Here we are… just about at the very end of one of the most fun Survivor seasons in a while. I don’t know what I’m going to do or write about post Survivor. Maybe I can write about the fact that with the advent of Facebook and Instagram every woman who has a baby/toddler treats them like their real dress up dolls that they can show off like those sites are a worldwide, “Best in Show” contest for human toddlers, “And here comes the Northwest region of the 2 to 3year old brunette toddler breeds, look at those outfits”. I mean I’m all for cute pics of babies, but for the love of god, we got young mothers dressing up their babies in 12 different combinations of clothes and accessories with the sole purpose of posting the pic on Instagram or Facebook….we get it…you think your kid is the cutest kid in the world. I mean hats are not something a baby or toddler wants to be wearing right? So why are you putting a 1920’s paper boy hat on them? I don’t mean to be a downer but if I see one more pic of a girl toddler dressed up like Kim Kardashian I’m going to report it to DHS. All these kids are going to grow up approaching phone cameras like their Alec Baldwin facing the paparazzi and lash out.
This blog for our final survivor recap here will compare each remaining contestant’s plight with a historically memorable TV show’s finale, or a historically memorable TV finale in MY history I should say. Before we get to that, let’s talk a little about this last episode. This was once again a great episode. I love the night vision camera they use at the start of every episode post the previous episodes tribal council, because it makes every player look like a high functioning zombie from the Walking Dead. Can we change the format of Survivor where we the viewer’s get to vote on the wardrobe Jeff Probst gets to wear in the next season? I’m getting tired of the teal “Crocodile Dundee” outback shirt he’s been rocking this season. Would anybody be against him wearing bad Hawaiian shirts episode to episode? With all that said, let’s get into this monumental final blog, where I’m taking some of my favorite TV show’s finales and comparing them to the remaining Survivor players destiny in the game.
- Hayden and Breaking Bad:
Spoiler alert! This is the best case scenario for Hayden as theWalter White Character, Ciera as Jessie Pinkman, Tyson as Uncle Jack, Gervase as the dude on the recliner who plays a neo-nazi on this show and played the exact same neo-nazi character onJustified, Monica as the “take your pick from any of the remaining dead bad dudes”, who all remind me of my cousin “G” whose a great, stand-up dude, but he’s the one in the family whose a little, “too pro” gun ownership, you know every family has the one cousin who quotes the second amendment a little too vigorously to the point that it’s a little unsettling. Put it this way, I could definitely see him as the secretary of defense on Uncle Jack’s crew. Anyways to get back on point, in this ending, Hayden would somehow defeat the dragon lady Laura and Tina at Redemption Island and then go back into the game wounded and almost dead to get his vengeance on Tyson and Gervase, but like in Breaking Bad, Tyson and Gervase would be ready for him. It would be cool to see Hayden, after winning Redemption Island, limp back to camp with a full beard (grown in a day).Hayden would see Ciera in chains figuratively speaking as Tyson/Gervases hostage until she is not needed. Then upon seeing this, Hayden will have to deploy is already, perfectly formulated plan, that I don’t know what that is yet because I don’t see any move Hayden could make if he got back into the game other than winning immunity. It would be pretty cool and ironic if he somehow made a coconut gun that fired coconuts like the bullets fired out of the car in Breaking bad and then it would be coconuts that ultimately killed Tyson and Gervase. Hayden had a great run in this game, highlighted by his move last week when he avoided being voted off and got everybody to draw rocks. Even though it looks like he’s not going to win Survivor, the fact that he won Big Brother and then made such a deep run in this game pretty much makes him the Bo Jackson of reality TV shows.
would have liked to see Kat’s reaction to seeing Hayden check out Katie at Tribal. Where do the pre-jury players go after their voted out? Do they get send straight home or do they get sent to a two star motel as opposed to luxurious ponderosa that the jury members get sent to? With the likely hood that Hayden goes to the Jury tomorrow, my guess is that his vote goes to Tyson.
- Tina and Dexter:
First off, remember when Dexter was a good a show? We can argue that it was a good show seasons1-4(being generous) and then the moment the sister figured out that her brother killed more people then Ted Bundy the show officially jumped the shark for the last two –three seasons. Nobody was prepared for how historically bad the final season of Dexter was going to be and then the final episode happened and Jesus was that awful. I mean ifGeorge Clooney couldn’t survive the perfect storm with a full crew and a bigger boat, how and the hell is Dextersurviving that tittle wave in the SS Minnow? Then the show ends (Spoiler alert but trust me it sucks) with Dexter in Oregon (my current state no less) with an awful beard in a new identity which I guess is a logger….just awful. A season like that wrecks the previous seasons success, it literally (yes literally) kills the legacy of the show. This last season of Dexter was so horrible and anybody who liked it I will question your morals and values as a person as it was that bad(I should stop beating around the bush and tell you how I really feel about it, right?). Anyway, Dexterin the last episode pulls the plug on his sister’s life support, like Tina pulling the life support of her daughters Survivor game. Will the guilt of that movie have any effect on Tina heading into this final episode? I would think that Tina is on borrowed time now. The question I have been asking, is it more grueling to be on Redemption Island throughout the majority of time or just playing the regular Survivor game? You have Laura who looks strong, well-rested and focused every episode and then you have Tina who looks like she has been in an internment camp for six months. Tina really surprised me this last episode that she was willing to take out her daughter. Tina shows that although she may look worn down, she still clearly has a fire where it counts. I would guess she loses at Redemption Island, but her vote may be harder to predict in that Tyson and Gervase have really pissed her off. I would guess that her vote goes to Ciera(if she is there) and if not I think Tina will come around and vote for Tyson.
- Laura and Days of our Lives:
So….when I was seven years old, I may or may not have been a member of the Shane Donovan fan club. Let me back up, this is from the soap opera Days of Our lives, I’m guess this from season 48 or sometime between 1987 and 1988(I pray it’s not later than those years, because then it would really reflect how weird of a kid I was). My mom got me hooked on Days of our Lives because she watched it every day during the younger years of my childhood. Every day at 2pm I would watch and being a strange kid I got invested in the characters from the show. It’s weird because in the 1980’s soap opera’s had the pre-internet crazy fan bases, kind of like the fan bases that would come in future seasons with shows like Lost or Walking Dead. So I chose this show because for one, this is my goddamn blog and because of that I had to choose finale’s that affected me and this moment, when Shane Donovan, the ISA agent working from Salem (whatever hell state Days of our lives takes place in, my guess is East coast because it always snows there)gets thrown off the mountain by one of the biggest “that guy, from that one thing” people in TV history it really affected me. Shane was my favorite character, why…I don’t remember, knowing me it’s probably because he had dark hair like me and his name was F’ing Shane Donovan, I mean that’s a pretty gangster name…..right? He also went on crazy, implausible soap opera written missions. In a nut shell he was the James Bond of Soap operas. Ok I’m wasting all of our time here, so Laura has been a cold blooded assassin on Redemption Island. There has been no-doubt in every competition that Laura was going to win. If Laura gets into the game again, what is going to happen? With Ciera having an outside chance at winning the game (unlikely but still a chance) if Laura gets back into the game will she sacrifice herself to try and get Ciera into the finals? I was completely wrong about Tina sacrificing herself for Katie, but I think Laura has demonstrated and stated that she would sacrifice herself for her daughter. Laura’s ability to win competitions if she does get back into the game is the wild card in this remaining deck. I think Laura would give her immunity necklace if she won to Ciera. With that said, my guess is that Laura does not make it to the finals and then cast her vote for Ciera if she is there and if not another vote for Tyson.
- Monica and Lost:
One of the most polarizing finales in TV history, Lost makes it into another one of my blogs, because Monica is a pretty polarizing figure in the game at this point. Before we get to Monica let me be transparent and state for the record again that I think the last season of Lost for lack of a better word sucked. People can say the show was about the characters and they even answered all the majority of questions that people wanted answered, but let’s be honest, that’s all B.S. We all know how excited we all were after the first four seasons of the show and the last season of the show did not pay off or feel like it should have. Monica is kind of like Jack at the end of Lost, as she is ultimately going to be sacrificing herself for the betterment of her alliance. I think it would have been really hard for Monica to turn on Tyson and Gervase but I think she will regret not doing it. Monica needs a big move on her resume and that would have been it. I think making that move would have evened out the chances for everybody not named Tyson to win the game. Doing that move would have meant taking a big step into the unknown, which is hard for Monica as she has played really paranoid all season long. Not making the move, was actually one of the biggest moves for Tyson in this game, as it could be the last chance or hope of the remaining players to have a chance at winning the game. Monica is going to have to embrace her survivor death like Jack, lying on the ground, smiling and with a knowing look on her face as Tyson and Gervase are flying by her into the finals that she made the move that got them into the finals.
When Is the Hurly/Walt/Ben spin off going to happen? I would guess that all three are “available”. I think Mr Ecko could come back as the wacky neighbor on the island.
- Ciera and The Sopranos:
A controversial choice for a controversial player here. At first I hated the Sopranos finale, I mean I hated it with a passion for like four years, but now I realize that it meant that Tony did get killed in the diner. I re-watched the show, and the biggest red flag to me was when I realized that Silvio got shot by a dude in a Members Only jacket and then in that fateful last episode of the show we got a dude in a member’s only jacket going to the bathroom before we all thought our cable went out at the worst possible time in cable “going out history” . Do you think Paulie and Christopher were the only male actors on the show that could wear pants under a 48 waist? Can we continue to talk about how bad A.J Soprano was at acting? Why didn’t they kill him off!!!?? I think Ciera like Tony knows that she has to watch her back but when her moment of doom comes she won’t see it coming and her survivor life will fade to black. I think Ciera has played great this season. At the start of the season, she hung back and let Brad hang himself and then merged smoothly with Tyson/Gervase and when her time came to do something she pounced on it and started making good moves. Ciera came close this season, very close but ultimately like Tony Soprano, the war is just about over and it’s time for the big dogs in the New York family (Tyson and Gervase) to tie up loose ends and that means the end of Ciera. The only hope is an immunity necklace worn around her neck. I don’t think she will make it to the final three. I think Ciera in the end will cast her vote for Tyson.
- Gervase and Seinfeld:
You may think this is a weird choice for Gervase but I think it’s a perfect fit. The finale of Seinfeld was and is still a really polarizing finale. The last two part finale is about the four main characters getting brought to court and having to hear from every former character from the show rake them through the coals for their former bad choices. I think Gervase is going to make it to the finals but like Seinfeldhe is going to face the wrath of the jury that is going to focus their wrath at Gervase. You can argue that Gervase has played just as well as Tyson this season or is just as deserving to win the game as him, but it appears as if the jury is going to judge them completely different. Gervase also has been more confrontational then Tyson at Tribal Council in front of the jury, which has not appeared to have gone over well for Gervase. Kanye West has come off better in interviews then Gervase has the past three episodes. It also seems like Gervase has not received the best edit in regards to his social game at the camp. We have seen times during the season where other players have implied that Gervase played a major role in conning them, but we haven’t seen many of those moments ourselves this season. My guess is that Gervase makes it to the finals and then gets the full vitriol of the Jury and comes in 3rd place.
- Tyson and Justified:
Justified is my favorite show on TV now that Breaking Badhas ended. I chose the second season of Justified because it was fantastic and really underrated. I hope I get to cover it for Rob some point in the future now that the new season starts next month. The main character ofJustified if you don’t know is Raylan Givens played awesomely by Timothy Olyphant. Raylan Givens is a likeable but somewhat flawed man who works as an officer in the Marshals office in Harlan County. In the second season Finale Raylan faces his major adversary that season, a lady Godfather type of the white trash world named Mags. Mags was known to poison her victims with a hidden poison put in homemade moonshine, which leads us to the clip above. In the end Raylan always comes out victorious, even when things look at its worst. Tyson is ourRaylan Givens this season. When things could have gone bad for Tyson, it always seemed to work out for the Stormin Mormon. Like Raylan Givens, Tyson always has a mischievous smile on his face when things are appearing at their worst. Tyson has one more episode to cement my belief that this whole season was in-fact the season of Tyson and it looks like nothing is going to change my belief of this. Tyson will have to slay either Hayden or Laura for the second time and then after that he will be home free to what I feel will be a near unanimous vote for him. Tyson has had the “look” of a Survivor winner this whole season, combining great play with a little luck on his side throughout the season. I think Sunday night is going to be the cherry on top for Tyson’s long journey climbing the Survivor Mountain.
So here we are the final Survivor blog of this season. In my cousin Wendi’s survivor pool that she does every season, where you pick a team of four players at the start of the season and get points every week they stay in the game, I picked Tyson, Gervase, Hayden and Tina and I won’t get into the fact that I have won two of the last three seasons and then this season my cousin coincidentally picked the exact same team as me only she picked Monica over Tina which is just lucky….I will be protesting, but this is not the time or place for this topic. My point is that …well I actually didn’t have a point I just wanted a forum to vent about this. The last episode is going to be all about Tyson formally winning a game he actually won after the fourth episode this season. Even though we all new Tyson was going to win this season, it’s been fun watching it unfold and I definitely liked the blood vs. water format and hope they bring it back again. Thanks to all of you for reading my blog this season, I really appreciate all the positive feedback and I will be back in January for something different.