A Celebrity Apprentice guest post from Jordan Kalish
I had a great time on the Celebrity Apprentice podcast this week, but unfortunately in my conversation with Rob, I utilized all my material. I already said that Lisa and Aubrey are by far my favorite contestants this season, and were unsurprisingly the most entertaining this episode. Also, I predicted that Teresa is the next to go and that Clay is the favorite to win, which I admit isn’t going out too far on a limb. Since all my observations and jokes have already been stated, there is only one thing to do.
Why Good Sam Is The Company That Sucks:
1. The Executive- Where did Good Sam find this guy? Firstly, there was his obligatory cutting-off-of-the-Donald-in-order-to-announce-his-donation. It was by far the weirdest one of all time. After Trump said how much he was donating, the executive gave an exaggerated smile and sounded so giddy when he said, “wait a second.” Then, instead of just letting the celebrities know that Good Sam was going to donate additional money to the winning charity, he actually bent towards Trump and stroked his arm while making his announcement. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to smell the Success cologne Trump was wearing or feel the fabric of his suit, but it was really creepy.
Even creepier was the look he gave Dayana during the planning stage of the task. He met the rest of her teammates with a normal greeting and handshake, but when he got to Dayana his face lit up like the Jacaré shelter. I swear I saw him linger a little longer while staring into Miss Universe’s eyes. He also criticized the team’s performance for not including her. Pervy exec wanted another peak. Later, despite his comment about Aubrey’s top being inappropriate for children and grandmothers, he seemed to be infatuated by her low cut attire. He was one step away from sending Elaine Benes into Aubrey’s dressing room to inspect the authenticity of her chest. Ultimately he determined that they are real and spectacular.
2. The Mascot- If Tarzan botched Ronald Reagan’s plastic surgery, the outcome would look something like the Good Sam mascot (I wonder if George Ross likes Reagan jokes as much as Patton jokes). While its creepiness was overshadowed by the executive, it must be talked about among the flaws of this company. During the performances in which it was supposed to be the star, it just stood there and gave a thumbs up. The least it could have done was drop Aubrey, which would have been amazing TV. Also, why did Trump think that selling bobbleheads would raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity? I’m pretty sure that people only get bobbleheads when they’re given out as baseball game promotions.
3. What is Good Sam?- After doing some investigative work with Rob on the podcast, we found out that Good Sam is an emergency service for RV’s. That’s great, but the purpose of the company isn’t at all made clear on the show. What’s the point of advertising your company on national television if you don’t let anyone know what you do? Don’t you think this is a wasted opportunity? Don’t you? Dayana’s team was criticized for lack of brand messaging, but Good Sam itself was the worst offender. It’s a stretch to begin with that a significant number of Celebrity Apprentice viewers own an RV, but I bet 99% of people watching had no idea what Good Sam was selling. The owner of Good Sam needs to go to his marketing team, his mascot, and his executive and say “You’re Fired!”