Survivor: David vs Goliath

Survivor: David vs. Goliath — “The Mason-Dixon Lie”

Logan Saunders recaps episode 2 of Survivor: David vs. Goliath ahead of episode 3.

SURVIVOR 37: CONTENDERS VS. GOLIATHS: DAVID VS. GOLIATH

Episode 2 Recap: “The Mason-Dixon Lie”

 

DAVIDS

CHRISTIAN

BI

ELIZABETH

GABBY

JESSICA

CARL

DAVIE

LYRSA

NICK

 

GOLIATHS

NATALIA

NATALIE

JEREMY

JOHN

KARA

ALEC

ANGELINA

DANIEL

MIKE

ALISON

 

First off, I wasn’t able to watch this episode for 36 hours and was never spoiled as to who was voted off despite logging onto social media multiple times. I was accepting the fact I would know who was going home due to a Wednesday night obligation, but yet, I was able to stay in the dark. Huh.

Previously on Survivor: The 37th season began with “an upset.” At the Goliath tribe, Dan fell for Kara and discovered an idol.

At the David tribe, Nick found himself on the outs.

But Mother Nature intervened and Pat was medically evacuated.

Nineteen are left; ow will Mike White not get medically evacuated tonight?

 

DAVIDS

NIGHT 3

Nick is being super negative as everyone seeks dry wood to strike a fire. Jess’ morale is super low due to Pat’s exit.

A nasty storm is hitting camp. This is near Cyclone territory.

 

GOLIATHS

NIGHT 3

Overwhelmed by the storm.

 

DAVIDS

NIGHT 3

Also overwhelmed by the storm.

 

GOLIATHS

NIGHT 3

Questioning why the hell they signed up for this game.

 

GOLIATHS

DAY 4

Their tribe flag is ready to snap in half. Teeth chattering. Handshaking. Getting a fire is a helluva challenge. Angelina is breaking down much like everyone else.

 

DAVIDS

DAY 4

Christian and Nick enter the jungle to find bamboo in the rain. They strategize. Christian is happy he didn’t have to sacrifice Nick so early because he thinks he is an ally. Oh, cool butterfly on the camera lens!

Nick thinks Christian and himself are like JT and Stephen from Tocantins–a season now in the first half of the Survivor timeline.

Nick names his alliance with Christian the Mason-Dixon Line. Yeah, that’ll go.

 

DAVIDS

DAY 4

They are provided a fire making kit because of the awful storm and also a tarp.

 

GOLIATHS

DAY 4

They receive the same gifts. It’d be funny if one of the two tribes was completely shafted.

Dan does an odd crotch dance. He talks about his idol, dancing, and sleeping NEXT to Kara as opposed to sleeping WITH Kara. It’s nearly a perfect scenario.

Dan says it is wrapped in a sock. Kara wants it to be buried. They argue over how to conceal the idol.

Kara knows the alliance is super obvious.

Jeremy and Alec openly discuss the showmance.

Kara, Natalia, and Angelina each have their alliances with Alec and Shaman of Sexy. They want to

Jeremy and Mike go out fishing. They return to camp as Mike acts as a lookout for Jeremy as Jeremy searches Dan’s clothes. There is an idol in a sock. That was quick. I can’t recall a time where an idol was found in somebody’s possessions by day four. Jeremy believes Kara would know about Dan’s idol. Well, Dan’s clothes had to be removed somehow.

Mike believes the -information- about the idol is a greater advantage than the idol itself.

 

DAVIDS

DAY 4

Davie appreciates the praise of bringing in the octopus. He loves providing so now he is stomping on random animals and handing them over to his tribemates. This leads to him using this as a distraction to look for the idol. It’s his.

DAVIE: Authentic idol leather.

There’s no leather on that idol. It looks like a bead necklace made at a third grader’s summer camp.

DAVIDS

DAY 5

Nick pulls off Christian’s shirt for him. Maybe Dan has hidden another idol in there.

Carl gathers up Jessica, Nick, and Elisabeth to target Lyrsa in order to keep the tribe strong. Oh wait, it’s Elizabeth? S’s and Z’s are the same to me.

Elizabeth is impressed as much as Shania Twain to hear Lyrsa’s name being brought up. She immediately goes to Lyrsa.

LYRSA: How am I the weakest? Who won the first f–king challenge?

What’s with Puerto Ricans being the targets at the start of these past two Survivor seasons?

 

GOLIATHS

DAY 5

They are having so much fun. Natalia asks if she has boogers in her teeth. Natalie is not amused by somebody asking if they have mucus in teeth.

Jeremy is naked in the water.

Alison gets rushed by a big wave.

Natalie stares, glares, and stalks her entire tribe as they construct the shelter. Everyone else begins remarking on Natalie’s lack of social awareness.

Shaman wants to work with Natalie because no one would expect him to work with her. He reveals to Natalie about Dan painting the target on Natalie’s back.

NATALIE: Why pick off the old lady? They’re playing like amateurs.

Natalie directly confronts Alec and Dan about why in the hell they would go after the senior citizen.

ANGELINA: I don’t think there is any way to change the numbers.

…Not wise.

NATALIE: You guys are playing like a bunch of amateurs. A bunch of Davids. I don’t know if you guys should be on the Goliath tribe…Don’t think I am not gonna drop a little Natalie napalm before it’s overI will not go quietlyI have some tricks.

Remember–she is saying these statements to people. None of these are confessionals.

Jeremy is a lawyer. He knows how to deal with difficult people. Jeremy informs Natalie that she is lacking self-awareness. The conversation doesn’t go well as Natalie doesn’t believe she isn’t getting along with people in her tribe. Jeremy stumbles before he brings up African-American kinship. I will be the first to admit I know nothing about this subject.

Natalie stops Jeremy again. “Is that all?”

JEREMY: She has been married for 24 years. So somebody loves her as she is…that means she’s not making any changes.

  1. That’s just a funny confessional.

Jeremy is going into OVERDRIVE to get Natalie out. Huh. He does know how to deal with difficult people.

 

TRIBAL IMMUNITY CHALLENGE #2

DAY 6

Goliaths look at the new David tribe. Probst briefly sums up the evacuation and that they, in fact, survived a freakin’ cyclone. I feel bad for the folks on Survivor 41.

For today’s challenge: One person from each tribe uses just two rungs to climb a ladder and retrieve a key. Paddle to retrieve puzzle pieces. Balance on a wobbly table to put together the puzzle. The first tribe to do so wins immunity and reward. Davie repeatedly begs for fishing gear. His wish is granted. Sean Kenniff’s Superpole 2000 is upgraded to a 3000.

Natalie is sitting out.

Bi and Alec have to climb a very tall ladder using just two rungs all the way up. It uses a lot of core strength. Alec whoops the MMA fighter. He hops down with the key. They are all in the water. I am surprised Bi isn’t better conditioned for this.

Goliaths are at the platform. They have all three bags.

PROBST: It has the making of a Survivor blowout.

Again, Probst–look up past seasons to understand what a true blowout is.

Goliaths are at the beach. Bi pops out the key then jumps down. Davids can finally go into the water. Bi is jumping onto the platform to grab the puzzle pieces but the Davids’ boat gets really far away from Bi. She is stuck waiting minutes until the Davids find a way back to the platform.

This paddling course is extremely small, I should note. It’s not like Australian Survivor.

Goliaths have only put up two of their puzzle pieces during this lead. Another piece falls. Dan coaches the others.

Jeremy and Lyrsa bicker with one another.

Kara substitutes for Angelina because of the heat today rather than shivering to shit.

Christian keeps losing pieces. We are treated to a lengthy montage.

ELAPSED TIME: 1 HOUR

And I think the ladder and paddling combined for about ten minutes.

The Davids have made zero progress.

Goliaths have the puzzle done. All five need to slowly make their way back to the starting line to be declared the winners. They do.

Christian finds an excuse to hug Gabby during their moment of sadness. Alison sprints to snag the idol from Probst.

CHRISTIAN: We need to pick at the scabs of the boiling blood underneath.

What a gross analogy.

 

DAVIDS

DAY 6

LYRSA: It’s like they’re invincible. They’re so big. Sometimes it feels a little bit unfair too.

BI: In my sport, technique beats everything. I don’t believe in the size thing. Y’all shouldn’t go forth with that mindset. There are solutions to every problem and you guys know that in your life. Two losses shouldn’t change your perspective.

JESSICA: It sucks.

Jessica, Bi, and Gabby all agree to vote out Lyrsa. Gabby thinks Bi and Jessica are speaking in mere cliches. Gabby is aware she isn’t too much physically stronger than Lyrsa, and is paranoid.

Lyrsa and Elizabeth discuss the target on Lyrsa’s back. Maybe write Jessica’s name?

Elizabeth approaches Gabby. She has to clear Gabbs’ paranoia and vote for Jessica. Lyrsa joins the conversation. Christian casually strolls over like he is somewhat drunk. Elizabeth thinks Jessica-Carl’s bond will snap as well as Jessica-Bi’s bond.

Christian and Gabby have a conversation.

GABBY: You want to play with me?

CHRISTIAN: …Oh, in the sand?

GABBY: No, in the game.

Be funny if she meant the sand. What games in the sand?

Nick and Christian discuss if they should target Jessica or Lyrsa. The power is in the hands ofI can’t believe I am saying thisMason-Dixon Line. Or just Christian and Nick.

 

TRIBAL COUNCIL #2

(PAT)

X

(BI)-(CARL)-(CHRISTIAN)-(iDAVIEi)-(ELIZABETH)-(GABBY)-(JESSICA)-(LYRSA)-(NICK)

They talk about rain more than Ollie from Family Guy and Gene Kelly combined.

Elizabeth is like Jessie straight out of Toy Story.

Lyrsa volunteers knowing she is the weakest link. Jessica says Lyrsa needs to check herself before she wrecks herself. Jessica thinks it is dumb to wait until day 6 to start playing.

Bi is voting based on camp and challenge performance. Simple.

After Christian being the life of Tribal Council and revisiting the roller coaster analogies from Survivor 35, we finally get to vote.

Davie votes LYRSA.

No idol is played.

FIRST VOTE: LYRSA <3

SECOND VOTE: Jessica

THIRD VOTE: Lyrcca

FOURTH VOTE: JESS

FIFTH VOTE: Lyrsa

SIXTH VOTE: Lyrsa

SEVENTH VOTE: Jess

EIGHTH VOTE: Jessica

Carl and Bi react like they were told it’s not butter.

FINAL VOTE: JESS

The nineteen-year-old is gone. Davie, Bi, and Carl are shocked. “What just happened?” Danielle DiLorenzo’s torch has been carried.

Speaking of torches, Jessica’s is snuffed.

(XXXXXXX)

Next Time on Survivor: My PVR cut that off. I have to wait until I find a link onlineah, alas. When you feel all alone, you need to find a kindred spirit or you’ll go crazy.

Jessica’s final words: My PVR cut that off too. Screw you. Ah, alas. Jessica is complimented by being first voted out and uses the word “hashtag” in her final words. Just in case you forgot she was a teenager.

*

So the Mason-Dixon Line was able to deceive Carl, Bi, and Davie. I assume Christian and Nick found it much easier to develop a tight alliance with a super loyal person like Elizabeth, an open book like Lyrsa, and Gabby who has romantic tension with Christian. It was a clear winner over the dominating personalities of MMA fighter Bi, provider and idol holder Davie, and no-nonsense commander Carl.

Mike White managed to survive an episode without dying. I totally thought our first Tribal Council would be delayed until episode three. I am hoping he doesn’t make the family visit because I am genuinely worried how many minutes Mel White could last on his feet on the beaches of Fiji before a wave hits the shore and sweeps him into the ocean.

We have had plenty of over-the-top casting gimmicks over the years where we wait for their inevitable early exit. VP of the Miami Marlins, John Rocker, Jimmy Johnson, Cliff Robinson, etc. but the Shaman of Sexy seems like he is a legitimate contestant.

The Goliaths tribe seems to have their Day 39 Goatliath already chosen–Natalie. No self-awareness + an open book + Not physically fit + Never going with the flow = Perfect person to take to day 39, and multiple people on the tribe are already aligning with her. Those who refuse to accept Natalie as being protected are going to find themselves going home early. Don’t try to change the tide, folks. Something tells me Dan and his idol will both see an early exit from the game.

Davie. I like Davie.

I like how the Goliaths have three pairs of showmances, but yet only one pair has had more than twenty seconds of screen time through the first two episodes. Hopefully, we get more showing rather than telling in the next episode when the Goliaths will likely go to Tribal Council.

“Do you want to play with me?”
“In the sand?”
“No. . .”

“!!!!!”

“. . .In this game.”

“Oh. -_-”

And here I was already planning to name Gabby and Christian’s Survivor sex tape. It would be our first CBS sex tape since Jeff and Jackie on The Amazing Race 26.

My co-worker Kristin thought 19-year-old Jessica was going to be a very early exit and wouldn’t be able to handle Survivor. While she proved to be right about Jessica being an early exit, Jessica went home in a 5-4 blindside and was able to get through a freakin’ cyclone in Survivor. It’s just a classic case of it being Survivor’s 37th season where the schemer and a slide puzzle expert who thinks twenty moves ahead decided to make a power grab early. One vote away, Jessica. One vote away. Hell, if Pat wasn’t evacuated she would have been able to eliminate both Nick and Lyrsa.

Am I the only one who has to keep sorting through who is Nick and who is Alec? I always feel like I am mixing them up.

The same goes for Natalia and Alison. I suppose this is bound to happen in 20-person seasons and just two episodes in.

Probst strongly hinted more rain was coming. I presume one more player will be evacuated pre-merge. Why else would you tease the conditions are going to be rough and “they’re not out of the woods yet?”

 

P.S. I see Khabib grounding and pounding McGregor tonight in UFC 229. I miss Harold Howard.

P.P.S. I’ll be attending my first ever BBCAN casting call just one week after applying for Survivor for the first time in my life. I waited eighteen years, but the stars are finally aligning.

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