News AF

News AF 13 | Diet Coke Diet – 1/18/16

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Rob, Tyson and Danny talk about Town Seals, The Oregon Standoff, Giant Worms, Bigfoot, Carrot Smuggling, Uber Taking Flight, Wacking Day, the Diet Coke Diet and more!

This week’s stories:

  1.   Danny returns: No warranted worries about rumored contract dispute.
  2.   Diet Soda Diet (3:45): Diet soda (allegedly) may be better than water when it comes to weight loss? Question which type of water it is better than – contaminated water? Tyson and Danny cop to consuming lots of sugar. Study may have been funded by ‘Big Cola’. Talk devolves into Rob running for President in 2020 against Yeezy. Tyson says soda is a hot topic in Utah (moms drink it by the bathtub load).
  3.   Adam in Australia (13:30): Asks them to rank your colas – Tyson: Coke, Pepsi, Coke Zero, Diet Coke, Diet Pepsi
  4. Oregon Militia Care ‘Packages’ (14:55): Militia holed up in Wildlife Refuge in Oregon asked for supplies, people have been sending sex related devices. They’ve posted ‘unboxing’ videos which have backfired and led to more similar packages arriving.  Rob suggests these care packages could help dismantle ISIS.
  5.   Carrot Smuggling? (20:28): Texas Border Patrol intercepted a ton of Marijuana hidden as carrots among a shipment of real carrots. The guys won’t look at Snowmen the same anymore. Will carrot sales rise now?
  6.    Rapper Fight Gets Emojional (24:06): 50 Cent & Meek Mill feud – 50 Cent Instagram’d a photo of Meek in the poop emoji. Meek responded with photo of himself w/ stack of cash and manifesto. Rob gives this round to 50-cent.
  7.   Whacking Day (30:35): Florida town turning Simpson’s episode into reality by allowing Python hunting in the Everglades. The hunt hasn’t been very effective in the past. This year there is a prize of $1,500 for most caught and $1,000 for largest caught. Hunt ends on Valentine’s Day – discussion on romance of it.. can make boots, etc.
  8.    Scotland Monster Worms (34:45): Snake sized worms have been found on an island in Scotland – 4x the size of regular earthworms, however they are smaller than Australia’s Giant Gippsland earthworm which is larger than Tyson’s World’s Largest Gummy Worm.
  9.   NY Town’s White Seal (38:05): Village of Whitesboro, NY gets to keep seal depicting white man attacking Native American despite 10K signatures on Change.org. Danny mentions this would be what you’d see on police cars, town signage, etc. throughout this town. Rob says seal looks like it was made on MS Paint.
  10.  Search for Bigfoot (41:58): 229-page report purports to prove existence of Bigfoot despite no photographic evidence. Rob notes Bigfoot hasn’t had much recent attention since Harry and the Henderson’s. We need a middle-school aged Bigfoot show. Has lack of social media presence hurt Bigfoot’s popularity? Perhaps a Twitter feud with the Lochness monster? Propose reboot called Harriet and the Hendersons with Keanu as the dad, and Harriet is a teen who has grooming issues and can’t find footwear other than Basketball sneakers.
  11.  Uber and Airbus will pick you up (47:54): You can summon a helicopter to pick you up. Danny refers to a one-man drone that will pick you up and asks is this in response to that. Rob wants to know if a helicopter can pick you up anywhere like your backyard.
  12.  Personal Threat Level (52:36): Police using program in San Diego to analyze your threat level. Danny wants to know how to factor in your love of cats with arrest records, etc. Rob wonders if liking this idea reflects poorly on him.
  13.   Hashtag (55:42): #DietCokeDiet Rob wonders if we should send cases of Diet Coke to the Militia (but Tyson adds in only send cans that have the name Dick on them).
  14. 14.   5-Star Review of the Week (57:09): Honest Review by Danny fan CarolXQ. NewsAF.news to leave a review.

15.   Tyson and Rachel headed to Hawaii for 6 weeks but the show will go on!

Special thanks to Christine Radice for the episode recap

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