Survivor Kaoh Rong

Survivor: Breaking Bad

Here we are, back for another episode of “Who can I jinx tonight?”. Last week was especially fun, as the foreshowing of Scot and Jason’s empire collapsing was pretty fun to follow along with.  I mean, you can’t tempt and act like an ass with the Survivor gods…that is just not very good Survivoring by Scot and Jason. The pressure now shifts to Tai. If Tai wins the game, then great. If not, then he is going to regret flipping as he did this last episode. The dynamics of the game have shifted very dramatically now that we are in the very back stretch of this game. We are in a season where nobody really has stood out, to the point that every week now it seems like the person who was in the best position the episode before is the one that goes home that next week. Survivor really can be a cold, fickle bitch (I think Whitman said that once). With that said, let’s see who I can jinx this week, or I mean, let’s see who is in the best position this week and where everybody else stands heading into tonight.

Aubry: Aubry somehow has climbed her way into the pole position of this game. She is great at seeing through people and seems to know what to say to people to plant ideas into their heads. Aubry has avoided the Survivor Grim Reaper a couple times even when it seemed destined for her to go, so she is resilient as well as cunning. Do I think Aubry would be my pick to win it all in a season packed with a bunch of really smart, good Survivor players?…No, not at all, but in this season, where the majority of the cast couldn’t hit Survivor if they fell out of Tribal Council, Aubry has slowly started to separate herself from the pack and right now is your number one contender to win this season. It will be very interesting if she works with Tai this episode or works to get him out this episode.

Tai: Speaking of Tai, so Tai made a huge non-move last night when he didn’t participate in the potential super idol move, which was probably our last chance this season to actually see the super idol in action. What is the move now for Tai? Does he immediately go with Aubry and Cydney now moving forward? Do they even really want him on their side? Did Tai make an impulsive move or a great move? I mean, again, Scot and Jason are two people who it seems were acting like such douches so that anybody and everybody would be wanting to sit by them at the end. Then again, if Tai uses his idol, yes he gets Aubry out, but now he is idol-less, and even being idol-less,Tai would still be a big target because he crushes competitions and he is much liked by everybody. Sitting next to Tai doesn’t seem prudent for anybody. So this means Tai almost needs to win-out on the immunity challenges starting tonight. Tai needs to stay alive tonight and decide who he wants to play with for the remainder of the game.

Cydney: Cydney has been agitated for client the last four episodes but has lived to fight on, and here we are now, with Cydney seemingly in a pretty good spot.  The girls won the battle against the boys and now it will be interesting to see if Cydney who has appeared to be the most paranoid player in the group left, will start thinking about some good ole fashioned backstabbing? The question for Cydney is whether she can stay poised and come up with a roadmap for herself to make it to the end. Tonight, though, she shouldn’t be a target.

Michele: The human swing or wildcard of this season is Michele. Michele seems stuck in the middle of her own mind with what or how she wants to play out the rest of the game. It’s coming to the point, maybe tonight, that we get to see what Michele is in this game. Her edit this season hasn’t been one of a winner it seems, so maybe she will just go quietly into the night, but I don’t think tonight is that night. There doesn’t seem to be any reason to think that Michele would be the target tonight, which is good for Michele, but again where does she go from here? They only seem to show Michele right after the Immunity Challenge when they need to show us which way the swing voters are leaning. Michele hasn’t done anything really to distinguish herself in the game, or really shown us much in general, so it’s tough to forecast how her Survivor life will end. I think tonight, though, she is safe.

Julia: She’s the other big swing vote, but she hasn’t hidden or been smooth with her swinging. She has been very blatant with her swinging. For a 19 or 20-year-old, however old she is, she really has been stronger than I’m sure any of us thought or wanted a 19-year-old Survivor player to be. I mean, even with pissing off a group of girls which she has already done this season, she managed to survive, which in the wild, surviving a pack of vindictive females should be something applauded. From this point tonight, though, Julia needs to decide which peeps she is going to try and roll with. It’s going to be tough for Julia, though, as nobody is going to be in a rush to trust her, other than maybe Michele. Julia actually could be a sneaky dark horse target tonight for someone. Julia needs to tread lightly tonight and survive!

Jason: Jason is like a homeless man’s Walter White after Hank got shot by Uncle Jack and Walter White lost almost all his money and everything he worked for:

Again, in no way is Jason as smart or cunning as Walter White. I’m just making the analogy that he thought had it good. He had power and money (idols) and then bam! It’s just about all gone. Now Jason is dealing with the ruin of his fallen “empire”. Jason is probably feeling a little shell-shocked heading into tonight’s episode. His “strong” alliance of three is now just 1 (himself). Where does Jason turn tonight now, and why on earth did he give his idol to Scot? He could have held on to it and then merged the idol with Tai to use it for Scot anyways without having to give it to Scot before Tribal, right?? Jason needs to tuck his tail between his legs and slink off into a dark corner tonight and hope he doesn’t become the main target. I’m not sure Jason has anybody to really play with as far as going to the finals.

Joe: Did we even see Joe last episode? Did they give him the night off? Was he caught up in a Blue Bloods marathon and he just decided to skip Tribal Council? Joe seems to walk around with an air of knowing he’s not winning this season and just wants to spend his remaining Survivor life just not giving an F. Not sure what his game plan is here, but he seems like just a random person who is at camp with the rest of the players– like they’re not sure if they’re allowed to talk or interact with him anymore. I’m not sure where Joe or whom Joe wants to play with. I guess it would be Aubry, but that Aubry train is moving so fast that I don’t know if Joe can jump on it at this point. Maybe it’s too late.

So that leads us into tonight. Is this the episode where my streak of writing about the person in the best position in the game and then they immediately get voted out ends?…Will that end tonight? Is Aubry going to survive my death fog? Basically, if Aubry goes tonight, I have no idea where in the hell we’re headed this season– like potentially, it could be the most random winner in Survivor history. I mean, it might already turn out to be the most random winner in Survivor history. Let’s just sit back and enjoy this hugely enjoyable– for random reasons–season of Survivor.

It’s 8 pm Portland, Oregon time, so it’s time to start:

8 pm

Previously on Survivor: I’m still a little salty as we relive the Scot demise from last week that we, most likely, will not get to see the super idol played. I feel like at some point if they bring it back for another season it might actually cause a player or two to walk off the game. And I also forgot that Tai has the extra vote power too. Wow. Tai really does have some serious ammo.

8:01

OK, here we are, back from the last vote. Tai is walking around like he knows he just got away with murder. Aubry condescendingly tells Tai that she is so “happy” for him.

Jason tries to take this betrayal in stride. Parlayed that he lost his idol as well, he is taking it better than I would have thought. He lets Cydney knows that he is open for business with her again.

Julia is scrambling, feeling like she is screwed, while Aubry, Tai, and Cydney are laughing at how idiotic Scot and Jason were and really can you blame them? I mean, why did Jason give Scot his idol to hold again??? If he wanted to play it, he could have given it to Scot without losing it like he did, right? My lord was that an awful move by Jason, maybe an all-time top ten worst Survivor move.

Commercial Break:

This past weekend I went to the Oregon Coast. Why is it when you ever go to any small coastal towns the local townspeople always seem to be carrying some deep, dark, disturbing secret? It’s like always a clear divide between tourist and locals as if all the locals are pod people from Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Basically, when you’re in those city limits, it feels like you’re one discovery of a dark community secret away from being murdered at any moment. But on the plus side, we did get to go to the local Wax Museum and a Ripley’s Believe it or Not, and believe it or not, we did not get murdered, so all in all, you would have to say the trip was a success.

Wax museums are pretty creepy, though, especially cheaply made wax figures that look nothing like their intended targets. I will say as a kid I used to go the best wax museum in California

The horror exhibit at that place still triggers PTSD in me to this day.

8:07

Back from commercial, we join the players the next morning, as Tai is feeling some guilt and wants to talk with Jason.

Tai then does approach Jason, and Jason, so far, is being humble and not being a dick to Tai. Maybe Scot was the bad guy in this equation.

Jason shares that deep down he actually is very pissed and vows revenge. Jason asks the rhetorical question of “Where can I get in?”…Maybe with Cydney is the only hope?

8:10

It’s time for the reward challenge. Tonight they are playing for a helicopter ride and a picnic lunch.

They are playing in pairs, so it’s Tai and Joe, Cydney and Michele, and then Aubry and Julia, with Jason being left out…Jason can’t catch a break unless it’s one of the comps where the winners get to pick people to join them, which it probably will be and then Jason can hope that he gets picked to go…doubtful, but hey, anything can happen.

8:14

Cydney and Michele win the challenge. They get to pick one person to join them. They pick Aubry, who I guess hasn’t won a challenge yet. Interesting. If this will have any ramifications with the players left out, is this the opening Jason was looking for? A good player would use this to rally and make a move to shift the game. I guess we will see if Jason has that in him.

Commercial Break:

Those of you that have been reading me for the past few years (god bless you) know that the following is a huge issue for me: Have you been looking at Facebook lately and have you noticed how much filters has turned everybody into a “professional photographer”? I know I have talked about his before: how I hate and think it’s so douchey when women do the fake, staged photo with their kids that they want to pretend was an organic moment that “somebody” happened to capture on film even though it was taken on their own phone and clearly the kids knew somebody was taking their photo. Look, the advent of these new filters and clarity of phone pictures has made this issue blow up.  Let’s be honest, this is a 100 percent women’s (mother’s) issue. Yes, guys take awful selfies too, but it’s always clearly intended to be a picture of themselves. We’re not hiding that fact, and the picture is always off-center, asymmetrical, with the wrong filter chosen.

It’s awful, but you women do it with your kids where you’re trying to manufacture an organic, “deep-moment” that really shows what motherhood is all about…so you’d think, but in reality, all of us are thinking: “Why isn’t she looking at the camera? Is she trying to pretend that someone just “caught” this moment by chance? Yuck, I hate her”.  I will never get over this. And all you “friends” of this person who “like” their photos and comment with things like: “Seriously, you have the cutest kids…I’m not just saying that”, yeah you, you reading this are to blame for the epidemic. You are enabling the problem, and in ten years when Facebook turns into a 1989 JC Penney’s family photo display, all of you will be to blame.

8:20

Back and here we go with the winners of the challenge as they do the helicopter ride and get to pig out on the best tasting fried chicken that they have all ever had.

Michele shares her plans of trying to get people’s trust and makes her pitch to Cydney and Aubry about her loyalty. Aubry seems to be on board with trusting Michele.

Cydney and Aubry talk alone and seem to be feeling themselves and talk about getting to the finals together, and right now they are targeting Julia with Jason and Cydney wanting to target Tai.

8:23

Back at camp with the “losers”, Julia and Jason talk together about how screwed they are. Jason is holding out hope that he can squeeze back into this game. He figures the way to do so would be to get everybody to turn on Tai. They realize they need Cydney on their side to be the fourth vote with Michele to get Tai.

They talk to Cydney and Cydney is obviously not against what they are selling. It just becomes a question of whether they can somehow blindside Tai to the point that he wouldn’t feel compelled to use his idol, which if you’re Tai, you know you need to be on high alert, right?

Commercial Break:

As I’m writing this tonight, I also have my eyes on the score of two playoff basketball games and a hockey game, because I have a never-ending thread with three other friends, and maybe or maybe not, some gambling happens. Somehow, my friend Marc has led me to hockey gambling…which come on, unless you’re from Edmonton or Alberta, Canada, you shouldn’t be betting on hockey. It’s amazing how adolescent male friends can get if you bunch us together and give us an avenue to talk where we’re not monitored by any women/girlfriends/wives–all of us devolve to about sixteen years old. I mean, seriously there are C.I.A. conversations that are less protected than our thread on the phone….If it ever got into the wrong hands,well, let’s just say the terrorists would have won then. So yeah, thanks to my good friends, I’m not only blogging about Survivor but also scoreboard watching for hockey scores, and I probably watch 30 seconds of hockey a year.  Hockey is fun to watch, though, actually as it’s the only sport in which it’s socially acceptable to take wild cheap shots at your opponent and it’s actually strongly encouraged, so how could you not get behind a sport like that? If you ever want a tip on a game, I know a guy for you to go to 😉

8:31

It’s time for the huge immunity challenge. Let’s see, what would give us the best, most crazy Tribal Council? I guess Jason winning, right? Let’s go, Jason!

Maybe the producers are thinking like me as they make the competition as physical as possible, and really besides Cydney, everybody else “struggles” athletically…Granted, Tai and Joe are over 50.  Oh, but there is a puzzle component so I guess Jason is toast.

8:37

Michele wins the challenge and wins immunity tonight. She killed the comp and deserved to win, but now we will see if this leads to a big move or not.

Commercial break:

They’re making the Rush Hour movie series into a T.V. series? They couldn’t get Chris Tucker involved in this somehow? What happened to Chris Tucker? He has just vanished other than a random, shoehorned role in Silver Linings Playbook:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vfTYfnwhpw

His appearance in that had to be the biggest “Wait is that (so and so)? What the hell is he doing in this? It’s taking me out of this movie” appearance in film history, right? I mean, maybe other than Joe Pesci in Moonwalker

And yes, in retrospect, Michael Jackson in that clip frolicking in a meadow with little kids without any other adults around is slightly creepier than it was in 1988…Yes, granted…I mean, did he write this script himself? Man, did I love this movie, though….

8:41

Okay, back from commercial, and it’s time to see who is getting 86’d tonight. Aubry is contemplating whether tonight is the night to go for Jason or whether to target Julia. Aubry seems to be leaning towards Julia while Cydney is leaning towards Jason…So far no Tai talk.

8:43

Michele is feeling conflicted about voting out Julia as they have been together since day one. Seems like she is okay with doing it, though, so far.

8:44

Michele and Julia go off to talk. Julia makes her pitch to Michele, but now it seems like Michele is down to play ball with Julia and vote her out. Seems like she is itching to stick with Julia.

8:45

Jason and Cydney talk. They talk about voting out Tai, but it seems like Cydney is just paying lip service to Jason.

This leads to Cydney and Michele talking alone about what to do. We don’t get any confirmation from them on which way they are leaning, but it seems like we are getting sold on the possibility of Tai getting voted out, when in reality that really isn’t close to happening. Maybe I’m wrong, and so far I have only been wrong about forty-seven times this season, so you gotta feel confident with what I’m thinking, right?

8:47

Time for Tribal! Right now, gun to my head it seems like Julia is the target tonight.

We go around with some opening statements until Julia fires the first shot towards Tai as a target. Tai then reminds everybody about the bullets he has in his chamber with the idol and the extra vote advantage.

The whole conversation turns into one about the trustworthiness of Tai or lack thereof. Jason points out that Tai left their alliance because he felt Jason and Scot were too close only to join Joe and Aubry who are just as close he claims…only in this case, Tai asks: “Who’s Joe? Oh wait, that guy is in the game? I thought he was a production assistant”…Okay, I made up that quote. You got me.

Jeff Probst for the eighth time tonight says so and so “brings up an interesting point”. It must be a personal record for him.

It’s tough to tell where we are headed, but I will stick with Julia as the target as we head to the vote!

8:52

Jeff goes to tally the votes, and Tai asks Aubry if he should play his idol…Aubry should have said “yes” regardless just to flush it out, but she tells him to follow his gut. I don’t think Tai needs to play the idol, but why would he trust what anybody had to say about playing it????

8:53

We go to the vote:

Tai

Julia

Tai

Julia

Julia

The tenth person voted out and fifth member of our jury is Julia. Wow . I got one right…Michele breaks down in tears…Julia is done.

Recap:

It sounds lame to say “for a 19-year-old” she played well, but it’s true. As a 19-year-old, Julia played a hell of a game. She played hard and did basically all she could to get as far as she could, so she should be respected as a player regardless of her age.

So this leads us to next week. It appears that Aubry really is the top dog in this game. I’m saying it right now– Aubry is winning this season. I don’t see anybody else winning. The edit now seems to be completely in her favor and that is it. I’m writing it down in ink. Aubry is winning this season of Survivor.

I don’t even think my death fog jinxing powers can ruin this for Aubry. I think even with Tai’s weapons, he can’t get to the finals because I don’t think he knows how to deploy those powers. I like Tai, so I wouldn’t be against Tai winning, but I just don’t think Tai will make it there. If you think I’m wrong, please tell me and share who you think will beat Aubry.

Thanks for reading and see you next week!

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