as old as everyone else from a small town is not.

LAUREN: They are all like high school buddies and I am the dumb teacher.

She is the only one with a kid. It is amazing how much production set up Lauren to be out of sync with the other five people on her tribe.

Devon joins Lauren and Ali in the shallow water. Lauren repeatedly brings up Patrick’s “I trust most people on my tribe” comment.

Ali, the one who knew Patrick in real life for years before this season filmed, worries more and more about how she can protect her secret Blood vs. Water pairing. It should be a huge advantage for Ali and Patrick in the three-tribe format, but Patrick’s social skills are as burned as his ginger skin in the game.

There is no reason why Ali and Patrick should be in trouble this early. They were given a gift from the Survivor gods for being two of six people on a tribe at the start of the game, and already have somebody they can trust 150-200 percent without having to worry and can go out and make bonds with everyone else.

But Patrick is finding a way to put their game at risk against somebody like Lauren on their tribe. They only have themselves to blame.

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HEROES – DAY 7

Alan and JP are carrying supplies up a beach as Alan mutters the words “power couple” repeatedly under his breath as JP shoots him a sideways glance. Ashley is cleaning a pot as she thinks about whether or not Alan thinks she and JP are a power couple.

Ben and Chrissy are near the shelter.

CHRISSY: We are in a f–king prime position.

Well, that F bomb was unnecessary.

BEN: At this point, you could say Chrissy and I are driving this train.

I thought trains are on a fixed schedule? I learned that from the season premiere of the fourth season of 24. Trains don’t deviate, guys.

Ben talks about who he wants to be his next target. He says Ashley is a hard worker to have around camp. Meanwhile, he thinks JP is clueless and Alan is a hothead and also a loose cannon.

Alan takes over thirty minutes to crack open a coconut. Don’t worry, man, Sundra still can’t make fire. Alan doesn’t know the proper coconut chopping technique.

JP strolls up the beach with new aquatic life on a spear.

ASHLEY: JP gets dreamier and dreamier as the days go on. Every time he walks out of the ocean with a different animal on a spear something happens inside of me.

Something tells me editors had to cut out the next sentence from her confessional.

ASHLEY: He is less and less Alan-like the days go by.

Yeah, I imagine it is more ideal to be around a guy who doesn’t ask you to get naked on the first night. I’m just saying.

Ashley greets JP on the beach with her hands on her hips and her body puffed out. Oh, my. She really likes JP.

ASHLEY: Look at the size, JP!

Alright, I’ll stop.

ASHLEY: JP and I can’t talk to each other much because on day two . . . Alan called us out as a POWER COUPLE.

That’s #3 for this episode.

Ashley wants Alan out because he constantly puts her bond with JP in peril.

They decide to fry the fish. For some reason, Ashley shoots the camera a facial expression of her cringing. Alan is staring at the fish for an excessive amount of time.

Ashley and Ben are in the jungle. Ashley says Alan makes his moves out loud.

BEN: But JP is a puppy waiting to be led somewhere.

ASHLEY: He could be our puppy; we could train him.

BEN: But anybody with a piece of meat dangling, he’ll go with them.

Ben explains why he doesn’t fully trust Ashley.

BEN: Ashley and JP were tossed into a POWER COUPLE . . .

#4. . .

BEN: . . . As a POWER COUPLE on Survivor, it don’t work out good.

#5.

Combine the brief seconds talking about the Heroes tribe in the ‘Previously On’ segment, and this lone four-minute clip, the fact that the Heroes tribe used the words “power couple” five times is truly impressive. Combine this with the nine from last week and the nine or ten from the premiere, and we have an absurd tally after three episodes.

Are the Heroes tribe the most boring tribe in Survivor history? This is a subject up for debate. La Mina is hesitant to be dethroned.

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HEALERS – DAY 7

Joe feels good because his tribe wins every challenge, camp life is great, and Mike is still at risk.

JOE: I am calm, cool, and collective.

What is with guys from the east coast not knowing it’s collected?

Joe is worried about Cole’s knowledge of him having the idol because of his close relationship with Jessica.

JOE: Lovebirds are worse. It’s dangerous. Worse than the flu.

What about ebola? We need a precise ranking, Joe! Is it the toughest thing to contain when you play the board game Pandemic?

Cole and Jessica go fishing together. It’s their only alone time.  We get an extended shot of Jessica fishing like it’s a Bethany Hamilton documentary.  Cole catches a fish.

JESSICA: In life outside of Survivor, I move like a SLUT when it comes to romance. I don’t even know if I know what romance means.

Let me rewind that. Oh, she said slug. Phew. That was close.

JESSICA: I am a virgin. My face feels red thinking about his thinking about me.

She is the Millie & Chuck of Survivor. I think they would have even done it if they made it to day 39 of Survivor.

Cole and Jessica are alone on the beach. He asks her if she is enjoying herself, and can guarantee she is safe. She doesn’t want to talk about game or strategy at first, but Cole wants to talk about it. So they do. After a minute or so of cringeworthy flirtation, Cole shares the idol news with her after we get an extreme closeup of his right nipple. She hugs him on the sand and kisses him on the cheek. She is really happy that Cole told him.

COLE: I am going to rinse off.

Geez, is Cole a virgin too? It’s just a kiss on the cheek, bro. You watch Aussie Survivor and you have a married mom barrel racer who slaps everyone’s butts. I couldn’t imagine their reaction to that show.

JESSICA: I gave him a kiss on the cheek. It just happened. My kisses are very private. My lips don’t go near other people’s cheeks very often. So this is big!

Let’s move on. #VirginPowerCouple

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HUSTLERS – DAY 8

Ryan’s eyes dart around as he sips water from his canteen. Patrick strolls by as Ryan watches him walk away into the jungle. Ryan silently looks at Ali. He quickly glances at what Patrick is doing. Patrick is blatantly looking for an idol.

In a confessional, Patrick cites being a hustler as the reason why he is looking for the idol.

PATRICK: We’re always moving along; pun intended.

What pun? That he hustles?

Ali talks about Patrick’s lacking social game for the fourth or fifth time in three episodes. We really need a new storyline on all three of these tribes. Ali pulls Patrick aside to tell him to cool it. Patrick is worried because he can’t cool it. Otherwise, he isn’t himself and therefore won’t be able to make relationships anyway.

So yeah, Patrick is screwed socially no matter what.

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HEALERS – DAY 8

Desi is willing to eat Joe’s raw patatas. Joe’s response is to throw the raw pieces into the jungle. He complains about the food. Roark offers for Joe to cook for everybody the next time.

Meanwhile, Cole hates Joe’s whiny behaviour and him being the one holding the idol. Cole pitches the idea of blindsiding Joe to Jessica. He doesn’t want to lose his power in the game.

Seconds later, Cole tells Roark in front of Jessica that Joe has the idol.

JESSICA: Cole word vomits that Joe has the idol. . . It’s too soon to share that information!

I agree. You aren’t even going to Tribal Council, dude.

Jessica wished Cole consulted him before exposing Joe holding the idol or the fact he wants to blindside him.

Desi joins them. Cole tells her the plan too. They are going to split the vote between Joe and Mike. Cole tells them he can ‘for sure’ get Mike to vote against Joe.

JESSICA: I am ticked off at Cole for running his mouth. He lost a lot of power with me.

Like the power to lure another kiss on the cheek with a secret. Maybe tomorrow after fishing he can tell her that Ms. Slippy’s car is green, or that Mike’s breath smells like cat food. Hey, maybe by day 12 Cole will get to see her ankles.

You never know.

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TRIBAL IMMUNITY CHALLENGE #3 – DAY 8

When is the last time we have had a reward challenge in the third round of play? It feels like forever.

Everyone nods when they hear Simone is voted out. They are not affected.

For today’s challenge, they will race through a series of obstacles then use sandbags to knock blocks off a ledge. Then use those blocks to stack on top of each other vertically. First two tribes to finish win immunity.

First place gets one rooster and three hens. Second place gets a dozen eggs courtesy of the first place chickens. No, really. Last place gets nada.

Mike sits out for Healers, much like how he has been sitting out of the confessional count for this episode.

Challenge begins. Under and over the wood. Then they have to jump up onto a ledge. They have to push up their least athletic people up as everyone gets assistance from both directions. Alan doesn’t need anyone’s help as he does a big leap up.

Roark gets absolutely handled by the Healers as she is the last one up. That is a long fall back down. Her top becomes undone on the way down. This is not her favourite challenge.

It is a three-way tie as Ben, Cole, and Patrick are hitting the blocks off. JP subs in for Ben. Joe subs in for Cole. Lauren wants to sub in for Patrick and even runs in, but Patrick blocks her like a series of objects currently sitting on a ledge.

Joe knocks off the last few blocks. JP hits the last block off the ledge supposedly seconds later.

Patrick’s tosses are missing by a greater and greater margin. His accuracy is atrocious at this point. By the time he gets it, Healers and Heroes are nearly finished. Jessica and Chrissy are hoisted for their respective tribes.

Healers have built the whole tower and run back to their tower.

PROBST: Something is not right!

Say whaaat? Joe notices a block that was overlooked. Jessica needs to be-hoisted. Unlike the torch challenge, Roark’s fear of heights is not confronted.

Heroes finish the tower and win immunity. Ryan is hoisted up but it means nothing. Healers finish. The tower is nearly done.

Once the challenge is over, all three towers have been knocked over. I bet that was fun to karate kick.

Immunity is handed out along with the reward. The top two tribes are dismissed.

Probst asks Patrick about heading back to Tribal Council.

PROBST: Is it going to be a madhouse?

PATRICK: . . .Yeah, ’cause we all like each other.

That fondness may be one-way.

Lauren reveals she has been playing baseball for twenty-five years and can hit a catcher in the face with her bare hands. Vicious. She wants Patrick’s one-man show to come to an end and is working on a strategy to get everyone on her side.

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HUSTLERS – DAY 8

Patrick apologizes for the loss and missing the targets.

PATRICK: I should have possibly let somebody sub in for me.

Possibly? He wasn’t going to let somebody sub in at all.

PATRICK: I don’t think Lauren subbing in for me would have changed much.

Patrick cries about losing in front of his tribe. Not full blown crying, but there’s a few ginger tears.

Lauren goes into the water alone. Everyone comforts Patrick that Lauren is going home, and tell him that Lauren assumes Patrick is going home.

ALI: I think she assumes.

PATRICK: That’s great.

RYAN: Why?

PATRICK: I was being sarcastic.

Patrick doesn’t want Lauren going around worrying she is being voted out, so he joins her in the water to ask how she’s doing. They talk about the challenge.

LAUREN: I kept saying we could switch out. I could tell you were tired. I played baseball for twenty-five years. It was like we weren’t even there.

Lauren prefers to lose as a team rather than as one person.

Lauren directly tells Patrick that she expects to be voted out. Patrick lies and says it isn’t.

LAUREN: If it’s not me, then who is it? You’ve got somebody else in mind? I can look at you and can tell you aren’t being honest. Redheads don’t do very well with being honest. You’re voting me out. That makes no sense whatsoever.

Patrick stumbles and stutters like Joe all throughout this conversation. It is much like Lauren’s Porky Pig impression of Patrick from the start of the episode.

Patrick’s grin is the biggest poker tell in the world for Lauren. As a fishmonger, Lauren knows you don’t wait in the same spot if you never find fish there. You have to try different things. So she goes into the jungle with Ali. Ali acknowledges once more that Patrick is not providing much of an advantage.

Now Lauren goes to Ryan.

LAUREN: You’re the oddball and I’m the old woman.

What a duo. Devon is going to be sooooo jealous.

Ryan and Devon think about their massive dilemma. Ryan wants to have all three boys on the tribe make it to the merge. Devon wants a merge with Lauren rather than Pat. Uh oh. A disagreement.

We see Pat repeatedly throw a log at a tree without it splitting. This fits in with Devon saying that Patrick can’t stop choking.

Devon knows it will be about weighing challenge strength (Patrick) vs. Loyalty (Lauren). Granted Lauren was a centre fielder for twenty-five years which means she has been a centre fielder since Patrick was born.

hhh-barTRIBAL COUNCIL #2

(KATRINA)-(SIMONE)

X

(ALI)-(DEVON)-(LAUREN)-(PATRICK)-(RYAN)

They talk about the loss. Lauren immediately points out Patrick’s selfishness at the challenge. Patrick jumps in to own up to it.

LAUREN: I was going to finish my sentence, but he finished it for me.

If only they finished each other’s sandwiches. Lauren says it turned into a one person challenge.

PATRICK: It’s an adrenaline rush.

LAUREN: I understand that, son.

If you’ve got sandbag problems I feel bad for you, son. You’ve got 99 problems and Lauren is a big one.

PATRICK: I’m one of those chickens that looks so good.

His hair looks like a rooster so it makes sense.

Lauren says she hasn’t looked for the idol yet. Patrick reacts. He tells Probst it is a sigh of relief.

LAUREN: I have two of them.

So deadpan too. I love it.

They talk about the conversation in the water. It is a very candid conversation, specifically Pat’s grin.

LAUREN: I’ve never believed a redhead in my life.

Neither do I.

LAUREN: I will say one of us today is going to be blindsided.

PATRICK: For sure. One of us is going to be blindsided.

Doesn’t that negate the whole concept of being blindsided.

PROBST: Ryan, it’s kind of like you’re in a relationship–

RYAN: I’ve never been in a relationship.

PROBST: OK. . .

RYAN: You know somebody?

Probst says it is like couples’ therapy and a therapist telling everyone to get it out.

Ryan says it is no longer a happy nor successful group, and somebody is influencing it in a negative way.

Probst asks Devon if it is a chemistry problem (Rachel Reilly grins at home). Lauren says she is also voting in favour of positive chemistry.

Social skills at a merge is already a topic.

Patrick says he is good at getting along with people. Ali of all people says Patrick can’t be that good if he can’t even get along with Lauren after eight days. Then how well is he gonna do socially at the merge?

Patrick grins and Probst asks why he is smiling. Patrick says it is because he wants to grow from Ali and Lauren’s criticisms.

Ryan wants to sell his tribe as a crappy tricycle, and that they will have a unique unity that may start with mopping the floors before becoming the CEOs. Ali jumps in with the hustler analogy.

Lauren votes for Patrick. She don’t like him.

Patrick votes for Lauren. She has to go, apparently.

Time to go tally the votes. Ryan massages his neck free of turtles.

Nobody plays an idol.

FIRST VOTE: PAT!! :(

SECOND VOTE: LAUREN

THIRD VOTE: PATRICK

The smile fades. Teeth clenched.

FOURTH VOTE: PATRICK

Now he is frowning. He sits for a few extra seconds stunned and sighs.

PATRICK: You guys are awful.

His torch is ultra smuffed.

(XXXXXXX)

Pat doesn’t break eye contact with Jeff before glaring at his tribe one last time. He slowly exits.

Devon sits in an EXTREMELY wide stance as Probst gives his final words. And that is that.

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Next Time on Survivor: Just when you think you are on top, the game flips upside-down.

Patrick exhales.

PATRICK: This is the worst thing I had ever felt. Never saw this coming. . . I had total trust in Ali, Devon, and Ryan. . . I hope you guys don’t have a very successful game because you are liars and it really hurts me you won’t keep your word. . . It really devastates me because it’s too early for me to leave.

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I agree with most of the comments last week–I am opposed to the frequency of the tribe switch. I like that tribes must either benefit or suffer from their actions at Tribal Council leading up to a merge.

If it were up to me, we would have a completely randomized pattern as to how many seasons have a switch. Very rarely you do it two seasons in a row, but other times you don’t do it for three or four seasons in a row. And the number of people you have when you switch always varies.

For example, Survivor NZ had a switch when eleven players remained in the main game this year. The American version has never done a switch with that number before.

Nowadays, you know a minimum of one switch is coming ever since One World. I know some people argue  Philippines dissolved Matsing, but it’s not really a dissolve when they could still function as a tribe for one more round of play.

Thankfully, it should be an unprecedented switch. Unlike all other three-tribe seasons where we go from three tribes to two tribes or vice versa, we should keep all three tribes since fifteen people currently remain in the game.

It will be really really really lame if we go down to two tribes.

I have really wanted to see three tribes get re-mixed into three tribes. Australian Survivor did that last year for a couple rounds with some interesting results. Granted only two of the three tribes had swapped players, but still.

Once this switch happens, I hope they keep it like this for four rounds. This ensures the new swap will hold the tribe accountable for their actions for a lengthy period of time. If we have a merge with the new standard of 13 players, I’ll be really annoyed.

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But yes, I did read production’s mind–the three tribes just weren’t working well on their own.

I assume the relationship between Ben and Chrissy must be relevant because it is the only new development on the tribe over the past two rounds. All other footage has been dedicated to “POWER COUPLE! POWER COUPLE! POWER COUPLE!”

If Ben or Chrissy are split up next round and one of them gets voted out, I’ll deem it as one of the most irrelevant relationships ever. It would make all Levu scenes from these two episodes a big waste of time because absolutely nothing else interesting has happened. We could have skipped them for two episodes and not been upset about it at all.

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So let’s talk power couples.

If we are re-mixing into three tribes, I am curious if the power couples want to remain together as an obvious pair in a tribe of five, or if they want to be split up then quietly rejoin at merge and run the game? If they swap together, can they pull in somebody who wants to be the third wheel? Adam Klein wanted no part of Figs n’ Tails a year ago. Perhaps these power couples will have better luck.

The Quintessential power couple: JP and Ashley

The Disguised power couple: Ben and Chrissy

The Virgin power couple: Cole and Jessica

The Bromantic power couple: Ryan and Devon

The I Can’t Believe You Effed It Up So Badly power couple: Ali and Patrick

The Invisible power couple: Roark and Desi

OK, just kidding about the last two.

But what happens if two power couples are mixed together on the same tribe? Do all four pairs secretly cross their fingers and hope to be split? Will Jessica get jealous if Cole starts hanging around Ali or Roark?

There are too many permutations of how this could all go down, and I frankly don’t have the time to speculate. All I do know is that these any of these pairs will work together if they can make it to the merge intact.

Joe will want to be swapped to another beach as two idols currently remain unclaimed. Hell, he might hope for an additional swap at twelve and go to a third beach and claim their idol too. I really want to see a possible albeit ridiculous scenario on Survivor where somebody collects all three idols pre-merge.

Or maybe Joe just gets the second idol, then the merge beach is the beach with the idol and he finds it there post-merge. It’ll just be like what Mike Holloway did with the Escameca idol post-merge.

Of course, anybody who finds three idols also needs to be blindsided with it. Or hoard them until it gets down to seven and he keeps burning through them. Hell, give him a Legacy Advantage and have him win individual immunity when nine people remain to make him permanently safe even before day 27 hits.

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Our three biggest losses because production decided to do a switch next round:

  1. a) We will never know how the Hustlers would have done in a challenge without Patrick.
  2. b) We will never know if the Healers could have successfully blindsided Joe with the idol. Not seeing them go to Tribal Council together will be one of the greater pre-merge ‘what ifs’.
  3. c) We will never know how many more times the Heroes could have uttered the term “power couple”.

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It is a bit surprising to see production hold a Tribal Council on day eight in an eighteen-person format. Mainly because this is an era where production delays eliminations as much as they possibly can until the end of the game.

If you go by recent seasons, they would have preserved the three-day cycle until they have a two-day cycle on day 35, then have their typical finale of having six people in play starting on day 36.

Perhaps they finally learned that pushing back eliminations as much as possible when you have just one-hour episodes or a two-hour finale with six people makes for a very rushed and condensed endgame for the editors to tell its story. Too much gets left on the cutting room floor.

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I am surprised how underedited Roark has been given her quirky hype pre-season. I want to see more footage of her.

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Normally this is the part where I would talk about who is sitting in a good position in this game. Obviously, it is a huge waste of time when this swap is going to change everything.

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Now let’s talk about our buddy Patrick.

Patrick was our most controversial character in the whole group right now. Probst’s pre-season blunder of predicting Simone to win is now balanced by his prediction that Patrick would leave very early.

And yes, we can now all stop complaining that Patrick and Ali knew each other before the game. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the only other example off the top of my head of accidental encounters was Brett Clouser and Laura Morett attending the same church in Oregon prior to Survivor: Samoa.

At times it looked like Patrick was a bit more humble than we were expecting. Of course, him talking about being self-aware at Tribal and wanting to grow was shattered as he expressed extreme displeasure at his tribemates for daring to vote him out.

Did he feel entitled to staying more so than everyone else?

Is he more pissed that he was chosen to leave over somebody who should have been really easy to eliminate on paper?

Everyone talked about how Simone didn’t fit in. Does Patrick feel hurt because him going home second from the Hustlers means he didn’t fit in (Martha Stewart Apprentice™)?

Patrick played his hand horribly. His relationship with Ali was a huge gift. Then he just needed to focus on bonding with everyone else to guarantee protection. He could still be a Type A personality, but he just had to listen. Figure out what his tribemates value most in an alliance member.

But he didn’t.

He looked for an idol when nobody else was and did so without anybody’s permission.

He couldn’t stop screaming about crabs when he was told by Ali to stop screaming about crabs.

He couldn’t stop grinning at Lauren nor give her a name for who to vote out when she told him to wipe that silly smirk off that face, and to say something other than “I just want to stay in this game”.

Then when trust was brought into question he said, “I trust MOST of these people” in a group setting. Look up Brad from Cook Islands and you learn where that gets you.

Patrick just doesn’t get Survivor.

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Out of everyone on the Hustler tribe, Lauren is by far the one who earned that label. She had no business being able to manipulate her tribe into keeping her through two Tribal Councils, but she freakin’ hustled and succeeded.

Ali didn’t get her way. Ryan didn’t get his way. Devon didn’t get his way.

Like Burger King, Lauren got it her way.

I hope Lauren makes it far in this game because I think she will. . . or maybe she gets put on a tribe with four Healers and she is voted out next in an uneventful vote. Who knows.

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By the way, look at how awesome Chrissy is doing!

The end.boat2

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