Survivor: Worlds Apart

Survivor Meets Clue

Welcome back. It’s the time of the season where I drop running diary for one week and look at the players as characters from one movie or TV show. That is my special power: I can take anybody’s personality and match them up to a character from a movie or a television show.

Tonight I’m feeling a little nostalgic because this cast of Survivor is reminding me of one of the first things I ever wrote for Rob about Big Brother. Plus, I only had like three readers back then. I can confidently say that I think that number has at least doubled since then!

Anyways, on that season of Big Brother there really wasn’t a clear “hero” or a “baby face”, somebody that we the audience are clearly supposed to root for and that reminded me of one of my favorite movies growing up, Clue.

This season of Survivor hasn’t been a who’s who of likable players. Nobody in my mind sticks out as an emotional favorite. This cast is kind of reminding me of Clue as well. I mean, there are some characters that I could see certain people liking for a variety reasons, but there isn’t one clear favorite that I can see everybody for the most part agreeing on. If you asked me right now to pick a Survivor player to win because the game is about to be cancelled and it’s up to me to pick solely on the factor of whom I like best, I really don’t know. As I was typing that last sentence, nobody popped in my head. I want Joaquin to be like a ghost and come back to help sooth Rodney by the fire…

Watch that clip. Then pretend Rodney is Demi Moore and Joaquin is Pat Swayze, and pretend that instead of a penny in an apartment, there is the jungle and Joaquin is showing Rodney where the next idol is…It makes that clip a lot more entertaining.

Clue the movie, for those of you who don’t remember or haven’t seen it, was the first board game that was turned into a semi-successful film. It stars Tim Curry, Martin Mull, Christopher Lloyd who plays a perverted doctor (definitely trying to avoid his Doc Brown typecast), and many other people you can look up. The movie has three different endings. I guess at the time they couldn’t decide on which ending to use, so they tested all three, or maybe they wanted it to be like the game where every final is different? Anyways, in that movie all the characters are guilty of at least one murder, so really there is no hero (Well, there’s one I guess…spoiler alert).

If you haven’t seen the movie, I strongly recommend checking it out… not just for this post, but so you can cross it off your bucket list…You’re welcome.  The plan here is to compare the remaining Survivor players with characters from the movie.

Rodney-Mr. Body

http:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNUP-so0ndQ

I think this comparison is spot on. Both Mr. Body and Rodney think they have epic plans that will get them what they want and both grossly miscalculated the people they were dealing with. I think we all see Rodney succumbing to a Survivor death similar to Mr. Body’s, where there will be a race with people fighting, stumbling over one another to see who can pull the trigger on Rodney first.

Rodney is getting more and more anti-social every week. This episode, there were at least four or five times where the camera caught him muttering threatening things with a dead look in his eye. He definitely is having protein shake withdrawal. If you see a headline online that reads: “Survivor player snaps, grabs machete, and murders four other players after dispute over the correct procedure on peeling a piece of salami”, would you be totally shocked to find Rodney behind this? I wouldn’t. None of the other players seem to know how to deal with him.

He’s like an ape that stumbled into their camp, and everybody else is refraining from making any sudden movements and they try to make nice by feeding him bananas by hand. Mr. Body had a short lifespan in the movie Clue and I anticipate Rodney having an exit here sometime soon.

Side note: Regarding the guy who played Mr. Body: I don’t think I have ever seen him in any other movie or TV show ever again. Seriously, was he murdered that day like Brandon Lee on the set of The Crow, and the film crew covered up the murder and played it off? Can somebody please look into this for me?

Shirin-Evette

The maid who seems to annoy the hell out of everybody… This is my choice for Shirin because …well… she seems to annoy the hell out of everybody. All of her jokes seem to bomb. She makes weird movements and says weird things at weird times. Evette in the movie seems to have more than meets the eye, and it seems Shirin, in her own mind, has some sort of plan, even though it was for the women to stick together, and that for at least tonight, did not seem to work.

Evette in the movie was not one of the primary players and Shirin this season in Survivor does not seem like she is one of the main players. Shirin, in my opinion, is a supporting player this season with no real shot of winning.

Evette in Clue, thought she was a part of the “team” and then suddenly reveals that she has been leaking information to an unseen, shadowed figure, who then takes the classic rope to end Evette’s time in the movie. I think Shirin will suffer a similar fate. I think she will continue to build false confidence and will probably not see her Survivor death coming.

Joe-Motorist and Singing Telegram

Keep in mind, finding every clip of every character in the movie just is impossible. Take my word for it. In the movie, there is a man whose car breaks down right in front of the mansion. He comes to the house to ask to use the phone; he is let in and then locked in a room. He makes his phone call stating that he recognizes some of the guests at the party, but before he can say who, the phone is cut off and he murdered.

I choose the singing telegram for Joe because like that character in the movie, Joe is an obvious target. Like the clip of the singing telegram dancing and then getting gunned down, that’s basically Joe in this game at this point. Every movement he makes shouts “target”.

The motorist is kind of like Joe because Joe knows he’s in trouble. He’s just powerless to do anything about it. I truly think Joe’s only chance of survival is winning out on the immunity challenges…or a dramatic shift in the dynamics of the game, which isn’t completely out of the realm of possibility. I’m basing this comparison to last night’s episode and the previous episodes and based on that, Joe is a dead man. With the Hali vote-out, things look grim for Joe, who appears at this point to only be a high-profile supporting actor with a couple of scenes left.

Will-Cop (48 second mark)

I know what you’re thinking: you picked the one person of color in Clue to represent the one person of color on Survivor, but stop right there. I have sound logic for this that has nothing to do with color!

In the movie, the cop stumbles into the Clue party after noticing the broken-down car of the previously mentioned motorist. At that point in the movie, there had already been a few murders, so the cop picks up on all the guests acting a little funny. He knows something is going on, but he can’t seem to put his finger on it. At that time, he gets locked in a room, asks to use the phone, and during that call he mentions he also recognizes a couple of the party guests. The next moment he is murdered.

This has been Will the entire game. He knows there is plotting going on behind his back, but he is completely out of the loop. He can even identify who a couple of the main plotters are, but he’s helpless like Shirin and Joe to do anything about it. At least in Will’s case, he appears not to be on anybody’s radar, but as soon as the numbers start to dwindle it’s hard to imagine Will making it to the final five.

Out of desperation, Will has aligned himself with Rodney. As it appears, Rodney is the only person who is willing to talk long-term game with Will. The bottom line is that Will kind of got dealt a bad hand in this game, and unfortunately in Survivor, you have to play the cards you’ve been dealt. I think after the Blue Collars take aim at Joe and then probably Jenn, Will will not be that far behind.

Sierra-Miss White/Cook

This was a tough one. I chose two characters for Sierra because I can’t get a handle on where she stands in the game. I chose the cook because we never really heard a word out of her, and then out of nowhere, she is found with a knife in her back. The cook made no impression in the movie, a nothing character.

Miss White, on the other hand, is a force in the movie, soft-spoken but a cold-blooded killer. Miss White has some of the best lines in the movie, so I feel a little bit guilty giving her to Sierra, who hasn’t really given us much other than a temper tantrum when her friend got voted out early in the season.

She was clearly a part of the ill-fated all-girls alliance, but she also seemed to be a part of Mike’s big talk about who to vote out on the beach. Sierra is kind of an enigma; I don’t know which way she will go week to week. There are better Survivor analysts, so maybe one of you can tell me which way Sierra is going to go in this game.

I feel safe with saying that she is still very bitter towards Dan and I think Rodney, which doesn’t exactly put her in the minority. Is she going to take the place of Hali and now try to BFF-it with Jenn? For Sierra to capture that Miss White role, she is going to have to get into a position of power and then strike when it’s least expected.

The Cook (1:40 mark)

Like I said before, I chose the cook, because there’s also a chance that Sierra doesn’t make another sound this season and we find her unceremoniously voted out on one random episode coming up.

Dan-Professor Plum

The perverted Professor Plum, formerly Dr. Plum, got caught being a little too touchy with some of his female patients. We join him at this point in his life as Professor Plum. None of the other characters seem to like Plum. No matter what he says or does, it just comes off as wrong or creepy. Even in the movie he doesn’t kill the real Mr. Body. His one big move he thought he was making was for nothing.

Doesn’t this kind of sound like our very own Dan this season? Dan just can’t help himself from coming off as unlikable to his fellow players. Dan seems as if away from the game he would be likable and friendly; however, in the game of Survivor he comes off as corny and a non-threat to win this game.

Professor Plum never seemed to be on top of the respect food chain in the movie and you can say the exact same thing about Dan in Survivor. Even though we know Dan is not going to win this season, all is not lost for him, as we know he will be in the running for the douchiest jury speech at the finale.

I can picture him now, standing up there, being way too over the top, comically passionate, probably quoting some poem about blue collar people being the salt-of-the-earth. Nobody will be able to look at him as he’s giving the speech because it will be too awkward and uncomfortable. I just don’t see Dan sitting in the finals unless something has gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Shout out to Christopher Lloyd for transitioning flawlessly from the mad scientist in Back to the Future to disgraced, perverted doctor, murderer in Clue. I miss Chris Lloyd playing pivotal roles in good movies. I feel like the generation after mine really missed out. He also suffers from the same affliction that Robert De Niro suffers from where he sounds liked a stoned ,incoherent person in every interview he has ever given.

Carolyn- Mrs. Peacock

The whitest of the white collars in Clue, Mrs. Peacock is a senator’s wife, who lives the high life. Even though she lives a lavish lifestyle, she also is not afraid to get her hands a little dirty as we learn in the movie. In the weakest of the three different endings to the movie, Mrs. Peacock turns out to be the big bad guy out of them all. They probably choose her to have that ending, because of all the characters, she seems the least threatening.

Carolyn kind of fits that description, or at least at first she did. At this point, I think the other players respect Carolyn and know she is a real player, but I think they underestimate how cold-blooded and calculated she is (meant as a positive). We know she has an idol. We know she is pretty astute. We know she is not on anybody’s radar right now, right?

To me, Carolyn winning the game is not something that would make me convulse. Carolyn is also aligned with another very smart player in Tyler. As far as intellect goes, I don’t think I would choose two different players than those two if my Survivor life was on the line. I think Carolyn is laying low for the short-term and letting Mike have enough rope to eventually hang himself with. I think Mike will have to play his idol at some point, and once he does, I can see Carolyn striking.

I think there is a good chance that at the end of this season, Carolyn is going to reveal herself as a genius villain, and like Mrs. Peacock in the movie, everybody is going to be shocked by her reveal.

Side-Note: In my twenty-five years of playing Clue, I don’t think I have ever played as Mrs. Peacock…Seriously, I’ve probably played Clue over five hundred times and never took my turn jumping into Mrs. Peacock….

Is there any doubt if they remade Clue today that Meryl Streep would play Mrs. Peacock?

Mike-Colonel Mustard

The bumbling Colonel Mustard is the character in the movie who tries to force himself into the role of leader in the group. Sometimes they let him play that role in the movie and in other moments it’s clear they have zero respect for him. That description seems to fit Mike like a glove.

Mike can’t help himself. He just has to be the shot-caller at camp, whether it comes to working or randomly inserting a live scorpion in your throat, Mike takes the lead. Prior to tonight, I thought Mike was a marked man, treading water to an inevitable blindside. All that changed tonight when Mike found the idol. He at least has bought himself a couple weeks, unless he is a complete moron, which isn’t completely off the table…Just saying.

Short of a tragic misplay, Mike has forced himself into one of the main characters this season. You have to hand it to him, because early on he seemed like he wasn’t going to make it to the merge. I don’t think I can ever forgive Mike for coming up with the tribe name of “Merica”. It just hurts too much and I’m not at a place yet where I’m ready to mend that fence with Mike.

Colonel Mustard disgraced himself to our country because he was selling secrets to the other side during the war, and I feel Mike has basically done the same thing here. Coming up with that name has hurt our country.

Tyler-Mr. Green

Dare I say the hero of the movie? Mr. Green, in the generally accepted “real” ending of the movie, turns out to be an undercover FBI agent who saves the day. Everybody has a character to kill off in the movie except Mr. Green. Throughout the movie, Mr. Green comes off as the meekest in that group, but also the most level-headed. I think you can say the same thing about Tyler this season.

Like Mr. Green, Tyler doesn’t have a real adversary. He has blended in. He has been quiet, but it’s clear the wheels are in motion in his head. I think Tyler is headed to the final five. He is partnered up with Carolyn and he seems to be in good relationships with most of the players out there. Is it possible that like Mr. Green, when this season ends, Tyler is standing there with a big grin? Tyler has done a good job of laying low. It’s starting to become more apparent to a couple of the other players that he is kind of in the middle, so at some point he will have to choose where he is going to stake his claim.

Props to the guy who played Mr. Green. He has had a long career in which he most recently played the older brother in Better Call Saul, which just ended its successful first season.

Jenn- Miss Scarlet

The clearest of threats out of all the females in Clue, Miss Scarlet is a force to be reckoned with. Growing up, I always had a crush on the actress who played her, Lesley Ann Warren. In the movie, Miss Scarlet plays a call girl who knows a lot of secrets. People underestimate her and she proves to be quite formidable.  In one of the alternate endings, Miss Scarlet gets to be the big bad guy and I can see an alternate ending in Survivor where Jenn could have won this season; however, I think she caught a couple bad breaks and her winning is probably off the table now, although maybe if she can get Carolyn on her side, it’s not completely inconceivable.

Jenn lost her main compadre this episode, so it will be interesting to see where she stands next episode.  Will Mike and the others leave her for dead or is she target number two after Joe? Jenn has been a much better player than I ever would have thought she would be. She definitely has won my respect, but like I said, I think she maybe peaked too soon and now her Survivor life could be in peril.

Jeff Probst-Mr. Body/Wadsworth the Butler

Maybe, Jeff decides this cast isn’t likable enough and inserts himself into the game. The butler is the Jeff Probst of the movie Clue; he hosts all the events and he even does a little Probst by annoying everybody with his narrations of everything.

Plus, wouldn’t it be great if we got to the final three people and Jeff pulled a WWE Money in the Bank trick (Money in the bank means you get to challenge for the championship at any time, like with this clip I shared. The champion, Brock Lesnor, was in a long battle with his foe, when the holder of the money in the bank bag, Seth Rollins, cashed it in and won the title).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLD1SuZitoM

Imagine the final competition between Tyler, Carolyn and Jenn being one of those “stand on a post for as long as possible” challenges. Imagine after two hours, out of nowhere, Jeff enters the game and wins. Wouldn’t that be the greatest Survivor moment of all time? Jeff Probst out of nowhere entering the game would blow minds. Clearly I’m a little tired and I should finish this up.

Thanks for reading.  Let me know who your top three players are after this week’s episode!

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