Richie Glanzer will be writing a blog all season long for Rob Has a Website as we continue to cover “Survivor: One World” from every conceivable angle. Click Here to Read more About Rich
A black guy, a gay guy and a little person walk into a bar…
Sorry, by this time I’m assuming you are allowing me to be politically incorrect. Well this bar the trio walked into is in Samoa and I know there is a bar because the men must have been drunk to give away immunity.
Unfortunately for Bill, the joke was on the black guy, as the little person and gay guy walked out of the bar to live another day. Yes, I know Colton is a racist, killed JFK and probably created the Ebola Virus, but is it ok if I say something? Through four episodes, he is playing the most dominant game of any first-timer in Survivor history… and its not even close.
I believe I heard it on (bi-weekly compliment alert) on Rob’s awesome (there it is) Podcast, that Russel Hantz said something to the effect of you can only judge someone by their first season. I see his point and don’t entirely agree, but the point is, no one, not even Russel himself has came close to having this much power.
This is pure domination on every level. He has fear, intimidation, playing multiple sides, and again, b-t-dubs has a not-at-all (air quotes for Colton) “Hidden” Immunity Idol.
How is Colton doing this? In an interview conducted via email, the Greatest Survivor Ever to Use Twitter, Shannon Elkins (@survivorshannon) says its not so much Colton, but his competition, “I mean what a bunch of sackless males on this tribe! It’s Survivor!!!…take a risk! Play the game! Don’t be a follower! Natalie White!!=Boring.”
While Shannon is awesome at exclamation points, he is a touch below awesome at the actual game of Survivor. I can’t go from getting insight from Survivor South Pacific champion Sophie Clarke in last week’s column to the 19th runner-up in Survivor Nicaragua, Mr. Exclamation Point this week. That just wouldn’t be fair to any of us.
So I defer to Survivor China champion Todd Herzog, to break down Colton’s game. Only problem is, Todd pretty much agrees with Shannon. “I don’t think Colton is playing a very good game. I don’t know how he’s calling all the shots. Why are all the guys listening to him? They’re really terrible at this game.”
While the guys maybe terrible at this game, I’m doing a pretty good job at predicting. What? If I have to give a bi-weekly compliment to Rob, I’m gonna pat myself on the back once a month ok? Y’all a bunch of ingrates! (The opinions expressed are those of the blogger, and do not necessarily represent the opinion of the owner of this website.)
Last week I said by giving Jonas what he wants (eliminating Bill), it may be Colton’s way next time because really, what is the difference between eliminating Bill and Matt? They both have to go in Colton’s mind. Well it was certainly Colton’s way this time, as they gave away immunity to the girls. Colton gave a very little last week to gain a whole heck of a lot this week.
But was this one of the worst moves in Survivor history? It all depends on which guy you’re talking about.
Bill – OK, duh… but before I kill Bill, lets not automatically say this is one of the dumbest moves in Survivor history. On his exit speech, Bill said, “Since I was probably next on the chopping block anyway, I came to tribal council to roll the dice.” So its not like Bill didn’t have any critical thoughts. It appears Bill thought maybe he can get in the dominant alliance and not be the next to go and if that would have worked, then it would have been a brilliant move. However, it had no shot to work, so yes, you can probably say this is the third dumbest move in Survivor history, next to Erik and Brandon giving away immunity so late in the game.
Mike – You’re already a target, why in the world would you get rid of possibly the only person who is ahead of you in the chopping block? This was insanely stupid. Not to mention, you got rid of your only ally and if you were ahead of Leif, you may not be anymore. So what if the rest of the guys were mad at you? You should have used your life line to call Shannon. His grow-a-pair is 100% accurately directed at you.
Jonas-Troyzan & Tarzan – Bill was not your mortal enemy, he was Colton’s. He was someone you can use later on if you need him. Furthermore, now the girls are even with the boys, and if there’s a tribe switch no longer are the odds likely to be in your favor. This was idiotic.
Leif- Much like Bill, Leif rolled the dice. He said at Tribal, “By putting myself up for elimination, I really hope it proves to the guys that I still have integrity within our group.” Actions speak louder than words and Leif proved his loyalty with his actions. He probably is not next to go in Colton’s chopping block anymore. I don’t think Leif has much of a chance to win or even go far in this game, but this one play was smart.
Colton- Colton’s greatest weakness is his emotion. He was not wise to go mental on Bill. But once he did, he had to lie in the bed he made. And if you have a mortal enemy in Survivor, and you have the numbers to do survive without them, it’s usually a good idea to get rid of them. Look at it this way, who is a more dangerous threat to Colton’s kingdom, Christina or Bill? The answer is Bill, hence why Colton lands in the smart category. Though if he isn’t as tight with the girls as he thinks, this may come back to bite him.
But I’m leaving someone out, and that’s because he’s getting a very prestigious award…
I had a dumb and smart category but I didn’t have a brilliant category because if I did, Jay would be in it. Before Jay stumbled along the Misfits Alliance, he was clueless and outnumbered. Jay has turned into the pitcher that gives up back-to-back home runs to start the game, but settles down and cruises through the next four innings. Jay did not want to agree to Colton’s plan, but told Probst, “If I don’t go with the majority, I could be the next to go. I don’t want to put a target on my back so reluctantly, I said yes.”
With this move, Jay has gone from sixth in the Misfit Alliance, to fifth. That’s a very important jump. It’s too bad for Jay that Bill had to go, because they were allies, but it’s better for Jay to wave goodbye to Bill, than to piss off Colton. I could really see Jay winning this game.
Tarzan. Last week I said he’d finish in fourth, this week I’m not so sure. He angered the girls calling their challenge victory lucky. Now I realize that a little annoyance on Day 12 or so won’t really matter come Day 36. When I combine that with his weird speech at Tribal, me thinks Tarzan is losing it a little, and may turn into this season’s Angry Randy Bailey. If Tarzan gets away from Colton on the tribe switch, he may pay for that lucky comment.
Too bad Jay jumped up so high in the Misfits Alliance, because Jeff Probst deserved to go from Heel to Hero. He was right to be disgusted by Alicia when she was laughing when they lost, and his questioning of Colton was better than Barbara Walters could have done. It was a huge spot and Probst needed to step up. He did. Big time. Its why he’s the best in the industry.
Jonas or Troyzan would be wise to ride Colton as far as they can go, and then take credit for blindsiding him later on. Had Parvati been able to blindside Russel, she probably impresses the jurors and maybe beats Sandra in Heroes v. Villains. The problem is those bold moves to oust a leader aren’t that common. If Colton wants to win Survivor, he’s going to have to start working at camp, being less controversial, and show he’s growing up as a man. I think he’s smart enough to realize this now.
Sorry for not mentioning any girl but Alicia. I’ll mention another. Sabrina. This girl can play on my coed hockey team in NYC anytime she wants. I love her competitiveness, combined with her coolness under pressure. Alicia, not so much.